Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
Lila
By the time I reached my office, my tears had stopped. Well, I’d never truly allowed them to fall tonight; I mean, putting on that eyeliner was a complete bitch, and I didn’t want to ruin it. But the tears had been threatening all through that conversation with Mr. Matthew Albright.
Now, though?
Now I’d swallowed down that sorrow, that hopelessness…and what had emerged was anger.
Maddie was right.
I’d been so focused on trying to be perfect that I thought I had to handle everything myself.
Maddie’s reminder to talk to Daddy about it was a good one, and I told myself that if I could just make it through five minutes on the ice, pretending not to love Kardok, then maybe Daddy could help us figure this all out.
Together.
Imagine my surprise when I took a shaky breath and pushed open the door to my office, only to find my father pacing back and forth in front of my desk.
I stopped short. “Daddy!”
He swung around, his look of worry turning to profound relief. “There you are! I was hoping, when I saw the skating costume hanging in your washroom, that meant you’d be coming back here before the exhibition.”
Curious, I pushed the door closed behind me. “Why? What’s wrong?” Why did he need to see me before the performance? “I don’t have long to get ready.”
“You don’t need long.” His lips slowly curved into a fond smile as he looked me over. “You are stunning, as always, Lila, and that has nothing to do with what you’re wearing or how long you took on your hair or makeup.”
I was starting to blush again and waved dismissively. “Of course you think that. All fathers think that.”
Smiling, he crossed the room to take my hand, tugging me gently toward my desk. “And all fathers are correct. But I mean it, Pumpkin. You’re perfect, just the way you are.”
Oh dear, I was moving into tomato territory with the blush now. “Daddy.”
“Clearly I don’t say it enough. You don’t need to strive toward perfection, because I love you for yourself, Lila. Here, sign this.”
Blinking at the change in topic, I glanced down at the folio he pointed at. It was one of those leather-bound ones full of legal mumbo jumbo. Peering down at it, I saw some whereas, a few therefores, and a bunch of language about square footage and easements.
When I glanced at my father, he was standing there, holding a pen out to me.
Bemused, I took it, wondering why he needed me to sign what was obviously a real estate deal moments before I was due to skate in front of four hundred donors.
“Here.” He pointed, and I signed my name with the same careful flourish I’d perfected years ago in business school. “And here.” He flipped the page, his finger jabbing the paper. “Initial here, here and here…and sign and date here.”
I did as he asked, noting that he’d signed his name and the date above mine on the last line.
Capping the pen, I handed it back to him with a teasing grin. “There. Satisfied?”
My father nodded firmly, and as he slid the pen back into his breast pocket, said, “You did that without even reading the contract.”
I had a flash of concern—should I have read it? Was he criticizing me? But then I exhaled and told myself that the knots in my stomach were making me antsy.
“Of course,” I said simply. “I trust you.”
“No you don’t.”
Before I could object to the sudden hardness in his tone, or his words, my father reached out and took my hands in both of his, forcing me to look him in the eyes.
“You don’t trust me, Pumpkin. You don’t trust me enough to trust that I love you exactly as you are.
” He squeezed my hands, his eyes shining with—were those tears?
I don’t think I’d ever seen my father cry before, not even when his marriages fell apart.
“You’re messy—we’re all messy. Hell, Lila, I’m the messiest person I know, when it comes to my personal life, and you still love me. ”
My heart was pounding against my ribcage, and all I could think about was comforting him. “Of course I love you, Daddy.”
“You love me despite how screwed up I am—”
“Maybe I love you because of that,” I tried to tease, but knew my smile fell short.
Because maybe it was the truth; maybe I’d tried so hard all these years to be perfect because I wanted him to have something to be proud of when his marriages were in disarray.
The rueful tug of his lips told me that he’d heard the unspoken words, and his hands squeezed mine.
“You love me, despite all that shit, Pumpkin. So I need you to believe me that I’ll love you even if you’re not perfect.” He sighed. “All those years, all those lessons, all the training…I thought it was what you wanted. You went through that pretty princess stage, and…”
“And I never really grew out of it,” I finished, my smile turning wry. “You’re right, Daddy. I do like feeling all prim and proper and refined. But…” I shrugged, remembering how good it felt to hit the target with the thrown ax. “Not all the time.”
“You shouldn’t have to feel perfect all the time. You should feel comfortable falling apart sometimes and letting the people closest to you see you like that.”
Kardok had seen me like that. I could feel my cheeks heating as I remembered the other ways Kardok had seen me, and I dropped my gaze to my father’s chin, hoping he couldn’t see what I was thinking.
