Chapter 38
CHAPTER 38
By the time Candide returned to the penthouse, Roger and Ezra had cleaned up the living room and had a long, detailed conversation filling each other in on the details of their lives. From the start of the conversation, Candide’s penchant for control had been obvious.
But she had been manipulating both of them.
Roger was currently struggling to contain his anger as he combed through two hundred and fifty years of memories of an individual he’d long considered one of his best friends. No, not one of. The only one outside of his own bed and mind he’d ever trusted. And she had hidden truths from him. She had intentionally left Ezra clueless about the events going on around him.
He’d let her take Kit. Thought that was what was best for them.
As much as he longed to, he couldn’t throw Kit over one shoulder and Ezra over the other and carry them out. Violating their choices would only tear what little good he might do for them to pieces. And in the case of Kit, he had no grounds. He had kept information from them, too.
If they were within listening distance, they had learned quite a bit about Roger and Ezra. Roger had held back nothing, telling Ezra everything that had happened since their meeting with Dmitri in 1989 through his decision to come to the penthouse that night.
Ezra had shared plenty in return. He’d turned one of Roger’s unintentionally abandoned donors and helped her transition both to life as a vampire and life as a woman. Savanna was currently in London, keeping an eye on Ezra’s house while she continued a romance with what Ezra asserted was a lovely young mortal who was madly in love with her. Though HT Moss had earned the coven’s ire, Savanna’s own literary career was growing completely unnoticed by Seamus and the other leadership.
They’d been sitting in companionable silence for about five minutes when Candide strode through the front door with two pets and four of her personal security with her.
Anger stirred in Roger, but it didn’t have the power that had built in him before. A cool tide in his mind would grant him the magic he’d done before, but further wrecking her home wasn’t on his agenda.
Besides, Ezra had finally put the pages of his manuscript back in order. It’d be rude to throw them around again.
“You’ll want to dismiss your security,” Roger said hoarsely. He dared to lock his gaze with Candide’s. She was colder than ever. That had always been her way, and he usually didn’t care. But now he wondered if she had built a wall between them long ago, that he had never seen the true her.
Don’t grow paranoid. Don’t be like him. Don’t hurt those you love . Roger dropped the invitation to the debut party on top of Ezra’s manuscript. “I don’t think you want them to hear what I might say.”
“It seems my abundance of caution is unnecessary. You are dismissed.” Candide turned to her nearest pet, kissed her cheek, and motioned forward. “The two of you as well.”
The six mortals departed. The four security guards left the penthouse while the two pets went farther in.
Candide’s heels clicked against the hardwood as she otherwise silently walked across the room. With an effortless grace, she sank into the wingback chair that Roger had once owned. She folded her hands together, her elbows on either armrest, and held her head high.
Did she feel the same sense of power he had from it? Or was she, like him, putting on airs in a vain hope to convince herself that she had any control over her own life?
“Well?” She lifted an eyebrow. “How shall we proceed? Shall you drive a stake through me for my supposed misdeeds?”
“God, no,” Ezra muttered. “And people think I’m the dramatic one.”
Candide tilted her head. “I’m being dramatic ? Roger practically declares war on the coven, robs Seamus, and then forces his way into my private sanctuary. Then I find the two of you sitting side by side like a pair of judges ready to determine my fate.”
“I don’t want to hurt you, Candide,” Roger said.
She remained perfectly still.
“I don’t.”
“You bade me to send away my security so that you could speak. What would you have to say?” she demanded.
Ezra leapt to his feet. “My God, this is Roger . What’s gotten into you?”
Candide looked away.
Her mind was a fortress, but Roger spied telltale signs of where she was covering her emotions the hardest. He knew the touch of that exact mental shield. She was more than obscuring the truth. She was actively hiding something.
His stomach dropped to the ground floor. The Arctic wasn’t as cold as his heart was now. “How long have you known what happened to him?”
