Chapter 9
CHAPTER 9
Without a clock or a window, Takashi had to rely on his internal sense of time. Sleeping had thrown off his estimates, but he could feel in his bones that the sun was down. Considering his hunger, he figured that the hour was probably in the neighborhood of ten o’clock.
Pacing wasn’t an effective use of energy, but he wasn’t content to sit still and wait for someone to fetch him. He needed patience to see him through this terrible turn of events, but he needed movement to settle his mind. Summoning calm wasn’t easy on an empty stomach. The gray bands the night before hadn’t been satisfying. Disconnected from their emotions, they were as fulfilling as a glass of ice water—gratifying for the moment he was swallowing, but not for long after.
Midstep, his shadow reached up from the floor and wrapped around his ankle. It yanked him toward the floor. He avoided faceplanting on the wooden boards, landing on his hands and knees. Tendrils roiled out of his shadow and latched around his wrists, forearms, and thighs. No amount of pushing freed him from the inky-black pseudopods. When he growled, a tendril snaked up and wrapped around his mouth.
This sort of magic had to be Anton’s doing. But why pin him to the floor of a room no one else was in?
Agonizing minutes later, the door swung open. Anton was dressed for an evening out, though he’d left behind his suit jacket and rolled up his sleeves. He regarded Takashi with the same impassively cold demeanor he’d had at the end of their last conversation.
A twinge twisted Takashi’s heart because Anton was breathtaking . He knew what he was, what he wanted, and the only opinion that mattered was his lover’s. People spoke of greatness as if it was something achieved, but it was grown. Nurtured and cultivated. Where other older vampires faded into pettiness, Anton was a mystery. An undead force of magic and persistence.
He was a blazing star.
You’re falling for the same bullshit that’s broken your spirit too many times. Sergei. Kuwat. Nobu. Faustino. Roger . Charismatic, gorgeous men had always lulled Takashi’s sensibilities. He was drawn to their orbit, unwilling to deny their gravitational pull, even when he knew better. I cannot afford to drop my guard around this monster. He will devour me. Perhaps literally .
“Come along,” Anton said, crooking his finger for Takashi to follow him. He turned on his heel and walked out of the room. His bootheels clicked, each sound echoing with confidence.
Takashi was about to make a noise despite the gag in his mouth to point out that he couldn’t do as commanded. Then the shadows rose up underneath him and carried him into the hall. The touch of them became colder, firmer, almost as if they were solid creatures. Riding them was like being carried in a blanket by several others. One side would jostle him, the other dipped. It was unnerving.
Anton stopped beside a window and leaned against the wall, gazing outward. Languidly, he waved his hand, and the shadows receded into the floor, depositing Takashi. In a musing tone, Anton said, “I have been thinking about you a great deal.”
Slowly, Takashi stood and joined Anton. The view beyond was of the darkened yard. The mansion’s grounds went on for a little way, and a tall fence marked the edge of the property. Other than a few large trees and the occasional set of bushes, the field of grass was unremarkable. Due to the light in the hallway, the details were harder to pick out, but as far as Takashi could tell, there was nothing interesting to see.
“I’m flattered,” Takashi said smoothly.
“You don’t know what sort of thoughts I’ve been having,” Anton replied.
A ghost of a grin graced Takashi’s lips, and he leaned against the opposite side of the window from Anton. “Well, I’m not screaming in agony nor confined to a box at the bottom of a ravine, so I’d like to believe they aren’t all that negative.”
“Always clever. Always careful.” Anton rested his head against the window frame, and a wistful smile creased his lips. “I remember the first time you came to the city. You were hiding in Nell’s shadow. You sought the edge of the room, watching us with wide eyes.”
“I was less than thirty years a vampire surrounded by beings more than ten times my age in a city run by gangsters. A little trepidation was in order.”
“I suppose.” Anton’s gaze sharpened as he met Takashi’s, and his smile grew sly. “How much of it was a front?”
“Excuse me?” Takashi asked. But his voice threatened to catch in his throat. Only experience kept his tone even. “I don’t know what you mean.”
Anton stepped closer and put his hand on Takashi’s chest. “I raked my claws through you, Takashi. I may not know your thoughts, but I know the shape of your desires.”
The deflection was quick to his lips, but Takashi paused. Bluffs were the easiest way to survive the various covens of vampires that he dealt with.
