Chapter 11 #2
I shiver at the hint of a threat in his voice and half wish he didn’t have such a hold on me like that.
“I suppose I can behave myself since you’re suitably repentant.”
Still, I’m not sure where this leaves us. Leaves me. My baby doesn’t live far from here, and it would be a full-on scandal to bring her—
“Show me a picture.”
My heart races. “You want to see a picture of the baby?”
“And tell me her name.”
A lump forms in my throat. I nod and pull out my phone. Log into the secure cloud app where I keep all her photos. Serves me well, now that I don’t have access to my old phone anyway.
My eyes grow misty when I open up the folder with her pictures. Bright blue eyes the color of cornflowers, pink-tinged chubby cheeks, her face spread wide with a grin. Messy pigtails with wisps of hair escaping make her look adorably tousled.
“The day I had her, there was ivy outside the hospital window. I didn’t want her to have a family name. I wanted something different but not too outlandish, so…her name is Ivy.”
“Ivy,” he says reverently, pronouncing each syllable in his accent. “I like that. Ivy’s resilient and sturdy but delicate all at the same time.”
I blink and swallow. “Yeah.”
“She’s absolutely beautiful,” he says, still in awe. “She looks like a little angel.”
“Oh, she can have her moments,” I say, a little too loudly to cover up the shake in my voice.
“It’s a two-year-old’s job to act like a terrorist,” he says with a shrug. “I have younger siblings and cousins. You should’ve seen Polina when she was younger.”
That makes me giggle. “She’s fierce now. I can’t imagine what she was like when she was younger.”
“Tomorrow, Harper. Tomorrow, we get her.”
Wait.
I stare at him. I shake my head, not comprehending. He didn’t say visit her. He said get her.
“We…bring her home with us? Are you serious?”
His brow furrows and he nods sternly. “You married into Bratva. She needs protection, and she’s your daughter. She isn’t safe, Harper.”
My heart’s beating too fast. I’m dizzy and hot.
“But I—I don’t even know how to be a mother.”
“It’s not that complicated,” he responds. “You love her with everything you’ve got. You show her the way to be a good human. And if there was anything your parents did that was wrong or hurtful…you do the opposite.”
I can’t help it. I smile.
“That sounds…oddly simple. And what do you know about being a good human?”
He tugs my hair again. “I was talking about how to be a good mother. Being a good father is something entirely different.”
Is it, though?
I swallow and lick my lips because the idea of Aleks…holding Ivy and trying to be a good father… I swoon a little.
“What does it mean to you, to be a good father?”
He thinks for a moment before speaking. “In my world, you show your love by being willing and able to burn the world down for the people you love. It means your undying protection, no matter the cost.”
A beat passes before I speak. I know in my heart he means every word.
“There must be more to it. Isn’t there?”
“I don’t know if there is. I’m sure you can doll it all up with things like...morals and shit like that, but in the end, do you really love someone if you’re not willing to lay down everything for them? No matter who they are? No matter what they do?”
My parents weren’t willing to give up anything for me.
Not their pride. Not their time. Nothing.
Parents like to lie to their children and tell them they love them, but so many people only like the idea of loving.
So many want to be adored and loved back, but is that self-serving? Is that really what love is?
How would I know?
I want to know.
“Does it have to be complicated?” he asks. “We don’t even know each other but there’s chemistry here. Does marriage have to be complicated?”
“Not at all. I obey your every command and you buy me nice things. Sounds simple enough.”
He tugs my hair again.
“That sounds like a fair deal.”
We sit in silence, the weight of what we’ve revealed between the two of us demanding reverence for a little while. It wasn’t just the revelation that I have a child but so much more. We’ve both said out loud what probably neither of us has ever had the ability to say to another human being before.
I want to raise children with you.
I can be a good parent.
I can be a good spouse.
I can choose to give what I was never given.
Finally, I lean over and brush my lips across his stubbled jaw. I close my eyes when he returns the kiss with a kiss of his own. Deeper. Darker. Dominant.
And then his hands are in my hair as if anchoring himself to me. I bared a huge part of myself to him tonight. I gave him what I’ve never given any other human being before.
And he didn’t trounce on my truth but cherished it. Took us a while to get here, but that only makes it that much sweeter.
He’ll bring my daughter to me.
He said she could come here with us.
I need to thank him in a way words can’t.
I caress his face, his jaw, the broad swell of his shoulders. I run my hands along his biceps, appreciating how perfect and strong he is. When his mouth parts, my tongue darts into it. I relish the low, utterly male sound he makes, half groan, half growl, and nip his lip with my teeth.
It’s just enough of a show of dominance to poke him, and the next thing I know I’m flat on my back and he’s on top of me, his full weight pressing me into the bed.
He doesn’t ask me what’s come over me or demand a discussion. He only slowly and deliberately strips me until I’m bared to him, the depth of his blue eyes boring into me with the power of a laser.
I fumble with his belt, and he unzips his pants.
Shoves his clothes off and drops them to meet mine in a tumbled heap as we rejoin each other, naked and bared.
He palms my ass and lifts one of my legs to straddle him before he glides into me.
My head hits the pillow when I’m filled by him, a glimmer of perfect brilliance shining in his eyes with the sudden need to claim me.
I ride the waves of sensation brought on by being vulnerable and exposed, in so many more ways than he’s done to me physically. There’s a silent thanks, a silent plea for mercy, an understanding that passes between us.
My eyes widen in surprise when he holds my gaze and brings his heavy hand to the base of my neck. Thick, rough fingers close around me. I gasp for breath.
“Good girl,” he whispers when I don’t struggle.
My pulse spikes and the first wave of pleasure washes over me, a prelude.
The rumble of approval undoes the last knot in my chest. My heart races when another spasm of pleasure ricochets through me.
I whimper and toss my head back. He comes on the heels of my own pleasure.
“That’s my girl,” he whispers as we ride the high of our joined ecstasy.
His fingers ghost over the skin at my neck, and he glides his hand down the length of my body until he cups my ass.
Another thrust sends the last spasms of pleasure through me.
While I lie there on the bed, his hot seed still leaking from me, his fingers travel upward to grasp my chin. His gaze burns into mine with an intensity that would scorch the earth.
“You’re my wife,” he says in a low growl. “Your daughter belongs with her mother. Your child will live here with us.”
I nod, unsure as to why he needs to state this again. Wordlessly, my arms encircle his neck. The tiniest trickle of sweat drips from his temple down the length of his chiseled jaw.
“And while she’s here, we’ll protect her. Both of us. I’m going to teach you everything I know, Harper. Because make no mistake. There will be vengeance for what’s happened to you.”