Chapter 4
Cal headed for Captain Nguyen’s office with resignation.
Earlier, he’d crossed a line, and he could expect a reprimand.
He deserved it. He knew better than to talk to his CO the way he had.
The dagger tattoo seemed to tingle and he rubbed it.
His reminder that impulsive actions have consequences hadn’t stood a chance against his need to protect Io.
He knocked lightly and waited. When permission came, he entered immediately.
Not taking chances, he came to attention. And tried not to gape at the room.
It wasn’t the size. It wasn’t the Caribbean-blue walls. It was the drum kit in the corner, the children’s table with two tiny chairs on the balcony, and the four desks arranged like a classroom. Had this been a school?
“Close the door, Sergeant, and sit down,” BD said.
“Yes, sir.” Cal obeyed, taking the chair opposite the captain’s desk, but sitting as close to attention as possible.
The good news was the Big Dog’s voice was normal. When he was angry, he spoke softly. The bad news was the closed door.
“Sir, I want to apologize. I let my surprise get the better of me. It won’t happen again.”
BD leaned back, studying him. It felt like forever before he spoke. “You have twelve years in the Army. Not a single blemish on your record. Care to explain what happened downstairs?”
“Sir, you know what happened. I was trying to protect my wife. I want her safe.”
“Your wife volunteered for this.”
“Yes, sir. I understand that. She underestimates the danger involved with Torres.”
The Big Dog stared again, dissecting him. “You keep talking like she doesn’t know what she’s doing. I’ve known her less than a day and I can tell she’s not reckless.”
Cal’s jaw tightened. “She’s still a civilian. She works for a nonprofit, not a security company. Sir, I respectfully request that you not accept Io’s offer to help on the op. I need her to be safe.”
“The Russian mob is hunting for her. That means she’s already at risk. Her sister, too.”
Cal nodded. “I understand that, but there’s a difference between being at risk and going out, chasing danger. Torres solves problems with a bullet.”
BD studied him again. “Do you think Lurch is chasing danger by trying to attract Torres’s attention? What about the Wizard when he was our eyes and ears on the drug lord?”
“That’s different. Lurch and Oz are soldiers. Io isn’t.”
“No, she’s not a soldier.” BD’s tone sharpened. “But she’s not na?ve, either. I’ve watched her for less than a day and I can tell she’s deliberate. She calculates. She doesn’t flinch from risk, but she doesn’t run toward it blindly. You’re the one reacting out of fear.”
The anger hit fast, but Cal braced against it. BD was wrong, but pushing his CO wasn’t smart. He wasn’t about to argue about it. “Sir—”
“And that’s what ended your marriage.”
“We had philosophical differences,” Cal said stiffly, choosing the safest, blandest version of the truth.
BD let the silence stretch. “You wanted her out. She wanted to stay in. That’s not philosophy. That’s asking the woman you claim to love to be less than who she is.”
“I was asking her to be safe.”
“Did she ask you to leave your job?”
“That’s different.”
BD raised his brows, but stayed silent, letting Cal hear the hollowness of his own argument. He hated how fast the irritation flared—because BD wasn’t wrong.
“How would you feel if it were the Nerd?”
“My fiancée and I already had this discussion. She wanted to stay and finish her job. I wanted her safe in the States. She’s still in Trujillo, researching the treasure.” BD’s jaw flexed. “And she doesn’t have half the instincts your wife has. Did you want to continue down this path?”
The warning in Captain Nguyen’s voice was unmistakable.
“How can you stand it?” Cal asked quietly. Sincerely.
“I endure it because it’s important to her. If it’s important to her, it’s important to me. Is it hard? Yes, but I can’t ask her to be less than who she is.”
The words hit like a blow. BD didn’t know a damn thing about losing someone he loved—not if he believed what he just said. Cal shoved the reaction down hard. He was already in trouble and pointing out a few harsh truths to his CO would only make things worse.
He returned to the point that mattered. “You’re going to allow her to work on this op, and nothing I say will change your mind, will it, sir?”
“I made the decision because she knows what she’s doing. Your discomfort doesn’t factor in.”
