39. You Can’t Escape
YOU CAN’T ESCAPE
Axel
Sweat dribbled down my nape, vanishing into my t-shirt, and light tremors shook my hand as I plugged in the flash drive I stole from Susanna Michaels’ file to my laptop.
This information could connect Micha’s friend to that horrible night.
I could be responsible for the death of not one but two innocent people.
Would I be able to tell Micah anything if that was the case? He might want to strangle me in my sleep, and I couldn’t blame him.
The green lamp on the corner of the old wooden table buzzed and flickered as the rumble of thunder sounded outside Stonewall U’s library.
Since Killian had been brooding in our room all day because Lexi was out with Cordi, I opted to finally dig through this thing in a quiet nook in the back of the library.
My finger hovered over the mouse, reluctant to open this damn drive at all. Once I did, I could never go back.
A buzz in my pocket made me jump, and I cursed, grabbing my phone. My throat tightened when a text from Lorelei popped up.
We hadn’t seen each other since we returned from the disastrous weekend at my parents’ house a few days ago. What the hell were we thinking hooking up that last night? We’d already pushed it the night before, but we had to get wasted and nearly have sex.
I would have fucked her if we hadn’t passed out after I came down her throat. She swallowed my cum down with a moan and then licked her lips with a smile, one that wasn’t fake or forced. Blondie had enjoyed every moment my cock was stuffed in her mouth.
Just thinking of that smile had fire pumping through my veins. The images of her naked flashing through my mind only fanned the flames. She’d tasted better than warm caramel melting over my tongue, and I might already be addicted to her sweet flavor.
Stop thinking about it!
I shook the dangerous thoughts from my head and read the text.
Lorelei: I lost one of my diamond earrings. Could you check your car?
Actually, I’d already found the stud but didn’t have the courage to face her and return it yet. She’d also dropped a tank top that I scooped up and shoved into my dresser. Had I pulled it out and sniffed it a couple dozen times like a fucking weirdo?
Yep.
Me: I’ll look.
Lorelei: Thanks.
Knots fisted in my chest. Perfect. Our texts were now down to two words or fewer. This was my fault. I was the one who decided not to stay on the couch, and I was the one who initiated everything.
The next morning when we woke up naked in my bed, my dick hard and ready for more, Lorelei could hardly look at me.
She jumped in the shower like she had to wash me off before the panic set in.
The most awkward breakfast of my life followed because we had to pretend to be a loving couple while cringing at every forced touch.
We both deserved Oscars at this point because not even my family picked up on the tension between us.
My phone vibrated with another text from Lorelei, and dread wrapped around me.
Lorelei: Could you give me a ride to the hospital tomorrow after your afternoon practice? I’m supposed to meet with the head nurse about Zeta’s volunteer program.
I groaned and rubbed my temples, cursing myself for offering Lorelei rides after her car had been taken away.
Me: No problem. I’ll be at the Zeta house at 3pm.
Lorelei: Thanks.
Her usual smiley faces and heart emojis didn’t accompany her words, but bubbles suddenly appeared as she wrote more. Maybe she realized she’d forgotten them.
Lorelei: What are you doing?
Me: Studying some football plays in my room. Coach has been on my ass about memorizing these.
The lie left a bad taste in my mouth, and I regretted hitting the send button moments after.
Lorelei: I’ll let you get back to studying then.
Still, no emojis.
I sighed and set my phone on the table, opening the removable drive before I could stall anymore. A video file was the only thing on it. After shoving in my earbuds, I reluctantly pressed play and wiped my clammy hands on my shorts.
All the blood drained from my face, and if I hadn’t gripped the edge of the table, I would have fallen out of the uncomfortable wooden chair.
The video, probably taken on a cellphone, showed the bluffs under a clear sky and a million stars. Familiar sounds echoed, and it took me a moment to realize this wasn’t one of my nightmares. The voices and laughter had goosebumps rising on my flesh.
“Don’t be such a pussy.” The cruelty in my tone made acid collect at the back of my throat, but the version of me on the video just laughed and took a deep pull from the vodka bottle. “You want to be like us, right?”
Peter’s sickly pallor was visible in the video. The kid could barely stand, and I just kept pushing him.
“You are such an idiot for pledging a frat, Peter.”
