39. Chapter Thirty-Nine Cam
Chapter Thirty-Nine: Cam
We'd been driving for an hour in silence, and it was getting irritating.
Sarah was wound so tight she could shit a diamond.
She'd been going through the information on Kyle's phone, the stuff he'd downloaded from the lab computer.
Kyle was being a dick and refused to turn on any music, so all we were listening to was the sound of his obnoxious fucking breathing.
"Alright, spit it out," I met her gaze through the rearview. "What's got your panties in a twist?"
Sarah's brow furrowed. "This facility... it's not just a breeding ground. It's an assembly line for compliant killers."
Lakey perked up at that, her interest peaked. "Ooh, do tell. I do love a good murder factory. The docs I read just said they were modifying them, not what they were for."
I snorted, but my amusement faded as Sarah laid out her theory. Words like "conditioning" and "behavioral modification" made my skin crawl. Flashes of white walls and sterile needles danced at the edges of my vision.
"Think about it," Sarah was saying, her voice steady but urgent. "The meticulous record-keeping, the genetic profiling. They're not just breeding the perfect bodies. They're engineering the perfect minds."
The van felt too small suddenly, closing in around me. I gripped the steering wheel tighter, knuckles white.
"Makes sense," Lakey chirped. "Can't have your pet assassins growing a conscience, can you?"
I wanted to tell her to shut up, but my throat was dry. The smell of antiseptic filled my nose, a phantom from another life.
Sarah's voice droned on, connecting dots I didn't want connected. "...selective breeding for certain traits, coupled with early indoctrination..."
A memory surfaced, digging into my brain, making me uncomfortable. Me, maybe six years old, strapped to a chair while men in white coats loomed over me. The sting of a needle, then darkness.
"Cam?" Lakey's voice cut through the fog. "You okay, baby? You look like you've seen a ghost."
I blinked, looking over at her with a wink, forcing a lazy grin. "Just admiring the view, sweetheart. Sarah's quite the detective, isn't she?"
But inside, my mind was reeling. What if I wasn't the self-made monster I'd always believed?
What if someone else had their fingers in my brain, molding me into their perfect weapon?
Maybe, if they'd have left me alone, I'd have been able to accomplish those short-term dreams I'd had as a child.
Back when I was innocent, and blood hadn't stained my hands.
The thought made me want to put my fist through something. Or someone.
"So, what's the plan?" I asked, desperate to focus on anything else. "We storming the castle, or what?"
Sarah's eyes met mine again, determination blazing. "We need to debrief and rest. But yeah, eventually? We're going to destroy them. And that is where you two come in." She smiled as if she'd just said the kindest thing in the world.
I bit back a retort and nodded instead. At least the thrill of violence threading through me felt real. Felt like me.
"Now you're speaking my language," Lakey snuggled closer. Her warmth grounded me, pushing out the memories that were trying to fill in the gaps.
Whatever they'd done to me in that place, they couldn't touch this. Lakey was mine, and I was hers. Everything else could stay buried in the fucking dark, but I wouldn't let those ghosts destroy us. I couldn't.
Rose's voice cut through my dark thoughts, soft but edged with steel. "I... I think I remember a place like that. I mean, the one we just came from. Not clearly, but..." She trailed off, her eyes going distant.
Rose was a mystery, all wide-eyed innocence one minute and kick-ass nut when triggered.
Kind of reminded me of Lakey, if I'm being honest. Well, back when we were kids.
Before I went to juvie. She was tough, but she still held an air of hope around her.
After I was convicted, everything changed.
That small piece of her that still held the innocence of a child had died, and in its place, a cold-blooded killer stood.
"It's okay, Rose," Sarah murmured, reaching back to touch her arm. "Take your time."
Rose flinched at the contact, then forced herself to relax. "There were... white walls. The smell of blood. And pain. So much pain."
Lakey tensed against me, her fingers digging into my thigh. I knew that look in her eyes. She was imagining all the ways she could make those responsible suffer.
"But that can't be right," Rose continued, her voice gaining strength.
"I had a family. A real one. I remember...
I remember my mom's laugh, my dad's stupid jokes.
That has to be real. It has to be. Besides, babies don't have memories, right?
That's what they say in those textbooks.
No pain, no memories. Just a blank slate. Tabula Rasa."
