26. Chapter Twenty-Six #2
“You watched me dance? You told me it was my space, and you wouldn’t bother me there.”
“I didn’t bother you. Clearly, you didn’t know I stopped by, so you weren’t bothered.”
“You’re the biggest moron! I don’t have music on the beach because you have stolen everything from me because you’re selfish.”
“There was a time we were everything to each other.”
“And that ended the minute you took my choices from me. Who does that to the person they claim to love most?” She shoves me back and gets the door open.
I grab her wrist and pull her to me. “Love means nothing if you have to live separately. All the time we were apart, things were terrible.”
“Love is giving everything to the other person so that they can be happy. But giving everything to someone who doesn’t love you to the same degree makes it a waste.
It only brings sorrow. That’s what I was trying to tell you earlier.
I lost you too, grieved for you, and longed for the day we could be together.
You already had me! There was nothing more you needed to do, but conquering mattered more. ”
“It was what I was created to do, and if I don’t do it, the collective will pull me from this world with no way back. No way back to you.”
“You should let that happen.” She yanks her wrist and hurries from the room when I let her go.
I hurry after her. “You know how many would love to be my wife?”
“There are many stupid people out there, so probably plenty. I’m happy to step aside and hand the job to them.”
“You’re infuriating!”
“Good.”
“Let me fuck you. Not having you is devouring my sanity. You won’t remember your name when I’m done, and it’ll be the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”
“I’m fond of my name, and you are free to fuck whoever you want, except me.”
“We’re married, and I’m faithful.”
She stops outside her door and turns around to face me. “And as your wife.” Her nose twitches at the title. “As your wife, I give you permission to find someone who will save me the trouble of pleasing you.”
“I want to please you.”
“Then leave me alone.” Her breathy tone and rapid heartbeat don’t match her words.
“I want to make you wet with my words and then fulfill every promise as I drive inside you until you lose all sense as you come.”
She removes another dagger from her hip and stabs me in the neck.
“This is what pleases me!” She goes into her room and slams the door in my face.
Her heartbeat pulses through the door as if she’s just on the other side.
I want to bust down her door, but I leave her to sit with what I just said to her.
I put the daggers she stabbed me with on my nightstand, where they will remain as precious keepsakes.
The cold shower fails to calm my filthy thoughts, but I force myself to stay under the spout until I can calm enough to attend to other matters.
Blue fog seeps under the bathroom door until I’m rapidly engulfed in the blue haze.
My skin boils and peels off my body. I turn to smoke, but it continues intertwining with my form and still carries a sharp bite.
I slide under the door, but there’s a barrier pressed tight against it that I can’t budge. The vent in the ceiling seems my best option until the blue fog blows fiercely through it. Every time I nearly reach the escape, I’m blown back to the floor.
The room becomes a blur as I’m spun around in something hotter than my flames.
I break free from the vent and frantically search for any small crack and find a tiny one in the corner, shooting through it and escaping into the wall.
I flee the blue fog that slowly trickles through the same crack.
There are many turns and curves I follow until light streams through a small hole.
I turn solid and take breaths to ensure the air is no longer toxic.
Servants stare at me as they rush past, and it takes me several moments to get to my feet.
No one checks to see if I’m fine, and I rush back to my bedroom to open the window before removing the cloth stuck under the door and releasing the toxic fog.
Fear swarms my gut, and I leap back into the air as smoke to escape the only thing that has ever truly harmed me.
Rage barrels through me that the only person I’ve ever loved put me through such a horrific experience.
For the first time in my existence, I’m infuriated with Evelia.
It vibrates through me differently than any other time I’ve ever felt anger.
It’s mixed with a pain more violent than the one inflicted by the blue fog.
Once I’m sure the threat is gone, I march to Evelia’s room and throw open both of her large doors. “What was that?” I don’t even know what I want to do with her and only want her to see my wrath.
She shoots forward in bed, and her shoulders fall. “Not from the stars. It was my last hope.” She lies back down and wails.
All my anger dissolves the moment her sobs escape her attempt to muffle them into her pillow. “Evelia.” I creep toward the side of her bed. “Evelia.”
She rolls over to look at me, and the deep sadness that has taken root in her eyes drops me to my knees. “Lazzus.”
“Yes, my love.”
“All these months I’ve been miserable and lost! All I’ve wanted is my best friend, but you’re the one who did this to me. The need for you to hold me like when we were kids is killing me.” She sniffles and accepts the cloth I hand her.
“Can I hold you?”
“No, because then you’ll think everything is fine. You’ll think I’ve accepted defeat and am yours again," she says.
“Mine? You were mine?”
She lets out small, heartbreaking whimpers. “We were each other’s. It was against everyone, but you ruined that.”
“Let me hold you, and I will do so knowing that you still want me dead in the morning.”
“I’ve never truly wanted you dead, but you left me no choice but to protect everyone from your actions.”
“That is fair, so accept my comfort, and I will let it change nothing after tonight.”
“Promise.”
“I promise.”
She tugs me onto the bed and effortlessly falls against me, like she always did when we were younger and life became too difficult.
Evelia is the only home I’ve ever known.
She was home when I had nowhere to live.
She was everything when I had nothing. That hasn’t changed despite the castle and servants that surround us.
Her body bobs against me. “I’m such a failure!”
“No, you’re not.”
“I can’t even do the one task I came here to do. You’re still perfectly fine.”
“Sweetheart, I’m just powerful. That’s all. Anyone else would be dead by now with the dedication and skill you’ve given your mission.”
She cries harder, and I hold her through the night, comforting her over being unable to kill me. I do not sleep. It would be so easy to fall into peace with her in my arms, but sleep will steal this moment too quickly, when by morning, we will become enemies again.
Not that she will ever be mine, but I Iet hate grow like weeds overtaking a garden until she had no other choice but to call me her adversary. I memorize her scent and touch and cling to them until morning.