Chapter 42
CHAPTER 42
The night was wearing thin, and yet Zack struggled to stay in bed with Takashi. Being with him was great, but Zack couldn’t shake what Takashi had told him.
Nell wanted him dead.
Nell had been the one to betray Roger and arranged a deal with a fey to put him to sleep.
How far did Nell’s reach extend? Josefina clearly had to be working with her lover, right? Had Kit or Carver been in on her scheme? What about Blake? Fuck, he hadn’t spoken to Blake since the night before the Winter’s Grand Ball. He had no idea if she knew he was a vampire or not. Had her neighbor’s cat given birth yet? Why was that where his mind went?
Because it’s easier to want a kitten heist than to think my role models are the enemy . Slowly, Zack slid his hand through Takashi’s hair. After getting cleaned up, Takashi had quickly dropped off to sleep. Zack wasn’t sure if it was the late hour or that he still wasn’t allowed much fresh blood. If Katie was bound to Takashi like Zack was to Seamus, then she could be taxing his system, too.
I can’t lose him . Zack curled around Takashi and held him close. No one was going to save them. Except for Takashi, he was utterly alone. Roger was becoming more of a memory. He missed him, especially in the lonely dark, but they’d spent weeks apart. Plus, Roger had thrown away the script. Bankrupting Seamus and the coven had never been in any of the plans they discussed.
But then, he barely knew what to do while stuck in his own shoes. He had no idea what he’d do in Roger’s place.
Come downstairs , Seamus said in his head.
Seamus would call for him when he least wanted to move. Zack clung to Takashi. I don’t want to talk .
I can tell you need to, Zackery. Come here. Please .
The please threw him off. Seamus nearly sounded sincere, but the monster wasn’t capable of it. He’d almost killed Anton without stopping to consider that he didn’t have a motive for the theft. Just because Anton was the only one that he’d known with the power to shadow walk, he’d leapt to a conclusion and resorted to violence. And he supposedly loved Anton.
What would he do if he knew what Zack had been up to? What was he hoping to find in the library? The answer to how to unlink them had to be there, somewhere.
Don’t make me make you come down here, Seamus said.
Sadness burst into fury because that was far more useful an emotion. Zack sprang from the bed and, using the magnetic pull to Seamus, rushed through the mansion to find him sitting on that obnoxious patio. He had a bottle of wine and two freaking wineglasses again. Despite the snow on the ground beyond the patio, Seamus was dressed like he expected to go to a Sunday brunch any minute. He had a light blue polo on and gray slacks, none of the material designed for winter weather. Beside his chair was Zack’s old backpack.
Zack was only in his sleep pants, but the cold January wind didn’t bother him. He clenched his fists. “Here. I showed up. Can I go to bed now?”
“I’m your father, Zackery,” Seamus said, empathy flowing in his voice. “I wish you would talk to me.”
With a glare, Zack fell back on his abilities and sought what Seamus was actually feeling. Rather than the journal-like visualization he’d stumbled into more and more frequently, all he read from Seamus was like computer pop-ups. The word and flare of wanting to care for Zack was there, but it didn’t have the substance that Takashi’s wants had.
“I’ve seen what you are capable of doing to your ‘loved’ ones,” Zack said coldly. “Anton may act like nothing’s happened, but I will not forget.”
A flicker of regret crossed Seamus’s face as he tightened, but then he relaxed. Calmly, he opened the bottle of wine and poured two glasses. “I believed that the love of my life of over eight hundred years had betrayed me. I lost my temper.”
Zack folded his arms over his chest. If he couldn’t trust Nell, then there was no fucking way he could trust Seamus. But he sounded so proud of me in that journal entry …
The monster wants you to be a monster , the Cal voice said. Why are you so determined to make that a good thing?
After taking a sip of wine, Seamus said, “I didn’t ask you down here for another three-round fight about right and wrong. I sensed your distress, son. You need someone to talk to.”
“I should talk to you?” Zack sneered. “You fucking murdered me, Father . You took me away from everyone.”
