Chapter 23
23
LAYLA
I pull up to the curb and shut off the engine as I stare up at the house. I really wish Bea would let me help. Aria’s grandmother is a stubborn old lady. She pretty much lets me do what I want for Aria; in fact, she encourages it. But when it comes to her own happiness or comfort, the buck stops there.
I’ve tried repeatedly to get her to let me hire someone to do some maintenance on her house, but she flat out refuses every time, saying I’m doing more than enough. I’ve tried to convince her that it would be in Aria’s best interest, but—as I said—Beatrice Crawford is a stubborn woman.
I’m here to pick up Aria. We are going to be spending the afternoon at an animal shelter nearby. Our job today is to help clean out the kennels and then play with some animals. It’s good for Aria to learn to give back, even if she doesn’t have much to be thankful for herself. When I spoke with her this morning, she was so excited, she told me she couldn’t wait for me to get here.
Right on cue, she comes bounding out the door with a big smile on her face and sparkling blue eyes. I step out of the car, and she barrels into me, giving me a big hug.
“Hi, Layla, what took so long? It feels like forever since you texted you were on your way.” She immediately turns and reaches for the door to the back seat. She’s still too little to sit in the front.
“Hold up a minute, hon, I just need to check in with your gran before we go.”
She waves me off and gets in the car. “She already knows. We need to get going. I don’t want to be late.” Her behavior is slightly agitated and more than a little odd. Aria is usually very polite. She huffs when I don’t move. “Fine. I’m going to wait here, but hurry up, okay?”
I assure her I will do just that before she pulls the door shut and stares at me through the passenger window. God, I love this kid like she’s my own, but something has certainly gotten into her today. Maybe she’s just excited about spending the day with a bunch of cute puppies and kitties.
When I get to the front door, I knock before I open it and step inside.
My nose scrunches up. The first thing I notice is the acrid smell of cigarette smoke that doesn’t belong in here. I frown. Bea doesn’t smoke, but Lanie does. It all makes sense now. Lanie is Bea’s daughter and Aria’s mother. What the fuck is she doing here? I’ve only met Lanie Crawford twice, and that was two times too many in my opinion.
I step further into the house. My eyes narrow as she comes into view. Lanie is slumped on the couch with her feet up on the coffee table next to an open bottle of booze. Her shirt is haphazardly buttoned, and her jeans are practically hanging off her emaciated frame. There’s a lit cigarette hanging from her lips, smoke curling towards the ceiling as she stares vacantly at the wall in front of her.
“Jesus Christ,” I mumble just as Bea comes out of the kitchen.
“Oh, Layla, I didn’t know you were coming in.” She glances over at Lanie who is still staring at the same spot on the wall. It’s obvious she’s consumed more than the cigarette hanging from her mouth and whatever is gone from the bottle on the table in front of her.
“Sorry, Bea, I knocked. I just wanted to make sure you knew I had Aria.” I look over at her daughter once more. “How long has she been here?”
“She showed up like that a couple of hours ago. Hasn’t said a word to either of us.” Bea has tried her best with Lanie, but the woman is beyond help. I don’t know the whole story, but apparently Lanie has always been a troubled soul. She started smoking and drinking in her early teens, and it escalated from there, despite Bea’s many attempts to intervene. Lanie hasn’t been around much since Aria’s dad went to prison, but she makes an impromptu appearance from time to time when she needs money. As soon as she gets what she’s looking for, she disappears once again.
“I’m sorry, Bea,” I say as I give her a hug. “You don’t deserve this. You might want to take her cigarettes away before she burns your house down, though. Is there any specific time you want Aria back? I might keep her a little longer today if that’s okay with you. She seems a little upset.”
“That’s probably a good idea. Aria hides it well, but I know she finds her mother’s presence upsetting, especially when Lanie acts like her daughter doesn’t exist. Go, have some fun. Keep her as long as you want. She shouldn’t have to see her mother like this, anyway.”
