Chapter 41
Holding Off
LANIE
“Can I help you, miss?” An older man offered to grab my carry-on from the overhead bin as we landed at the gate in Chicago.
“You don’t have to.”
“Oh, I don’t mind. You should rest,” he lifted my suitcase gently down.
“Thanks.”
Does he know?
The man smiled. “Take care of yourself.”
As I left the jet bridge, I beamed. He was the first person to guess—even if he wasn’t brave or stupid enough to say.
I was fourteen weeks pregnant—just barely showing if you knew me, but flagging.
I saw our baby live and kicking the week before.
I had the photos to prove it. He or she was fine. At the gate, Chloe met me.
“My love, you’ve returned home,” she hammed it up.
We hugged for a while. I missed my best friend all this time. She was busy with her own work, and we’d been all over the world—far apart.
“What is different about you?” Chloe asked.
I winced.
“I hate to offend you, but… you’re glowing.”
“I am not glowing.”
“You are. How is the baby?”
“I’ll show you in the car,” I said.
I flipped through a list of beautiful pictures of our baby—still a bit of a potato in my belly.
“So sweet,” Chloe said. “Oh, Lanie, this baby is going to be so pretty. Poor Baz. You did tell him you were one of six, right? And that your parents were always busy.”
I smacked her. “Stop!”
She put her Porsche into gear, and we pulled out.
At my mother’s house, a welcome back dinner awaited.
My niece and nephews ran wild in the family room.
I couldn’t help but feel I missed out on so much.
Davey and Eva’s daughter, born months before, lay on the floor kicking her legs.
I unpacked a gift—a wooden carved sheep I bought in the village where we shot some exteriors.
As she gnawed on the toy, my twin nephews bopped around, cruising the furniture for an open lap.
Robbie, the oldest of my brother’s twins careened into me.
“Hey bud, don’t go too crazy,” I laughed, pulling him into my lap.
For NICU babies, Robbie and his brother Max, were stout. They dwarfed Daphne’s daughter, Cordelia, despite being several months younger. Cordelia was built slight and delicate like her mother. The boys were tanks, in comparison.
Robbie handed me a toy.
“Oh, thank you,” I said brightly.
“So, where is the husband?” Mother asked.
“Mum, he’s busy with work right now.”
She tutted.
No one knew what to say to me. Everyone found my surprise marriage totally bizarre, but I was an actress.
People expected me to be weird. That was just how it was.
Mum was surprised we made it this far. I hadn’t seen my husband in weeks.
When I came back to London for a scan, it was only for a day, and I didn’t tell him my plans.
He’d been off in Stockholm. No news from Baz was good news.
He hadn’t been in the press. That was the most I hoped for.
“And you’re happy to be here without him?”
“Mum, they have busy jobs,” Davey said. “People do work apart.”
“Especially in Hollywood,” Chloe chimed.
Mum shot her a look that said, “Don’t try me.”
Chloe wasn’t one of us, but she might as well have been. Mum calmed, backing off. I focused on my niblings, enjoying the moments I finally got with them once more. It had been so long. It wasn’t until everyone left for the evening that I found myself alone with the bear.
I sat on the couch with Mum.
“So, being so far apart. How does that work for the other part of your bargain?” She couldn’t help herself.
I fell silent.
“Is he even interested in women? What is the game here?”
“Baz isn’t gay,” I scoffed.
“But he lets his wife run around all over god’s green earth doing god only knows what?”
I took a deep breath. “I am working. And he has nothing to worry about—”
“No, he’s just been spotted out with other women.”
I firmly believed Baz wasn’t cheating. He could, but didn’t.
He may have lacked in many ways conventional husbands did, but Baz felt some sort of obligation to me and whatever our agreement was.
Whatever the gossip rags said, I dismissed them.
I didn’t know why I trusted my gut. I just felt—for better or worse—that I knew Baz better than anyone.
“He hasn’t. He’s…he’s a good man, Mum.”
She rolled her eyes.
I realized it was now or never. She was still convinced it was terrible, so how much worse could it go? I let the news rip.
“I’m… I’m pregnant,” I said. “So, we’re having a baby, and he will be in the family for good. So… just… let it go. I won’t tolerate you being rude to Baz.”
“You’re… pregnant?”
“Yes, mother,” I said. “I’m fourteen weeks pregnant.”
Her mouth dropped. For a moment, I thought she might hug me. Instead, she stood.
“He will leave you. He will hurt you, Lanie. But you’re too stupid to think about it.
And now you’ve permanently tied yourself to a man who will never love you or prioritize you.
I hope the money keeps you warm at night, Delanie.
Your father didn’t kill himself in business trying to support all of you so you could go over the ocean to attach yourself—”
“Mother, I did this for the family. I did this because you wanted—”
“Don’t blame me for your bad choices, Lanie! I refuse to be blamed for my daughter’s foolish behavior!”
She left. Tears fell. I again felt so alone. No matter what I did—no matter why I did it—she didn’t see it as good enough. I sobbed and dialed Chloe.
“Can I stay with you? Mum went ballistic when I told her.”
“Always,” Chloe said. “Get a cab. I love you.”
I needed someone in my corner. But the voice I really wanted to hear was my husband’s.
BAZ
“Thanks for meeting me,” I said to Caleb and our friend, an estate agent.
Within the gate of a beautiful palace in St. John’s Wood, I contemplated where my life was headed.
I resolved to buy a damn family house the minute I found out my wife went rogue and refused to warn me of her twelve-week scan.
In truth, I’d been heartbroken. It hit me with all I missed out on.