She dragged in a ragged breath. Small beads of tears formed at the corner of her eyes, but Roger didn’t trust her display of emotion. Her mental walls were still formidable. Everything she was doing could be an act. “Since the annual meeting.”
Christmas. Three weeks ago. She’d known that long. She’d known that he was ready to tear the world apart to find his love, and she’d said nothing .
“ Candide !” Ezra shoved his hand through his fiery red hair. “How could you keep this from him? From me ?”
“You and I had an arrangement,” Candide replied. She swept her gaze to Roger. “I didn’t know what it might do to you, mon cher.”
“Don’t call me that right now,” Roger growled. “What’s become of Takashi? Have you seen either of them?”
An agonizing eternity passed, but Candide finally spoke. “I’ve seen them both. Zack multiple times.”
“You knew they’d been kidnapped, and you’ve seen them, and you didn’t say anything to Roger?” Ezra put his hands on his hips. “Love, that is just cruel.”
“Cruel would have been telling him what I have seen,” Candide snapped. She glared at Ezra rather than look Roger’s way. “They were there for the annual meeting. Seamus introduced Zack as his son . When, in all our years, has he ever called a fledgling his offspring?”
Roger wiped his hand down his face. Words failed him.
Cold emanated from Candide, and her eyes shifted to a shade of bloodred. Her rage was palpable, and the air around her began to shimmer with a soft red as well. Her aura was visible —to Roger, at least. When he glanced at Ezra, he didn’t seem to notice anything different. Though anger colored her, there was a shadowy presence up against her skin. The mystery of what he was beholding was nearly enough to distract Roger.
Her voice drew him back. Her tone was sharp, like a wind-honed icicle. “You have forced your way into my home and assumed I have misled you. I was protecting you both and would have told you everything in time. Because I was not immediately forthright, you want to accuse me of ill motives. Fine. I have weathered worse.”
“I came to ask for your help,” Roger said, his voice rough. He had been dragged over jagged rocks and left to dry in a blazing sun. The wounds in his soul were gaping, ugly things, and he could sense they would only grow wider. I must hold myself together. “I tried to be polite about it.”
“You could have called.”
“I texted you.”
Without breaking her glare, Candide snapped her fingers. A moment later, Dryden stepped into the archway. She issued a command for her phone, and he brought it. She raised her eyebrow as she examined it. “I apologize for missing that.”
“You were too busy planning a party for Seamus’s captives,” Roger said tightly.
“You say they were kidnapped, but I have seen no evidence,” Candide declared. “Zack is Seamus’s sireling, and he is a formidable one at that. The second name on that invitation, Kathleen, is Takashi’s freshly risen fledgling. Anton is toting the girl as his own, but I know the difference in their scents. She smells like Takashi, not Anton. You grow suspicious of me, who has been your friend for centuries, without stopping to think that your dear lovers may be the traitors.”
Roger had seen the gut punch comment coming, and yet he sucked in a deep, hurt-filled breath at the words being said aloud. Even after centuries, some mortal habits remained.
“We also know what Seamus is like,” Roger said hollowly. A thin hope was keeping him tethered to reality rather than losing himself to the abyss of heartbreak. “He forces others to bend to his will and appear to enjoy being with him. We have behaved that way ourselves many times.”
Candide softened, a gentleness crossing her features as she unclenched her jaw. “I know, mon cher. They may be in that Hell, but you should harden yourself in case they are not what you’ve built of them.”
Zack. Takashi. Liars? Roger didn’t want to believe that of them. He had been with them for weeks. Had shared a bed and hopes and dreams and scars and wounds. He had held Zack through his pain and turned to Takashi with his own. The best nights of his life were ones with them.
Reflexively, Roger’s gaze turned toward the painting hanging on the wall ahead of him. He had believed he’d known James more intimately than Zack and Takashi. They had shared so much, too. And they’d believed themselves deeply in love. Yet Roger had never fully opened himself to James. When James asked him to stand by him, Roger had caved, and James had shown a side of himself that Roger hadn’t seen. Their love had withered, and Roger had blamed himself.
