Chapter 27 #2
The month is over, and I don’t have to listen to a word that man says. Don’t have to listen to any man.
I grab my most seductive dress from my closet and get ready. Sparkly red with a V-neck sharp enough to cut throats. I carefully construct my red lips to go with it, and severe cat-eye liner. I want to be the nightmare, the scandal guest in stilettos.
Besides…I need to know who’s going to wear that green dress.
The Cardells’ legacy home is a large estate, almost intimidating in its stature. The holiday decorations are over the top. Snow machines. Ice sculptures lining the driveway. Even a skating rink in the backyard.
A valet takes my car key as I’m ushered inside by a tuxedoed security guard, who checks my invitation.
Scents of cinnamon, pine, and peppermint fill the oversized windowed tent that welcomes all the wealthy in Northview. Politicians. University officials. And every Cardell I know.
Quite a few Omegas float among the crowd, but none of them would talk to me. More than those are Thetas.
Thank the gods I didn’t bring Talon. My red dress is enough to cause stares and arched eyebrows. He would’ve started fights. And I’m more on a reconnaissance mission tonight than anything.
Though I’m curious what Aiden will do if he sees me…
Scold me for not wearing his collar anymore?
Spank me in front of his family?
Slap me around while forcing me to suck him off?
I get wet thinking about the possibilities.
Deep within my heart, though, I have a fantasy I wouldn’t even tell Julien if he were alive. What if Aiden dances with me? What if he shows me off as his, as he claims? Like this is our family Christmas party?
But that’s a dumb girl dream that won’t happen.
My back is to the crowd as I fill a small glass with some white margarita punch. Frozen cranberries and mint float on the creamy surface like holly berries.
The orchestra pauses in its playing, and everyone grows quiet. When I turn around, Xavier Cardell, Aiden’s dad, has taken over the stage.
“Thank you all for coming. My father, Malcolm Cardell, has been hosting these parties for years, and we always love to see you every season. I’m proud to call my second son up here for an important announcement. After that, dinner will be served!”
He waves a suited arm toward the right stage side, and I gasp at how handsome Aiden is in his tuxedo.
Makeup must cover the bruises that were under his eyes because his skin looks fresh, if not pale.
Shoulders broad and carved from steel. Tall and looming like a villain with his smoke-colored hair, dark as pitch, and styled to perfection.
Heart pounding, I glance around for any woman wearing the green dress. But there’s no one.
Aiden’s stoic, like he always is, as he approaches the mic. But even more robotic than normal, if that were possible.
From his pocket, he pulls out a piece of paper that looks like a scroll that’s been folded several times. His eyes never lift as he stares down to read off the words in a professional, albeit cold tone.
“It’s an honor to stand here as the first Theta Rho Zeta president chosen by the new Pairing Oversight Tribunal.
Under the guidance of President Leigh Damon, these superior engagements mark a new era for our community—one every senior fraternity brother will follow.
Tonight, I’ve been asked to set an example.
To announce the engagement, the Tribunal, in its wisdom, has chosen for me. ”
My stomach clenches as I hold my breath… Aiden’s getting engaged?
“To the head of the POT, Dean Twinston, I sincerely accept your assignment to your daughter, Hailey. Miss Twinston?”
Acid floods my veins, scorching everything soft inside me until only jagged ruins remain. My pulse thunders in my throat, closing it off. Aiden appears even more ashen as he carefully folds the paper and stuffs it into his pocket.
The blonde bitch bounces up on stage in a blue dress and makes some mockery of a surprised gasp as Aiden pops open a ring box.
He doesn’t even bother to kneel. Instead, he slides the diamond ring onto her finger and slips the box back into his suit jacket while Hailey tosses her arms around his neck and leans in to kiss him.
But at the last second, he turns to face the applauding crowd…
And sees me.
I can’t look away.
I’m stuck staring into those blue eyes that seem to melt as he catches me watching. If that was some hint of emotion, I think he just showed it. But what it is, I’m not sure.
This is by far the worst horror movie I’ve ever seen. Will I have to do this with Talon? Am I never to be happy again?
Before he can see me cry, I turn around and rifle through the guests, still hooting and clapping. I’m going to throw up.
Somehow, with heated cheeks, dizzy vision, and held breath, I make it to a bathroom on the first floor inside his grandfather’s house.
No sooner have I entered than the door crashes open, and pain consumes my chest.
Aiden looks flushed with sadness, eyes red and filled with worry. He kicks the door shut behind him and locks it.
“I’m clawing my way out of it. You think I want this? I don’t— I never wanted this—”
I hold up a hand. “I don’t… I don’t want to hear it. Please.” My voice, for once, is frail.
He doesn’t stop moving toward me, gripping my waist and holding me in front of him like he’s afraid I’ll run. “Where’s my collar? Huh?”
“Was this to humiliate me? To carve me open in front of everyone so they’d see I was nothing to you? Was it revenge, Aiden? Because if it was? Congratulations. You didn’t just hurt me. You split me in two. You broke me.”
That’s when I can’t hold back the tears any longer. My face screws up, and I release all the agony from years of not being with him. The hopes I had for a different life. The delusions we could make one together. But I was so. So very stupid.
And now I’m bitter.
My heart shatters until I’m no longer moving air in my lungs. The pain is almost unbearable.
Aiden cracks. Liquid lines his lower lids, but it can’t be tears. Because he doesn’t feel anything.
“Baby girl, I’m going to get out of it, I swear. I have to make them think I’m compliant, but I’m working on—”
I squirm to get by, my vision blurred with unrelenting tears. My body hums with the torment of his words.
“You don’t get to leave me,” he snarls, slamming me back, but the edge fractures into a plea. His mouth drags against my neck, desperate, trembling. “Don’t do this. Don’t walk away. Please…Ashlyn. Please.”
But all I do is sob.
He grips my neck and lifts my face. Tears flow off my cheeks onto his hand as I try to breathe.
“Don’t stand there. Damn it! Fight me! Claw me, cut me, tear me apart. It’s who you are. That’s who we are. Anything but this silence. Anything but you walking away.”
“No.”
Because I can’t. My limbs hang like lead at my sides. There’s nothing left for me here. Every dream I had for a future of happiness, of safety, has been ripped from me.
Wild eyes search my face as he chokes on a guttural cry. “Please! Don’t go silent. Don’t give up on me. Rip me apart, baby girl...”
“I ruined it. I’m…sorry. I shouldn’t have come back. I should’ve left you alone.”
What was I thinking? That he could love me again? After what I did?
I was so na?ve.
“That’s bullshit! Fucking bullshit!” Eyes wide and searching, his cheeks flame brighter with emotion as he drops to his knees in front of me, gripping my waist. “Fine. I admit it. You’re it.
The only fucking thing that’s ever mattered to me, and it’s tearing me apart from the inside out.
Do you get that? You’re killing me, Ashlyn. ”
Swallowing back a lump in my throat, I look him solidly in the eyes and tell him through a ravaged heart, “I’m not angry anymore.”
I’m just…hollow.
I slip by his collapsing figure and walk out the door.