Chapter 8
The next day, I followed Lydia around town at a distance like a coward. I’d promised Mary to talk to her, and I needed to, but I couldn’t seem to force myself to take that step.
It was selfish of me, but the moment I actually talked to her was the moment the potential of what we could have would end.
I would be alone, drifting through a life of noncommitment and imagined ease.
Lydia saw me for who I was, with all of my flaws, and still loved me.
It was an unfamiliar experience for a vampire.
Deep down, despite everything, there was a part of me that didn’t want to let her go.
As the sun began to set, I followed her to the frozen lake in Regency Meadows Park.
She walked up to the counter and paid for a pair of skates, then sat on the bench next to the lake to put them on.
I watched from behind a distant tree. The sunlight bent through the leafless, frost-covered branches, catching Lydia’s silky hair, making it shine with a soft radiance.
“I know you’re there somewhere, George Wickham,” she said softly.
I didn’t move, remaining still as death. Tuned into her voice, her beating heart, her scent, which drifted to me on the breeze.
“You’re welcome, by the way, for the truth potion.
I hope it helps or helped.” She tied off the laces on her boots and sat back, looking out over the lake.
“I understand that your past has been dangerous, and you have every right to be affected by that. Things right now aren’t exactly smooth sailing, but I want you to know that you have inspired me. ”
She rose to her feet and gazed out over the ice. I stood there uncertain of what she was doing. The last time I tried to take Lydia ice skating, she’d gotten hurt and quit.
“When I was a kid, I was so eager to go skating.” She let out a small laugh.
“That ended in about five minutes after a traumatic fall and a broken ankle. After that, even the thought of going out again makes my life flash before my eyes.” She took a deep breath.
“You’re afraid of letting anyone into your life, and that makes sense.
You know what I’m afraid of? Ice skating. ”
And with that, she pushed off over the ice. She went out as awkward as ever, with nothing to stop her. In a flash, I was at the skates stand, slapping down a ten-dollar bill and grabbing the skates off the shelf.
I rushed to the edge, sluffing off my shoes and getting mine on in record time. Lydia still hadn’t fallen and broken her neck, but she appeared as if any moment that might be a possibility. Why was she being so reckless? What was she trying to prove?
Jerking on the skates, I tied the laces and skated to her, catching her just as she was about to faceplant on the ice.
She glanced up at me, her eyes wide, her cheeks flushed, fingers trembling. A smile lit her face. “There you are.”
“What are you doing? You could have been injured.”
“You’re right.” She huffed a nervous laugh, her minty breath drifting up in small clouds. She clutched my arm as if it were a life raft. “Thanks for the save.”
Others skated around us, giving us plenty of room. I gripped her elbows, and her feet slid unsteadily across the ice, threatening to take us both down. “You should be more careful.”
“You’re more serious now.” Her head tilted, her blue eyes sparkling in the fading light. “Don’t get me wrong, I liked the old flirty Wickham. But I also enjoy seeing you like this. Feels more real. We are married, so things should feel that way.”
“Lydia—”
“You said you might not always be there, but every moment when I’ve needed you the past few days, you’ve been there, haven’t you?”
I stared at the clever light in her eyes. I broke eye contact, looking away. “It’s not what you think.”
“What’s not?”
She was so beautiful, and my body warmed to have her so near. I released one of her elbows and directed her toward the side of the lake, steadying her with my hand. “I’ve been ordered to keep an eye on you.”
She blinked. “By who? Your sire? You visited him? Who is he?”
“My compulsion won’t allow me to say. He’s in prison for murder, but even in jail he has resources. He knew about you. Everyone knows about you. Why can’t you see it’s only a matter of time before something happens? I’m bad news, Lydia. Everyone knows it. You need to open your eyes.”
The fairy lights around the lake winked on, casting a soft, warm hue over the ice.
Light snow drifted onto the few skaters.
One landed on Lydia’s nose, which had become its normal rosy color in the wintry air.
