18. Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Eighteen
London
I t’s not long before I’m in James’s arms. He pulls me up and places me on a plane seat, his hand firmly gripping my chin as he studies my eyes before his gaze moves down, inspecting the wounds that mar my body.
He frowns and looks at Jade. “Should we go after him?”
Her eyes are blank as she peers down at me, then flicks her gaze outside. “No point. He’s gone. We’ll look for him tomorrow.” Her head tilts in my direction. “Why were you here? With Ezra?” A simple, pointed question. No greetings or niceties, although I suppose I don’t deserve either. “And where’s Micah?” I can’t help but try to examine the girl looking back at me and how hardened she looks.
It gives me pause.
I swallow hard, barely grabbing onto words, unable to form a proper sentence. My mind is finally catching up with the fact I’m with someone safe. At least, I think she’s safe. I’m not sure about anything anymore. There is a subtle wildness in Jade, a husk deep in her eyes.
I can’t imagine what the last few months were like for her… What it would have been like living in a shelter made of snow and sticks. While Micah and I were safe and warm, I deliberately avoided thinking about it—it was easier that way.
Jade crosses her arms and awaits my answer .
“Micah left. He… left me alone to go find you,” I finally say, keeping my gaze down. I can’t bear to look at them, should they see how truly broken I am. “After a few days, when he didn’t return, I escaped and followed him. That’s when I ran into Nigel and Ezra while trying to find my way back to you. Micah was just here, and he’s with Naomi.” I can’t hide the bitterness in my voice. He must have slipped out so quickly if they didn’t even see him.
“What do you mean, escaped?” James asks.
Shit . Did I really say that?
He kneels in front of me. “Did Micah hurt you, London?”
My breath hitches. How do I even respond? “He… he was trying to protect me.” Even after everything that happened, my natural instinct is to protect him.
I peer up at James. He looks different, too, much older than he is. His sandy hair is longer, but he’s still clean-cut, unlike Micah with his sexy ruggedness or Ezra and Nigel with their feral-like appearances. James seems… steady, normal even.
“You’re safe now, London,” James says calmly, pulling a strand of hair out of my eyes—hair that was stuck to my forehead and caked with dirt and blood. “I’m not going to let you go near either of them again.”
Is that what I want? Protection from Micah? Is that what I need?
James isn’t the fondest of Micah. He respects him, yes, but there may be more to it. Something that has to do with me. He notices my bandage and grabs my hand, and I wince as he holds it gently.
His brows knit together. “Did Micah do this to you?” He’s piecing it all together—the string of darkness that is my bond to Micah. I respond by shedding a single tear. All my intense emotions manifest into one tiny tear. No others come to join it.
“Fuck,” he mutters. “I’m going to kill Micah for doing this to you. He should have protected you. If you had been with me, I wouldn’t have let you out of my sight.”
I don’t respond. Instead, my stomach twists, the hunger taking over. I can’t think of anything else, let alone defending my boyfriend, who doesn’t deserve to be defended. “Do you have any food? Anything? Please, I just need a little.”
I’m not above begging, as I’ve learned, and I haven’t been accustomed to going hungry.
James nods and pulls out a piece of cooked meat. I grab it from him and shove it into my mouth, eating it like a vicious animal, baring my teeth and ripping through it before he can take it back.
James and Jade watch me as I finish, then lay my head back and close my eyes. James pulls me up. “Come on, let’s get you out of here. We will deal with Ezra later. Can you walk?”
I pause, uncertain of how this will be received, my heart pounding in my chest. How should I address the fact that Ezra, despite his shortcomings, is also in need of rescue? That he’s a lost soul but has the potential for redemption.
I stand, then swiftly descend into James’s muscular arms as my legs barely have any feeling left in them and my muscles are completely wasted.
“Ezra’s scared… and he’s alone. He saved me from Nigel. He didn’t want to do this to me; I know he didn’t. He acted out when he saw Naomi and Micah.” I had him under control until he saw her with him. At least, it’s evidence that he’s still with me and that his sanity isn’t completely gone.
“We can’t leave yet,” Jade interrupts. “We haven’t gotten what we came here for. Believe it or not, there are other people on this island besides Micah and Ezra. And we didn’t exactly come here to save you.”
With confusion etched on my face, I look at Jade, who is scowling. If they weren’t here for me, then why are they here?
“Ollie’s missing,” Jade says curtly. “He went missing last night. He didn’t come back to the camp, so we came looking for him.”
I narrow my eyes, leaning on James for support to stand. “And Nathan?” Only now am I realizing that James not being with either of his best friends is strange .
“Nathan didn’t make it, London,” James says. “He died months ago.”
I gasp, pulling my hand to my mouth. “I’m sorry… I didn’t know.”
Jade stares out the window, a flash of something in her eyes, her brows drawn. Jade is tormented, just like I am.
Anger, fear, rage, hunger.
A mix of emotions.
“Where was Nigel during all this? You said you were with him,” she asks.
