Chapter Eight
KILLIAN
I checked my phone. Time to go.
With a glance at my wallet, I decided to leave it at home. Tonight’s event didn’t require identification. Besides, everyone there knew who I was, and Max was driving me. I was more than ready to head out to my yacht to blow off some steam and party with a boatful of friends.
I pushed the elevator button inside my penthouse for the main lobby and the doors whispered shut. After a speedy trip, I exited the elevator, strolled over to the doorman, and gave him a curt nod as he opened the door for me.
“Have a good evening, Mr. Hook,” he said with a warm smile.
“Will do. Don’t wait up for me, Joe.”
He chuckled at our usual banter.
I wasn’t two feet out the door when someone slammed into me. They bounced off my chest, I threw out my hands, and managed to wrap them around their soft arms.
“Oh, shit.” A light, familiar voice diffused the momentary annoyance flooding through me.
I drew in my chin and looked down at the top of a recognizable blonde head. “Trissa?”
Fuck.
Not now.
Not her.
“Oh, Killian. I uh—” Her cheeks flushed a beautiful shade of pink.
My gaze drifted lower, following the rosy glow, and I silently cursed the high neckline of her shirt as I pondered just how far that blush spread. “Fancy meeting you here.” Her voice had taken on a high-pitched tone that I recognized all too well.
Trissa was lying.
This— she was the last thing I needed tonight. Because of our shared past, and our friendship, I couldn’t let her get mixed up in this.
“Really?” I released my grip and crossed my arms. “Then just exactly who were you planning on visiting in the building?”
“Not that I have to share that information with you, but… ” Her lashes beat a steady rhythm as her gaze darted frantically around, finally landing on a large plant next to the main doors. “Mrs., uh, Pla—er … I mean Mrs. Potts … on the fourth floor.”
“And how do you know each other?” I enjoyed watching her squirm.
“From the library.” She nodded a little too enthusiastically. “Yup, the library.”
“I see. And you’ve known each other… ” I let my voice drift off.
She hadn’t yet figured out what I suspected.
“Yeah, we met there five … months, I mean days, ago.”
Oh, Trissa. She could never pull off a lie. It wasn’t in her nature.
A mix of fondness and frustration twisted my insides.
“It’s interesting that the length of time since you met her corresponds to the number on my building.”
“What? No way.” She swung her head to look at the large stately number next to the side of the building, and her eyes widened a little too dramatically. “What a coincidence.”
I raised an eyebrow and forced myself not to smile. Tris had that effect on me—she could make me smile without even trying.
“Huh, interesting.” She continued with the wide-eyed innocent look, turning back to look at the number again, then back at me.
The longer I remained silent, the more she fidgeted and shifted her weight from foot-to-foot.
“It’s just a weird coincidence,” she repeated. “I mean, what are the chances, right?” She snort-laughed and unnecessarily gestured towards the building number behind me.
She began tapping her foot, and her gaze darted from me to the number a few more times. That’s when Tris realized I wasn’t buying it. She huffed out a breath, and when she saw a couple walking through the door, she wrapped her delicate fingers around my wrist and pulled me away from the entrance.
“When did you figure it out?” she asked.
“What, that you were lying?”
She nodded and bit her plump bottom lip, sending a shot of lust spearing through me, along with the sudden urge to brush my thumb across it. To keep from doing so, I clenched my hands.
“Tris, you suck at lying. Why are you really here, babe?” The endearment slipped out involuntarily.
I had to be careful and make sure that didn’t happen again. And I really had to get out of here, because being around her messed with my head … and other parts of my anatomy.
“Fine.” She threw up her hands. “I’m here to see you.”
“Well, tonight isn’t a good night for me.” I glanced at Max waiting in the nearby car for me. “I’m just heading out.”
“I can just go with you then.” She nodded and started toward the car, as though it was already decided.
“Nope,” I grabbed her elbow and stopped her. “I don’t think it’s your scene.”
I fucking hated the fucking unfamiliar pang of guilt that shot through my chest. Guilt was a feeling I’d learned to squelch a long time ago.