But had it been entirely his doing? How well had he known James or any of his lovers? Just as Roger never shared himself, he never dug deeply into them. Because if I didn’t know them, their leaving couldn’t hurt as much .
That hadn’t been his approach with Zack and Takashi … had it? Could they have been fooling him?
“I have to see them,” Roger whispered. Brokenly, he spun toward Candide. “Will you help me?”
“No,” Candide said sternly.
“Bollocks.” Ezra held up the invitation. “This debut party is at the Chateau. You can sneak Roger in and out, and no one will be the wiser.”
Candide hardened further. “‘An intimate gathering’ is a lie. Seamus has ordered the Chateau closed to all but the invitees that evening, and he has representatives from other covens on the guest list. This will be a gathering of the most important vampires and their representatives in North America with a slew of international vampires as well. I will not risk your safety or the safety of the others that I love to play friar in Roger’s Romeo and Romeo and Romeo production.”
She’s trying to protect me, too . Roger held his hand to his lips and pushed his renewing anger back to its depths. Though she was as stone-faced as ever, she wasn’t being cruel. Candide had relied on her practicality the way he had used his charm. They were survivors, all of them.
Ezra puffed up.
Roger motioned for him to wait. Then he slipped out of his seat and went on one knee before Candide. “Not that long ago, you hoped I had a greater plan than just killing Seamus and Anton. I came here tonight to ask for your help in my war against the coven. I robbed Seamus of every cent I could, and yet, the whole of our coven doesn’t seem to know anything has changed. But you mentioned it.”
Warily, Candide met his gaze. “I know. You bankrupted the coven’s main fund as well. I receive a stipend from them for my operating costs, which did not come. You’ve made this year much harder, mon cher.”
“A wise woman like you will have the resources necessary to keep her establishment afloat,” Roger replied.
“True.”
Roger held his hand out toward her.
She frowned but placed her hand on his.
Rather than attempting to read her, he released his own tense mental walls. He allowed his fears and anger to swell, not like a raging storm but the inevitable tide within. His desires were there, too, on display for her to take in. “Even if I cannot see them, I will continue my war.”
She leaned forward. With her free hand, she pushed one of Roger’s short strands of hair away from his face. Then she pressed her forehead to his. “Oh, you love them so, mon cher.”
“I do.” He tightened his hold. “Now, you have always been the most driven of us. I want my next blow to him to hurt. Guide my blade, Candide. Tell me where to strike.”
In silence, they stayed where they were. Roger danced through a plethora of memories, each of her and their friendship. She was right. She was someone he’d trusted for so long. Yet part of him did worry that her ambition would ruin him.
“If you are looking to break his heart, you won’t. He doesn’t have one.” Candide clutched Roger’s hand. “If you are looking to break his pride, you know what he loves.”
“His mansion,” Roger murmured. “Candide, if I am to strike there?—”
“Then speaking to your men may be of help.” Candide leaned back. “You have a point. And a need. I’ll arrange a meeting for you.”
“Thank you.”
“Thank me if your heart remains whole afterwards. Zack has changed.”
No doubt he had. Roger kissed Candide’s fingertips and then rose. He kissed her and Ezra on their cheeks before leaving the penthouse.
In the elevator, he collapsed against the wall, his strength leaving for the moment. Zack. A vampire. The consequence of Roger’s actions had led to Seamus hurting more people. Always more and more and more. And some new power was within Roger’s reach, something he had never considered before.
Burning down Seamus’s house would certainly be a statement. If he could do it with his own arcane abilities? Seamus wouldn’t be able to hide that. People would talk about the castaway fledgling who dared to ruin his “master’s” home. With international vampires in town, word would quickly spread across the world.
As the elevator reached the ground floor, Roger recovered and smoothed out his jacket. His ragged psyche would heal. He would see Zack and Takashi again in a week’s time.
Until then, he had an attack to plan.