Chapter 37
Thirty-Seven
Rose
I sit on my bed, thinking about what is going to happen.
What we need to do. Somehow, we have to think of a way to stop Jasmine.
The guys are off on their own right now, all of them trying to figure out a plan.
I needed some time to myself, but all I’ve been doing is thinking about what I found.
My stomach churns every time I picture those bones in Jasmine’s office, those teeth, the grimoire with its horrific illustrations.
Hank croaks from beside me with froggy concern, and I pet his head with my finger. I really hope nothing happens to Hank, if something happens to me. I don’t know where a familiar goes when its witch is dead. Do they just disappear? I can’t even conceive of a world without Hank.
The knock on my door is a welcome interruption from my spiraling.
Drake stands in the hallway. “Can I come in?” He’s so real now he has to walk through open doors like everyone else. No more walking through walls or popping in and out of reality.
“Hey, you.” I step back to let him through, but the look on his face tells me something’s wrong. “What’s going on? Is it Jasmine? Another missing person?”
He doesn’t answer right away, just walks across my small dorm room, stopping at the window to stare out at the grounds. His back is to me, hands shoved in his pockets.
“Drake?” I move toward him, but he holds up a hand to stop me.
“Before we do this, before we face Jasmine, there’s something I need to tell you.”
“Okay.”
Drake turns to face me, and the torment in his expression makes a lump form in my stomach. “I should have told you a long time ago. But I was a coward.”
“Told me what?” I ask, but part of me doesn’t want to know. Things have been good between us. The way he can touch me now, be with me. The happiness on his face when he realized he could be corporeal.
“I used you, Rose. From the very beginning.”
I sink onto the edge of my bed. “What are you talking about, Drake?”
“The Accord. The blood contract between your family and the Crescent Moon Coven, originally.”
“Yeah, I know all that.”
“I knew how to find it. I always knew.” His voice cracks. “I’ve been waiting for a Smith witch who could break it for decades.”
The room seems to tilt slightly. “What?”
“The last one was in the late sixties. Your cousin, maybe? She wasn’t strong enough. And I couldn’t get her to do it.” Drake’s eyes are pleading now. “But I knew eventually someone from your bloodline would come who could break the Accord. I just had to wait.”
My head spins as I try to piece together what he’s saying.
“I manipulated you into wanting to find it.” He looks away, shame written across his features. “Not for you. For me.”
“Why?” I feel sick. “Why would you do that?”
“Revenge.” Drake’s voice is barely above a whisper. “The Crescent Moon Coven is the reason I’m dead. They murdered me. I wanted to destroy them, to watch their power crumble. And the breaking original blood contract was the key.”
I stand up, needing to move, to process. My hands are shaking.
“So I was a tool in your revenge plot?” The hurt blooms in my chest.
“At first, yes.” Drake takes a step toward me, then stops when I back away. “But then I got to know you, and everything changed. I didn’t expect to fall in love with you, Rose. I never planned for that.”
“But you still didn’t tell me the truth.” My voice is getting too loud.
“I know.” He looks defeated. “I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid. Afraid you’d hate me.”
“So you just kept lying.”
Drake nods miserably. “I’m not asking for forgiveness. I don’t deserve it from you.”
I stare at him, this man I’ve given my heart to. Who I believed in when no one else could even see him. The betrayal hurts. A lot. Trust doesn’t come easily for me, and I’d trusted Drake completely. More than any of the others.
“I understand if you hate me,” he says. “I hate myself.”
“I don’t hate you. I’m furious with you. But I don’t hate you.”
He smiles sadly. “I should go.”
“Go?” I’m confused. “Go where?”
“I don’t expect you to keep doing whatever you’re doing. The magic that’s making me able to stay here.” He gestures vaguely at himself. “It’s okay.”
It takes a second for his words to register, and when they do, a fresh wave of anger washes over me.
“Are you fucking kidding me right now?”
Drake blinks, startled by my tone. “What?”
“You think I’m going to what, just cut you off? Let you disappear forever because I’m pissed at you?” I step toward him, jabbing a finger into his very, very real chest. As flesh and blood as I am. “That’s what you think of me?”
Drake stands perfectly still. “I don’t understand.
“Clearly!” I’m angry, I’m hurt, but mostly? Mostly, I’m exasperated. “You’ve been around for over a century, and you still don’t understand. That’s not how love works.”
“Love?” He stares at me.
I cross my arms, turning my back to him because I can’t look at his face right now. “When I love someone, I love them. I don’t just turn it off because they fucked up, even if they fucked up royally, which you absolutely did.”
“Say that again,” Drake’s voice is barely audible.
“What?” I snap, still facing away from him.
“That you love me.”
I whirl around, incredulous. “Of course I do, dumbass! How could you possibly not know that?”
Drake looks stunned, as if I’ve slapped him. “Even after what I just told you.”
“Yes, I’m angry. Yes, you should have told me the truth from the beginning!
And yes, we are absolutely going to have a much longer conversation about this when we’re not preparing to confront a cannibalistic witch!
” My voice breaks a little at the end. “But that doesn’t mean I stop loving you. What kind of person do you think I am?”
“The best kind,” he says, and it deflates me immediately.
“Then why would you think I’d let you fade away? That I’d ever let you go like that.”
“Because that’s what people do.” Drake’s eyes are haunted. “They betray. They choose self-preservation.”
“Well, I’m not people.” I step closer to him. “I’m me, and I don’t abandon the people I love, even when they’re complete idiots who don’t trust me enough to tell me the truth.”
Because that’s the thing about love. It doesn’t mean overlooking the bad parts or pretending the hard stuff doesn’t exist. It means choosing someone, even when the path forward isn’t clear. It means fighting alongside them, for them, even when you’re still angry.
Drake reaches for me hesitantly. His fingers brush my cheek, and I let him, despite the anger still simmering inside me.
“I don’t deserve you,” he says.
“Probably not,” I agree. “But you’ve got me anyway. And I’m not going anywhere. To be fair, I probably don’t deserve you either.” I give a little laugh.
In one fast movement, Drake pulls me against him, his arms wrapping around me so tightly I can barely breathe, his face buried in my hair.
“I’m so sorry, Rose,” he murmurs, over and over. “I’m so sorry.”
I let myself melt into him, my own arms circling his waist. “I’m still pissed at you,” I mumble into his chest. “Really, really pissed.”
“I know.”
“And you’re going to make it up to me.”
“I have a few ideas.”
“And you’re never going to lie to me again.”
“Never.”
I pull back enough to look up at his face. “And you’re never, ever going to suggest that I would let you fade away. Off the table. Forever.”
Drake takes my face in his hands, his blue eyes staring into mine. “I was an idiot.”
“The biggest.”
“A complete fool.”
“A total moron.”
He smiles. “I love you, Rose Smith. More than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything in a hundred years of existence.”
“I love you too.” I reach up to touch his face. I’ll never get tired of that face.
Drake leans down, his forehead resting against mine, and I rise up on my toes and press my lips to his. I open my mouth to him, and he kisses me slow and deep.
Then the moment is shattered by the sound of Jasmine’s voice, broadcasting to the entire academy that the trials will be resuming.
Right now.