Chapter 13
Chapter
Thirteen
“Ineed to sit down.” I do, plopping my ass on the weedy ground as the fairy with all the answers but none of the solutions gracefully eases to the ground beside me.
The moon is higher now, glowing down on me with what I hope is pity.
The stars, though, they’re still twinkling and laughing.
‘Hahaha, Moira is such a dummy for thinking she can ever beat Peter at his own game.’ I close my eyes and try to suss through it all, to get to the heart of it, the heart of the island.
The thing I keep coming back to, out of all the multitude, is the fact that Hook put this all into motion because he wanted love.
Something so simple yet so true. He wanted love, and the island gave him this twisted wreckage instead.
Is it because he’s a villain as he happily admits?
Is it a punishment that his wish for something pure became so ugly and filled with horror?
“It’s not Hook’s fault,” I say weakly as I wipe away tears.
“I didn’t say it was,” the Spinner says gently. “I assign no more fault to him than he deserves. Just as I do for Peter and for your mother.”
“What did she wish for?” I already know. Of course I know.
“She bargained for your life, saving you from Peter but losing herself.”
A sob breaks free before I can lock it down. Skeletal hands beat on the filigree box I keep buried deep under layers of rock and dirt. My mother’s memory demanding I let her out and let my grief run free.
She reaches out and puts her hand on my knee, making the skin on my shoulder blades tingle anew.
“The island doesn’t give anything for free.
Your mother lost her ability to be with you.
Peter lost his soul. Hook lost the ignorance that he reveled in while he did every dirty deed imaginable.
They all had to suffer to gain their hearts’ desires. ”
“It’s cruel.” I sob into my hands.
“Magic must balance, Moira. Just like everything else in our worlds. Tipping the scales even a little bit can lead to disaster.”
“I don’t know what to do.” I take a deep breath, but another sob breaks right through my attempt at calm. “I don’t know what to do! You can’t heal me. Peter is growing stronger. Hook is in love with me when I’m not even his. And, and, and …” God, it hurts to even say it. “I’m in love with him.”
She sits quietly as I cry. “It seems cruel. I know.” She sighs. “But if you look at it outside of time, outside of right and wrong, it’s a simple balance that the island is trying to protect.”
“Nothing about this is balanced.” I sniffle and let out a frustrated yell. “I’m dying. How is that balanced? I can’t save myself or the people I love if I’m dead.”
She goes on, her tone patient, “I told you that magic must balance. For me to restore you, I’d need a sacrifice. Something in-kind.”
I meet her opal gaze. “I’m practically dead. You mean you’d need someone else’s life for mine?”
She nods. “A powerful one at that.”
Another brazen laugh rips from me, the sound shot-through with tears. “Look around, Spinner! Do you see any powerful people lining up to die for me?”
She directs a pointed glance at Hook.
“No!” I get to my feet. “No way.”
“You said it yourself. He’s in love with you. He’d do anything to save you.”
I glare at her. Tinker Bell’s demeanor makes more and more sense to me as I speak to the Spinner. The cold, calculating way of the fae isn’t particular to just Tink. Though it’s not malicious. If anything, it’s the soul of practicality. Transactional. Tit for tat. Balance the scales.
She bows her head. “I’m sorry. I’m only trying to help.” She turns to the side quickly, as if she’s heard something. Her pointed ear seems to vibrate as she listens.
“What?”
“He’s coming for you.” She looks up toward the moon that’s almost directly overhead. “Peter will be here any moment.” She bares her fangs.
“I have to wake up.” I look at my body still huddled in Hook’s arms. “Wake me up!” I yell at the Spinner.
She darts forward and presses her thumb to my forehead.
I jolt awake.
“Moira!” Hook yells.
“Peter’s coming!” I scream.
Hook jumps to his feet and takes off toward the village at a dead run.
I cling to him as he races toward the shelter of the trees and the buildings.
The crew is waiting for us, all of them lined up with weapons in their hands, as if they were already primed for trouble.
I suppose they were. The full moon is almost at its zenith.
When Hook reaches the safety of his crew, he veers to the left and kicks in the door to one of the cottages along the road. He takes me inside and lays me down on a sofa that smells musty but is comfortable, all the same.
“Where’d you go, lass?” He cups my cheeks. “I feared you were—” He stops himself. “Where’d you go?”
“I found the Spinner. I think she hides in dreams. Peter came and drained her people. There are still fae, though, in the mountains.”
“Why didn’t she help you?” His eyes search mine.
“She can’t. I mean, she can, but …” I trail off. I don’t want to tell him the truth. If I do, I know he’ll volunteer to die for me. I won’t let him do that.
“But what, lass? What did she ask for in return?”
He knows. He knows more about the fae than most, so he’s probably already aware of the cost and the balancing. His gaze darkens. “I’ll give her whatever she needs to save you.” He turns and yells, “Spinner! Show yourself!”
“No!” I grab his arm. “No! That’s not the way.
I won’t lose you. Do you understand? I can’t lose you.
” I lean up and kiss him. A stolen kiss, one that I know should belong to another.
But I don’t care. Not when death is right around the corner for me.
Because even if he isn’t mine, I love him.
I love him as if he was always meant for me.
He pulls back. “How about Anne? I’ll put her on the chopping block, no questions asked.”
“That’s horrible.” I wrap my arms around his neck. “You know that, right?”
“I know, but I’m happy to do it.”
I squeeze him as hard as I can, but I know he can barely feel it. I’m growing weaker by the second. “No, you wouldn’t be. The Spinner told me what you had to give up to make your wish.”
He pulls back and looks into my eyes. “She did?”
