Chapter 30
CHAPTER 30
VAL
My body trembled with cold. So much cold.
We were moving.
A smooth ride this time, no musty stench, no confinement.
Strong arms cradled me, warming me like a familiar security blanket I never wanted to give up.
I opened my eyes.
Beautiful eyes stared back at me. Not one pair of beautiful eyes but two pairs, so much the same and yet so different.
Dark blue, worried, hardened.
Dark blue, worried, innocent.
A hand pressed down hard on my arm.
Pressure but no pain.
Only cold, cold blood. But without the pain…
Was I alive?
Blurs of light sped past.
My eyelids grew heavy again, so I let them close.
My mind faded back into dark oblivion.
The jostling of my body and my flailing arms pulled me back into a distant awareness again.
I opened my eyes and met Stefano’s gaze as he carried me in his arms, holding me against the warmth of his chest.
His breath pumped in and out. He was running.
His woodsy scent with its notes of whiskey and a spicy floral, iris maybe, overwhelmed my senses.
Proof I still lived.
He shouted at someone, his deep timber echoing through me as if he stood at the opposite end of a long, empty tunnel.
I wanted to say something, anything, but I couldn’t push out enough breath to form any words.
Then his warmth left me. His eyes. His scent. Gone.
He’d let me go.
Please come back.
Wait. A cold, hard surface. I lay on his desk.
The thought gave me a fleeting moment of happiness.
And then I lost myself to that fucking darkness again.
Searing hot pain burst through my arm, shooting up through my shoulder, and I screamed.
I was definitely alive and now wide awake.
The cold left me, everything becoming hot and wet and sticky. Sweat covered every part of me, which kind of didn’t make sense because my entire body trembled and shook.
An older man with white hair stood over me, studying my arm with small magnifying attachments on each lens of his eyeglasses. Stefano’s private physician.
“Hang in there, kiddo. Not much longer,” he said. “I found the bullet. Now we must get it out.”
With great effort, I rolled my head to the side and focused my gaze on Stefano. He sat beside me, holding my hand between his own strong hands.
The tube attached to my wrist with layers of medical tape had an enormous needle going into my arm. Not the normal tubing you would see with a standard IV but thicker, with dark liquid running through it into my vein.
I sucked in a sharp breath and stared at Stefano.
The line in my arm came straight from his.
“You lost a lot of blood,” he said.
“Are you… umm…”
I couldn't remember my question.
Haziness muddled my thoughts, like I had to force them through a thick fog before my words could come out.
The one thing that came through loud and clear?
The pain. I would take the pain, though. All of it. Because it meant I had lived to see another day for my son.
Stefano asked and answered my question.
“A universal donor? Yes.”
Sweet mother of Christ, was he trying to hold back a smirk?
“Squeeze my hand, Val,” he added, “until the anesthesia takes you under again.”
I blinked, not able to manage even a nod.
But where was Enzo?
“My son?”
“Our son… is safe in his room, cleaning up. I didn't want him to see this, to see you hurting like this. He’ll be back soon.”
“Okay,” I whispered.
If nothing else, I approved of the way Stefano had handled that part of the whole mess.
I absolutely did not want Enzo to see me like this.
I didn't want to see myself like this.
So I just shut my eyes while the doctor pushed the anesthesia into my arm.
Then I drifted away again.
When I woke from the anesthesia, Stefano had me tucked into his bed and surrounded with his expensive down pillows and silk sheets.
I didn’t know how long I’d been out, but the plush mattress made me want to sink in deeper and go back to sleep.
My arm throbbed like crazy, though, and hunger pangs burned the lining of my stomach.
I needed food and painkillers. And an enormous glass of water. The impossible dryness in my throat brought a new kind of agony, adding to the miserable mix.
With more effort than it should have taken, I wiggled myself to the edge of the bed, got to my feet, and stumbled to the door.
My head spun, and my vision blurred. I braced myself on the doorframe for a minute before I could stand straight and focus my eyes.
Only then did I realize I wore the same Neiman Marcus robe from my first night in Stefano’s house. How long ago had that been? Two nights? More?
Gathering myself together, I pulled the sides of my robe around me, tied the belt, and opened the door. Then I made my way down the hallway, keeping one hand on the wall so I didn’t fall on my face. Every step made my legs tremble, and the dizziness increased. I stopped several times to catch my breath.
