17. Forgiveness of Debts
Forgiveness of Debts
Sara
Wyatt’s head touches the glass and agony fills his voice. I’m stunned. Not sure what to say or do. I lost my dad when I was seven. No one told me what happened. Just one night he tucked me into bed with a kiss, and the next morning he was gone.
Mom was distraught. Tom seemed different, distant as tears ran down his face. I didn’t know what to do to help them when my own heart was torn in two. Lost, I turned to Dante, Finn, and Wyatt.
I let them hold my hand through the mourning period and the grieving that seemed never-ending.
Tom started fights with Wyatt, but Wyatt always just took it, like he deserved it.
I always thought Tom was angry over our father’s death and taking it out on his friend.
But now, it makes sense when I look back on it.
Even Wyatt seemed different after my father died, but he also took care of me and looked out for me more. Like maybe I was his penance too.
In this bedroom now, no one says a word. Had he told me this when I was younger, I might have clung to it. Convinced myself he was the villain of the story. That as a little boy, he made my dad die. Maybe that’s what Tom did.
But as an adult…
“My dad loved you.” I blink back the tears that surge forward at the memories. How my dad always included Wyatt, Finn, and Dante. How he protected them. I lower my feet to the floor and pad across the room.
Wyatt flinches when I stop behind him. Prepared for what? For me to hit him? Berate him? Fuck, I love this man so fucking much.
“You were a child and my dad was protecting you.” I wrap my arms around his waist and rest my head against his back, hoping he can feel my love.
My dad never would have wanted Wyatt to carry this for so long.
“He would have done that for any of us. You made a childish decision based on hope, but that doesn’t mean you were responsible for his death.
No matter how it played out, my dad would have done anything to protect you.
If he were here, he’d tell you the same thing. ”
Tension drains from him as he breathes in and his hand clasps over mine. Carrying that shouldn’t have ever been his responsibility. And Tom is an asshole for doing that to him, even if it was to keep Wyatt from me. I can’t imagine a life without Wyatt in it now.
“Tom shouldn’t have held that over your head.” I breathe in his leather scent and release it because, as much as I hate Tom right now, I also love him. He’s my brother, and maybe he just used it as an excuse to keep us apart. Played into Wyatt’s guilt that Tom never absolved him of.
“No one should have blamed you,” Dante says.
I turn my head to face the three still sitting. Their faces are solemn. The four of us all lost a father that day. My dad loved each of these boys like his own children. Drew’s dark eyes meet mine and he gives me a nod like he understands.
“We would have done anything to have a father like Tom’s,” Finn adds. “If I thought there was a real father waiting out there for me somewhere, I would have risked everything. You couldn’t have known who your father was. Not then.”
Wyatt sighs. His hands hold mine. “We found out later that Gerald did all those things he was accused of. He bankrupted some families and left others destitute. He disappeared that night. Your father’s case is cold because neither Tom nor I have said anything.
The cops think it’s a case of wrong place, wrong time. That someone tried to rob him.”
Wyatt shakes his head. “If it comes out that Gerald’s my biological father…”
“You’ll be ruined.” Drew curses softly. “Leighton Porter’s family was one of the families Gerald Wyatt conned out of their money. Society will ostracize you because you’re related.”
“Is Tom holding that over your head too?” Fire builds inside me, making me want to track down my brother, hold him down, and kick his ass until whatever is broken inside him fixes itself. Wyatt is his best friend.
“He never threatened me with that but it’s always been a possibility.” Wyatt turns and tips my chin up, searching my eyes.
“He wouldn’t have done it if it would hurt Sara,” Dante says.
My laugh is bitter as it fills the room. “All Tom does lately is hurt me.”
Wyatt touches his forehead to mine. “He loves you and wants to protect you.”
I wish he’d show it better. The words almost come out, but Tom doesn’t get to live in the space between us anymore. “I don’t want to talk about Tom. Right now, he doesn’t exist for me.”
It won’t last. Eventually we’ll have to have a talk, but I don’t want anything to do with him. I don’t want to hear his excuses.
Wyatt’s dark eyes search mine. There’s still fear in those eyes, but also a gleam of hope I cling to because I need him. I cup his jaw. The years we’ve lost.
“If you think what you told me will scare me away, you’re wrong.
” I put my hand over his heart and its quickened beat makes my head swim.
We affect each other. Always have. Always will.
“I’m yours, Wyatt. I’ve always been yours.
What we have, the five of us, isn’t going away.
I want all of you.” I swallow before I admit, “I love all of you.”
His mouth captures mine as he drags me against his body. Everything in me lights up like a carnival at night. I’m done being careful. I’m done not taking what I want.
No one is going to tell me what feels right is wrong.
I press up on my toes and open beneath him, surrendering to him. He gathers me into him as his growl ripples through me, filling me with anticipation.
Giving in would be so easy, but there’s still discussion that needs to happen.
I retreat slowly and look up into his darkened eyes. “I’m not leaving you.”
He drags in a breath and blows it out. He grips my hips like he never wants to let me go. “You’re stuck with me now, trouble.”
An involuntary shiver races through me. This man and what he does to me.
“Don’t let Tom hold that over you anymore.” I touch Wyatt’s jaw and kiss his chin. “It was a tragedy but not something you’re responsible for.”
When I meet his eyes, I know it will take longer than a conversation to get him to forgive himself. To release that guilt he holds buried so deep inside. But he presses a kiss to my temple and pulls me against his chest, hugging me to him.
