Chapter 27
RENATA
"Are you all right?" Isabella asks me.
"I'm fine. So is Ollie. What about you?"
"I'm good,” she repeats, brushing it off. She walks into the room and takes a seat across from us. “Ollie, my apologies. I was the one who encouraged Renata to bait Carlos. I knew that you would never allow it, so I made it happen."
He clenches his jaw and glares at her, obviously not super happy about the situation, but what is he going to do about it now?
"Is it always going to be like this? I’m not sure if I’m happy about the fact that you're constantly going to be doing this. Are you going to be interfering all the time between me and my wife?" Ollie asks
"No," she says quietly. "It isn’t like that.”
These two have always been this way and always will be. He's protective, and she's headstrong.
“Listen. I know you have to get shit done, but I also don't want you going behind my back, Isabella. How would you feel if I did that with your brother? With your husband?"
"If you told me the truth, I would've done my best."
Lev snorts. "You would’ve allowed Renata to be bait for Carlos?" he says. "Bullshit, Ollie. You would’ve made her stay right by your side, and the next thing we know, six months from now, Carlos would still be at large.”
"Glad one of you can be so lax about all this," Ollie snaps.
Something’s shifted in me. His protectiveness and sternness are kind of… cute.
Cute? What's wrong with me?
I take a moment to appreciate how good it is to be held like this. I haven’t had many moments in my life where I felt completely safe. I inhale his clean, strong, dependable scent. Lev is right. He would never have allowed me to be hurt by Carlos. And I love that about him.
"You two are the people I love most in this world," I say, and to my credit, my voice doesn’t even waver.
"You're going to have to bury the hatchet or whatever the fuck you need to do so that you get along.
Isabella did what she thought she had to, Ollie.
So did I. Going forward, we need to make it a rule that we will be as transparent with each other as possible, and when that's not possible, we trust each other's decisions. "
Ollie half smiles. “Sounds about right to me. That’s what my brothers and I have to do.”
“Exactly."
Isabella and Ollie are still kind of glaring at each other, and it finally dawns on me that maybe they’re so at odds with each other because they both love me.
She’s as concerned about me as he is, and they can’t agree on what they need to do. Well, who would’ve known? I'm a little honored. I've never had this many people love me.
Lev looks at me seriously. It’s funny how he isn’t related to Ollie by blood, but they look a bit alike. Maybe it’s the Russian blood and alpha male thing.
“Renata," Lev says carefully. "We need to discuss what happened with your brother, what we will do with his body, and what happens next. Are you all right with having that discussion now?”
I thought maybe I was, but I feel my eyes widen in horror, my heart pounds, and my palms feel sweaty. I guess my instincts have answered for me. “No, I’m not alright with that,” I say honestly. "I would much prefer you guys have that discussion without me. Thank you."
"Of course she’s not okay with it!" Ollie snaps at Lev. “What the fuck is the matter with you? That was her brother, you asshole!"
I place a hand on his chest to calm him down.
"It's all right," I say. King Arthur looks at me with his little teddy bear face and licks my finger. I scratch his ears, and he lets out a deep sigh, lies down, and promptly falls asleep in my lap. My heartbeat slows. He might be the best gift anyone’s ever given me.
“Ollie, it’s okay. He asked, and I answered. But thank you."
He finally grunts and nods.
God, I love him so. It’s the sort of thought that makes all other thoughts diminish as it takes hold, emblazoned in my mind and heart. I love him.
I thought I did before, but now I know love is so much more than a shared connection and attraction.
Maybe love isn’t perfect without a struggle, but it grows stronger through adversity, embracing all parts of who we are, from the passionate to the everyday. Maybe weathering troubles only underscores our commitments to each other.
Maybe love is about respecting the other person’s differences, loving them, flaws and all.
Maybe love takes time and flourishes as it ages if it’s well watered and attended to.
Maybe, just maybe, I'm alright with not having all the answers, not doing everything perfectly. Because I love Ollie Romanov, flawed and human, fierce and devoted, and I know he loves me.
I have seen his transformation, and I am honored to see where we go next.
From a ruthless enforcer who kept me prisoner, I watched as he gradually opened up to the possibility of a real connection, real love, of finding a way to balance his dark past with hope for the future.
He found a way to break the barriers that held him back and let me in.
When I met him, I was a guarded survivor, resilient, yes, but walled off from anything and everyone around me. I've learned to trust myself, to trust others, to find a sense of peace and acceptance for both of us.