I didn't know how long it took me to get downstairs, but at least I didn’t run into anyone along the way. The journey literally left me in worse shape than when I’d started out.
But I couldn’t just stay in bed.
When I got to the kitchen, Stefano sat alone at the island, eating the last orange spice cookie while staring at his phone.
“Where’s my son?” I asked.
Stefano stood. “Our son… is getting gun safety training.”
I heaved a shaky sigh.
“Why are you teaching a nine-year-old to play with guns?”
“I'm teaching a nine-year-old to never play with weapons and making sure he understands why. I planned to make him wait until he turned thirteen, same as me. But after all that’s happened, I can see he’s stubborn enough to find a gun himself and try to figure it out on his own. Training him now is safer.”
“You could just tell him no.”
Boss man arched an eyebrow.
“That word means very little to him. I don’t know if that’s on you or him, but it needs to be addressed. I told him no when he wanted to help me find you. I told him no when he wanted to enter that house with me. I told him to stay in the car. And do you know what your son did?”
I hooked my hands on my hips.
“Oh, so now he’s only my son?”
Stefano fixed me with an unamused gaze.
“Come here to me.”
Then he lifted me and sat my ass on the countertop. His hands came down flat on either side of me, caging me in, all the while holding my gaze with his.
“Enzo told me if I wanted to stop him from going into that house, I would have to shoot him first. Then he smashed the car door into my leg and ran past me like a lunatic.”
I nodded. “Yeah, that sounds like him.”
Enzo had always been so smart. Along with his intelligence came an unwavering concept of right and wrong. He always did what he thought was right, consequences be damned.
With a shrug, Stefano stepped back.
“So he’ll learn the basics of gun safety now.”
I sighed and dipped my head.
“The boy must learn to be more obedient, Val,” he added. “Gun safety alone isn’t enough.”
If this were any other day, I would have argued with him, but I just didn’t have the energy to fight with this man, so I nodded. He was probably right anyway.
“Good. We’ll work on it together. Now why are you out of bed?” he asked.
“I wanted to see Enzo and I desperately needed some water and I’m starving.”
Stefano went to the pantry, calling out over his shoulder.
“You’re hungry… that’s a good sign. What would you like?”
I stared at his back, wondering if he actually knew his way around the kitchen as he stood halfway inside the pantry.
“You’re going to cook for me?” I asked.
He came back with takeout menus and flashed a wide grin.
A devilishly handsome grin.
The one that made me fall for him in the first place.
Then he slapped the stack of menus down on the countertop beside me.
“Not quite. We’ll order something in.”
As I sorted the menus, he filled a glass with cold water from the pitcher in the fridge and handed it to me.
“Red meat,” I said. “Steak. Or a burger. Something juicy.”
“Smart. The iron will help your recovery. Steak it is.”
I gulped down the water while he placed an order and sent one of his men to pick it up.
The room spun. I set down the glass and shut my eyes, willing it to stop. Maybe a distraction would make it go away.
“Tell me what happened, Stefano.”
When I opened my eyes, he stood right there, studying my face, my bandaged arm, touching my cheek.
“You feel warm. We should get you back to bed. I’ll bring the food up to you.”
I shook my head, adding to the dizziness, damn it.
“No, tell me what happened. Please, I need to know.”
Placing his hands on my legs, he went over his version, filling in some blanks for me. Then I told him mine, starting with Con Amore. I explained how that weasel broke in while Enzo and I were upstairs in the apartment.
“That wall full of Benedetta’s photos in the basement,” he said. “Some creepy shit.”
A dry chuckle slipped out of my mouth.
“That was probably the least creepy thing about the psycho. Where is he? He’s been taken care of, right?”
The little line between Stefano’s eyes grew deeper.
“What? Val, you shot him,” he said. “Several times. You don’t remember?”
“I don’t want to remember, not yet,” I whispered.
He brushed over my cheek with the back of his fingers, so softly, and gave me a slight nod.
“There are other things we should talk about… for one, you tried to leave me.”
“Please, Stefano, not that, not now.”
Then I rested my head against his shoulder and opened my legs for him to step in closer to my body. He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me, his heat warming me.
“Okay, not now,” he said, “but soon.”