I nod. A moan from the living room catches our attention. Lanie is now slumped over on the couch. Her cigarette is lying on the blanket beside her.
“Oh dear,” Bea says as she starts to shuffle in that direction.
“I got it, Bea.” I stomp over and snatch up the cigarette which has already burned through the top threads of the blanket. I crush it out in the ashtray and pat down the blanket to make sure nothing is smouldering. Unfocused blue eyes so much like Aria’s stare up at me. Recognition filters through the fog.
“Fuck you, bitch,” she slurs as she tries to right herself.
“Lanie!” Bea’s stern voice interrupts her rant as she hurries over.
“Stay the fuck away from my kid…” She tries to get up but falls back onto her side and her eyes slowly drift shut.
“You should probably go,” Bea says, standing next to me. “Aria is waiting. I’ll take care of things here.” She reaches for the blanket and covers up her daughter, who is now dead to the world.
“Okay. I’ll call you before I bring Aria home.” She nods as she sits down beside her daughter and begins to rub her back. It breaks my heart to see this poor woman who still wants so badly to help her daughter, but can’t do a damn thing about it.
“Call me if you need anything.” I lean down and kiss her cheek before heading for the door. She’s right, Aria is waiting. Just as I reach the door, I hear Bea start to sing. It sounds like a lullaby. I slip out as quietly as I can.
Aria is quiet when I get back to the car. I glance in the rearview mirror. Bright blue eyes stare back at me. A defiant look mars her sweet little face. I want to ask if she’s okay, but I know she doesn’t want to talk about it. Not yet anyway. When she’s ready she’ll let me know.
“You ready to go play with some puppies?” I ask as I plaster on my happiest smile. It does the trick. Her frown turns into a smile and her eyes get just a little brighter.
“Yes. So ready. Let’s go, pleeease,” she answers excitedly.
Two hours later, I’m finishing up the last of the gross jobs , as Aria calls them. I’m not sure why she’s so grossed out, I’m the one who has done most of the work. I smile when I hear peals of laughter coming from the room next door.
“Hands down, that has got to be one of the cutest kids I’ve ever met,” Karen says as we spray down the last kennel. She’s been volunteering here almost as long as I have. The only difference is she is here a lot more than I am these days. It’s getting harder and harder to find the time, what with Aria, my job, my friends and family, and now Cole. I still manage to get here a couple of times a month, but it’s not nearly enough. I try to make up for my lack of attendance with financial donations. It’s the best I can do.
“She really is. It’s nice to hear her laugh like that. She had kind of a rough morning.” Karen knows all about Aria’s history. I’ve been bringing her here since the very beginning of our relationship.
“Shit. What now?”
“Her mom showed up this morning. Wasted. She couldn’t even be bothered to say hello to her own daughter. Aria hasn’t mentioned it yet, but I saw the carnage with my own eyes.”
“Christ, why does Bea keep letting her back in? Can’t she see what it does to her granddaughter?”
I shrug, remembering what I saw and heard as I walked out the door. “I suppose only someone who wears those shoes can answer that question. It would be hard to see your child turn out like that. Probably doesn’t matter how much time goes by or how destructive they can be. I’m sure a mother never gives up hope.”
“I suppose.”
“All that matters to me is that Aria is safe, and that she knows that she is loved, even if it’s not her mother who makes her feel that way.” I wind up the hose and slip it over the hook on the wall.
“All done. Now let’s go have some fun. I’m sure Aria will be happy to share her little friends with us.”
“I don’t want to go home yet,” Aria complains as we get into the car. It’s almost dinner time. I have a big meeting tomorrow morning that I need to get ready for, but I don’t have the heart to take her home yet either. Before I do that, I need to make sure Lanie is gone.
“Okay, how about we go to my place, I’ll make us some dinner. Then you can watch a movie while I do a little work.”
“Can I sleep over?” It’s not unusual for Aria to sleep over, but not when she has school the next day.