Cal looked down at the dagger tattoo. Ugly, done poorly. A nineteen-year-old’s impulse. Instead of getting it fixed, he’d kept it as a reminder.
Not a very good one.
Marrying Io had been another impulse.
“I want to work with her,” Cal said, because the alternative—someone else missing something he wouldn’t—was unthinkable.
He’d told her to leave Germany because he couldn’t watch her die.
He still didn’t want a front-row seat for that, and the only way to keep her safe was to be her partner, for her safety to be his responsibility, whether she wanted it or not.
“No. That’s not happening.”
“I know her. I can anticipate her tactics.”
“One, you’re emotionally invested. I can’t trust you won’t interfere in a way that puts the op at risk. Two, you and Ms. Desmond are already arguing. Estranged spouses do not make good partners.”
“I won’t derail the op, sir.”
“You expect me to believe that if you perceive a risk to her, you won’t intercede? Even if she’s already assessed the situation? I don’t believe that for one minute.”
Hard to argue with that. He couldn’t promise not to protect Io. But no one else knew her like he did.
“I won’t pretend I’m objective,” Cal said. “I’m not. But I know her better than anyone on this team. I know how she operates under pressure. I know what she’ll risk and what she won’t. That makes me useful.”
The Big Dog didn’t respond.
“I’m not asking you to trust me to be emotionless,” Cal said. “I’m asking you to trust my instincts. If something goes wrong, I’ll see it before anyone else. And I’ll act to protect the op—not just her.”
BD leaned back, arms crossed. “You’re asking me to gamble the mission on your ability to compartmentalize.”
Cal nodded. “Yes, sir. Because if you send someone else, and they miss something I wouldn’t have, she dies. And we both have to live with that.”
Nguyen closed his eyes briefly, grimaced, then pinned Cal with a hard look. “Let’s say I buy your argument. Do you think she wants you attached to her hip? Whoever I assign to play bodyguard will be with her around the clock. She might not want to work with you.”
“I think I can convince her,” Cal said, hoping he was right.
“You think so? Do you also think that you can take orders from her? Because while you’re out there, she’s in charge.”
Fuck. He hadn’t expected that. “You’re putting a civilian in charge of our op?”
BD’s voice went soft. Dangerous. “No, Sergeant. I am in charge of this op. But just as Lurch decides how he handles his cover as a gunrunner, Ms. Desmond gets to decide how she plays the role of disloyal and greedy Paladin League employee.”
Cal went rigid, sitting at attention. “Sorry, sir. I was surprised you would allow her that much autonomy. I wasn’t questioning your command.”
“She’s been working for Archer for years. She knows how to handle herself. That’s enough for me. You still want the role of bodyguard knowing you won’t be the one issuing the orders?”
He didn’t hesitate. Couldn’t. “Yes, sir. Io is in charge. Understood.” The words scraped going out.
The captain studied him, and then said, “You’ll need to convince her to work with you.”
“Yes, sir.”
“If she says no, that’s it. No arguing. If she agrees, I’ll give you the assignment. But if I hear a single complaint from her, I’m yanking you back to the safe house and replacing you with Ski.”
“Understood, sir.”
“Let me make sure you understand the assignment.” BD leaned forward.
“You are playing the role of bodyguard, which means she is playing the role of your employer. You are not her leash. You are not there to disagree with her tactics. Your job is to keep her alive, and if she tells you to back off and let her run, you let her run. You don’t push.
You don’t argue. You don’t pull rank. She is in charge. ”
Cal ground his teeth, but managed, “Understood, sir.”
“I have a briefing with her after dinner. You have until then to convince her she can trust you. If she doesn’t agree, Ski goes with her. Dismissed.”
“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.” He started to salute, remembered the captain wanted them to act as if they were mercenaries at all times, and lowered his arm before completing the gesture.
Cal closed the door behind him and stood in the hallway, breath tight.
He’d lived this before.
At sixteen.
Elena slamming her bedroom door after he told her no. He never heard her leave. Never knew she’d slipped out the back. Not until the police knocked on the door.
He’d been responsible for keeping her safe.
And now Io was stepping into danger.