“I love you,” he whispers into my hair.
I breathe that in, letting the tingles rush through me as my heart fills my chest. “I love you, Wyatt.”
He releases me and guides me back to the couch. Two of my guys have told me they love me. The other two want a relationship with me at least.
I sit beside Wyatt on the couch. “How do we do this?”
“Have you forgotten already, flower?” Finn winks when I catch his green eyes.
I cross my legs against the ache that’s been growing there since I returned to their arms and clear my throat. “The relationship portion. I’m pretty sure we have the other aspect down.”
“We’ve barely begun to play with you, princess.” Drew smirks. “What do we need to discuss before we can get you naked?”
It feels like there’s this elephant in the room. Did they not hear me confess my feelings for all of them to Wyatt? Do I need to say it again? Do I need to get them alone to say it? Fuck, I’m spiraling.
Dante takes my hand and brings it to his lips. “What do you need from us, pip?”
I search his pale blue eyes. He cares for me. He wants me. Is that enough? Do I require their love or a ring or something more?
“Well, if we’re going to do this, then I’m not keeping it a secret from anyone.” I narrow my eyes on Dante’s.
He grins. “I’m more than willing to show you off in public, Sara. I’m willing to share you in private. I just want you.”
“What does that look like?” Maybe that’s my problem. Picturing this in the real world. Madison does it with ease but they’re all in love. “Do we tell our families? Do we just brazen it out?”
“Whatever you want, princess.” Drew chuckles. “We’re all on board now.”
“I’ll have to tell my mom.” The words trickle out of me before I realize the implications. My eyes widen and I stare in horror at Dante. “I’ll have to tell my mom!”
I jolt to my feet and pace. “She’ll love that I have a boyfriend.
That I’m in love, but four guys? She’ll think I’ve lost my mind.
What if she commits me? What if she tells me to break it off?
I don’t want to break it off. I’m a grown woman, and I can do what I want. But I don’t want to disappoint her.”
Finn steps in front of me and cups my jaw, forcing me to look up into his eyes.
“It’s okay, flower. We’ll do this one step at a time.
When we’re ready. But first, it’s about us.
No one else matters.” He strokes his thumb over my bottom lip, lighting that fire deep inside me into a roaring inferno.
“For the next few days, we don’t need to leave this room if you don’t want to. ”
Dante’s warmth floods my back and teases me with his ocean scent. “We’ll do whatever you want on your timeline, pip.” His hands settle on my arms as he closes in on me.
“We’re at your pleasure, princess.” Drew leans his head back on the couch and adjusts his erection in his pants. “Personally, I’d tell the world to fuck off for at least a day and spend it naked and worshipped, if I were you.”
He winks.
Dante slides his hands up the silky robe and draws it off my shoulders. My breath catches as he caresses bare skin. “What do you want, Sara?”
Finn brushes his lips across mine. “We’re yours, flower. Yours to command. Yours to do with whatever you want. What do you want, Sara?”
My heart slams against my chest as my eyes close to their soft touches. Dante tosses my robe somewhere. Finn grabs the hem of my shirt and meets my eyes for permission.
Biting my lip, I nod. He draws it up over my head. My nipples are hard peaks rubbing against his shirt. I reach for the bottom of it and draw it up until he helps me take it off. Then we’re flesh to flesh. I release a soft breath.
Dante’s hands slide into the sides of my pajama shorts and beneath my panties. Finn draws his fingers down my throat, over my collarbone, and to curve around my breast before cupping it.
“Have I told you how perfect your breasts are, flower?” He whispers the words against my lips. His nose grazes mine.
My lips part, waiting for him to take my mouth. To do more than hold my breast. To make me his again.
“Are you ready, pip?” Dante lowers as he draws my shorts and panties down to the floor. His breath bathes my spine in heat all the way down to my ass. He kisses my ass cheek with a light, sucking kiss.
“More than, boss,” I whisper, not wanting to break this spell they’re weaving around me. This is the opposite of when they fucked me in the office. Then I was just as aware of everything, but it was fast and rough. This is tender and soft.
Dante chuckles and spreads my legs apart. Anticipation floods me as he exhales close to my pussy. I’m lost to this decadent feeling. Lost to what they make me feel. When Finn rubs his thumb across my tightened nipple, my breath catches.
“You wanted to know how this was going to go?” Finn touches his lips to mine as Dante flicks his tongue out to swipe against my entrance.
My pussy pulses in need and I whimper against Finn’s lips.
“We’re going to fuck you until you can’t walk, and then fuck you more.
We’re not leaving this room until you can’t think straight from how many times you came on our fingers, our cocks, our tongues. ”
Dante thrusts his tongue, inside me and I gasp at the heat building within, threatening to engulf me in flames. Finn slides his tongue against my lip.
“If that’s not what you want, Sara, tell us now.
” Finn’s voice has an authority to it that makes sparks crackle through me.
Every inch of me is on fire as Dante’s large hands spread me so his tongue can torment my pussy, sliding in and tracing it.
Finn’s warm body presses against mine as he flicks my nipple with his thumb.
There’s nowhere else I want to be. No one else I want to spend time with than these four men and whatever deviant game they have for me to play. I’m all in and they are too. We’ll worry about what that means later. Right now, I want to feel them inside me. All of them.
I open my eyes and swallow against the need swelling inside me. “I want it all.”