“Did I?” Seamus reached into Zack’s backpack and withdrew his journal. “Because the boy in these pages had no one.”
Zack snatched his leather journal from Seamus’s hand. “I know you only read this to get in my head.”
“Takashi read it, and you consider him your lover,” Seamus replied. “Anyway, that journal isn’t the clearest picture of you. You weren’t terribly honest with yourself either.”
A tightness spread across Zack’s chest. “Yes I was.”
Seamus leaned forward. A softness filled his muddled blue and red eyes. “You know you weren’t. On the surface, the words you wrote were about your experiences, but I took the time to understand your meaning and the things you were not saying, even to yourself. Your mortal family left you behind because you made one calculation they didn’t like. Then they abandoned you again after Cal attacked you . You yearned for Roger’s love, Josefina’s acceptance—you have sought to prove yourself over and over. You have never had to earn my love, Zackery.”
Snarling, Zack stepped into Seamus’s space. When Seamus leaned back, Zack slapped a hand on either armrest and growled in his face. “You killed me.”
No flicker of anger overcame Seamus. Not even their mental connection gave Zack anything other than Seamus’s want to comfort him. After a beat, Seamus said calmly, “I know you well enough to say you have armed yourself with your anger because you are frightened. You are terrified by what it would mean to trust me.”
“You make humans into slaves and hurt people for the fucking fun of it,” Zack snapped.
“You believe that if you do the wrong thing, I will hurt you? Your lover?” Seamus asked.
“Isn’t that why you’ve kept him around?”
“You deserve to come into your power with those who will nurture your gifts,” Seamus replied, a note of fatherly warmth in his voice. “Takashi is a worldly vampire who has been helping you bloom in your new life. I wager he’s even given you ideas.”
“Ideas,” Zack repeated slowly. Does he know? Shit. Can’t think about it .
Lightly, Seamus put a hand on the center of Zack’s chest and nudged him back out of his personal space. “Yes, I know you’re hoping to kill me and claim the coven. Yet you and Takashi live. I allow Takashi’s spawn to live.”
“Why?” Zack asked numbly.
“Because you are my son, and I love you.” Seamus picked up his glass of wine and gestured to the glass and empty seat beside him. “Besides, life is nothing without a little ambition.”
Zack sat down in the seat. “You’re not pissed at me?”
“I don’t spend this much time on anyone who annoys me, Zackery. Your journal makes it clear how goal oriented you can be. The ambition of taking the coven directs some of your anger at me into fuel rather than festering into depression.” Seamus sipped his wine. “I hope, with time, you won’t hate me. With the kingdom I am building, I will need reliable vampires alongside me.”
“You’re counting on me to be part of the foundation of this kingdom, aren’t you?” Zack said carefully. A new generation .
“You’ve been in my journals,” Seamus replied.
The cold winter wind didn’t compare to the ice in Zack’s veins. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Seamus withdrew his cell phone from his pocket and flicked open its screen. After a moment, he set it down on the table between them. A string of text notifications was on the screen. Each was just a date and time stamp with the word “Opened.”
“Takashi is clever, avoiding the switch in the desk like he did. But he either didn’t account for modern technologies or decided to risk exposure for the want of gaining new information.” Seamus took the phone back and put it in his pocket. “Suffice it to say, every square inch of the main floor and the dungeon have discreet cameras as well. I know where you went. I know what you saw.”
“That was weeks ago. You haven’t said anything,” Zack said. “Haven’t done anything.”
“Just as you haven’t thrown a single fit about your cousin being locked in a cell or used what you read as reason to disobey me. You’ve thrown yourself into research, which I can admire. Your intelligence is worth more than that silver blade of yours, but you are centuries behind your foes.” Seamus nudged the glass of wine toward him.
“You’ve researched all those people. Why choose me?” Zack asked. His voice felt like a ghost in his throat.