All I could think about was how I wanted to pull her close and chase away the cold, but I resisted the urge.
“Lizzy told me what happened between you and Darcy’s sister a couple of years ago at a party,” Lydia said. “How you caught that vampire who was murdering people, but then you broke the sister’s heart by leading her along.”
My stomach twisted, but I wouldn’t correct her. “Then you see what I am.”
“Just so you know, I don’t believe it. I think you did to that girl exactly what you’re doing to me. You pushed her away because you believe you’re too dangerous, not because you don’t care. You’re always looking out for others, George Wickham, but who’s going to watch out for you?”
I felt a little frustrated that she was making this so hard, and yet my heart also warmed at her words. “Lydia, I’m the one who’s dangerous. You don’t need my problems in your life.”
“First off, you have to trust that I can take care of myself.” She released me and pushed back out into the lake.
I spun around and rushed to her side.
“No, it’s okay.” Lydia said, even as she grasped my arm. “Before coming, I took a potion that would ensure I wouldn’t seriously hurt myself. It only lasts for a short time, and I can’t be like, walking in front of a bullet, but if I’m doing a simple sport, I should be fine.”
I released a breath that was half relief, half exasperation. “You’re clever. I’ll give you that.”
“I’ll take it. Now, second, did your sire command you to rush out onto the ice when you thought I was in danger?”
“What? Of course not.”
“You see, you may have had some bad luck, but you’re actually a good person who cares about people. About me.”
She gasped as she hit a snag and nearly fell.
I caught her, wrapping my arms around her, not wanting her to fall despite knowing she wouldn’t get hurt.
The snow had picked up and swirled about us like a hundred tiny dancers, twirling in silver silence, enveloping the world in soft, breathless stillness.
What she said made sense, but no matter how hard I tried, I always ended up with danger on my doorstep.
“Does it matter if it’s just bad luck if the results end up being the same?” I asked. It wasn’t as if the people around me had wanted to die. Bad luck was enough to seal their doom.
Her head cocked to the side. “Tell me—how many of the girls you’ve dated have ended up dead?”
“None, but—.”
“None. Hmm, I like those odds.”
This wouldn’t do. She kept talking her way around everything. But I couldn’t let her into my life. No matter how much I wanted to. “I’m a player, Lydia.”
Her jaw squared, and she met my gaze with a challenge in her eyes. “Why are you a player, George?”
“Because I’m terrible at commitment,” I answered.
“You’re too scared to involve anyone in your life because you worry they might get hurt.
Just why you asked me for annulment as soon as the last investigation blew over and you knew I was safe.
” She wrapped her arms around me, her heat suffusing throughout my body.
“Let me help you solve this, and then we can both be free, in whatever way you want.”
“No.”
She pulled back to gaze into my face. “Why?”
I stared into those beautiful blue eyes and spoke the truth. “Because I would never forgive myself if you got hurt.”
She blinked, then rose on her toes and brushed her lips across my cheek. I shut my eyes as her rosy scent filled my nostrils, and the sound of her steady beating heart somehow calmed my nerves.
“Lydia!” Kitty stood on the bank of the lake waving and beckoning to her sister. “It’s your turn to take over at the bakery. You’d better come, or Mom will throw a fit.”
“I’ll be right there.” Lydia leaned even closer, whispering into my ear, “I know you think you can push me away, but I’m not going anywhere, George Wickham. Married or not married, I will be here for you.”
She let go and skated awkwardly back to the bench.
Kitty looked between me and Lydia. “What were you—were you ice skating?”
“It’s okay.” Lydia gave me a wink and wave as she slipped her shoes on and rose. “I was perfectly safe.”
My little fae-witch was determined to help. I had to admire her for it. I pressed a gloved hand to my cheek, and a slow smile worked its way over my face. Lydia certainly was something else, and I wasn’t sure if I had it in me to continue resisting her charms.