My heartbeats stumbled all over the place at the feminine voice on the video. Susanna had to be the one hiding in the shadows, recording us.
“But this video and the story I’ll write will be my first step to becoming the biggest investigative reporter and winning a Pulitzer Prize.”
Cold sweat soaked my t-shirt because I knew what was coming. While Killian, Gage, and Slate were busy delivering their own hazing to their pledges, the drunk, sadistic version of me on the screen laughed and shoved Peter toward the edge.
And he disappeared into the darkness.
Susanna’s gasp made me wince, and the footage became shaky as tremors raced through her hands at what she just witnessed—a fucking murder.
“Oh my God.” Her pants muffled the arguing between Killian, Gage, Slate, and me. “There’s no way Peter could survive that fall as drunk as he was. No way.”
I slammed my computer shut and ripped out the drive, the small device slipping from my sweaty grip a few times before finally shoving it into my pocket. My heart battered my ribs as my hammering pulse filled my ears.
This scene had played out in my memories and in my nightmares a million times, but watching it, seeing what a twisted fuck I’d been, had my stomach threatening to unload every bit of food I’d eaten today.
And confirming what I already suspected—that Susanna died because of me—made me want to dig a hole and bury myself alive.
The snake tattoo suddenly burned on my forearm as if the mark sought to remind me of who kept me out of prison. Susanna must have shown that video or spoken about it to the wrong person, and it got back to the brotherhood. They killed her to protect me.
Micah could never know any of this.
I crammed the laptop into my bag and marched through the library as my surroundings blurred out of focus. All I could see was me pushing Peter off the cliff over and over again. My shoulder bumped into a shelf as I turned a corner and then I ran straight into someone.
Her gasp yanked me back to the present, and I grabbed the woman’s arms before she fell on her ass.
“Axel?” Lorelei’s brown eyes peered up at me, slowly filling with suspicion. “Didn’t you just tell me you were at the Sigma Delta house?”
Fuck. I had to run into her, of all people.
I released her and gripped the straps of my bag so tight they threatened to break. “You’re not really my girlfriend, Lorelei. I don’t have to tell you shit.”
The words burst between my gritted teeth and hit the air like daggers directed at her.
Lorelei’s mouth parted at my callous tone. I’d never so much as snapped at her. But as soon as the shock wore off, her cold, heartless debutant facade slid into place, and she folded her arms in front of her.
“If you have a problem with this arrangement, Axel, we can end it now. Just say the word.”
Panic tore gouges in my chest at the thought of losing the warm, kindhearted Lorelei I’d come to know. I couldn’t handle her shoving me out and becoming the ice princess again.
“Fuck, I’m sorry.” I jammed my hands into my hair, the edges damp with sweat. “I didn’t mean that. I’m just dealing with something.”
Her walls didn’t budge, but as she studied me, some of the hardness melted from her expression. “You don’t look good. What’s wrong?”
I sagged against a bookshelf, my tongue so numb I wasn’t sure I could properly speak. “Do you ever feel like no matter how hard you try you can’t escape your bad choices?”
“Every damn day.”
The sorrow enfolding her words was so heavy I feared her knees would collapse from the weight. I wanted to pull her into a hug and never let go. Lorelei had her own secrets, and part of me believed—hoped—she wouldn’t turn me away or run if I confessed mine.
My phone buzzed again, shattering the intense moment. A text from an unknown number displayed on the screen.
Unknown: We will have a conversation soon.
Lorelei leaned forward, trying to read the screen upside down. “What’s going on?”
“I’m about to find out.” I called the number, expecting Vaughn to answer. Who else would send me a cryptic text?
“I should have known you’d immediately call.”
The voice definitely didn’t belong to Vaughn. “Who is this?”
“You stole something from me, Mr. Vanderhart, and I’m not one to allow that kind of disrespect.”
My brows slammed down. The only thing I’d stolen recently was Mr. Dupont’s laptop, and this wasn’t Peter’s father. “You don’t want to start a problem with me. You won’t like the outcome.”
The familiar mix of arrogance and menace in the guy’s chuckle had warnings blaring through my mind. “I know you’re from a powerful family and have all the right connections, but as I said, I’m not to be disrespected, especially not by some little college boy.”
I pushed off the bookshelf, my free hand curling into a fist as I finally recognized the voice. “Brock Haversham.”