Chapter 11
CHAPTER 11
VAL
Sweet mother of God, I wanted this man.
I slipped my hands inside Stefano's pants, but he grabbed my wrists in one of his hands and raised them above my head before letting go. Before I could even think about my next move, he lifted me and carried me to his desk.
Then, with one swipe of his injured arm, he cleared the desk of everything. Everything flew off the edge and clattered to the floor. A lamp, his laptop computer, countless papers.
He lay me on the cold wood and loomed above me.
At the onset of his swift tantrum, my robe had dropped to the floor, leaving me open and exposed. Vulnerable.
At his mercy.
The heat of his gaze burned into my body.
When we’d been together years before, I let him take the lead. I let him spend as much time as he wanted exploring my body, and we learned together what I liked, what I didn't, what made me moan, and what coaxed the most exquisite pleasure from deep inside me.
In a very short while, Stefano had mastered my body.
But this was nothing like that. Or it wouldn’t be, because I wanted to overwhelm him now, the way he had done to me.
I might not have been as experienced as he was, but I wasn’t the na?ve girl in my twenties anymore. And besides, I’d devoured so many spicy romance novels over the years after reading to Enzo and getting him to bed.
I had a few ideas, thanks to those spicy romance books.
Stefano would soon find out I’d grown into a woman who knew how to take what she wanted, and now… I wanted power. Control. I wanted to make him feel as helpless as I did every time he kissed me.
This time I wanted him to be the one overwhelmed and lost. And I wanted the loss of control he experienced to come from me, my fingers, my tongue, my body. Even just this once.
He stood over me at the end of his desk, his hand on his jaw as he stared at me, drinking in my naked body with his eyes.
Everything about me had changed since he last saw me without my clothes, but if the weight of his blazing-hot stare was any sign, he still found me appealing.
Biting my bottom lip, I cupped my breasts and lifted them in a little tease. Then I pinched my nipples.
He watched me, his cock so hard it tented his black slacks.
I began caressing myself, my curves.
A trail of goose bumps raised over my skin.
Stefano’s gaze met mine, and I held it, matching him stare for stare while bending my knees to put my feet flat on the desk.
His dark eyes got wider as I spread my legs so slowly, letting them fall open and expose every inch of me. I slid my hands down between my thighs and touched myself.
“Do you still want me, ace?”
A term of endearment from our past.
No words from him. He growled.
His eyes followed my fingers as I circled my clit.
In the back of my mind, I had to wonder how I’d suddenly become so shameless and daring. I’d only ever revealed my naked self to Stefano, yet something inside me that I couldn’t define made me feel like I’d done this a million times.
His eyes filled with hunger.
He needed me as badly as I needed him.
Just once, I wanted to be the sort of woman who could have a man like Stefano and meet his bravado step for step. Just this once, I wanted to do whatever the fuck I wanted.
Including him.
If my plans to escape worked, I wouldn’t have to deal with him for very long anyway. I would never see him again.
That thought made the moment even more exciting.
I arched my back and moaned. I’d already been so wet after the way he kissed me.
“Say it,” I said. “Tell me.”
Stefano flattened his hands flat on either side of my hips.
“Yes, I want you, Val. But you can’t really think I don't know what you're doing.”
Unsure if it was his ability to stay so focused or the pace of my fingers, but I involuntarily sucked in a sharp little breath.
“What am I doing?” I asked.
His eyes flashed from dark to dangerous. He licked his lips.
“You’re a silly little girl, Valerie. You think you can seduce me and make me believe you can handle everything on your own? You think you don't need my help? That you’re smarter than me. Stronger than me. That I can't provide for you or take care of your needs.”
“I’m taking care of things just fine on my own now, aren’t I? I’ve been doing it for ten years, and I'm getting damn good. Do you want to see?” I teased.
He growled again, then gripped my thighs and yanked me to the edge of the desk.
“There are many things I want to see,” he said, watching my fingers work. “But right now I'm going to show you something, then you’ll understand that I’ll always do everything better. Everything, Valerie.”
Forcing my hand out of his way, he dropped his face between my thighs and sucked hard on my clit. And then, with each flick of his tongue, he sent wave after wave of intense pleasure through me.
“Oh… fuck…” I breathed.
I reached for the edges of the desk to hold on.
His mouth on me was so much better than I remembered. This time, he fucked me with his tongue harder and faster to prove his point.