But eventually, there had to be a time when the bullshit was dropped. Anton had been in his mind and pillaged for those deeper feelings. The walls between his outer self and inner self had a gap, and Anton was pressing his eye to it, peering through to him.
Takashi lightly pushed Anton’s hand away and turned toward the window. “And you must know that I love Roger. That I want to see him and Zack safe and happy.”
“They are easy to love, aren’t they?” Anton asked. “Handsome, sensual Roger, who constantly pleases everyone around him. Beautiful, brilliant Zack, who can pierce through the thickest shield. They were plotting my lover’s death, but I don’t hate them.”
Anton was speaking of them as if they were still alive. That might be a ruse, but Takashi allowed the detail to raise his spirits. He slid his hands into his pants pockets and stared out into the darkness. Somewhere, his lovers were alive. How can I play my cards to convince Anton to tell me what I want to know? Can I trust anything he says ?
“Watching the wheels of your mind turn is marvelous,” Anton said cheerfully. He brushed his fingers through Takashi’s black hair. “I am especially amazed at how you suppress your truest self.”
Takashi dipped his head out of Anton’s touch, shot him a quick glare, and then returned his gaze to the dark yard. Creatures as old as Anton always wanted entertainment. Giving in easily never thrilled them. Walking the line between teasing them, denying them, and flattering them was a tough, high-wire act, but he’d had decades of practice. Every vampire court had someone like Anton, though he usually didn’t wind up with so much alone time with them.
“This time I’m certain that I’m lost to your meaning,” Takashi replied.
“I was in your mind,” Anton said, his voice slithering. “You play the part of gentleman well, but I know what lies beneath.”
Once more, Anton put his hand on Takashi’s chest. He slid his touch upward, reaching to caress Takashi’s throat.
Takashi caught his wrist and tugged his hand off. “I wouldn’t want to upset your lover nor either of mine.”
“If he knew what I knew, you’d be dead ,” Anton whispered into Takashi’s ear. Then he moved behind him to continue speaking in his other ear. “You paint a pretty picture with the way you carry yourself. The way you smile and speak. You are a very clever boy. Of course you were not content to be Nell’s errand fledgling, flitting about the globe at her whims. You certainly won’t be happy as my lover’s captive— sorry , ‘guest.’”
Anton was attempting to elicit a reaction. Takashi had played this sort of game with dozens of others over the years. Even Nell pushed him like this from time to time. He chose to say nothing.
“Perhaps this will help.” Anton lifted a hand, and the lights in the hallway snapped out. He purred, “Now, it’s you, me, and the darkness. You can admit it to me.”
“Admit what?”
“What your heart desires.” The movement of Anton’s jaw lightly brushed his skin against Takashi’s. “You knew Roger was weak, yet you threw your lot in with him anyway. Because you seek what she was never willing to give you. Power.”
“Who of our kind doesn’t?” Takashi countered.
“Perhaps,” Anton murmured. “But not like you. You don’t seek the glory or the fame. You don’t want a throne. Your greed won’t be satisfied with that.”
Takashi fortified every gap in his mental walls. He sought to seek any interference, but Anton wasn’t pressing into his mind again. That one deep glimpse the other night must have given him everything. Or have I been obvious but surrounded by fools ?
“You hoped that Roger was strong enough to claim the mantle,” Anton continued. He stepped back from Takashi. “One can hardly blame you. He has always been a charmer, but he is too weak to become a master of a coven. He is no leader, and part of you knows that. Wanted to take advantage of that.”
No , part of him declared loudly. But it was part of the lie he had been telling himself. Roger had always looked outside himself, and Takashi had seen that as an opening. When Nell had pushed them together in Taliville, Takashi was overjoyed that his chance at real freedom, and the power it would take to keep it would come with Roger. Because Roger would treat him like an equal and would need him to manage responsibilities. Roger would seek his guidance.
A spark of love had always existed between them, but Takashi had been willing to snuff it out if he had to, especially when Roger declared that Zack’s happiness came first.
Instead of shoving him away, Zack had pulled him in and kissed him. With Roger’s charm, Zack’s brilliance, and Takashi’s networking, they could become a force the world would have to reckon with. All that stood in their way was Seamus.
No. What stood in our way was Roger’s indecisiveness. He cost us everything . The thought was bitter, and Takashi hated it. He had glimpsed beneath the veneer of Roger’s bright smiles. Roger had the deepest wounds of anyone Takashi had ever known, yet he continued to live. To love. To hope.