But I didn’t want Tris anywhere near this damn party. Funny thing is, if she knew what was about to happen on my yacht, she wouldn’t be offering to join me—she would be running the other way. And rightly so.
Max rolled down the passenger window. “You coming or what?”
“Fuck you.” I threw up my middle finger.
Asshole just laughed and rolled the window up.
“Tris, we can talk tomorrow. Come by in the afternoon.” I brushed past her, trying to ignore the heat that zinged through my body at the contact.
Without realizing it, she was my kryptonite and telling her no was difficult.
I turned, opened the back door to my car, and the rich leather squeaked when I settled into the seat. I swung the door shut just as the other door closed with a solid thump .
Tris somehow managed to run around to the other side and climbed in next to me.
A chill fanned out from my spine. I could not let her anywhere near my yacht.
“Tris, you need to leave.” I was an asshole for kicking her out, but she didn’t deserve to get mixed up in this part of my life.
“I can’t Killian.” She grabbed a handful of the sleeve of my leather jacket, her blue eyes wildly desperate, completely oblivious to what might happen to her if she went with me. “Because, if I do, I’ll lose my nerve.”
Lose her nerve?
I shook my head and reinforced my determination to keep her away from the yacht tonight.
“Get out, Tris.” I tugged my arm from her grasp.
It was clear she wasn’t moving of her own volition, so I might have to physically remove her from the car.
That meant touching her. Not a good idea.
“Please, Killian.” She looked up at me with those damn huge eyes of hers. As if that wasn’t enough, her lower lip started to quiver. “I need you.”
Well, fucking hell.
And that was all it took—one tiny sign of distress—and my defenses already began to weaken.
This was exactly why I shouldn’t get involved with her. All rational thought and self-preservation went right out the damn window whenever she was anywhere near me.
My mind raced, working to figure out a way to keep her from this party. I couldn’t tell her the truth—she wouldn’t understand.
Max cleared his throat and raised his eyebrows as he stared at me in the rearview mirror.
We were going to be late.
“Fine.” I grumbled.
“Oh my gosh.” Her eyes lit up and she clamped onto my arm with both hands. “Thank you.” Her giddiness and the sincerity in her words grated on me. “You won’t regret this.”
I already did.
I wasn’t the good guy she remembered. Hell, I hadn’t been that guy in a long time.
“Tris,” I plucked her hand off my arm, “say what you have to say, and then Max will take you home.”
“But, I … Killian—” she sputtered.
“You have less than twenty minutes until we arrive at our destination, Tris. That’s all the time you’ll get.”
“Killian, come on.” She pursed her pretty lips and narrowed her eyes.
I loved seeing the fire that seemed to be missing since I last saw her.
“Eighteen.” I counted down.
“Shit, okay.” She bunched up the hem of her shirt in her fist. “What can I do to convince you to help me win Peter and to make him fall for me.” She blurted out quickly.
“Tris,” I shook my head, “I am not getting into this with you right now.”
I’d really hoped she would lose interest in this stupid scheme of me being some kind of dumbass love coach.
“Please, please. You have to help me.” She laced her fingers together as if praying. “I don’t have anyone else to ask, and I’ve tried waiting patiently for you to reach out to me.”
“Really? You’ve been patient?” I raised an eyebrow. “It’s Saturday, Tris. It’s only been three days.”
“Three days. Three weeks. Three months.” She threw up her hands. “The days all kind of run together after a while. Am I right?” she joked as if nervous, awarding me with a sweet grin.
I sighed.
“A lot can happen in three days, Killian.” The curve of her lips flattened and a flash of pain flared in her eyes before she slowly blinked.
“Why should I even consider helping you? What’s in it for me?” I ground out, not missing the tiny flinch she tried to cover up.
“I … I don’t know.” She raised her hopeful gaze to mine. “What do you want?”
“Nothing.” I wanted to grab her, push her up against the door, and claim her luscious pink lips with mine. “There’s nothing I want from you, except maybe your absence.” I forced a bored tone into my voice so she wouldn’t notice the lie falling from my lips.
