Chapter 19 MAJA
MAJA
A few days later, Von and I were on our way to Atlanta.
I reclined my seat and listened to the music he played while observing his profile.
Every time he licked his lips, tingles assailed my skin.
Every so often, he’d reach over and slide his hand over my thighs, or he’d take my hand just to place a kiss on my palm.
Each time he touched me, a piece of the woman I once knew, melted away, which ate at me.
There was no way my heart could ever fall for any man let alone a man tied to an organization who swore to serve and protect.
Von turned down the music and asked, “You good, baby?”
“I am,” I replied a little too quickly. He chuckled at the lie. Chuckling too, I said, “I just wonder is there a deeper reason why you decided to take on the badge. Personally, I can see you as a stripper.”
He scoffed as if I’d said something forbidden. “You met my mama. The day she found out I was strippin’, she stopped talkin’ to me for almost a month.”
I burst out laughing at the sick look on his face. “No, she didn’t!”
“Yes, the fuck she did. Mane, I have never felt so helpless in my life.”
I cackled even harder. His face reflected how serious he was.
“I cried like she beat my ass in the middle of the street,” he added.
By now, I was laughing so hard, he had to laugh at himself.
He shook his head and said, “But it’s deeper than that.
Pensacola was so bad at one point, that my Pops shipped my mama, me, and my brothers off to keep us off the streets.
I was wildin’ and didn’t give a fuck about shit.
There was a time you couldn’t have told me that I’d be wearing a badge. ”
“Seriously?”
He nodded. “Every officer I know grew up wanting to wear a badge. I thought that wasn’t my calling.”
“Why do you believe it’s your calling?”
His grin was quick. “I have a way of catching the bad guy, baby. Hunting bad guys is so deep in my blood that I can sense when I’m closing in on the perp.”
“Really? That’s interesting,” I stated. “How many cases do you have open?”
“New cases? Plenty. I’ve only been back in Pensacola for a short while. Things have been crazier, and I expect the heat of the summer to ramp things back up. However, so far, I’ve been lucky enough to close most of my cases.”
“Hm. Is there one case that haunts you the most?” I questioned.
Von’s grin faded slightly, and he sighed. “Yeah,” he answered. “It’s a case I worked back in Atlanta. A serial killer.” He shook his head and chuckled. “I was this close to catchin’ that nigga.”
“What happened that you didn’t catch him?”
“He went dark. The murders just…stopped. And he disappeared.”
“Oh. How do you know it’s the same guy?”
“Besides the fact that he’s methodical and clean as fuck in his kills, a gut feeling.”
“A gut feeling? You really trust your gut to lead you the right way?” I asked to which he nodded.
“I told you; it’s in my blood, baby.”
Smiling, I said, “Oh, okay. So… What can you tell me about the case?”
“All I can say is that the victims are better off wherever the hell the suspect sent them to.”
“Ah… A vigilante?” I surmised.
He grimaced. “If you want to call him that.”
“What would you call him?”
“A fuckin’ menace,” he grumbled.
Chuckling, I replied, “A menace who’s doing the good work.”
Von side-eyed me. “You sound like my old partner, Lewis. He thinks the same way.”
I shrugged and said, “Sometimes a cell is too lenient.”
“So, what do you think the vigilante…suspect deserves?”
Again, I shrugged. “I think the one thing you’re forgetting is that he became a vigilante for a reason.
I’m quite sure he doesn’t give a fuck what happens to him.
He doesn’t care about anything. Even if he has a family, he’s surely already resigned within himself that he’s a lost cause.
He’s just trying to be as productive as possible while he has the time. ”
Silence filled Von’s truck. Then he mumbled, “Damn. I would ask if you’re an FBI profiler, but I already know how you feel about the laws. Speaking of… I want to talk to you about something.” His hand reached over to hold mine as he used his other hand to steer.
“What is it?”
“I got offered a supervisory role with the department. Lieutenant,” he said. As he brought my hand to his lips, I eyed him. He kissed my knuckles, and despite what he just divulged, my body still tingled all over.
I was still trying to process my feelings for Von and tell myself that what I was doing with him was okay. If lower-level officers were capable of horrible things, then those that sat in higher positions were surely worse.
“Are you going to take the job?” I questioned.
