Chapter Thirty-Seven
KILLIAN
“ W hat the actual fuck, Killian?” Tris demanded, storming toward me. Her blonde hair whipped around her shoulders and her eyes flashed like a warrior ready for battle. “Do you have a death wish?”
I straightened up in the bed, and groaned as nausea rolled through me. Fucking concussion . My hand went to my throbbing head. “Tink?—”
My chest clenched at the sight of her. Even furious, she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. Her fear, poorly masked by her fury, had me reaching for her even though she wasn’t close enough to touch. A familiar ache bloomed inside me—the one that had been there since I first began to fall in love with her—knowing I couldn’t have her.
I was a fucking idiot.
“No, do not, Tink me. What is wrong with you?” She threw her hands out in frustration. “We have one disagreement. One, Killian.” She held up her pointer finger, the tremble in her hand betraying her. “And you revert to self-destruct mode and nearly get yourself killed!”
Bile gurgled up into my throat at the reminder. “Peter?—”
Her lips pursed together, lines of anger formed around her eyes, and her brow furrowed. “Has nothing to do with this, or with me and you. What do you not get about him being my friend? I had to go with him. He’s my boss, you dumbass. Not because I chose him . Although, right now, I’m seriously reconsidering that.”
The words hit me like a physical blow.
She hadn’t chosen Peter.
And I was a fucking asshole putting her in the middle and asking her to pick a side.
Shame washed over me, hot and suffocating. My wrist throbbed, reminding me of the price I’d paid for going back on my word. How could I have doubted her? Trissabelle, my Tink, had always been loyal to a fault. Of course, she’d fulfill her obligations. It was one of the things I loved most about her—her big heart, with its capacity to care for others even when they didn’t deserve it.
And here I was, acting like a jealous prick, risking everything we had started to build. The truth slammed into me with brutal clarity: Peter would always be in our lives if we were together. I didn’t have to like it, but I had to accept it to some degree. The alternative—life without Tris—wasn’t an option I could survive.
“And don’t think I’m done with you, Judd.” Her furious gaze swung to him. His large frame casually leaned against the bed. “How could you pull him into that mess again?”
Judd raised his hands in surrender. “I’ll just … go get some coffee,” he muttered, making a hasty retreat.
As the door closed behind him, Tris turned back to me, eyes blazing. God, she was stunning when she was angry—all fire and strength.
“Tris, I’m sorry,” I said, my voice hoarse. “It was stupid of me to agree to help.” And it was. I recognized that now more than ever.
My adrenaline-chasing days were over. I needed Tris by my side, and I could never put that look of fear on her face intentionally again. The realization was both terrifying and freeing—I’d spent so long defining myself by the risks I took and the chaos I courted.
“Stupid? This was beyond stupid.” She deflated slightly, sinking onto the edge of my bed. “I was fucking terrified, Killian. When Jack called, he said you were dying … ” Her voice squeaked, and tears welled in her eyes, spilling down her cheeks.
Each drop was a stab to my gut. I’d done that to her. Me, the man who had sworn to protect her, to love her, had been the cause of that devastation on her face. Ignoring the pain that shot through my head, I leaned closer, and covered her hand with my good one, partially afraid she’d pull away, that I’d finally pushed too far. “Hey, I’m okay. It’s just a concussion, bruised ribs, and a broken wrist. I’ve had worse.”
Her face paled, likely remembering the few times I’d told her about my life before foster care. Those dark stories shared in whispered confessions, when the night made me brave. “That’s not the point,” she said, turning her wrist over so she could interlace our fingers. The warm press of her skin against mine anchored me. “You can’t just throw yourself into danger like that. I won’t lose you, Killian. Not now. Not when we’ve finally … ”
Her words trailed off, but I understood. We’d finally found our way to each other, after all these years. The thought of losing that, of losing her, made my chest tighten until I could barely breathe. All those wasted years, dancing around each other, watching her with Peter, hating myself for wanting what wasn’t mine to have.
I tugged her toward me, needing to erase some of this distance. She came willingly, settling beside me on the bed. I wrapped an arm around her, savoring the warmth of her against my side.
This was where she belonged, where we belonged.
Together.
The rightness of it resonated through me, a truth I’d known since the moment I first saw her, one I hadn’t been able to understand at the time. And only now, finally, did I dare to believe it could be real.