This time, she did shrink away from me.
I clenched my fists to stop myself from reaching for her. Tris didn’t need to know that every cell in my body was practically begging me to say yes. To help her, and in doing so, give myself a little more time in her presence before I had to let her go again.
“Tris, seriously. Why me?”
“I know you hate Peter, and helping me kind of goes against that, but … I trust you.” She bit her lip, her expression wary. “And, though it may not mean anything to you, I really have missed you, Killian. Even if you don’t want to help me, it would be nice to hang out with you again, like old times.”
If I didn’t know any better, I’d think the twist in my chest was from her heaving a filleting knife through my heart.
“The timing seems pretty damn convenient, Tris.” I propped my elbow on the armrest and forced a look of indifference. “You’ve had a long time to see me. To tell me you missed me.”
“You were so angry, Killian.” Her chin dropped. “At me. At Peter. And then you just sort of faded away. I didn’t know what to do, and I wondered if maybe our friendship had run its course.”
Well, fuck. That hurt like hell to hear.
She lifted her face to me and the passing streetlights flashed off the unshed tears pooling in her eyes.
And now I felt like a supreme dick for making her cry.
“I figured if I gave you time to cool off, you’d come back to us.” She blinked and a tear streamed down her cheek. “To see that it was okay to be happy for Peter’s success and maybe we could go back to normal. But you never acknowledged any communication from me.” She angrily swiped the tear away. “So, eventually, I stopped trying.”
I couldn’t risk telling her that my heart had been broken by both of my best friends. Tris for choosing Peter. And Peter for being a selfish dick and tossing our friendship aside for his career. He didn’t have the same faith that I did, if we just held out a little longer, we could have gotten a contract together.
“What you’re asking isn’t a little favor,” I reminded her.
“I know that. I do.” Her eyes beseeched me to understand.
No matter how much I wanted to give in, I had to be strong. My heart couldn’t survive the complication of having Trissabelle Byrd in my life.
“What’s the emergency?” Against my better judgment, I was intrigued. “Why can’t you wait?”
A faint line of sweat shimmered on her brow and she kept twisting her hands in her lap. Something had pushed her to find me, to not give me the time I asked to think about her request.
“Peter’s showing interest in someone else.” Her voice was barely above a whisper. “Her name is Wendy Darling. Jareth hired her as a PR consultant to improve Peter’s image. I’m worried that if I don’t do something now, I’ll lose my chance forever.”
“Is it really worth it?” I frowned at her desperation. “Chasing someone who doesn’t want you?”
She deserved so much more.
“Yes.” She nodded slowly.
“I don’t get it, Tris.” I’d never been able to comprehend why she pursued Peter like she did. “Why him?”
I knew the answer was probably going to hurt like hell, but I needed to know.
“Before he and I met, my heart … well, it felt like it had gone to sleep, like it was dormant or something.” She tapped the spot above her heart. “I felt hollow inside and I had no idea if I could ever love someone like I loved my parents.”
She paused and I gave her time to gather her thoughts.
“But then I met Peter.” Her sweet smile was like a kick in the balls. “And for the first time in weeks the sun shone a little brighter and my heart gave a little thump. When I looked up at him and he held my hand in his, I just knew we were meant to be in each other’s lives.”
Hearing how meeting Peter pulled her from her sadness was just as painful as hearing her declare her undying love for the guy.
“If he felt the same, he would’ve said so by now, Tris.”
That selfish prick.
I’d bet my yacht he was stringing Tris along for the adoration alone. And while part of me railed at him for taking her for granted, I couldn’t help wondering what would have happened if I’d met her first.
She blinked rapidly to hold back further tears. I hated thinking I was the cause of her pain, but someone needed to help her see the truth.
Tris drew in a deep breath and let it out. “Peter’s a good guy. He’s fun and charismatic, and he makes me feel like I have value.”
I narrowed my gaze and wanted to call bullshit , but stopped myself.
