11. Chapter Eleven
Returning to the tower is more unsettling than the last time because it feels as though I’ve lived years inside Lazzus’s story. “That makes more sense now. Do you regret listening to the collective? Like maybe you shouldn’t have conquered, and you and Evelia could have snuck off and married.”
“No, that’s not what I regret. They sent me on the path to conquering, but that’s not it.”
“Well, I personally don’t like them. You had something very sweet going with Evelia, and they ruined it.”
He chuckles, a low rumble from his chest. “My existence was never intended to be sweet.”
“Fair, but you’re still here, which means you failed. Why? You were doing such a good job at all the conquering.”
“Yes, I was. But let the story unfold without all the questions. It will make sense if it is meant to.”
I close my eyes as my exhaustion returns and pull my blankets to my chin. “Okay, but you promise I will be able to figure out what you regret by the end?” I open my eyes when he doesn’t answer. “It is possible?”
“It is, but I don’t know what your mind will conclude.” He has two more blankets in his hands and lays them over me." Sleep well, Neera."
“My blankets are going to reach the ceiling before you’re done visiting.” My voice trails off into a whisper as I drift to sleep.
I dream of Ivelle, and she’s holding the black cat she rescued right before I left to sell items at the market.
Her smile is haunting as she tilts her head at too low an angle. “You left me to the madness, Neera. The madness should have claimed you. It should have stolen your life as it did mine.”
My mother and sisters’ limbs twist and bend in places that aren’t joints, and it causes stuttered, unnatural movements. My mother hisses and foam spills from her mouth. In the center is baby Florian. His black eyes stare up at me as he reaches for me, gnashing his teeth.
I take several steps to pick up my brother, and the others all charge me on cracking legs that snap in and out of springy joints.
Everything shakes, and I fly forward, nearly slamming my head into the king’s chest. I push him away. “Don’t touch me.”
“You’re welcome.”
“For what? Destroying my life and that of all your citizens?”
He walks over to the doorway and stops. “For waking you from that nightmare.”
“Why are you in my room?”
“It’s time for breakfast.”
I pull a blanket back over my shoulders so he can’t steal anymore looks at my almost transparent nightgown. “Can’t you have servants fetch me? I’d prefer that.”
“It’s funny you think I care about what you prefer.”
“You make no sense! All you do is complain how I’ve inconvenienced you with my presence, yet you make me eat breakfast with you and watch me while I sleep.”
“You have ten minutes to be at breakfast before I lock you in here for the day.” He leaves me with his demands.
I’m half tempted to start up the mountain, and the heated winter clothes almost make it seem wise.
They’d keep me from freezing, and most monsters would be hibernating.
That would make the objects unnecessary since Lazzus said they were for protection.
That seemed likely except for the key, but I file the idea away for when the king becomes completely unbearable, which seems like that will be soon.
The ten-minute deadline gives me no time for a bath, and I throw on a new dress from the wardrobe. Aldric and Morvin appear to have moved on from my room. I pin up my hair and join the royal ass at breakfast. We eat in silence until I’ve had enough of his staring.
I slam my fork onto the table. “Have you never seen a woman before? Is that it? I mean, you had to have because you went to the market and took my monster.”
“You were given what you wanted in return for that monster.”
“Yes, but you’re the king, and you could have let me keep him. You had enough to cover the medication for my brother, and if you were any kind of gracious king at all, you would have better treatment access for your people.”
He pours cream into his glass and sips it. “Your monster would have grown up and bitten off your head.”
“Not if I raised him.”
“A beast is always a beast. You cannot force feed him morals that his instincts will overwhelm.”
“Where is he?”
He takes another sip of tea and looks out the big window at the falling snow. “I will make a deal with you. If you can find him, he is yours.”
“Is he somewhere I can go, or have you hidden him behind a black door?”
“He is somewhere you are allowed to go within the castle grounds.”
I bite the end of a strawberry and swallow it as I debate my answer. “Okay, deal.”
“But don’t complain to me when he acts like the animal he is and kills you.”
“I won’t because I’ll be dead, so no worries for you there.”
“Hauntings are included in ways to complain.”
“Noted. I wouldn’t want to interrupt your miserable life of solitude by wasting precious minutes. Instead, I’ll move on to the afterlife where I can officially be rid of you.”