“I was honest with you, Zackery. Rare is the soul who not only understands what it means to drink my blood and be reborn but also pulls for that source. You have only just begun to settle into your new powers. I am thrilled to see how you will grow.”
“Who is ‘Grandmother’? What have you been stealing from her?”
“You are not ready for those secrets.”
“Does it have something to do with the rituals you’ve been using your sirelings for? What exactly do you and Anton do?” Zack asked.
Seamus set his wineglass onto the table between them with a definitive clink. He folded his hands over his lap and held Zack’s gaze. The mottled red and blue swirled together and deepened into a maroon while the whites of his eyes became pitch-black. Ice coated the table between them and frosted the surfaces of the glasses and the bottle, soon coating the metal as well. His fangs were longer, his nails sharper.
The bond between them cinched, like a rope that lost all its slack in an instant, burning as it went. The tugs of Zack’s dagger and the hook to Phyrull were all the more obvious as they pulled in other directions than Seamus. The air was scorching in Zack’s nose, down his throat, and he ached to feed with a desperation he’d only ever felt in bed.
Underneath all of that was Seamus’s hunger for Zack’s affection, for his loyalty. And the only ease of pressure was the pinprick of Seamus’s love for him.
“You are not ready, Zackery,” Seamus said firmly.
Then the instant was over. Seamus’s eyes were the same as they’d been a moment before. The ice remained on the glasses as the winter air could keep it cold. The suffocating hunger in Zack’s belly dimmed.
“You’re not … you’re not upset that Takashi and I went snooping,” Zack managed.
“I would have been more disappointed if the two of you had wasted your opportunities.”
“You’ve spent centuries crushing your intelligent offspring.”
“Candide would beg to differ. Besides, I am finally prepared to change the order of things.” Seamus poured more wine into his glass. “I want you to be among the vampires at my side well into the future.”
“What about Takashi?”
“I suppose.”
“But not Roger?”
“If your heart wants Roger, perhaps we’ll be able to arrange something. A house outside the city where you can keep him and he can remain out of the politics he’s never had a taste for,” Seamus said. “However, dawn is coming, and I didn’t drag you down here so you could doubt me all over again. I’d like to ease whatever was burdening your mind.”
Zack stared out into the dark. Beyond the iron fence were trees, and past that, the great wide world. He didn’t want to run for that fence anymore, and that change had nothing to do with the bond between him and Seamus. Where would he go if he left the mansion? He had no idea where Roger was or what he was planning. His mortal family would want to kill him on sight. Was he supposed to hide out in Blake’s house? With her parents? Go on the run with Takashi? Sure, they might be able to get away to some far corner of the globe, but what was he supposed to do then? And would any corner be far enough if Seamus’s ambitions went unchecked?
Seamus knew about what he was goals and didn’t give a damn. Of course, the bastard could be hiding his anger. He could turn on Zack in an instant. He’d done it to Anton. This was all manipulation. It had to be.
But Zack was so fucking tired.
He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, and hung his head. His hair had barely grown in the three weeks since his rebirth. Since his last haircut had been well before his death, he should have been irritated that his hair was getting too long. Instead, he combed his hand through it and found it the perfect length. Rude that it didn’t change with me .
Slowly, Zack dragged the glass of wine off the table. Staring into its depths didn’t bring forth any solution. I could start a war .
One’s already here , his rational voice declared. According to what Takashi had said, that voice was right.
Zack’s mortal days were behind him. He needed to focus on his immortal nights. Straying from Seamus wasn’t the answer. He couldn’t keep his eyes on someone out of sight.
Finally, Zack brought his head up and relaxed into the seat. “If you want my trust, you won’t harm Takashi after I tell you everything.”
“I won’t promise that until I know what he’s done,” Seamus said. “If he’s been acting against?—”
“What he’s done has brought to light a conspiracy,” Zack replied. “And I don’t need your promise, because if you take what I say and use it as an excuse to hurt him, then I will know that every word you have told me was a fucking lie.”
Seamus stilled, and then a small smile of pride crossed his lips. He motioned for Zack to speak.