“I’m sorry,” I said again, meaning it more than I’d meant anything in my life. “I wasn’t thinking straight. After I thought you’d chosen Peter, I went a little fucking crazy, I just … I needed to do something, anything to make that pain go away.” The admission cost me, peeling back another layer of armor I’d worn for so long. But she deserved my truth, all of it, even the ugly parts that showed how deeply she could wound me.
Tris’s eyes softened. “About that,” she said, her voice gentle now. “I talked to Peter. I told him that we need some space and that I’m going to ask Jareth for an official internship at VS Music Production.”
I pulled her into my arms, being careful of my cast. I ignored her squeak of dismay as she fit right into my lap and I wrapped my arms possessively around her. “That’s fucking awesome, Tink. It’s about time you start to follow your own dreams.”
She nodded, a small smile playing on her lips. The tightness in my chest that had begun when she stormed in here eased when she rested her head on my shoulder. “I told him it was time to do something for me.”
Pride and love surged through me. I ran my hand up and down her back, feeling the curve of her spine beneath my palm. This was the Trissa that I’d always known was there, buried beneath years of others’ expectations—strong, determined, and standing up for what she wanted. “Good.”
Trissa’s hands twisted together. “I know I’ve been out of school for awhile, so I can’t expect Jareth to hire me for the job, but if I work hard maybe they can find a place for me there when I’m ready.”
I growled. “He’ll find a place for you, or maybe I will.” The thought of giving her this—a chance to shine, to prove herself—filled me with a fierce satisfaction. After watching from the sidelines for so long, dimming her light for others, I wanted to see her blaze.
“Killian,” she said, her voice sharp. “You will not do anything to get me the job.”
I grunted. “Tink?—”
“Wait. What do you mean, maybe you will?”
“I’ve decided to be the pirate of my own ship. It’s not common knowledge, but I told Jareth I wanted to create my own recording label after this album. He hasn’t been too much of a dick about it.”
She snorted.
I grinned, warmth spreading through me at her familiar sound. I’d loved making her laugh like that over the years, and I’d stored each one like a treasure.
“It might be exciting, to be on the ground floor of it all.” She bit her lip, a gesture that always drove me wild.
“I’d love for you to be able to sprinkle some of your Trissabelle magic and help me run the business.” The image formed in my mind—Tris beside me, building a legacy together, our talents complementing each other’s. It felt right in a way few things ever had.
Years ago I had purchased this building downtown not knowing what I’d do with it. Last year after a conversation with an up-and-coming artist that couldn’t get his album seen, the seed had been planted.
Tris snuggled further into my embrace. “I think I’d like that.”
How had I almost fucked this up? The life I’d always dreamed of since I was sixteen.
Now here she was, in my arms, choosing me. Me, the broken foster kid with too many scars and not enough faith.
“I wish I had fought harder for you back then.” I stroked her hair, the silky strands sliding through my fingers.
I also wished we were anywhere but this hospital bed.
She shook her head. “You know I believe things happen the way they’re supposed to.”
I nodded, wincing at the movement. “And now? What do you believe about us?” I held my breath, suddenly terrified of her answer. Old insecurities tried to rise up, whispering I wasn’t good enough, that someone like me didn’t get happy endings.
She lifted her head and her hand reached to cup my cheek. I loved feeling her fingers scratch at my scruff, the gentle abrasion grounding me in the present. “I believe this is our chance. Our chance at love, at building something real and lasting.”
My heart soared at her words. Despite the pain in my head, despite the unreasonable fear I had earlier that I was losing her, I felt a sense of rightness settle over me. For the first time in my life, I was able to push aside the doubts and truly believe I deserved this—deserved her.
“I love you, Trissabelle,” I said, the words feeling both new and familiar on my tongue. I’d loved her for so long that my soul already recognized her as my forever. “I’ve loved you since the beginning and I will love you until the end of time. I promise that you’ll never regret taking this chance on me.”
A wide grin stretched across her face. “I love you too, Killian. God help me, but I do.”
She laid her tear-stained cheek gently against mine. The world fell away, and for a moment it was just us. Two people who had finally found their way to each other. All the noise that had filled my head for years—the doubt, the self-loathing, the restless need for chaos—quieted. In its place was a stillness I’d never known, a peace I hadn’t even thought possible.
“Don’t you ever scare me like that again,” she whispered fiercely.
I chuckled, ignoring the twinge of pain it caused. “I promise to be on my best behavior from now on.” Even as I said it, I knew my definition of “best behavior” would always differ from most people’s. But for Tris, I’d try. For us, I’d be better.
