83. Chapter 83
Chapter eighty-three
Abbie
A bbie
I blink, stunned by Gabe’s words, not even sure I’ve heard him correctly. “What?”
“Move in with me. I’m not even going to try to pretend I ever want you to leave, Abbie.”
My head is spinning. My heart is racing. “Gabe, if this is about protecting me—”
“It’s not. I mean yes, I want to protect you, Abbie, but that’s one of a million things I want with you. I need you here. Dexter needs you here.”
I’m terrified he’ll regret this. I’m terrified he’ll hurt me when he does. “You’re a protector, Gabe. I don’t even think you know this about yourself, but you are. Let’s decide after this is over.”
“We have no idea when this will be over or even how to determine the meaning of over.”
Alarmed, I pull back to look at him. “What does that mean?”
“What if they don’t find the killer for six months? What if they never find the killer? When is it over? Move in with me, Abbie. Say yes. Be here with me.” Dexter barks his approval, feeding off of Gabe’s energy.
I want to say yes. I do. I want to just be with this man. I want it to be as perfect as it feels, but I’m terrified. This is moving so fast, too fast for me to protect myself. Too fast for him to know what he really wants. “Gabe—”
“This isn’t what you want.” His voice is taut, his body rippling with sudden tension. “That’s what this is.” He cuts his stare and then looks at me, the warmth in his eyes now gone. His look is flat. His tone flatter. “That’s what I needed to know.” He releases me. “That’s the way to put things into perspective.”
“No. No perspective. I just—Gabe. I don’t want you to—”
“End of conversation, Abbie.” He steps around me, and then he’s gone, walking away even as I try to catch his arm.
“Gabe.”
I rotate and so does Dexter. We find Gabe striding rapidly toward the bar, shrugging out of his suit jacket as he does, and I can almost feel him slipping away. I don’t want him to slip away. I hurry toward him and Dexter is right there by my side, a sweet, confident, but polite boy, who knows not to intrude, but needs to be close. I catch up with Gabe as he’s pouring a drink.
I don’t even hesitate. I’m around the bar and grabbing his arm in two seconds flat. He doesn’t even turn to face me. He fills his glass. “Please talk to me.”
“I’m drinking right now.”
“You aren’t giving me the chance to explain.”
“You explained just fine.”
“Obviously I didn’t or you wouldn’t be angry right now.”
He downs his drink and refills it. I grab the glass and take a big swig, the amber liquid burning a path down my throat, but still, Gabe doesn’t look at me. “I’m scared,” I admit. “You scare me.”
He looks down at me. “And I’m not worth that risk, the way you are to me. Check. Got it.”
“You know what I went through. You know how much I have to overcome.”
“And you have no idea what I went through and you never will.”
Anger flares wicked hot. “And there it is. The reason I’m so damn scared with you. You have secrets you never want me to know. Secrets some part of you has determined can’t be told. Telling me destroys us. You don’t trust me or us and yet you want to move in together? When you trust me, really trust me, then I’ll move in with you.” I set the glass down and turn away from him.
He catches my arm and suddenly he’s facing me, dragging me to him. “I told you, I need time.”
“And I respect that, but how do I move in with you now, Gabe? My God. Don’t you see how hard I’m falling for you? Don’t you see how easily you could hurt me? What if you never trust me? What if you never really believe in me or us?”
“Abbie, damn it—”
“I’m going to fall in love with you and you’re going to break my heart. This is how this ends. I need to keep my apartment. I need a place of my own to fall when it’s over.”
He drags me closer, fingers tangling in my hair. “I’m not letting you fall anywhere but into me, woman. What part of that do you not understand? I’m not walking away.” And then he’s kissing me, a deep, curl-my-toes kiss, and I’m no longer holding back.
Sinking into his long, lean, hard perfection, he’s warm and strong and I hold on tight. I never want to let go. I have never in my life wanted anyone the way I want Gabe. I have never needed anyone the way I need Gabe. I have never wanted to kiss until I can kiss no more, but I do now. I do with Gabe.
“Say you’ll move in with me,” he demands, tearing his mouth from mine.
“Gabe,” I whisper, desperate for him to understand. “Take the time to trust me. I will give it to you.”
“I trust you.”
It’s then that I realize that denying him anything is like holding me and us ransom and that’s not what I want. That’s not what I mean to do. “I want—”
“I want,” he echoes and his mouth closes down on mine, and this time, there is demand and lust in his kiss, in his touch. He owns me right there by the bar, without ever taking off my clothes. This man claims me with his tongue, with his hand running down my back. With the emotions inside him, overflowing into me, around me. This man consumes me.
I don’t even think about holding back when he yanks my skirt up to my waist. My sex clenches and my mouth is right there with his, colliding again, tasting the hunger on his lips as my own. He grips my panties and yanks, my yelp transforming to a moan as his fingers slide along the wet seam of my body, pressing inside me. “Gabe,” I pant, gripping his tie and pulling on the knot. He has on too many clothes.
He lifts me and sets me on the counter and in a frenzy of movement, he’s just naked enough to press his cock inside me, to drive into me, thick and hard. And he does. He drives deep, nestles into the farthest part of me, and whispers by my ear, “I need you with me, Abbie.”
Need .
That word undoes me. He undoes me. I want to say as much but he’s suddenly driving into me, sensations rocketing through me, my hips lifting into his hips; fingers gripping his shirt. I suck in a breath, intending to speak but words don’t come. His thrust does. His cock drives into me and my legs wrap his hips. Over and over, he pumps, thrusts, drives, and grinds into me. Over and over, he kisses me, touches me, pleases me to the point that I can’t breathe. I can’t think. It’s intense. It’s fast. It’s insanity and the best insanity I have ever known.
I come fast, too fast, but he follows, both of us quaking with release. Both of us clinging to each other. We collapse with the ease of our orgasms, his face buried in my neck. My fingers tangled in his hair and I press my cheek to his, lips at his ear as I say, “And I need to be with you,” I confess.
He pulls back to look at me. “What does that mean?”
“It means I get it now. You need to know I trust you enough to take this risk. You need to know that before you trust me enough to confess what you believe to be your sins. So yes, Gabe. I’ll move in with you. I would be so very happy to move in with you.”
“You said—”
“That I was scared, and I am, but I get it now. You are, too. So let’s be scared together.”
He cups my face and stares down at me, searching my eyes, looking for truth and then saying, “Yes. Let’s be scared together.”