Chapter 23
Io refused to argue with Cal. Even if he was spoiling for a fight.
The hotel room was long and narrow with the smallest table she’d ever seen in front of the windows, two chairs squeezed in on either side.
There was an entire wall of what appeared to be acoustic tiles in various earth tones and both beds had bark-colored bedspreads and celery-green pillows.
Cal was going over and beyond to make sure they were secure, so she let him have at it and walked to the table to put down their bag of carry-out.
As soon as that was out of the way, she tossed her pack on the nearest bed. It put Cal closest to the door, and since he’d insist on that location anyway, she was taking one more step to avoid a potential inflection point.
She gave herself a mental pat on the back because she was at least as irritated with him as he was with her. Wedging her way behind the table, she looked out the window, shook her head, and pulled the heavy drapes closed.
There was no space to move. The beds almost touched the opposite wall, leaving only a narrow walkway between door and window.
Frowning, Io unpacked their butifarra sandwiches from the bag.
Cal needed to burn off some of his pent-up energy, but he wasn’t going to be able to pace in here.
She’d have to work overtime to avoid an argument.
And to avoid the feeling as if she were in a tunnel. A very nice tunnel, but holy crap this room was tight. It was a good thing she wasn’t claustrophobic.
The scent of seasoned ham wafted out and her stomach growled.
The yeasty aroma of the rolls competed with the lime-infused onions and chilies, making her mouth water.
It was late, and if she’d known they were going to wait this long to eat, she’d have helped herself to a few cookies while having coffee with Hernandez.
She pressed her lips together and pulled out the soda and the bags of chips.
Cal was still fucking around with the door, quadruple checking the locks. Io bit her lip to stop herself from commenting. One word and the powder keg they were sitting on would blow.
Io worked one of the chairs far enough from the table to slip into it and unwrapped her sandwich.
She was done waiting for him to finish up and join her.
Lifting her sandwich, she took a bite, the lime-soaked onions stinging her tongue.
She chewed slowly, savoring the tang of the spices, the crispness of the roll.
He made another check, this time of the bathroom.
Io grimaced and took a second bite to keep herself from speaking.
She’d already checked it. Aside from the ugly fake marble in a weird shade of blue, there was nothing there to see.
The acoustic panels seemed to swallow the sounds Cal made, enhancing the feeling of being underground.
When he finally finished checking the bathroom and returned to the room, Io took another bite of food.
It was the only way to stop herself from snapping at him.
Did he seriously think she was incapable of doing a rudimentary search of a space so small that literally a cockroach wouldn’t have a place to hide? For real?
“You’re eating?” The question came out with equal parts aggravation and surprise.
“I’m hungry.” Io couldn’t help the clipped note in her voice. He noticed and the scowl Cal had been sporting all afternoon deepened.
He muttered under his breath as he worked his way past the beds. His shin banged into a frame leg and the cursing was lengthy and creative. When he finally reached the table, Cal glowered at her. “Did you check out the window before you closed the curtains?”
“I did.”
More muttering and Io opened her chips, stuffing a few in her mouth to stave off the caustic comment that immediately came to mind. Maybe you could try trusting me to know what the hell I’m doing.
There was more cursing as he struggled to work his way between the other chair and the window. Io ignored it. Cal opened the drapes far enough to look outside. “There’s nothing but a blank brick wall,” he said.
That wall was literally so close to their hotel that no human could look up to the fourth floor and see their window even if someone could wedge themselves into the gap. She sipped her soda and ignored the need to comment. But she wanted to. Badly.
Cal pulled the curtains closed again and settled in his chair.
Not easily. He was a big, muscular man and it was a struggle for him to create enough room, but he managed.
His knees banged into the table hard enough to rock it and that inspired more cursing.
Oh, yeah, he wanted a fight and he wanted it badly.
Maybe she should oblige him.
The more she bottled up her need to make a comment or two, the higher her blood pressure climbed.
No arguing.
Her control was too tenuous and Io wouldn’t chance revealing more to Cal than she wanted him to know.
Reaching for his sandwich, Cal straightened and his head banged into the wall behind his chair.
Rubbing the spot, he glared at her as if it were her fault.
It’s just as cramped on my side, buddy. The only reason I’m having an easier time is because I’m smaller.
She took another bite of her sandwich otherwise the words might have escaped.
She was beyond the point of being diplomatic or offering sympathy.
Things had been tense since the meeting with Hernandez concluded. She’d filled Cal in, but he’d badgered her anyway and questioned everything she said, everything she did while drinking coffee. If Ski wasn’t married, she’d ship Cal back to his team’s safe house and work with the other man instead.
Cal shifted, knocked into the table again, and she grabbed her soda before it could tip over. She wanted to growl at him to sit still, but sipped her drink instead. It was becoming more and more difficult to keep her mouth shut.
Io held out a small hope that Cal’s mood would improve once he ate. It was a long shot. In the time they were together, she’d never seen him cranky because he was hungry, but maybe she’d get lucky and this would be the one time food solved the issue.
Finishing her sandwich, Io crumpled up the wrapper and tossed it in the empty bag. She was reaching for her chips, when Cal shifted again. His knee banged into hers hard enough to sting.
“Sorry,” he muttered, and while he didn’t sound remotely apologetic, Io knew he was sincere.
“No worries.”
The silence lasted long enough for Cal to finish his own dinner. As he moved to toss his own wrapper into the bag, his knee hit the table again hard enough for it to shake. Io grabbed her soda again as he began cursing.
“Why the fucking hell is this room so small?”