“Roger didn’t disappear willingly from your coven,” Zack said. “He doesn’t know this yet, but Nell worked out a deal with an Unseelie to put him in a coma. I was the one to wake him back in August. Yes, we began to plot your demise from the moment I met him. But he wasn’t very … driven.”
“Acting on violent impulses has never been Roger’s strong suit, until recently perhaps.” Seamus sipped his wine.
Zack swirled his in his glass. “Right. So Nell’s had it out for your coven for a while. I mean, we’re talking a decades-long plan.”
“One you foiled,” Seamus said.
Zack nodded.
“Mm, and now that you’re my sireling, she wants you dead because it would weaken me and therefore make me easier to kill,” Seamus continued.
Surprised, Zack sat up a little more and frowned at him. “How did you?—”
“It’s a common enough conceit. She’s not the only one trying. Why do you think we’re having the debut party? Everyone who wants my coven for themselves will see who else is thinking of doing the same thing. They’ll learn who they need to eliminate for their own plans to succeed, which should keep them preoccupied for a decade or so. At least long enough you’re your strengths will grow.” Seamus chuckled once under his breath. “Using Roger, though, that was clever of her.”
“I thought high school was full of drama,” Zack grumbled.
“Throw enough sentient minds together, and there will always be dramatics.”
Zack snorted and then took a tiny sip of his wine. It tingled on the tip of his tongue. The taste of rich berries filled his mouth, and the calm of a long winter night washed over him. Voicing the problem plaguing his mind had helped; this particular blend of fey wine soothed him further.
“Why did you think I’d be angry about that?” Seamus said.
“Because of how Takashi found out.” Zack focused his inner eye on Seamus, keeping his senses peeled for any sign that he was angry. “He made a deal with Anton when he turned Katie. A brand-new phone for the girl.”
“Ooo, he is more diabolical than I gave him credit for,” Seamus said with another laugh.
“You sound pleased.”
“When Takashi came here in the 1920s, he was cute, but meek. He has grown in the last hundred years.” Seamus tapped his wineglass and set it down. Then he leaned on the armrest closer to Zack. “Do you trust that he’s as loyal to you as he claims? Or will he conspire with Nell?”
“He was horrified at her command.”
“You’re certain?”
Zack took a long drink of his wine and sat it down. “He fed me a little of his blood so that I wouldn’t doubt him. He loves me.”
Seamus touched Zack’s shoulder and squeezed him comfortingly. “That’s good.”
“What are we going to do about Nell?” Zack whispered. “If she has her way …”
“She’s a problem for another night, sweet boy.” Seamus stood, taking his glass with him. He squeezed Zack’s shoulder and leaned down to kiss the top of his head. “Take your glass and the bottle, go see if your lover’s awake enough to enjoy the wine with you.”
The weight of the journal on his lap bothered Zack. All of his former hopes and dreams and problems were written out in the leather book his mortal sister had given him. But he had been reborn. He was different, now. Not the scared, angry boy. Confused, out of his depths, but that wasn’t the same at all.
He lifted it up for Seamus to take. “Could this belong to the library?”
Seamus took it back. “I think it’d be a fine addition. Now come along inside.”
Zack grabbed the bottle of fey wine and his glass. They parted ways in the long hall. The mansion’s stillness was no longer the cool touch of a grave waiting to be filled. The silence was there, and the solitude, but that brought a sort of piece.
But when he reached his suite, the loneliness faded away. The game controllers were out of place from where he and Takashi had left them the other night in the living room. Clothes were strewn about in the bedroom, and a stack of books was on the corner of his desk. Takashi was asleep in the bed, his body utterly relaxed against the bed.
Zack took the bottle and his glass over to the desk. After flipping on the soft-glowing desk lamp, he quietly dug through the drawers until he rediscovered the slick, onyx leather journal he’d discovered on his first night. He took out a pen and began to write about his new life. One that was full of mystery and intrigue and wasn’t so awful at all …