I nod. “You got your soul.” I press my palm to his chest. “You felt what you’d done. All those horrible things you told me about—that’s when you realized you were a villain, wasn’t it? When you made the bargain for love?”
He stills, his heart racing beneath my touch.
With a quick dip of his head, he says, “Aye. It is as you say. I made my bargain, and in return, I got the full weight of my sins on my shoulders. I carry that burden still. I’ll carry it forever.
” He presses his forehead to mine. “But it’s worth it, lass. For you.”
For me. My throat closes as I try to tell him the truth—that I’m not his. That I never was. I have to tell him, but the emotion that rises inside me prevents anything from leaving but a whimper.
A scream cuts through the silence, then a sickly thud as a body hits the ground.
“I have to face him.” Hook slides a blade into my palm. “I’ll come back for you, lass. Sit tight.”
He runs out into the night and pulls his sword free as the cottage door swings closed again.
More screams and the sound of swords clashing gets me on my feet. I press myself to the wall by the window and peek out.
There are a handful of Lost Boys fighting with the pirates. Hook is after Peter, the two of them already locked in their never-ending combat. They duel with a ferocity that drips hate like venom from fangs. Each one wants to destroy the other, and I can only hope that Hook makes it out alive.
When a shadow passes in front of the window, I hold my breath. The chill of dread creeps along my skin when I realize it’s not just any shadow. It’s Peter’s.
Slowly, I back away from the window and tuck myself between a wardrobe and the wall.
Something moves near the back of the room, and a cold sweat breaks out along my forehead.
But when I turn my head just enough to get a look at it, I see it’s not Peter’s shadow.
It’s another, one with bright red eyes and pointed ears.
One of the fae that Peter drained. It has to be.
It prowls from the house, and once outside, it lets out a scream that turns my stomach and makes my mouth go dry.
More screams answer it, dozens of them from all over the Fairy Village. Will they attack Peter, or will they kill anyone in their path?
My knees shake as I try to stay upright. I want to fight, to do something other than hide. But I can’t, not without being a liability for my friends. I’m too weak.
But I’ve realized something in the moments since I spoke with the Spinner: I’m not giving up.
I can’t. My mother gave everything so that I could survive Peter.
I won’t let her sacrifice be in vain. The pity party is officially over.
I may not be able to kick any ass, but I’m not going to lay down and die, either.
If this island wants me dead, it’s going to have to work for it.
With a new resolve, I take a deep breath and peer out from around the wardrobe again.
Nothing moves in the house, and the shadow is gone from the window.
That cursed version of Peter hasn’t caught me …
yet. The sounds of battle continue, and I try to get a glimpse of Hook.
He and Peter are past the arch now, the fight meandering back toward the sea.
I can barely make them out, and something terrifying roars from the farmlands to my right.
I hear a cough near the window and creep out to look. I don’t see anyone, so I ease to the door and pull it open just enough. That’s when my stomach drops.
Yanking the door the rest of the way open, I rush outside and drop to my knees beside Nibs.
He gasps, blood running from the corners of his mouth. There’s a gaping wound in his stomach, and some of his insides spill out onto the mossy ground.
I look around for Skylights, for anyone who can help. But they’re gone. And would they help a Lost Boy? No. They’d free him. The same way I freed Slightly.
“Hey.” I scoot so I can cradle his head in my lap. “Hey, Nibs. Everything’s going to be all right.” I lie to him.
“Mommy?” he asks.
“Yes.” I nod. “It’s me.” I stroke his bloodied cheek. “You’re safe now.”
“I missed you so much.” Tears flood his eyes. “I missed you, Mommy.”
“I missed you, too.” I can barely breathe, can barely hold it together. Because when I look at him, I see a scared child. One Peter stole away and locked up on Neverland when he should’ve moved on to something better, somewhere he could find his mother and be happy again.
“I’m frightened of the dark.”
“Everything that’s there in the light is there in the dark.” I tell him what my mother always told me. “Don’t worry.”
He smiles a little, and I wonder if his mother told him the same. “That’s right.”
“Shh. Just rest now. It’s time for sleep. Close your eyes.” I keep stroking his cheek, and I wonder if he can hear the pain in my voice. “Everything’s all right.”
“Okay.” His chest spasms, but he closes his eyes.
“Just rest.” I smooth his hair back from his brow. “You’re a good boy, Nibs.”
His mouth moves, but he doesn’t make a sound. When his chest spasms again, he goes still.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.” I lean over and kiss his forehead, my tears mixing with his. “Goodbye.”
I struggle to my feet, my heart in tatters, and lean against the house.
Peter’s shadow jumps down right in front of me, as if it had been on the roof watching the whole thing.
“No!” I scream as it reaches for me. I’d rather die than let it take me.
It swallows me with its black mesh, choking me as it drags me away toward the farmlands. I reach for the blade Hook gave me. It comes free from the belt at my waist, but when I swing it at the shadow, it goes right through it.
“Let go!” I kick, but it only grips me more tightly, a boa constrictor around my throat.
I still have the knife. It won’t work on the shadow, but it will work on me. I pull it closer to me and clench my eyes shut. This isn’t giving up. This is refusing to give Peter what he wants. This is my final stand.
But do I have the courage to do it?
“Be brave.” Hook’s voice is in my head, in my heart.
I can be brave for him, for the people I love who are right now fighting for their lives. If Peter takes me, he’ll use me up and wipe them out. I won’t let that happen.
I send a silent goodbye to my vicious pirate, even if he never really was mine. Then I straighten my arm and aim the knife for my chest.
With all my strength, I swing it inward, right to my heart.