It wasn’t a criticism. It was a comment. That’s what Io told herself, but it felt judgmental. It felt as if he measured her and found her lacking. “It looked like a nice hotel.” Her voice was tight, but while she couldn’t hold back the comment, she worked damn hard to keep her tone even.
“Nothing like sleeping in a box.”
“How was I supposed to know this hotel had small rooms?” Damn it. She jammed a chip in her mouth to keep from saying more.
“We should have stopped at the hotel I pointed out.”
“That would be the one with the burglar bars over the entrances? The one with the sign about dormitory accommodations which means you’re sharing with strangers? The one that boasted two bathrooms on every floor? That hotel?”
“At least I’d have room to turn around.”
Io scowled, tossed her empty chip bag in with the other garbage, and took the last sip of her soda before she added the cup to the collection. “Right, because sharing a room with a dozen unknowns is the height of security.”
Irritated with herself and even more aggravated with him, Io pushed to her feet. This time she connected with the base of the table, making it rock.
“Hey!” Cal made a grab for his soda in the nick of time. “Be careful.”
“Right. You knocked into the table half a dozen times. I do it once and it’s a problem.
” Io pressed her lips together, shook her head, and walked away.
She didn’t make it past the beds before he caught up with her and took her arm.
Even when he was angry, Cal was careful not to hurt her.
She had a moment to appreciate his awareness of his size and strength before he turned her to face him and she had to meet his glare.
“What is your problem?” he asked.
The accusation pushed her temper to the ignition point.
“My problem? My problem?” She jerked her arm free from his hand, using more force than necessary since he wasn’t holding on very tightly.
“From the moment we left the café, you’ve badgered me for intel, questioned how I handled the situation, told me what you thought I should have said instead, and generally acted as if I were incompetent. ”
“I never—”
“Bullshit, Callum. You were insufferable. Then you got all broody until we checked into the hotel. Since then I’ve gotten to listen to more cursing than I’ve heard at one time in my entire life.
Watched you search the bathroom even though I already took care of it.
Double checked the window, never mind that I looked.
Listened to you bitch and moan about the room.
You’ve flat out wanted a fight for hours and I’m done avoiding it.
You want to have it out? Let’s have it out. ”
Cal’s eyes flashed and he opened his mouth.
“You’re going to deny it and we both know it’s a lie.” Io took a step forward, going toe-to-toe with him and lifted her chin to glare. “You’ve been trying to pick a fight for hours and I’ve finally had enough. You win. Let’s go.”
For a moment, he only stared at her, his velvety-brown eyes turbulent from his aggravation. His dark hair fell into his face. “You fucking pushed Hernandez,” Cal accused, voice low. “He’s not some low-level lackey and he’s every bit as dangerous as his boss. What the hell were you thinking?”
“I was thinking,” she growled, voice low, “that it would look strange if I said, one percent? That’s awesome.
I’m all in. You don’t think he’d be suspicious?
The story planted for the mole at the Paladin League was that I’m a gambler who likes the high life.
In what world would a person like that accept the first offer? ”
“You might not gamble with money, but you sure as hell gamble with your life.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. I played my role which means I played it safe.
Hernandez anticipated my reaction and had a ready response.
The only risk happening at the café was what you were going to do.
I had to continually check to make sure you weren’t going to blow everything, and if it weren’t for the two bodyguards gripping you, you might have done just that. ”
“I wasn’t blowing anything.”
“I saw them holding you down. You were ready to storm over to the table and take charge because you have so little trust in me and my abilities that you couldn’t just relax and let me do my job.”
“You’re my wife. It’s my duty to protect you.” Cal leaned closer, meeting her glare for glare. “I’ll always be responsible for you, Io. That doesn’t change.”
“Your wife? You told me to go back to LA and get the hell out of your life. You told me that if I wanted to take risks, you were washing your hands of me. You know what? You don’t get to act overprotective when you already made it clear you don’t want me.”
“Don’t want you? I never stopped wanting you.”
And then his mouth was on hers and the argument exploded into desire. Into need. Io clutched him, clinging to Cal as she met his fire with her own. She’d been without him for months and was starving for his touch. His taste.
She felt desperate, as if she couldn’t get close enough to him.
Cal pulled her tightly against him, wrapping his arms around her, kissing her as if he felt the same hunger she did. The same need for connection. For continuation.
One of his hands went under the hem of her T-shirt, caressing bare skin. Io melted into him, sighing softly against his lips.
It had always been like this between them. Heat. Tenderness. The memory of love she couldn’t afford to feel again.
Io stiffened. Love.
Right.
She loved him, but Cal didn’t love her. Not enough to want to keep her.
This heat, this hunger had always been the easy part.
It wasn’t what broke them. It wasn’t what would fix them.
She couldn’t do casual, not with this man.
Him shoving her away once had nearly destroyed her.
Not a second time. She couldn’t survive another rejection.
Pushing lightly against his chest, Io broke the kiss. “Stop.”
He went still, studied her face, then with a nod, he released her and stepped back.
And even though she’d been the one to end this interlude, Io felt the loss as keenly as if Cal had been the one to call the halt. Damn, he left her confused. With a rueful smile, she turned and escaped to the bathroom.
It was time to pull herself together. To be strong. To do the tough things.
Io pressed her palms against the sink, steadying herself. She loved him, but her love hadn’t been enough. It had never been enough for anyone except her sister. She bit her lip hard, trying to stave off the tears. She wouldn’t cry over Cal Baggnell. Not again.
She still loved him, would always love him, but his rejection had wrecked her. Left her a shell of herself for longer than she liked to admit. She wasn’t going back to that place. Not even for Cal.
Especially not for Cal.