He drew more pleasure from my body faster than I thought was possible. He slid his hands over my stomach, up to my breasts, where he pinched and stroked my nipples while continuing his hot oral assault.
A warm, tingling flush raced through my body almost as quickly as my heart pounded. I knew even my cheeks burned bright red by then.
The pressure inside my core rose higher as he pushed me closer to the edge. My thighs shook, and I was so close to shattering when he stopped and straightened, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
No, no. Why did he stop?
I raised my head and immediately wanted to slap the smirk right off his face.
“Are you ready to admit you’re wrong?” he asked. “Everything is so much better—and safer—when you're not trying to do it all your way like some stubborn little brat.”
“Absolutely not,” I said. “I know how to finish the job?—”
He lunged and grabbed my throat, pressing my back against the desk again, pinning me there while his other hand swept down between my thighs. Two of his fingers filled me.
“You know I won’t put up with such poor behavior,” he snarled. “You’re going to show me that you can be a good girl, Val. And you’re going to admit things will be better with my involvement.”
His fingers curled inside me, pressing up and right into that sweet, sweet spot.
I moaned. My eyes might have rolled back.
Stefano’s hand on my throat tightened. He wanted to make it clear he was the one in control.
I could breathe, yes, but my breaths were shallow. The intensity of my other sensations flared to unimaginable heights. My lips tingled, my head swam, my core tightened as he set a steady pace, pushing into me, and teasing that spot inside me.
“Admit it,” he said. “Admit your life would’ve been much easier if you hadn't cut me out.”
I gasped for more air and pushed through the waves of pleasure flooding through my body. I managed two words.
“Fuck you.”
“Ah, I see time hasn’t cleaned up that mouth of yours. I hope for your sake our son doesn’t hear you talk like that.”
I wanted him to let me orgasm. I wanted to let him. I wanted to give in, to feel him completely control my body, to keep holding me down while knowing I hadn't given him my submission, because he’d taken it.
I knew he was strong enough to overpower me. And deep down, I knew he had the strength and the means to protect me and our son.
If I let him.
I wished I had the luxury of making that choice.
But he’d had to bring our son into it.
So I arched my back, still loving the way my body tightened for him, and then I kicked him. My heel hit the center of his chest, and just like that, his hold on me broke.
No hand on my throat. No fingers inside me.
Stefano staggered back a few steps.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he roared.
I slipped off the desk and strode toward him, exaggerating the sway of my hips with every step. I was already naked. No reason to be shy about it now.
A red flush covered his face, and his lips curled into a furious snarl. I grabbed the back of his head before he could retaliate, pulling his hair, and brought his mouth to mine.
Still kissing, I pulled him toward the desk and pushed him down into the chair.
To take back control, he shoved his hands through my hair to pull my mouth harder against his. Then he broke our kiss.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he demanded.
I slid my hand into his slacks and took hold of his hard cock. Such a beautiful cock.
“Just proving things are better when I handle them myself.”
Part of me had wondered for years if I let my imagination get the best of me, but now I had proof in hand. The memory or my imagination or whatever hadn’t done him justice… Yes, Stefano was quite a big boy.
My fingertips and thumb didn’t even come close as I stroked him.
He grunted and pushed into my hand.
“You're playing with fire, little girl,” he warned.
“If you say so, daddy.”
A serious groan vibrated in his throat.
Preparing to align my body with his and ride him until I got my orgasm, I moved up on his lap.
“Uh-uh… I don't think so.”
He got up, taking me with him, and slammed my ass down on the desk so hard it would probably leave a bruise.
“Only good girls get to ride my cock. Here’s what happens to goddamn brats like you… you get fucked like one.”
He dug his fingers into my thighs and flipped me around so fast, putting my feet on the floor, my ass in the air, and my chest on the desktop. He used his foot to spread my feet apart.
He pressed himself against me, grabbing a fistful of my hair. When he pulled it, I couldn’t help but arch my back.
“Are you going to admit it and tell me you know everything would have been better if you hadn't fucked it up?”
“I didn't fuck up anything,” I said. “I did what I had to do, and I took what I wanted, and that hasn't changed.”
I shoved my hips back, impaling myself on his erection, taking it as deep as I could with that one thrust.
Stefano groaned with pleasure, and I moaned, burying my face in my arms, overwhelmed by how much he stretched me. It felt amazing, better than anything—like coming home but with the smallest bit of pain.
After a few breaths, I arched my back again and pushed against him, riding him while he had me bent over his desk.
“See? So much better my way,” I muttered.