“You are strangling the fiercest part of yourself. All for a man who isn’t worth the effort, Takashi.” Anton leaned against the window frame and looked out.
A two-person patrol was striding along their path, the slow creep of their progress speaking to the sheer size of the property. Was it supposed to be some metaphor?
But then Takashi spied a group of figures moving away from the mansion and toward the fence. Four individuals were running, with a fifth over the tallest one’s shoulder. There wasn’t enough light in the yard to perceive color, only dim grays and blacks of shadows. The tallest figure was one Takashi had seen too intimately, even in shadows, not to recognize.
“Roger?” he whispered.
“He came for you and Zack,” Anton crooned, “but he found tortured, damaged Dmitri.”
Experience enabled Takashi to keep his expression neutral rather than give in to the sad frown threatening to wash over him. Dmitri was Roger’s love-that-never-worked-out. In the 1920s, they’d been recently broken up, and Takashi had seen how the two looked at each other when they thought the other wasn’t. A hundred years later, that longing remained, though hidden further below the surface. But to choose him over Takashi? Over Zack?
Anton is at my ear, and he is running. Something must have happened between them . At least Roger had made an attempt. After two months of hardly making waves in the GLC, he hadn’t taken that long to seek them out. But this also means Roger believed that Zack was here. Seamus and Anton must have abducted him as well .
But Anton wasn’t forcing Roger to stay behind. Despite plotting against them, Seamus and Anton didn’t think of either Roger or Dmitri as a threat. Considering how quickly they kicked our asses at the hotel, they might not fear us at all . Then why keep Takashi? Why try the tact of polite hostage keepers rather than resort to the torture they were known for? Of course, torture didn’t come in one shape, and pain could be rendered to the soul as easily as the flesh, but if that was the case, they were taking a slow approach with him. What were they doing to Zack?
In theory, Takashi could leap through the window in front of him and try to reach Roger. That might be why Anton was showing his escape. This whole act was a setup to see how Takashi would react. Perhaps it wasn’t even real but rather an illusion.
Everything between vampires was a game. Analyzing strategy was how Takashi had stayed alive through the various courts he’d visited. Right now, Anton was feeling him out and applying pressure where he thought it’d have impact. He’d fallen onto the subjects of love and power. He’d called Takashi out on not being true to himself. And Takashi couldn’t. Bits of mortal morality still clung to him at the worst times. Seeking power for power’s sake, that was the mindset of a vampire.
Yet if I’d been doing that, perhaps Zack and I wouldn’t be fucked. Roger would be the coven master already, or we’d be dead and not having to run this gambit . Takashi lowered his gaze at that thought. Ambition was a fine thing in theory, but to follow it purely with intent over centuries was what led to the heartless vampires Takashi had seen across the globe.
Anton opened the window. Cool night air rushed in and enveloped Takashi as Anton stepped off to the side. “You can flee with Roger if you like. My love will be angry. He’ll probably put a price on your head. You’d have to keep a low profile, even if you left our territory. You could return to Roger’s side, continue scheming against my lover and I.
“Of course, you’d also sacrifice the opportunity sitting in front of you. After all, my lover hasn’t killed you yet. He’s sought your advice about international vampires. He values your expertise. You and Zack could have places in my lover’s court and in our home. With us, you could rise to become something more than a weak vampire’s idea man. What do you want more? A little bit of passion or to manipulate strings for centuries?”
Takashi put his hands on the windowsill. Everything Anton was saying was technically true. If he left with Roger, he would find himself in the same hole. Certainly, Seamus would have stripped Roger of his position in the coven. That he was still alive probably had more to do with the bet he and Anton had. But why let him run free unless it was either torture for him or they believed him so weak he was inconsequential? Likely both .
If Takashi stayed, he might be able to help Zack. Additionally, he’d be in a better position to study Anton and Seamus. Opportunities to shove wedges into the cracks between the two were far more possible inside the mansion rather than out in the world. What is so wrong about wanting power? About longing to be heard and appreciated by one’s peers and not just one’s lovers? Why should I fear it ?
The only thing he knew Roger could offer was his love, and that would be tainted with sadness of their separation from Zack.
The fleeing figures were nearing the fence at the edge of the property. Takashi could still drop from the window and join them in seconds. A good man would run. That’s what Roger is. He needs me to be a good vampire. I am far more useful here .
Takashi reached up and closed the window.
“I do love when I’m right,” Anton said with a smile. He put his hand on Takashi’s shoulder. “Let’s find you someone to eat.”