“Soon,” I promised, pulling him closer.
Under any other circumstances, I wouldn't have pulled him in like that. It revealed too much about my feelings, but just this once I didn't have the strength to resist.
He held me until our food arrived.
Savory aromas filled the room, making my stomach rumble as Stefano pulled plates out and set the table. Then he lifted me from the counter to carry me to the table. When I wrapped my legs around his hips, he stopped for a second.
“Don’t do that kind of shit if you don’t intend to finish what you start.”
We both dropped our gaze, and he put me on the chair.
He sat across from me and piled still-sizzling filet mignon, garlic roasted potatoes, and seasoned broccoli onto my plate. I touched his hand to stop him from adding more.
“Thank you. This looks amazing.”
He smiled. “Good. Eat. You need your strength.”
If it weren't for the pain and the dizzy spells, having dinner with Stefano in the cozy breakfast nook might have felt like, well, like a date.
We talked about Enzo and what I wanted to do with the café. Stefano mentioned he’d contacted his contractor associate in the city. He’d set a meeting for the following week for the man to assess the damage and quote repair estimates.
“Thanks,” I said, “but I can cover it.”
He grinned. “Yeah, we found your cash.”
I sucked in a sharp breath, almost choking on a bite of meat.
“What did you do with the money?”
He brushed off my outward worry with a wave of his fork.
“It's safe. That's part of what we’ll talk about later.”
With a hesitant bobbing of my head, I agreed.
We finished eating in silence.
My mind reeled as I peeked at him from under my lashes, watching him cut his food and chew. I couldn’t be so sure about who he really was now.
Still the same man I’d fallen for years ago?
Could Stefano still be the sweet, caring man who liked to laugh at my dirty jokes? The man who had been so gentle with me while teaching me about desire and pleasure.
My first lover. My only lover.
Or had he truly become the Vignali boss? A coldhearted killer who only a few nights before had thrown me around the room and ripped the pleasure from my body like he owned it, like I owed it to him, because he always took what he wanted.
And my god, just who the hell was I?
When I first met Stefano, I pretended to be Valerie Salera, the friendly neighborhood barista. A single Italian girl with no baggage. I wanted to be that girl. But that girl never really existed. She’d been a facade.
Because at my core, in my heart, in my soul, I had always been someone else.
Something else.
A mafia princess from Chicago.
A girl presumed dead.
Me.
Valentina Moscatelli.
A shock pulsed through my blood, forcing my heart to race. I hadn’t let myself even think those words, to say my own name, for so very long.
I thought I’d gotten rid of Valentina forever.
But when that fucking psychopath Luka took me, when he shot me, when he chained me to the wall in that basement, Valerie Salera disappeared.
Valerie hadn’t been strong enough to withstand the horrors. She wouldn't have known how to push the man to save herself. She wouldn’t have understood how badly the bastard wanted to hear her scream.
She wouldn't have survived the trauma.
Valentina had to take over to save me. She was the one with the strength, knew how to use it, knew how to keep going.
I couldn’t define the woman who now existed.
Valerie or Valentina?
Which woman wore the damn mask?
More importantly, which one would my son accept as his mother?
And what right did I have to judge Stefano the way I had, to be angry with him for lying about his real identity, when I’d also concealed my identity all along?
I just didn't know anymore.
A knot bunched in my gut.
I had to tell him. And it had to be soon. As soon as I healed a little more, physically, emotionally, when recent events no longer clouded my thoughts.
Stefano touched my hand.
“Val,” he said. “Did you hear me?”
I dropped my fork and stared at him as he shook his head.
“I can see you’re not all right. Come on, baby, I’m taking you back to bed.”
“Okay,” I whispered.
Then he stood and lifted me into his arms once again.
“My room, Val. That’s where I want you. I’ll still sleep on the couch if that’s what you want—for now—but Enzo will go back to sleeping in his own room. He never left you last night.”
That knot in my stomach loosened. My heart… I didn’t know how to translate the skipping and pounding of my stupid heart into words.
I touched Stefano’s face.
“My boys are so sweet.”
Stefano’s eyes widened, and his lips parted. I guided his face down to mine and put a sweet kiss on his mouth. And then he carried me up to his room, to his bed.
Silence then filled the air between us.
He spoke first after tucking me in beneath the comforter.