“We'll see about that.”
He pushed me flat against the desk again, this time pinning me down with one hand pressed on the center of my back.
Then he smacked my ass.
Hard.
He pulled out halfway, smacked the other side of my ass, and then thrust back inside me in one strong motion. I had to bite my lip to stop from screaming while he fucked me and spanked me.
“See? You even like being punished by me. I can feel your tight little pussy squeezing my cock, pulsing with need.”
“Oh fuck,” I groaned.
What else could I have said?
He was right.
I hated that he was right, but I couldn't deny it.
The more he spanked me, the more he took control and fucked me, the closer I drew to what had to be the strongest orgasm I had ever had.
I was about to lose our little game. I couldn’t let it happen.
So I tried to stand up, but his hand on my back kept me down. I had to get creative… I reached between my legs and grabbed his balls as he kept fucking me.
“Fuuuck. Don't do that,” he snarled.
“Just proving it's better my way,” I said over my shoulder.
Stefano abruptly pulled out of me and stepped back.
I stood up, not wanting to waste the opportunity, but he pushed me back down on the desk, onto my back. He grabbed both my wrists and pinned them above my head before angling his hips and thrusting into me again.
“Why do you have to make everything so difficult, Valerie?”
I couldn't move. And I didn't want to.
This was even better. I could still feel every single inch of him sliding in and out of me, brushing against the most sensitive parts of my body, but now I could watch him. I got to see the focus and determination in his wicked, dark eyes.
He transferred my wrists into just one hand and slid the other down to my breasts and tweaked my nipples a few times before continuing down to my clit.
“I wanted to be sweet with you. I wanted to be loving. I wanted to show you that you don’t have to do any of this alone, that I’m here for you and our son. But you always have to be such a stubborn little bitch.
“I could have taken you on a bed of feathers and silks and made love to you for hours, but you had to be a damn brat, didn’t you? Now you’ve reduced it to me fucking you like a whore on top of this desk.”
The pressure in my core built higher and higher, taking with it all the stress, all the frustration, all the fear, all the worry. All of it replaced by my muscles tensing, preparing for the explosion Stefano was about to draw from my body.
I gasped. “Don't stop.”
“You don't give the orders. I’ll tell you when you can come.”
He ran his thumb in tight circles as he thrust inside me, harder and harder, over and over.
Sweat beaded on his brow, his jaw tight with concentration as he made me feel things I didn't know were possible.
“Now be a good girl and come for me,” he growled through his gritted teeth.
My body obeyed him. As my vision faded, the most incredible release of my life overtook me. Wave after wave of pleasure licked up my spine and radiated through my limbs.
Stefano’s roar of satisfaction followed me over the edge.
I closed my eyes to ride out the waves. The next thing I knew, I lay stretched out over Stefano's body, both of us on the sofa in the sitting area of his office.
He kissed the top of my head, and when he spoke, his voice got softer, becoming almost a whisper.
“I’ll break you every time, Val. Tell me what I want to hear.”
“Tell you what?” I asked, not wanting to be fooled by his docile tone.
Even lions could be docile when not stalking their prey.
“That it's better when you're not alone.”
“Fine,” I sighed. “It feels better when you fuck me than when I masturbate.”
I rolled my eyes at him, and when he laughed, I couldn't help but laugh with him.
Somehow, I felt lighter. All my problems were still there. They still needed to be dealt with. My plans hadn't changed, but at the moment, that didn’t have to be my priority.
For the first time in I didn't even know how long, I could just be in that moment, not looking over my shoulder or worrying about what or who waited around the next corner. I could just be a woman enjoying the carefree afterglow of sex with a man.
“I hate how good this feels,” I admitted as I traced the patterns on his chest.
He’d had a lot of ink added over the years.
His fingers played absently with my hair. How nice it felt to be the one being taken care of for a change. I couldn't remember the last time someone held me like this.
Actually, I could. It was the last time I slept with Stefano.
“Why do you hate it?” he asked. “This is what I used to dream about. Just being with you like this, all our problems on the other side of the door. I fantasized about this for the longest time. The only reason I stopped is because it hurt.”
Surprised, I looked up at his face to find a slightly panicked expression as he stared back at me. I didn’t think he’d meant to say all that out loud. I rested my head on his chest again and listened to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.
Since he’d given me a truth, it only seemed fair for me to give him one too.
“That's why,” I told him. “Because I know it can't last.”
He answered with a non-committal rumble in his chest.
