Chapter 45 Max
MAX
“Are you really sure you don’t want to come with us?” I ask Lily, who is busy working on her newest DIY project.
Focused, she tapes off parts of the wall before she gets up, walking across the still mostly barren living room over to me with a smile on her face.
I’m glad Lily and I are responsible for turning this house into a home because Logan was done with furniture shopping the moment we had a couch and a huge TV.
During the last two weeks, Lily asked for permission every single time she wanted to buy something for the house.
It took a while–and a little lecture from Logan–for her to understand that we just want her to be happy and comfortable.
The sole thought of her not being allowed to express herself in the past hurt, but now Logan and I get to see how her face lights up every time she comes up with a new idea to decorate the place.
Of course I’m always up to help her with her little projects, and it’s not because I’m scared of her playing around with a saw. I just love spending time with her.
“It’s boy’s night, so go and have fun. Tell Charlie I said hello if he’s coming, okay?”
I nod, stroking over her head.
No matter what I tell her, Lily continues to blame herself for Charlie’s breakdown, but given our line for work, it was only a matter of time.
He wanted to prove that he is a part of our family and that he’d risk his life for us just like we would for him.
The problem is that he’s shutting all of us out while he tries to deal with the consequences on his own.
I don’t know if I should be glad or concerned about the fact that Charlie’s crisis affects Lily more than Brady’s death.
She was shocked when we told her the news. For around a day. Half a day, maybe, concluding my carefully prepared speech with the words, “I should tell Dario we don’t need to go through with the annulment.”
Brady really died for her the day she went down to the cell block to talk to him.
The medical examiner ruled out any kind of foul play on the day of Brady’s actual death.
Apparently, the cause was a simple heart failure.
It could have been induced by prolonged stress, but I’m not convinced that this is even remotely close to the truth.
That guy was in his early thirties, fit, had no history of drug abuse, and had no pre-existing conditions, according to Lily.
And maybe I did some digging on my own. My research found a quick ending when Mr. Holton’s parents insisted on cremating their son, which made another autopsy impossible.
“Cady came over while you and Logan were gone,” Lily says, picking up a piece of paper from the kitchen counter. “Told me to give this to you.”
Checked the backlog of the entry system to the cell block. It was just an error caused by a system update, sorry.
Logan comes strolling out of the bedroom, fixing his belt, and I let the piece of paper disappear before he sees it.
“You’re not thinking about it again, are you?”
My fault for believing I could hide anything from him. I shake my head, and we say goodbye to Lily before we leave for the bar. We’re barely out of the door when Logan puts his arm around my waist, whispering in my ear.
“Need to fuck those thoughts out of your pretty head soon,” he growls, and my lips curl up into a smile. “It’s been too long, sunshine.”
My cock twitches in my pants, agreeing with Logan.
In the last three weeks, we barely had time to sleep.
We were either at the hospital with Ruby or busy checking out houses and once we had picked one, we had to take care of a ton of other things, like driving to Lily’s old home and collecting her things.
Lily didn’t want to go inside and gave us a list of essential items instead.
Upon seeing the state of her house, I was glad she didn’t go in with us.
“Do you think she’s happy with the house?” Logan asks, switching sides with me. “I mean she says she is, but–”
“She loves it, Logan,” I reassure him as I try to keep my mind off of the fact that we’re all expected back on base on Monday.
Sam kept complaining about it in our group chat for the past few days, and I understand that he doesn’t want to leave Ruby alone at home. She has been out of the hospital for around a week now, and Sam filled their house in Florida with countless armed guards and doctors.
The concussion was a bit more severe than we had thought at first, and I still thank God for Rockwell, who sped to the ER because a few more hours and the internal bleeding caused by a liver laceration would have gone unnoticed until it would have been too late to save Ruby.
Ruby joked about it the minute the sedatives wore off.
Kept on telling us that we should have seen the others, like it wasn’t a big deal at all.
But it’s her way of coping with things, and I prefer it over Charlie’s shutdown.
Plus, I have seen the others, or what was left of them, once Sam intervened.
I still wonder what she was trying to tell us that night as we left the burning factory, but Ruby couldn’t remember most of the ordeal, and Sam made it pretty clear he didn’t want me to press the issue.
A ten-minute walk later, Logan and I arrive at the bar where we’re supposed to meet the others. It’s right in the neighborhood, just like Rockwell’s house. Logan wasn’t too pleased about this, but the house is close to base and in a gated community, which had been the main selling point in the end.
“Here,” Rockwell calls for us as we enter the cozy pub, an already half-empty glass of whiskey in his hand.
Sam sits across from him, busy with his phone, only looking up from it as we take our chairs.
“Where’s Charlie?” Logan asks before ordering two beers for us.
“Wanted to stay with Ruby,” Sam answers with a sigh as he tucks his phone away.
“How is he?” I ask, and Sam shakes his head.
“Not good. We shouldn’t have let him come with us.”
“It’s my fault,” Rockwell says, shoving his glass back and forth over the table. “I made him feel like he had to prove something. As his captain, I should have known that he wasn’t able to handle this. But enough of this now. We need to give the boy some time to breathe.”
When the waitress comes over with our beers, Rockwell orders a round of vodka for all of us.
“You’ll need it,” he says dryly, stealing himself a cigarette out of Logan’s pack. He lights it up, taking a deep drag. “Pick. Bad news, terrible news, weird news.”
“Bad news,” Logan replies, snatching his cigarettes back from him.