She didn’t believe anything I said about my desire to be there for her—for our baby, too.
Sometimes, Lanie’s independence infuriated me.
I hoped to buy a proper family house that wowed her.
“All the way over here?” Caleb asked.
Caleb was my gut check. Somehow, he would know if Lanie hated it. He appreciated a grand house standing on its own in a way I didn’t. He understood this side of Lanie in a way I did not. She was more his type, after all. While it was unconventional, nothing about our triangle-of-fuckery made sense.
“Lanie wants something calm and family-focused,” I said.
Caleb cocked his head.
“Yes,” I sighed. “She is.”
He did a double take before patting my back. “No wonder Baz has been a dull boy of late.”
I rolled my eyes. “The German project is the perennial reason, but thanks for your concern.”
Freddy, our friend, looked on confused.
“My wife is pregnant,” I clarified. “She’s due in about five months. So, we need a family house. It’s all she’s wanted.”
“And is she joining us?”
“She has delegated this as she shooting in the States right now,” I said.
I gathered Lanie wanted to be surprised.
“She’s a very unconventional sort,” Caleb added. “And after closing that Stockholm deal, Baz has money burning a hole in his pocket.”
It wasn’t a lie.
“This is certainly more of a family-friendly home than I ever expected you to inquire about,” Freddy agreed. “Come on inside.”
The white stone home looked impressive from the big iron fence and gorgeous white stone facade. Inside, stone floors and a grand entrance with a beautiful Georgian staircase greeted us. It would be grand enough for Lanie.
The kitchen was modern and flowed into a grand dining room overlooking the garden. A small snug sat next to a library and office.
“The downstairs is the impressive part,” Freddy said. “You won’t lose your pool, Baz.”
“Good. Lanie enjoys that bit,” I said.
Downstairs, the basement gave way to a beautiful pool flanked by two entertaining spaces. It was enough to sell me. On the first floor, the primary suite had more garden views. The typical Georgian stone exterior would delight my American wife, I suspected.
“This carpet needs to be replaced. It will need work,” I said.
“It’s new,” Freddy said.
“Doesn’t matter. I loathe it. Lanie doesn’t like carpet, either. We could put down some hardwoods or stone, but I don’t like it.”
Freddy shook his head. I knew I was a nightmare client, but anything I bought would need some renovation to make it ours.
I fancied delegating the interior design to Lanie.
She’d be a proper lady of the house. I’d tell her it was a blank canvas, and it was hers alone to paint.
The house wasn’t for me. She was right. I had a place that fulfilled that goal.
However, it was my intent to live here with her until she set me free.
I wanted a happy place to raise a family. This would be proof of that intent.
“There is a second bedroom with a bath across the way perfect for a baby,” Freddy said. “A nice, cheerful room. Upstairs, you have two more bedrooms. You could either put the nanny down here in the other room or move her upstairs.”
I loved that Freddy assumed we’d have a nanny.
Maybe we would? It would make sense, but Lanie never discussed it.
I wondered if Americans had nannies? It seemed they loved to exhaust themselves raising their children with their abilities alone.
I never understood it, but Lanie was a working woman.
I didn’t see her giving up her career—even for a baby.
After the tour, I turned to Caleb for honesty.
“I don’t know. I think you should run it by her,” Caleb said. “Truthfully, she’ll love it, but maybe she will want to give feedback?”
“I think it would please her,” I admitted. “It’s perfect for a family and it’s private.”
“These listings rarely come on the market, as you know well, Baz.”
“I know,” I sighed. “Give me a couple hours to try and ring her. It would be a cash offer.”
“Of course,” Freddy said, unfazed that I’d drop forty million in cash.
Caleb was correct that I made a killing in Sweden, but it could have been double that and I would have been happy to spend it on Lanie. She was worth it—all of it.
As if on cue, she rang me while Freddy locked the place up.
“Yes, Lanie?” I asked.
“Baz… I am sorry to call,” she said.
Her voice was emotional.
“Don’t apologize. What do you need, darling?”
“Things fell apart.”
“What do you mean?” My heart stopped.
I panicked, thinking something was wrong with the baby.
“Mum reacted in anger, so I fled to Chloe’s house,” Lanie answered. “But I cannot stay here. She’s off soon and I cannot impose any longer. Plus, I just… I’m an emotional wreck.”
She rang me because she needed to hear my voice. I worried about her, but couldn’t resist gloating internally because she needed me. She trusted me.
“I told Mum,” she continued. “I cannot go home and… I feel like a teenager who fucked around and found out.”
“You’re not, love.” I spotted Caleb’s confused face as he listened in.
“I don’t even know why I called. It’s not like you could do anything.”
“I have business in Chicago to attend to,” I lied. “I’ll come to you. I have a suite booked. I’ll send you the details.”
By now, Jeremy—waiting outside my car—stared at me, confused.
“Oh… okay. Why didn’t you tell me?” Lanie asked.
“I wanted it to be a surprise, darling,” I said. “Also, I’m buying us a property in St. John’s Wood. I will send you the details.”
“Really?” That got a hopeful response.
“Yeah. I miss you. I will be there as soon as I can get a flight,” I said. “I’ll just bump up my trip a bit.”
I hung up, narrowly missing an incriminating I love you.
“Let’s put in a bid at 37. Cash. We’ll go from there,” I told Freddy. “She didn’t bat an eye or complain.”
“I will write it up,” Freddy said.
“And Chicago?” Caleb asked.
“I have something to do,” I lied. “Jeremy, I need a hotel room and flight ASAP.”
Jeremy sighed, already exhausted.