Chapter Twenty-Nine
Magnus
“ W hose fist did you run into?” Ryder asks the next morning.
I rub a hand on my chest, where I hurt. Where I haven’t stopped hurting since everything whet to hell. “A girl.”
“Oh. Oh, how the mighty fall.”
When Zoey punched me, I wanted to laugh. There was nothing remotely funny about it and there still isn’t, but the fact she had the stones to do that is admirable.
Everything about her is admirable.
And I screwed up. I know it.
Ryder holds up the new plans I’ve made, the ones I stayed up late into the night with tequila as my companion doing. I’ve had them printed and bound and I asked my brother to look at it. Something I never do.
Until now.
Funny how an ache in your chest and the quiet knowledge you screwed up massively can undermine confidence.
“Has she seen this?”
I’m about to say who, but Ryder isn’t an idiot. Even without the bruise on my cheek and my saying it was a girl, he’d guess.
“No, I don’t think she wants to see me.”
“Well, if it were me, I wouldn’t either.”
I point at him. Playing our games is easier than giving into the anger and pain that stalks my veins. I can separate myself from them because inside it’s not done with Zoey. It won’t be done until I let her know the plans.
“You’ve changed, Ry.”
“Being played the way I was has that effect.” Then he narrows his eyes. “Are you playing her with this?”
“Of course not.”
“Is it a game to win her or do you mean it?”
“You can go fuck yourself, Ryder. I did this for her.”
“Or,” he says, “you did this to make yourself feel better.”
“I know she’ll like it.”
“Is that enough?” My younger brother, the one who can’t keep it in his pants and doesn’t want to, is suddenly acting all mature. I suspect he’s playing his own game because we’re still waiting to hear how the emergency board meeting went. But then again, the family company means the most to him. And…
And I’m distracting myself. “You mean is that enough as in what I’ve done? The answer is yes. And the answer to the other question is this. Of course she’ll like it, Ryder.”
“Of course,” he says. “But are you willing to accept it if she won’t take you back?”
“I’m not trying to get with her. We’re from different worlds. And she’s not my type.”
My brother sighs. “I don’t know her. But I know you and you don’t have a type. It’s an anti type. Women who don’t mean anything beyond the sexual relationships.”
“Some of them are friends.”
“This Zoey, you like her. Some might suspect you love her, Mag. And if you’re doing this to play a game to get her, then you’re going to lose.”
“This is a little pot and kettle.”
“I know who and what I am. I play. But I understand people.”
I snatch the folder from my brother. “You’re wrong.”
And I head to the door. I might say wrong, but I’ve a horrible feeling he could be right.
***
Zoey’s little bookstore is open when I get there. I walk in and glance about. She’s staring at me and if stares from her right now were daggers, I’d be a bleeding, bloody mess on the floor.
No one else is here, so I quickly flip both the lock on and the sign to closed and approach her quietly and carefully.
“You gave me money.”
Shit. I forgot the envelope. I rub a hand over my eyes. “Yeah.”
“I don’t want money from you.”
“It was your money.”
“From you.”
I come to a stop at the counter and place the folder on it. “I handed you the money, that’s true, but it’s the money you gave that old scam artist. I tracked her down and got it back from her. I’m sorry, that was never part of it.”
“Is that all?” She nods toward the door. “You can go now. I have a store to run until I move away.”
Those words slice through me. “You’re planning on moving from this part of Brooklyn?”
“It’s none of your business. I’m none of your business. You won.”
I slide the folder to her, but she doesn’t touch it.
“Thing is, I don’t think anyone’s won. I didn’t set out to hurt you. But I knew you would and for that…shit, I wouldn’t give me a chance.”
“You’re asking for a chance?”
The disbelief in her voice cuts even deeper into me, and that ache in my chest starts to roll through my blood. Am I? “Probably. I don’t like losing, Zoey. I’m ruthless, and I don’t let anything get in the way of what I want. Thing is, I never realized one thing I’d want is you.”
“Don’t lie to me. It’s not fair. You’re taking everything and now you’re trying to take what? My heart, too?”
I’m doing that, I know I am, and my brother is right, my reasons here are selfish, but he’s also wrong, because I want a chance with her, and I think if I work at it, I can get it. But I also want her to be happy. I want to give her what she wants. And I’ve found a way to do it.
She shouldn’t want to see me again, I know that. Yet here I am, taking a risk, a big risk, because I don’t know how it will play.
If I lose her. I lose everything.
“I had an epiphany last night. I care because you do.”
“You’ve said I can’t win.”
“No one wins with my first scenario. As I said, I’m ruthless. I came up with something else.” I nod to the folder. “This is the new vision. One where you keep your place. I build around it and… Just read it. Or don’t. If you prefer the money, then I’ve left what I’ll pay you in there. And I can go higher.”
“Is this to get me back?” She starts laughing and shakes her head, her hands spreading out on the plans and everything I’ve laid out, page by page. “That’s ridiculous. You don’t—”
“Yes.”
It hits me, how I really feel about her. Why I kept sleeping with her. Why I wanted to spend time with her. Why I enjoyed it. Why she makes me feel like I have a heart that isn’t there to just push blood around and keep me alive.
“Yes, Zoey. If there’s a chance, any chance at all, yes. But also if you don’t want me, can’t forgive me then…” I swallow. “Then this will still go through. You being happy means everything to me. So I figured, as you kept pointing out, I’m fucking rich. I can use that money to set aside apartments at prices for the people who still want to live here. I’ll build around your store. I’ll keep some places, businesses. I’m going to change the landscape, but you’re right, these people who want to live here can and should. And if I’m going to change the future of urban living, then I need to look at a bigger picture. And you made me do that.”
“Magnus, I don’t know what to say.” She’s big eyed, full of distrust, hope, wariness. I can’t see hate, but I’m not exactly looking that deep.
Then again, it’s Zoey.
Hate isn’t natural to someone like her.
“Don’t say anything. Just look at it. My offices are listed on there. And you have my number. Thing is, I’ve gone and fallen in love with you, Zoey. I never said that. I never realized until everything fell apart. I’m not a great guy, I know that. But you make me better and…well, I hope to hear from you.”
And then I do one of the hardest things in my life.
I walk away.
My meetings are done for the day and I haven’t heard from Zoey. Did I really expect to?
“Magnus?”
Shit. I realize my mother’s been in my office, talking to me for a number of minutes now, and I barely noticed.
“What?”
“I was saying that I’m here unofficially on official business. Your time is up and you showed you have heart. To Jenson and his people, anyway. You met all the requirements laid out by your father.”
She hands me a small box and an envelope.
I toss them both down on my desk and tap my finger against the top.
“The contents of the envelope are something you might need to discuss with your brothers. It’s to do with the meeting.”
Ryder and his fucking the wrong women. Jesus, those people on the board are puritans, but if I passed the test, then they can’t do anything. I’m not worried. They can stew or resign and sell their shares. I really don’t care.
Then I look at my mother. “So my foundations worked? Showed them I have heart.”
She smiles. “Zoey.”
“Excuse me?”
“Your test passed because you changed all your plans for Zoey. Congratulations, Magnus. You did it because of her.”
A small noise catches my attention and I swing my gaze to my office door.
Zoey stands there.
And her face tells me she’s heard everything.
I get what my mother has been saying now. What it means to show I have heart. Zoey.
She’s my heart.
I’m a book of clichés in love with her. Zoey showed me I have a heart.
But the thing I didn’t know was that they shatter.
Because I might just have gone and destroyed my heart.
Zoey holds everything.
I get to my feet.
“Zoey?”