“That gives me more of an incentive to kill you when this is done.”
I bat my eyelashes at him and smile. “If I’m forced to be around you much longer, I’ll hand you the knife myself.”
“Don’t tempt me with that much fun.”
“Right. Fun is a scary concept for you. People fear what they’ve never experienced.” I return to my meal and ignore his almost smirk.
“What were you dreaming about?”
“Why do you even want to know?” I spear another strawberry and bite into it, trying not to let him see how much I love the rare berries.
“The castle heard you screaming, and I’d like that not to happen again.” He rubs his forehead, which is something he does every so often. Sometimes he switches to his temples, but I don't care enough to ask him about it.
“The castle? Your entire city of a castle heard me screaming?”
“Yes, and it didn’t like it.”
I squint my left eye and search for any sign that he has a sense of humor. “Your castle didn’t like me screaming?”
“It did not, so if there is a way to make your nightmare never happen again, we should figure that out.”
“If you must know, you’re not the only one whose life turned upside down by recent events.” I push my plate away. “Have I eaten enough for your liking, Your Majesty?” I keep my jaw tight as I say it.
He stares out the window, which seems to be his favorite activity after staring at me. “You may leave.”
I rush out the door, biting my lip my entire exit to prevent him from catching my tears.
My grief won’t be something to bring him satisfaction.
After putting on my winter clothes, I decide it’s been too long since I checked on my horse, and it’s the longest amount of time I’ve gone without him since my father gave him to me.
Not only that, but I can ride him around the castle grounds to search the outbuildings much faster for the dagger.
It takes me asking for directions from a fish skull person to find the royal stable. Elton is in a large stall eating from a long trough. He looks well taken care of.
“Neera! It’s good to see you again!” Fredrickson startles me when he walks up holding a broom. The bear skull man is wearing red suspenders that hold up his black pants since becoming merely bones probably left him with no clothes that fit.
“This is my horse, and I’d like to ride him.”
“Yes, you certainly can. Let me get a saddle for him.” He readies Elton for me while talking about how the snow won’t seem to stop.
“Yes, it seems I will be here for a while. It wouldn’t be such a bad thing if the people I love weren’t cursed, and I wasn’t stuck with the stiff, grumpy king who insists I eat breakfast with him every morning.”
Fredrickson leads Elton out of the stall and helps me onto him. “He insists you eat breakfast with him?”
“Yes, unfortunately.”
“That’s interesting.”
“Why is it interesting?”
“It’s something he’s never done before. The king likes to keep to himself. When you return, I’ll be at the second barn to your right. Just let me know, and I’ll get Elton settled again.”
“Thank you.” I nudge Elton out of the barn and decide to return to the apothecary building first to see if there are any wolf’s blood and hemlock powder.
The combination mixed with a few more things can create a powder that I can dip knives into.
The wolf’s blood and other ingredients increase the spread of the poison faster, causing instant death with even larger animals.
Frost is riding up the glass of the apothecary room, and I rush inside to see if the cold has become too much for all the potions.
The inside is warm enough that I shed my coat and gloves on a table.
All the ingredients I need for the knife poison are found on various shelves, and there is even an enhancer to make it more precise.
I enjoy creating it so much that I search the shelves and find other ingredients for medications to take back to the village. Several will cure dangerous plagues, and I spend much of the day making them to take back with me when I finish the mountain quest.
“You’ve come back!” Aldric lands on the table I’m working at.
“I could say the same to you. The castle wasn’t to your liking?”
“Morvin missed home. Change is hard.”
“Indeed.” I pluck the purple shadow berries from their red stems and use a pestle to crush the stems into my latest creation.
The color isn’t quite right, so I go over to a cabinet to grab extra crabgrass seeds. The main jar is empty, so I move others around to find more. A wooden box with words carved into the side catches my eye, and I remove it for a better look.
I dust off the top and squint. “You wouldn’t happen to know the eastern language, would you?”
Aldric hops over to look. “Some.” He inspects the spot I point to on the lid. “It says they are fragmented essences.” His head tilts to the side like he needs to read it from a different angle.
“Which species?”
“Human. What does it mean?”