She leaned back, arching an eyebrow at me. “Somehow, I doubt that. But I’d settle for you being more careful at least.”
“Deal,” I said, pulling her in for a kiss.
Our lips met. A sweetness existed between us, like the first notes of a song we’d been writing for years without realizing it. I licked at her mouth, my tongue brushing along the seam, seeking entrance. With a tiny moan she opened, and I swept my tongue inside, desperate for her taste.
She must have sensed the change in me. Tris lifted a leg to slide it over mine to place it beside my hip. When she rocked forward we both gasped at the need that gripped us. My cock, already at attention, hardened further, wanting nothing more than to slide in between her folds and make love to her until we were both barely able to move.
Tris’s fingers curled into my hair. Her grip was tight, and while I normally loved a bit of pain, I winced at the contact and my concussed head began pounding once again.
“Shit. Killian … I … ” Her hands slid carefully around to my face so she could cup my cheeks. “We can’t do stuff like that. You’re hurt.”
I gazed into Tris’s worried eyes, seeing our entire history reflected there. The scared kids we once were, the lost souls we’d become, and now, the people we were most meant to be—and to be together. Every moment had led us here, every wrong turn and missed chance were necessary parts of our journey.
I could tell by her tone and actions that she’d blamed herself for letting this get out of hand. That she should have been more careful with me. I pulled her hand towards my lips and lightly kissed each finger. “I’m fine.”
She still didn’t look convinced.
“You know,” I said, my voice low and serious. “I used to think the biggest rush in life came from danger, from living on the edge. But I was wrong.”
Tris tilted her head, curiosity evident in her sapphire eyes, a faint smile played at her lips. “Oh?”
Ignoring the dull ache in my head, I continued, “The real adventure, the one that matters, is right here.” I placed her hand over my heart. “It’s loving you, building a life with you. That’s the greatest thrill I could imagine.”
The truth of it hit me like a revelation. All those risks I’d taken, the stunts, the fights—they were just poor substitutes for this, for the raw, terrifying vulnerability of loving someone completely. Of letting them see all of you and trusting they’d stay.
Her eyes welled with tears again, but this time, they were accompanied by a radiant smile. “Killian… ”
“I mean it, Tink,” I needed her to understand how being with her changed me, how much she meant to me. It took her entering my life again to realize I helped Judd because I wanted to feel something. To cover up the emptiness, the void that had grown like poison flooding my veins. “I’m done chasing danger. The only thing I want to chase now is our future together.”
She laughed, a sound that warmed me from the inside out. “That’s quite a change of tune.”
I grinned. “What can I say? You make me want to be better. Be the man you deserve.” The man I’d never thought I could be, with my history, my scars. But maybe that was the point—maybe I didn’t need to erase my past to build a future. Maybe I just needed someone who saw the good in me when I couldn’t see it in myself.
Her expression softened. “You already are that man, Killian. You always have been. You just need to see it for yourself—and really believe it.”
As I looked into her eyes, I saw our future stretching out before us—bright, uncertain, and full of possibility. I knew with Tris’s innate fiery nature and my stubbornness it wouldn’t all be smooth sailing—we’d have our challenges, our fights, our moments of doubt. But we’d face them together, and be stronger for the journey that brought us here.
In the sterile hospital room, with my head throbbing and my wrist aching, I found a truth I’d been running from my whole life. I was worthy of love. Worthy of her. And for that I was humbled, not knowing how I deserved her love, but knowing I would spend every day of the rest of my life earning it.
Tris shifted in my arms, resting her head against my chest. I pressed a kiss to her hair, breathing in her familiar lavender scent and felt, for the first time, that I was exactly where I needed to be.
“Hey, Tink?” I whispered against her hair.
“Hmm?” she murmured, her fingers drawing lazy patterns on my chest.
“Thank you.”
She lifted her head, her brow furrowed in confusion. “For what?”
I swallowed hard, emotion thick in my throat. “For seeing me. The real me. Even when I was trying my damnedest to hide him.”
Her smile was soft, and a little sad around the edges. “I’ve always seen you, Killian. I was just looking through the wrong lens. I didn’t see the treasure of your love, and you buried it, making it impossible to find. Now that it’s been dug up, I’m never letting it go.”
I tightened my arms around her, careful of my injuries, and made a silent promise to both of us. No more running. No more hiding. Whatever came next—good or bad, easy or hard—we’d face together. The lost boy and his fiery fairy, finally finding a home in each other.
And that, I realized, was the greatest journey of all.