From his snort, it was a vain hope. “Maybe I could be the other person you let see you as less than perfect?” he asked gently.
I wondered how he’d known.
He blew out a breath. “Lila, you don’t need to be perfect. Not for me, not for anyone. Kardok and I both love you just the way you are.”
My gaze had snapped back up to his identical blue one at the mention of Kardok’s name, and the denial was on my lips before I could think it through. “He doesn’t—he hasn’t… What do you mean?”
Daddy’s lips curled. “He hasn’t told you he loves you?” He sounded amused. “Trust me, that male loves you, and I hope to Christ you love him, because that’ll solve a whole heap of ass pain.”
My brows had risen to hear him speak so crudely. “What?”
“Do you love Kardok, Pumpkin?”
“I—yes, of course I do.” I shook my head. “What are you talking about?”
His grin growing, Daddy pulled his hands from mine and gently turned me to the desk. He flipped the leather folio closed, and I saw it was embossed with Fairbanks Enterprises Real Estate Division before he scooped it up and offered it to me.
Frowning, I glanced from the seal to his smile, and back again.
This felt…important.
“Daddy?” I whispered.
“I had the legal department go through the OHL rules, and they said that they’re pretty firm. I can’t rent rink time to the Terrors if my daughter is dating one of their players.”
A lump grew in my throat to match all the knots in my stomach. “I know,” I whispered.
His index finger unfurled to rest gently on the leather folio in my arms. “And it becomes even murkier if the player dates the owner of the ice complex where they practice.”
Confused, I searched his face for clues. “Were you planning on dating Kardok?”
I could tell he was enjoying this. “I just sold you the Bramblebluff Ice Complex, Pumpkin. This place”—he gestured around him with his free hand, taking in the office and the rinks below. “It belongs to you now.”
I couldn’t speak, couldn’t breathe. I felt as if all the air had been knocked from my chest. “Daddy?” I croaked.
His hands landed on my upper arms, pulling me toward him. “This place has always been yours, after all.”
I rested against his chest in shock, the folio pressed between us, and he kissed my temple.
“That’s the paperwork. We’ll have to get it processed, of course, but now the ice complex belongs to you. And if you marry Kardok, then the complex will be co-owned by a member of the team, which means this place will continue to be the Terrors’ home, and he doesn’t have to quit the team.”
I was still reeling from the way he’d casually gifted me something so significant, but his words cut through that daze. “Marry?” I croaked, pulling away from him and trying again. “What do you mean quit the team?”
Daddy grinned at me. “That boyfriend of yours was considering it, if it would mean being with you.”
Slowly, my eyes widened at what that must mean. “He does love me,” I whispered.
“Oh, Pumpkin, I’ve never seen a male more in love with a female, and that’s coming from a guy who is working on convincing Wife Number Five.”
I didn’t register that last line, I was too busy shaking my head. “But—but Kardok…he’s never said…”
“Have you told him you love him?” my father smirked.
“No.” I suddenly remembered everything pressing on us, and glanced toward the door. “The exhibition!”
“Right.” My father pulled me close for a peck on the forehead. “Forget the OHL’s rules for tonight, Lila. You love Kardok, and he loves you, and you’re going to be able to be together.”
Together.
I gasped as I realized what my father had done. He’d fixed it! Just as Maddie had said, I should have gone to him from the beginning. The folio hit the floor as I threw my arms around my father’s shoulders.
“Thank you! Oh, thank you, Daddy!”
I felt him squeeze me, and he made a noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob, then he was setting me away from him. There were tears in his eyes and a big smile on his lips as he nudged me toward the door.
“Go. Skate your heart out, Pumpkin. I’ll always be cheering you on, because you’re perfect.”
Perfect. The two males in my life thought I was perfect, just the way I was.
I blew him a kiss on the way out the door.
“I love you!” I called, and I thought he might have called it back to me, but I was already running for the stairs.
My skates were in my locker, and I’d missed my chance to change into my pink skating costume, but the black-and-teal cocktail gown I wore would work, thanks to the shorts I wore beneath it.
Would I be able to find Kardok before the routine began? I hoped so. I wanted to tell him I loved him, and kiss him, and if we had time, explain my father’s plan.
And ask him to marry me, I suppose.
But when I finished tying on my skates and going through an abbreviated warm up and stepped out onto the pads, I knew I was too late.
The music for our routine had already begun, and Joshua was waving me frantically out onto the ice.
And there, on the opposite end of the rink, Kardok skated alone.