He briefly glanced at me. “Honestly, I want the job. Then again, I’m measuring my moves because I have this woman that I refuse to let go of.”
Von considering me in his life decisions shouldn’t have caused me to blush so hard.
“I want to know what ya father could’ve done to make you hate the badge so much. I want to know so that I can fix it and show you that we’re not all cut from the same cloth.”
Revealing my past to Von wasn’t on my to-do list. Talking about what happened to my mother wasn’t something I ever wanted to confront. I was turning over a new leaf and going back there would trigger the hell out of me.
“Tell me about ya mom,” Von stated, dousing gasoline on my already smoldering thoughts.
Sliding my hand from his, I said, “I really don’t want to talk about her.”
“Aight.” Disappointment laced his reply.
“Listen, Von...”
“Nah, it’s cool,” he said. “I told myself I wasn’t gon’ push and here I am pushing you.”
Silence fell between us, and I really wished that I could trust Von with myself.
“If you want the job, you should take it, Von. My stance on your badge shouldn’t deter you from chasing your dreams.”
He glanced at me again. “Is it crazy that if my dreams don’t include you, I don’t want ‘em?”
I bit my bottom lip to keep from replying.
This man was applying the type of pressure that any woman would find sexy as hell.
I wasn’t any woman, though. I was a woman with a calm presence holstering a chaotic soul.
What was worse; I was a woman so deeply scorned that it was only a matter of time before that part of me ruined everything in my path.
Several hours later, I stood in the hotel room’s bathroom, staring at myself in the mirror.
I was showered, moisturized, and dressed for the party.
As I brushed my hair into place, something in my eyes caused me to pause.
My mind played tricks on me, toying me with a flicker of life there.
Shifting my gaze away from myself, I donned my black fedora and concealed the very things that were a daily reminder of how fucked-up my life was.
Von joined me in the bathroom, sidling up behind me. He had something shiny dangling from his fingers. As he stood behind me, he brought the diamond choker to place around my neck along with a soft kiss to my nape.
“You like it?” he asked.
My fingers played over the intricate details of the choker. “I love it,” I said. Pleased, he bent to kiss my lips.
Shortly thereafter, we arrived at the venue hosting Mr. Gunner’s retirement party, and all I could think was I wished that I could have walked into the place with my head held high and my fedora, absent.
For once, I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it.
For once, I wanted to feel as beautiful and confident as Von made me feel.
However, just minutes later, Von introduced me to Lewis, and I was thankful for the fedora. Lewis’s energy was just as strong as Von’s energy.
“Damn,” Lewis swore. “You got a sister?”
Von mugged Lewis while I laughed. “I do have a sister.”
“Hook me up,” Lewis requested.
“Sorry, but my sister isn’t the type to let me do anything like that.” I smiled, then added, “On the other hand, I do have a cousin who’s as pretty as a rainbow painted sky, and as sweet as a sugar cookie.”
“Ooh, shit!” Lewis exclaimed. “Let me get her number.”
With as much confidence as a matchmaker, I rattled off Shyah’s number. It was time for my lover girl cousin to break out of that intensely shy shell she had around herself. If Lewis was anything like Von, it would take him no time to win Shyah’s heart.
“Her name is Shyah, and if you play with her, you gotta see me.” I smiled, demurely. “And trust me, you don’t wanna see May.”
Lewis grinned, and so did Von, as if anything I said was funny.
Days later, I laid in bed, recalling every moment I spent with Von and his family while in Atlanta.
Again, it was all laughter, family, and love.
Again, Von and I shared a bed. Like before, he was a complete gentleman.
From his firm yet gentle embraces, the feeling of his body covering mine as he slept, and the pressure of his lips against mine, Von’s snare was closing in on me.
The only thing dashing away visions of sunshine and rainbows was the fact that he was likely going to be promoted.
Although he wanted me to support his dreams, I could tell that he prayed that I accepted all of him.
Ultimately, I was certain he would take the job.
His enthusiasm about becoming a lieutenant was infectious.
Plus, the pride on his father and mother’s faces was too much for him to turn down the position.
I would have been selfish to ask him to give up what he wanted, especially since I hadn’t even given him a true yes.
Deep down, I wanted to give him a yes. Von deserved better than my brokenness. However, I was too selfish to tell him to walk away from me.