There was a twinge in my chest. Envy? Pity? Hell if I knew. "Maybe you do have real memories," I found myself saying. "Maybe they took you later."
Rose's eyes snapped to mine, a flicker of hope amid the turmoil. "You think so?"
I shrugged, uncomfortable with the question. I didn't fucking know, but I didn't want her to feel whatever she was feeling right now. "Fuck if I know. But if they did, we'll find out. And then we'll make 'em pay."
Lakey giggled. "Oh yes." She reached around me to grab Rose's hand, squeezing tightly. "We'll paint the walls red with their blood."
Sarah rolled her eyes at our antics but there was no real exasperation behind it. She knew what we were by now, knew the monsters that lurked beneath our skin. And yet, here she was, still fighting alongside us.
Maybe we were all a little fucked up. Maybe, by slumming it with us, we gave her permission to untie her panties and give some murder a go. I'm sure she'd find it quite freeing.
As conversation faded around me, my mind started to drift. My ears started ringing, painful and loud. The cramped interior of the car seemed to melt away, replaced by echoing voices, blood splattered everywhere. My blood? Fuck. Not now.
I clenched my jaw, fighting against the flood of memories. But they came anyway, disjointed flashes that made my skin crawl.
The cold bite of metal restraints.
The sting of a needle.
A voice: "Patient Y is responding well to the treatment."
I blinked hard, forcing myself back to the present. My fists were clenched so tight my knuckles had gone white. Lakey was eyeing me, her hand back on my thigh.
"You okay there, babe?" she murmured, low enough that only I could hear.
I managed a tight nod, not trusting my voice. My throat felt raw, like I'd been screaming. Had I? Christ, I hoped not.
Sarah was talking, her words a distant buzz in my ears. I focused on Lakey's touch, on the warmth of her hand against my leg. It was real. This was real. Not those fucked-up memories of needles and pain and—
"Cam?" Sarah's voice cut through the haze. "Cam?"
I plastered on my most charming smile, ignoring the way it felt like shattered glass in my mouth. "Mmhmm. What?" I still couldn't see, blinders over my eyes as I fought to come back to myself. Dissociation was a bitch, especially when you're in a car with people you don't particularly trust.
Lakey's fingers tightened, a sign she was with me. She knew me too well, could see that something was off, that I wasn't here. But she didn't call me out. She knew better than to expose any weakness when others are around.
Instead, she leaned in close, her breath tickling my ear. "When this is over," she whispered, "I'm gonna tattoo every inch of your skin. Remind you who you are. You don't belong to them. You belong to me."
Her voice lingered, her fingers caressing over my leg as my vision started to clear, replaced by a memory of her sitting on my lap, her giggles loud in our kitchen as she dotted my skin with hearts.
Someone once called me a pussy because of them.
I pulled him close into me and slid my hand down his pants before wrapping it around his cock.
The guy had been so excited until I started squeezing and squeezing, until his screams were interrupted by a pop and his blood spilled into my hand.
You're right... I am a pussy, so what the fuck does that make you?
It took me a minute to realize that Lakes was staring at me, waiting for a reply. "Promise?" I murmured back.
Her answering grin was all teeth before she made a kissy face and smushed her lips on my cheek. "Cross my heart and hope they die, baby."
Sarah's voice cut through our little moment.
"Right, so as I was saying. They want people in high places, but how do you get that?
You can't just appoint an adult and pay them off.
Eventually people grow a conscience. No, you make the type of person you want for each role.
In my limited time as a social worker, they'd usually have me go to the poorest cities and see what kind of kids were there.
The ones who displayed the most 'promise' would be marked, and I'd be tasked to remove them and place in a Chimera-run foster family. "
My skin went cold. "What the fuck are you talking about?"
She leaned forward, her eyes filled with guilt.
A haunted woman. "Think about it. Rose's memories, the facility we found.
It all fits. They're not just raising kids to be obedient.
They're selecting for specific traits. The DNA they're using, it's top of the line.
Lack of empathy, heightened intelligence, charm... "
The words hit me like a sucker punch to the gut.
I could feel Lakey's eyes on me, but I couldn't look at her.
Couldn't let her see how close I was to losing my shit.
The more Sarah talked, the more the darkness tried to drag me down into it.
And it wasn't a darkness I recognized or wanted any fucking part of.