I took it as a request to change the subject, so I did.
“So what else did you and my…”
I cleared my throat and tried again.
“What else did you and Enzo talk about?”
“Not much. He told me a little about school. I told him some stuff about my family but kept it vague. Not sure what you would want him to know.”
I nodded, appreciating his efforts to defer to me.
“He mentioned you haven't dated.”
“That’s true. Enzo comes first. And dating as a single mom isn't very easy, especially when I don't trust other people to watch him.”
Another low grumble in the back of his throat was Stefano’s only reply while his fingers slid through my hair and down my back.
“This isn't the life I wanted either. When I was with you, and I told you my last name was Salvatore, it wasn't because I wanted to lie to you. I was lying to myself. I was giving myself a moment to live the life I wanted. For a while, it looked like maybe I could.”
I knew no one ever escaped the mafia. Not really. But I also wanted to keep him talking, because in the morning, everything would be different again.
“Really?” I asked.
“Yeah. I was the second son. I fought for the ability… for the luxury of living my life the way I chose to. But after you left me, everything changed.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
I was afraid to move or say too much and risk him changing his mind and clamming up again.
“I wasn't going to just let you go,” he continued. “I was going to fight for us. I was going to explain that my father's world wasn’t my world. It didn't need to be. I had an older brother who would follow in my father's footsteps and take over the family business.
“But my father made a play for a seat on the Commission. He would have been the king of kings in New York. The don of dons. Turned out somebody else wanted it more.”
My heart broke for him. I knew his pain. I knew how it felt.
“The night you sent back the necklace with the letter telling me you didn't want to be with me… was the same night another boss decided they wanted what my father was about to have. So they abducted him and my brother. Beaten and executed together, they were left dead in the middle of the street.
“My mother made me swear to avenge them after that. It was one of the last things she said to me before the grief became too much and she… joined them. In death. I knew then there was no escape from this life. So I decided instead to focus on the revenge I promised my mother.”
My lungs seized as the agony in my heart sharpened. I heard the pain in his voice, how it wasn't his father's execution or even his brother’s that hurt him so much, but the knowledge that their deaths had broken his mother.
And that his mother had abandoned him in her grief.
I wondered for a moment what would have happened if I hadn't sent him that letter, if I hadn’t abandoned him too. Would his life have turned out differently?
It didn't really matter anymore, I supposed.
What had happened had happened. No amount of daydreaming in a post-sex haze was going to change it.
“Is that who’s after Enzo now?” I asked.
“I don't know. It’s possible, but it doesn't make much sense. I’ll do everything I can to find who’s targeting you two, but right now I just don't know. I explained to Enzo that being my son comes with risks. He was amenable to taking precautions to protect not only himself but you as well.”
I nodded. That sounded like Enzo.
Stefano let out a deep chuckle.
“You know, that kid sees more than most people. When I told him about that, he asked me if that's why I didn't have a wife and any legitimate children.”
“Is it?” I asked, looking up at him.
“Yes,” he admitted. “I wouldn't have agreed to marry Benedetta if she didn’t agree children were off the table for us.”
The reminder that he was engaged to another woman hit me like a bucket of ice water.
The soft warmth of our afterglow disappeared, and I remembered I was lying naked on a man who didn't belong to me.
“Could it have been her?” I wondered aloud.
“What?”
“Your fiancée. I know you said she didn't want kids or whatever, but could she be lying about that? Maybe she thinks things will change between you two, and with Enzo in the picture… that makes him a threat.”
“It’s not her,” he said.
“But are you sure? Are you sure she's not looking for a way out of your engagement? I mean, that's what the note demanded, right? Given your position, I'm assuming she's a mafia princess, so she didn't really agree to this wedding. She was informed. Could she be trying to get out of it?”
“No, I don't think so.”
Still reclined on the sofa, he reached out and tried to pull me back into his arms, but I was already on my feet, then pacing the room, my mind going a million miles an hour.
I grabbed the robe—another woman's robe—and slid it over my naked body.
“Look, this was a mistake. It shouldn't have happened.”
“Val, calm down,” Stefano said, sitting up.
“Calm down? You’re engaged to someone else, and I’m not a home-wrecker. I’m not this kind of person. Please forget this happened between us. Just find out who’s after my son and take care of it.”
“Our son,” he corrected.
“God, just find out who’s trying to kill him, Stefano. You can start with your fiancée and anyone else who would benefit from your wedding not happening.”
I turned on my heel to leave him.
Again.