I don’t have to be strong and ruthless like Isabella, amazing with a gun like Harper, or a brilliant scientist like Nikko’s wife Vera… or any of those things. Maybe I can just be… me. Renata Carrera Romanova.
I have a place here too. I belong.
"Mikhail is going to want to talk about everything that happened because we need to act now,” Lev insists, talking pragmatically and, thankfully, unaware of the transformation inside me. He and Ollie hold the kind of silent exchange that I don’t quite understand.
Lev glares, and Ollie shakes his head. They grunt and gesture, and finally, Lev throws his hands up in the air, and Ollie speaks up.
“Listen. Renata has been through enough.
We'll make sure that everything is locked down, of course," Ollie says.
“But I don't want to put her through this right now.
She deserves a break. It's been too much. "
"I'm fine," I say quietly, but when Ollie opens his mouth to protest, I shake my head. “I promise," I say softly.
Ollie finally nods, even though his grip tightens a little bit more on me. "All right. Are you hungry? Need water? Something to eat?"
Lev’s dark chuckle from across the room catches Ollie's attention.
"Shut up," Ollie snaps.
But Lev shakes his head. "No. I am so not going to fucking shut up. After you lectured every single one of us about not falling in love, about how weak we were because we did it, look at you," Lev continues in a mocking voice. "Can I get you water? Something to eat?"
"Lev, my God, grow up," I snap at him, but I can't help but smile. "I'm fine, but I'm not getting off Ollie's lap no matter what you guys say. So you can tell Mikhail he can just fuck off if that's what he wants to do."
"What was that?" Mikhail asks from the doorway, and I feel like I’m six years old. I bury my face in Ollie's chest.
"Nothing," I say, which makes Ollie chuckle.
"Give her some space. She’s under duress," Ollie says quietly. His lips quirk up as he leans in and whispers in my ear. “Behave yourself.” My cheeks flame.
Thankfully, Ollie changes the subject. “We all need to chat. Mikhail. What’s going on?"
The rest of the guys walk into the room. I guess I'm all brave about telling Mikhail to fuck off unless he's standing right in front of me. This group doesn’t take kindly to disrespect, and my husband doesn’t either.
Begrudgingly, I’ll admit I kind of love that about him.
"Isabella discovered that unbeknownst to her, Renata has a huge inheritance coming to her she didn’t know about and a rival cartel, La Sombra Roja, got wind of it,” Mikhail says.
"Carlos admitted in the end that he was working for them, that they intended on taking Renata for their own so they could claim her inheritance. And—"
"Which is bullshit to me," Ollie says. “She’s married.”
Isabella interjects. “They are known for being ruthless and disregarding the laws of the land, so to speak."
"Do you have personal experience with them?" I ask her.
"Unfortunately, yes." She swallows hard and looks at Lev before she speaks to Ollie.
"You need to keep a close eye on Polina.
That will be one of the options left to them, you see.
Now that they know Renata is married, they will likely come after Polina.
They will stop at nothing. They are ruthless.
Evil," she says. "The only reason why we haven’t had a flat-out war with them is because my father made a truce years ago. They will consider that void now since my brother is dead.”
"But you aligned yourselves with the Romanovs," Ollie says as if that explains everything.
They go on and on, discussing international organized crime syndicate bylaws and rules, regulations, respect and disrespect, and a litany of names of people I don’t know and don’t care to know. But I only hear one thing…Polina is in danger now.
Will it ever end?
Probably not.
Maybe that's okay.
Maybe these guys form their identity through being enforcers, strong and courageous.
And maybe we women were meant to be the counterpart that challenges them.
Because when I take a man like Ollie Romanov into my hands, and I know that he’s fallen for me and loves me? I feel as if I could rule the world.
"Mom is dying to feed everybody," Lev says.
My stomach growls on cue. “Rivals and threats aside, real food sounds great right now.”
"We need to shower," Ollie says. But I know him. He wants to get away. He wants me alone.
“No problem,” Mikhail says, obviously forgiving me. “We'll have food sent up to your room. Can you tell me what you want to do next, Ollie? Maybe take her as far away from here as you can? You’ve been dealing with Carlos now for quite some time. Now that he’s gone, you need a reprieve."
"I know," Ollie says quietly. When he looks at me, though, I know exactly how to respond.