“I know you don’t think so after the gift he gave me last week, but that’s one instance out of many others where he has shown me he cares about me.” Her tone became somewhat beseeching, like she was trying to convince me of something. “Besides his sister, he’s never known true, unconditional love, Killian. I need to show him what that’s like.”
I scoffed at the idea of Peter lacking anything in his life. “I can’t say I’ve had much of that either,” something I avoided dwelling on, “but he’d have to be a fucking moron not to see how much you care about him.” If she thought I was going to feel sorry for the asshole, she was mistaken.
She must’ve sensed I was wavering, because hope beamed brightly in her eyes and I wanted to lose myself in it. To feel for a single moment what it would be like to be loved by Tris.
“Believing I care about him is a struggle for Peter. Once I get him to really see me, he’ll believe it.” She was so sure of herself.
Too bad I couldn’t convince her how wrong she was.
“And if he doesn’t?” I had to push her to see that what she dreamed about wasn’t reality.
“Then I walk away.” She lifted one shoulder as a sad frown touched the corners of her lips. “Because, isn’t the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again?”
I snorted, unable to hold back.
This time she rolled her eyes at me. “Killian, I’ve never pushed or changed who I am to get him to notice me. I just assumed, with enough time, enough years of being there for him, I’d earn his love. And he’d come to the realization that he can’t live without me. Just like I can’t live without him.”
Fierce, hot anger and jealousy roiled and bubbled up like lava from my gut, searing up my throat. “You know what I don’t get, Tris? He treats you like shit and still you swear you can’t live without him.” I pointed at my chest. “Yet, I treated you like the treasure that you are and you somehow managed to easily toss me aside.” The bitter thoughts I’d bottled up inside vociferously erupted, I couldn’t stop them—and I wasn’t even sure I wanted to.
I hated sounding like such a whiny bitch, and revealing my vulnerabilities to her was a really bad idea. But the question of why she’d let me go had never been answered. And what can I say, repressed emotions and hurt feelings were assholes.
She tentatively reached out and cupped my cheek with her hand feathering her thumb along my cheekbone. I reinforced the walls around my heart and fought the desire to turn my head and give in to her sweetness, to nuzzle her soft skin and place the lightest kiss to the center of her palm.
“Letting go of you was not easy.” The confession—like broken glass—ripped away at my soul.
“You could’ve fooled me.” Our eyes connected, and I was captured by the intensity in her gaze.
I couldn’t have looked away, even if I wanted to.
“Regardless of how I feel about Peter, I’d always hoped we’d all remain friends. But you left us behind and never looked back. I couldn’t believe how easily you were able to give up everything we were to each other.” She sniffed as fresh tears pooled in her eyes. “You’re just as much at fault for our friendship fizzling as I am, Killian.”
My heart beat an unsteady rhythm as I processed her words.
What Tris didn’t know—and what I’d never tell her—is that I had to walk away. If I hadn’t, I’d have lost myself waiting for her to notice me. Because I finally figured out that Peter meant more to her than I ever could, and knowing that was killing me a little bit each day.
“Help me understand something, Tris.” I pressed her. “Why did you expect me to be happy for Peter when he secured that recording contract, yet you couldn’t understand what a shitty thing he did by conveniently forgetting he had a partner in the deal? He and I promised each other we would do that together. He broke that promise, not me , yet you still took his side.”
The flood gates were open now and there was no stopping them. Without meaning to, I’d basically thrown my heart out there to be easily stomped on … again.
Max, the dick, would no doubt give me merciless amounts of shit later about what a pussy I was during this entire conversation.
“He was our friend.” A pained expression crossed her face. “And friends should be happy for each other’s success. If it had been the opposite, I’d have been just as happy for you and told him the same.”
I hadn’t considered that before. At the time, it just felt like one more way Peter had wrapped Tris around his little finger.
“Somehow, I have trouble believing that.” Sarcasm shoved aside my vulnerability.
Even now, I knew if the situation had been reversed, she’d have found a way to side with Peter.
Because he always won.
I leaned out of her grasp and her hand fell away.
I needed space from her.
From this .
I had to get the hell out of here.