“There’s a TV if you want to watch something. Or I can have books brought in.”
“A movie sounds nice,” I said with a small smile. “I can’t tell you how long it’s been since I’ve watched something other than a Disney movie or Harry Potter.”
Stefano let out a noncommittal grunt while he grabbed the remote. With the click of a button, a hidden compartment inside a cabinet near the foot of the bed slid open, and a flatscreen came up.
“Watch a lot of TV here?” I asked.
He stared at the screen, opening a streaming app.
“Yeah, when I can’t sleep.”
Then he handed me the remote and headed for the door.
But I didn’t want him to go. I craved the comfort of his warmth, his presence.
“Stefano, wait. Is there something that needs your immediate attention?”
He stared at me. “It can wait.”
“Then will you stay with me for a little while?”
He didn’t say anything. Shit. What had I just done? I lowered my eyes to the comforter and fiddled with the edge, scrunching it, and then smoothing it straight again.
“Look at me, Valerie,” he finally said, and when I did, he went on. “Depends on what you want to watch.”
“What?”
With his stare locked on me, he kicked off his shoes, got on the bed. Then he chuckled and took the remote.
The fucker.
Always the boss. He’d just answered that question.
I curled against his side beneath his raised arm.
“No gangsters and no Disney, please, but anything else is fair game,” I said.
Stefano kissed my head while scrolling the options.
The next thing I remembered was his voice, deep but softly speaking into his phone. I didn’t even know what movie he’d picked because I fell asleep so quickly.
I looked up at him.
He stared down at me, then tossed his phone away.
Another kind of hunger consumed me. Consumed us.
His kiss, in that moment, it was all I wanted. All I remembered. All I needed to heal.
I lifted my face, pushed my fingers into his hair, and tugged on his neck, asking him to give it to me.
Careful with my arm, he angled himself over me and kissed me. A tender Stefano Salvatore kiss.
He couldn’t be that man ever again, and I knew he was telling me so with that kiss. He had evolved as a man, as a leader, becoming more than he ever had been.
His kiss would also change and evolve.
And it would change me.
Truth be told, I had evolved too.
Valentina Moscatelli was back. She’d always been there, lurking in my soul, waiting for her time, just as the Vignali blood had always been strong in Stefano.
But who we were as individuals, who we wanted to be, that could all wait. I didn't want it to define who we would become together.
“Ace,” I whispered.
“What do you want?” he said against my lips. “Tell me.”
“I want you. All of you. The man you are now.”
He pulled back to study my eyes, like he searched for a truth neither of us had been brave enough to admit.
Then he leaned down, and his next kiss became fierce, rough, demanding. His hand went to my throat, but he didn't squeeze. He understood my pain and the bruising left behind by another man who’d never been worthy of touching me.
Stefano held my throat in his hand, replacing my abuser’s touch with his own, erasing the horror from my memory.
His blue eyes darkened.
As he moved his hand down to untie my robe, he didn’t do it slowly, didn’t take his time to explore my body. No, he took what he wanted, opening the robe with a yank.
His commanding behavior overwhelmed me. It lit a strong desire in me. Slick, beautiful heat built up between my thighs.
He grabbed my hair in his fist as he devoured my mouth with his rough kiss. With his other hand, he flicked his thumb over my nipples.
A moan escaped from my mouth into his.
Even after everything I’d been through, all the physical trauma, my body responded to him like a starving animal.
I supposed that was kind of what I had become, a deprived animal so desperate for his touch to sate me.
“Do you want me to make you feel better, little girl?” he growled against my ear.
“Yes,” I said.
“Yes? Yes what, Valerie?”
“Yes, sir. Make me feel better.”
The intense eyes of a very different man burned into mine. The strong man I had always needed. The man I wanted more than anything.
“Only good girls get to come in my bed... and we still have a matter to settle between us.”
Another moan conveyed my agreement.
I wanted whatever he had to give.
“You were a bad girl. You tried to leave me.”
Those words, the way he said them.
I writhed beneath him, my need getting higher and hotter, but he quickly pinned my body down with his.
I gasped. “Please, I’ve learned my lesson.”
“That might be true, but you haven’t apologized,” he said. “So now you’ll show me how sorry you are…”
Then he crushed his rock-hard cock against my stomach.