“You have school tomorrow, sweetie,” I remind her. Things have settled down since my last visit with the principal. Aria seems to have finally settled into her new school, and she is even making some friends. She’s usually excited to go.
“I know—but maybe you could take me in the morning,” she says hopefully. Big blue eyes fill my rearview mirror as I pull into traffic. It’s hard to say no to this kid.
“She might be gone by now,” I say as my eyes flit back and forth between her reflection in the mirror and the traffic in front of me. Her lashes drop, shuttering her eyes from my view.
“Aria.”
They blink open and she stares back at me. “You know you can talk to me about it if you want to, right?”
Her eyes drop again as she picks at some speck on her jacket. “I know… I hope she is gone. I hate her.” There is conviction in her voice. Her tiny chin starts to quiver but she refuses to let her tears fall. God, this girl is tough.
I pull into my parking spot and shut off the engine. I get out of the car and open the passenger door behind me and climb inside. “Come here, honey,” I say as I unbuckle her seatbelt. She crawls into my lap and hugs me tightly, and then—when she’s feeling safe and secure—the tears start to fall.
“Shh, it’s okay,” I say as I rock her in the back seat of my car.
“She didn’t even say hi,” she whimpers. “I haven’t seen her in so long, and she didn’t even talk to me. She hates me. She doesn’t even let me call her mom.” Racking sobs crash out of her little body, causing my eyes to brim with unshed tears of my own.
“She doesn’t hate you, honey. She’s sick and doesn’t even know what she’s doing most of the time. I know it hurts when your mom acts like this, but I promise she loves you. She just doesn’t remember how to show it.”
“Why can’t you be my mom?” The question catches me completely off guard. I have no idea how to answer. She pushes away and wipes her eyes as she stares at me— waiting. Shit.
“Well…then I wouldn’t get to be your Big Sister.”
She bobs her head up and down, contemplating my words. “But, if you were my mom, I wouldn’t need a Big Sister,” she finally whispers. She’s not wrong. Once again, I’m at a loss for words.
“Aria...”
“What happens if Gran dies?” she blurts out. Her eyes grow impossibly huge, and I can see fear swirling in their depths as they start to fill with a fresh onslaught of tears. “Will I have to go live with her? What about school? I don’t want to live with her, Layla,” she sobs as she starts to panic.
“Shh.” I wrap my arms a little tighter around her and plant kisses to the top of her head. “You won’t have to go live with her, I promise. Your gran is not going anywhere, so you don’t have to worry about that right now.”
“She’s sick.” Her voice goes up an octave. “She doesn’t tell people, but I’ve seen her coughing into napkins. There’s blood.” She breaks into sobs. “I don’t want Gran to die.”
Aria is almost inconsolable at this point. “Shh.” I rock her back and forth as my mind races a mile a minute. I knew that Bea hasn’t been well, but I didn’t know it was this bad. I’m going to have to talk to her about what arrangements she’s made for Aria, just in case.
I continue to rock Aria which seems to calm her down. Finally, her breathing changes and her weight settles. She’s asleep. I’m trying to figure out how to get her upstairs without waking her up when someone knocks softly on my window. I glance up to see Cole standing on the other side. I nod and he opens the door quietly.
“Need a hand?” He reaches in and gently scoops Aria into his arms. She doesn’t even stir, she just snuggles into his chest and continues to sleep as he steps back, giving me room to get out. I gather our things and lock my car.
“Thanks. She had a rough start to the day. It finally caught up with her and she had a bit of a meltdown.”
Cole looks down at the little girl in his arms. “What happened?”
“Her mother happened. I need to get her settled upstairs, and then I need to call her grandmother. I’m not taking her back if Lanie is still there.” Decision made. We reach the elevator and I slap the button, wishing it was Lanie Crawford. Cole grins and I can’t help grinning back. He likes this side of me.
“Uh, can you do that? Arbitrarily decide that you aren’t taking her home? I’m pretty sure that constitutes kidnapping, or at least abduction.”