“We’ve arrived,” Max looked at me in the rearview mirror as the car rolled to a stop at the marina and I hadn’t even noticed.
Thank God.
I cleared my throat. Things had gotten far too intense, far too quickly.
“Tris, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” I didn’t risk looking at her. I just shoved the door open and climbed out of the car, and swung the door shut behind me. I moved up to the front passenger side and tapped the roof twice. Max lowered the window. “Take her home.”
“You got it.” He didn’t give me shit or a judgmental look, he simply nodded and pulled away from the curb.
I could hear Trissa’s protests as the window slid up. She didn’t know it, but I just did her a big favor.
The truth was, I’d actually done myself the favor. I didn’t want her to see what I’d become or what was about to go down.
A golden glow from the setting sun gleamed off the hull of Titania. The forty-meter Sunseeker could do up to twenty-five knots. She was my pride and joy—I fucking loved that thing.
I walked over to the marina gate, entered the code, and hustled down the ramp and onto the dock.
Loud rock music drifted across the water. The closer I got to the boat, the louder it became.
Time to put on my mask . I’ve got a part to play at these things.
I stopped at the bottom of the gangway where a security detail was positioned.
“We’ll head out in about fifteen minutes.” I wrapped my hand around the rail.
“Of course, Mr. Hook.” Jeff was the head of security. “I’ll send a text just before the boat is ready to launch.”
“Thanks, Jeff.” I clapped him on the back and strode up the ramp.
My foot barely touched the deck when I was swarmed by a crowd of people, all wanting a piece of me.
Jeff made a move toward the gangway, as if to come to my aid, I held up my hand, gave him a slight head shake, and he resumed his position.
Let the show begin.
I plastered on my trademark devil-doesn’t-give-a-shit grin, ignoring the hollowness I felt inside. These people weren’t here because they were my friends. They were all here for one reason—they wanted something from me. Most nights, I didn’t mind playing along. Tonight, I’d have to work extra hard at maintaining the facade.
“Hi, handsome.” A familiar voice whispered across my ear as fingernails skimmed up my arm and to my nape, leaving goosebumps in their wake.
“Hey gorgeous.” I turned my head and locked lips with Eva. “Glad to see you got my invite.”
Beautiful, willing, and utterly uncomplicated. Eva was the perfect distraction. She and I had a standing arrangement— when I wanted some company, all I had to do was call her and she’d show up. But even as her tongue danced with mine, I had to blink away an unbidden image of Trissa that flashed through my mind.
“It was very last minute, Killian.” She pouted while playing with the collar of my shirt. “I had to cancel other plans to be here.”
“Later when we’re alone,” I nibbled at the curve of her neck. “I’ll show you how much I appreciate your willingness to indulge me.”
Later. When I was flying high and could pretend she was someone else.
“That works for me, baby.” She bit her lip and smiled coyly.
“I need to be a good host and say hello to people.” I unwrapped her arms from around my neck and stepped back. “I’ll find you later.”
“Um, sure.” A flash of disappointment appeared in her eyes, but she just nodded. “I’ll go hang out with the girls.”
Eva might be disappointed, but she knew the score. Business before pleasure.
I did a loop around the deck, saying hello, nodding and waving at the well-dressed, elite individuals I’d invited tonight. I was actually looking for the dealer I usually worked with to personally thank him and his boss.
The yacht’s engines rumbled to life causing a slight vibration beneath my feet, and I stopped short.
What the hell? Jeff was supposed to text me before we left.
Shit. Where the hell was Judd? Had he made it on board?
I reached into my pocket and discovered my phone wasn’t there. It must have slipped out in the car. Having Tris in tight confines, close enough to touch, had thrown me off my game. I’d been in such a hurry to put some distance between us, I hadn’t noticed it was gone.
I hated that after only seeing her twice, Tris was now a constant presence in my mind.
I looked around and it appeared everyone was having a good time, enjoying the expensive champagne and drugs that had been supplied before I arrived.
“Killian,” a mix of voices called out to me when I reached the stern.
Showtime.