“Unfortunately, yes, I was,” I mutter. “But I don’t know where he’s staying. It’s in a cave north of here. That’s all I know. Ezra protected me from him. Nigel’s… unhinged .”
She runs her hand through her hair, surely thinking about Nigel. They were best friends for years, and I wonder if she knew what he was the whole time.
Jade signals to James. “Fine, we’ll go back tonight and let London get some rest away from here. We can continue looking for Ollie tomorrow.”
We start to walk into the mist of the night, James keeping close to both of us. He’s very strong—very much the hockey captain he once was. “Let’s go back and drop her off. We can come back out tomorrow.”
As we walk, I steal glances at Jade, hoping to catch a glimpse of the girl I once knew. From what I can tell, she’s gone. She steps ahead, confident and withdrawn. I stay close to James, my muscles aching like my body might cease working at any moment.
“We saw Micah,” Jade finally says, cutting the tense silence other than the sound of our footsteps against the rock. “When he left you, he came to see us. We don’t know what happened to him after that. Ollie went missing a few days later. We’ve been searching for Ollie on and off for two days.”
“How are the others?” I ask, leaning into James to take the pressure off my feet. “Serena? Thomas?”
“Alive,” she says with her back still turned to me.
James stays behind with me, supporting me as I walk slowly. Jade keeps her distance and continues to move forward. I appreciate that she’s not pressuring me for anything at the moment, but I’m mentally preparing myself for the conversation we will need to have. I will have to explain my grief and pain and why Micah and I had to leave the group. Of course, only if she wants to talk about it. I can’t help but feel like I lost her, too.
James grabs my arm to keep me steady and squeezes me. “She’ll come around,” he whispers.
Am I actually welcome back there? Do I even deserve for her to come around?
I’m too tired to care. I can barely keep my eyes open as we walk, just grateful to get away from the dead and the stench behind us and back to a place I once considered home.
My eyes tear up, and I last about five more minutes before I collapse and James has to carry me the rest of the way. I doze in his arms, happy to have someone warm and comforting. I’ve always felt safe with James.
“We’re here,” he whispers, and my eyelids flutter open. A fire is blazing in the meadow, and two people rise when we approach the clearing.
The only two people left here other than us.
James leads me straight to the shelter—Micah’s shelter, the one he constructed for us to live in. Thomas and Serena fix their gaze on me, their silence palpable. As we pass by Thomas, I can’t help but glance at the stump on his wrist, illuminated by the flickering firelight and cleverly concealed beneath his sleeve. Catching me staring, he swiftly withdraws it from my line of sight. I don’t say a word to any of them and crawl into what I used to consider my home. It still smells like Micah. It still feels like he’s here and should be here.
I miss him… so fucking much.
Jade crawls in with me, and James stays outside. “Get some rest,” she says. “When you wake up, we can talk.”
I nod, appreciative of the warm and comfortable bed made of pine boughs and a crap load of soft blankets from the airplane. “This is where James and Serena sleep now,” she informs me. “So we will have to figure something out tomorrow. ”
I’m sure Serena is thrilled to have me back. I’m not here to cause trouble, but this will never be Serena’s home. It will always belong to Micah and me; it’s where we first connected.
James pops his head in, his face soft. “I’m heading back out first thing tomorrow. You will be okay, London. The group might be pissed at you right now, but no one is going to let you get hurt. Get some rest and sleep, alright? Thomas and Serena are staying up. They are taking the night shift.”
I should have chosen James. Day one… I had connected with him before the twins completely consumed me. He would have been easier. But that’s not where my heart pulled me.
“Where are you going?” I ask as I lay my head down to get more comfortable, wishing he wouldn’t leave so soon.
“I’m going to get some sleep, and then I’m going to find Ollie. But I’m going alone. Thomas will stay here and watch over you girls.”
I whip my head up. “James,” I whisper, hoping the others can’t hear me, even though they are close. He turns back to look at me, ever so stoic as he always is. I hope Serena treats him well.
“If you see Ezra, don’t hurt him. I think…”
“What is it, London?”
“I think Ezra has paid enough for what he did… There are pieces of himself still inside him. He opened up to me a bit. He protected me from Nigel in the best way he could. He’s hurting and in a lot of pain, and I think he’s terrified. Please don’t kill him… He needs forgiveness.”
He nods, his baby blue eyes still full of light. “What do you want me to do if I see him?”
I pause for only a moment. “I want you to bring him back here.”
He lets out a sigh. What I am asking him to do is hard, knowing Ezra won’t be well received here. “Okay, I’ll do that for you. I’ll bring him back. And if I run into Nigel?”
I flick my eyes up at him. I want Nigel dead, but he’s proving to have nine lives. And considering he’s the cause of all my torment, I don’t want him hurting one more person I care about. “If you see Nigel, promise me you will run. Don’t interact with him, don’t engage, just fucking run.” From what I’ve witnessed and experienced the past couple of days, Nigel is the most dangerous person I’ve ever encountered. He’s turned into something none of us understand, and every single person left alive has good reason to be terrified.