Sam leans back in the chair, apparently already briefed about the bad news, because he closes his eyes for a moment as Rockwell starts speaking.
“Cantrell won’t be coming back,” he says, stopping when the waitress sets a tablet with shots down on our table.
“Did he catch the flu or some kind of alien-virus?” Logan asks.
“Yeah, the flu,” I mumble while Rockwell reaches for a glass of vodka.
“Please, sunshine, not everything is a conspiracy,” Logan groans next to me.
“I’m starting to believe Vaughn is onto something with his theories,” Rockwell says with a sigh, meeting my gaze. “Cantrell died yesterday. His wife called me. She knew we were close.”
Now it’s my turn to down a shot.
“That was the bad news? Don’t know if I wanna hear the rest,” I say, running my fingers through my hair.
Breathing in deeply, Rockwell rubs his hands over his face, the cigarette discarded in the ashtray.
“Sanders is being sworn in tomorrow as the new General.”
“So we’re all unemployed starting from tomorrow?” Sam asks, pushing his tea aside and reaching for my still-untouched beer instead.
Logan is the only one who seems unfazed by the news, a grin tugging at his lips as he leans forward.
“You knew,” I whisper, and he wiggles his eyebrows at me.
Yesterday, he was gone for almost the whole day.
He refused to tell Lily and me where he was going, only said something about a side project before he vanished.
Wearing a dress shirt and matching pants instead of his usual attire, which did confuse us, but we try to give him enough space so he doesn’t implode.
“I visited Emerson yesterday, right after I heard about Cantrell’s death.
Don’t ask how. I have my sources. Anyway, Emerson’s issues with the 203 run a little deeper than he let on at first. One hand washes the other, and since someone took care of the 203’s upper management, I thought it was reasonable to call in a favor. ”
“Which means?” Sam asks.
“Your careers are safe for now, and my ass is at Emerson’s free disposal. Needed a new job either way.”
“Do you think that was a wise decision?” Rockwell asks, and Logan puts his arm around my shoulders.
“I know how much that club matters to you guys.” He shrugs, drinking a sip from his beer. “But now I wanna hear the weird news.”
“Well, we don’t need to find a way to get Carter out of prison,” Rockwell says.
“Please tell me it’s because they dropped all charges,” Sam says, stealing my beer a second time. “Please.”
Rockwell makes a face, scratching his nose to avoid looking at him.
“He was at the infirmary when he knocked out two nurses and used one of the guards to march out of there.”
“You could have filed that under good news,” I say, and Logan nods.
“Am I the only one who wants to meet him? He sounds fun.”
“I’m afraid I have to crush your dream. If he’s clever, he’ll never contact me or Sam. I hope he’s on some island by now.”
We spend the next hour talking, and when Sam starts pulling out his phone every five minutes instead of the usual ten, we wrap it up.
Sam arrived here earlier today, and since none of us looks forward to going back to base, he’s staying at Rockwell’s place until Monday. They walk together with us for a while, and we say goodbye to the guys when Rockwell’s house comes into view.
As soon as we’re alone, Logan reaches for my hand, holding it all the way back home.
“You didn’t have to sell yourself to Emerson,” I say.
“I would do anything as long as it means you and Lily are happy and safe,” he mumbles, reaching for his keys as we make it to the front door of our house.
Inside, it smells like cake, new furniture, and cardboard mixed with a little bit of paint. A plate with freshly baked brownies sits on the kitchen counter, a note with a heart drawn on it sticking to the dish.
Lily is snuggled up on the couch, the TV still running as she stirs in her sleep. She must have tried to stay awake to wait for us to come back, and the realization that this is our life now is enough to fill my heart with so much happiness it feels like it’s going to burst out of my chest.
Logan walks over to Lily and scoops her up in his arms, carrying her to our shared bedroom. Shared, with the compromise that the guestroom is Logan’s realm. He hasn’t slept there a single time since we moved in.
Hastily, I get out of my clothes while brushing my teeth at the same time, and as soon as I’m under the covers next to Lily, Logan takes his turn to get ready for the night.
I exhale in relief when we’re both in bed, Lily sleeping soundly in between us. Her head rests on Logan’s shoulder while she clutches my arm with her hand, and I softly stroke over her head. Somehow, I’m still scared of her turning into dust if I stop touching her for too long.
In the first few days after Lily’s abduction, she woke up crying in the middle of the night. I think it’s part of the reason Logan insists on sleeping here.
Throughout all of this, I forced myself to stay strong for Lily.
To provide a shoulder for her to cry on, knowing how quickly emotional stuff overwhelms Logan.
I took on Lily’s emotional turmoil and stashed it away right next to mine because I promised to take care of her, and I am going to keep this promise until the day I die.
Still, we don’t know what the future holds. We don’t know what’s going to happen, and sometimes, the fear of losing her and Logan becomes so overbearing I forget how to breathe.
“Hey,” Logan snaps me out of my gloomy fantasy, tugging on my lower lips with his thumb so I let go of it.
“Try to enjoy it,” he whispers. “For me.”
“I’m just so goddamn scared,” I whisper back.
“Don’t be.”
I wish it was this simple.
“There’s nothing to be scared of. I can kill anyone who dares to look at you and Lily. And if it’s something that can’t be killed, I’ll find another solution.”
He puts his hand on my cheek, making it easier to return his smile.
“We have Lily. We have each other, and that alone is so much more than I ever thought I’d have. This right here is all that matters.”