“Gentlemen. So happy you could be here tonight. I saw your samples as I made my way to you. When do we get the rest of it? What you brought won’t last the night with the number of people here.”
One of the guys laughed. A loud, booming sound that grated on my nerves. He seemed rougher around the edges than the individuals I typically dealt with.
I wasn’t familiar with him. And last minute additions made me suspicious. “New guy?” My voice hardened. “You should’ve warned me someone I didn’t know was coming. How can I trust he’ll keep his mouth shut about what goes on here?”
New faces meant additional risk. I couldn’t afford any loose ends.
“Hey, hey. He’s all right. We wouldn’t have brought him otherwise.” Another guy, Ned, Ted, I forget his name … slicked a hand back over his longish dark hair as he tossed me a tight smile. His shifty eyes looked between me and my regular dealer, Griff.
I narrowed my gaze as my gut tightened. “It’s only all right if I say it is.”
That earned me a glare from the same asshole who tried to placate me. When he tried to move into my space to crowd me, I stood firm. I wasn’t going to let this asshole intimidate me. We were helping each other out. For that I deserved respect. Respect that this guy was sorely lacking.
It was my money and mode of transportation helping them move the product. “Our agreement for me offering up my yacht was the understanding I’d meet your boss tonight.”
“He said he’d try to make it.” Griff gave a casual shrug. I wanted to punch the nonchalance right out of him.
I consciously relaxed my hands, subtly releasing my fingers one by one. I didn’t need them to see they riled me up. I knew how to play this game. “If he wants my money to bankroll the favors at this party or any in the future along with my help smuggling this in, then I suggest he shows up.”
Griff’s gaze flicked to the one who had chuckled earlier.
“Is there a problem?” I asked, trying to get a read on whatever subtext was happening.
Either I was paranoid or something was off.
“Don’t be a fucker or we’ll leave.” The new guy warned me.
I decided to nickname him Dickhead.
I rolled my shoulders back and gave him my ‘I don’t give a fuck’ smile. “Will you?” Why I was baiting them was beyond me, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself. “I’m doing you a favor by using my boat. And don’t forget if this works out for all of us, we could have a lovely partnership. But I need to know who I’m doing business with. Call him. Tell him to find a way here, or the deal’s off.”
It’s not like I needed this deal. I was here because I was bored and looking for ways to shake things up. This was a dangerous game, but I’d also come too far to be pushed around or taken advantage of.
His nostrils flared. Anger quickly flashed in his eyes until another guy laid a hand on his arm. “We’ll see what we can do,” Dickhead retorted.
These assholes. They thought they could play me.
Griff shook his head. “You’ll meet him.” He passed off a piece of paper with coordinates to me. “Have your captain get us here, and then we’ll make the trade.”
“Excellent.” My fingers tightened on the rough manilla paper.
“Are you looking for a little taste?” He placed the product on the table and set up lines for both of us.
“Same quality as usual?” I didn’t need to have a surprise tonight.
“For you. Always.” He threw an arm on my shoulder, the earlier tension between us forgotten. He knew the drill and sampled the first line himself before gesturing for me to go next.
I grabbed the small metal cylinder, closed one nostril, and sniffed. I leaned back in my seat and grinned, already feeling the drug move through my system. My muscles relaxed, and a lightness filled me.
I let the pure sensation roll through me that blocked out all the other shit going on in my life.
“Another?” Griff asked.
I waved him off. “Enjoying this hit first.” Already, the initial sense of euphoria was beginning to wear off, and a surge of energy began making my body tingle.
Focus, Killian. You’ve still got business to handle. I didn’t need to be so wasted I fucked up our transfer.
“Gentlemen, I’m going to pass this destination off to my captain and then mingle with my guests. Is there anything you need from me before the trade-off?”
“Not yet. Tell the captain to stop the boat at that location. We’ll meet the rest of our crew, and they’ll bring the product on board. Storage rooms marked below?” Griff said.
“They are. Let me know if you run into any problems until then,” I replied.
A grunted response was all I got.
I nodded and walked off to give the captain the necessary information.
It helped that I paid him enough to not ask any questions.