“Don’t care,” I say as we step inside. Aria is still zonked out in Cole’s arms. “Bea knows how upsetting this is for Aria. She doesn’t want her around her mother any more than I do. It’ll be fine.”
“So why let the bitch back into the kid’s life then?” he asks as we step out of the elevator, being careful to keep his voice to a low rumble.
“It’s complicated. You can lay her down on the spare bed. Please take her shoes off and cover her up. I’ll let her sleep for a little bit while I call Bea, and then make dinner. Would you like to stay?”
“I can stay,” he answers from down the hall.
I call Bea who tells me that Lanie took off as soon as she came to, and Bea mentioned rehab. She doesn’t expect her to be back anytime soon. Okay, so at least Aria can go home. That’s good.
“I hope you don’t think I’m overstepping my role in Aria’s life, Bea, but she mentioned something today which has her quite upset, and I feel the need to address it with you.”
“I know this morning was upsetting for Aria. She usually keeps these things bottled up, so I’m glad she was willing to talk to you. What did she say?”
Jeez, this is hard. I don’t know Beatrice Crawford very well, and I have no right to pry into her private business, but this concerns Aria, and therefore it concerns me. “Aria mentioned that you haven’t been well. To be honest, I had noticed that the past few months, you haven’t looked quite as healthy as usual.” I forge on. I’m in it now so I might as well spit it out.
“Aria noticed some blood on your Kleenex after you cough. She’s worried that you’re going to die, and she’ll have to go live with her mother. I think you know as well as I do, that can’t happen. What’s wrong, Bea? Is there anything I can do to help?”
The line is silent. I wait, but I’m only greeted with more silence.
“Bea?”
“Sorry, Layla, I wasn’t expecting that. I’m—well—as you’ve guessed, not well. I have lung cancer. I’ve been going for treatments when Aria is at school, but it all takes time. I haven’t been given a prognosis yet. I suppose that’s a good sign, or at least, I’m taking it as one.”
“Jesus, I’m so sorry, Bea. I know I’ve already offered, but if there’s anything at all I can do to help, please don’t hesitate to ask.”
She chuckles, but it’s not a happy chuckle. “You can keep doing what you’ve been doing with respect to Aria. I haven’t seen her this happy in years. She’s thriving, and I have you to thank for that, Layla. Don’t worry about me. I’m a tough old bird and I’m not ready to check out just yet.”
“That’s good to hear, Bea. The offer still stands, though. With respect to Aria…if something were to happen to you…”
“I’m working on that, Layla. I can assure you, if something happens to me, Lanie won’t get custody of Aria. I’m her legal guardian, and what I say goes. Lanie no longer has a say when it comes to her daughter.”
There isn’t much more I can say, Aria isn’t mine. “Okay, Bea. She’s having a little nap. Once she wakes up, I’ll feed her and then I’ll bring her home. Do you need me to pick up anything on the way?”
“No, but thank you for asking. I’ll see you in a couple of hours.” She hangs up. I set my phone down on the island and drop my head into my hands. Jesus, what a mess. Strong hands grip my shoulders and start to massage.
“Mmm, that feels good.”
“What’s the word? Are we keeping her tonight, or am I driving her home?” I turn and his hands drop to my waist, pulling me in so he can brush his lips against mine.
“Coast is clear. Her mother took off. Probably with whatever cash Bea had on hand. Doesn’t matter…not my problem. I can take Aria home after I feed her. She’s not your responsibility, Cole.” Hurt flashes across his face. Damn it. “Shit, sorry. That came out wrong. I just meant that I don’t expect you to drive her home, and her poor old gran might have a heart attack if you knocked on her door.”
He leans in and brushes his lips against mine again. “What if I want to? I like the kid. She’s kinda grown on me.”
Huh, just one more surprise from the enigmatic Cole Hendrix.
“Well, by all means, feel free to drive her home. But I’m coming with you, because I have to see for myself that her mother isn’t there.”