Chapter 13 Sean
Sean
When Sean got home from an after-work run, the sexual tension coiled up within him was as pressured as the seams of the bruised storm clouds above. Fuck. He wanted his wife. And that was normal. What wasn’t normal was to live in the same house as that wife but not be able to have her.
She had to feel the same way. There was no way that she didn’t. The kiss at the cooperage had spoken loud and clear about how good the sex between them would be, if they were ever to have sex.
Which they would not be doing. Because Cherry thought she was depriving him of something. Thought she was responsible for his life. For how it turned out. It was sweet but also unnecessary. He was an adult, capable of making his own decisions about his future.
But it didn’t feel like the future was in his hands.
Cherry held all the cards, and Sean wasn’t sure how to play the game.
Where did you start with someone who’d been through that much trauma?
And what would his arguments be to convince her otherwise?
He’d tried presenting his own family dynamic to show he didn’t have fixed ideas about family, but it hadn’t hit home.
Thunder rumbled in the distance.
Cherry was sitting at the dining table, laptop open, deep in concentration, phone, sunglasses and an empty water glass by her side.
‘You playing poker?’ Sean laid two bags of groceries on the counter.
‘Mm-hmm, won’t be long.’
While she was engaged in her game, he took the chance to watch her. She was absent-mindedly eating a flaccid burger – some frozen crap she’d bought from the local shop. He went over to the table and lifted it off her plate.
‘What’s this? Eating before dinner?’
‘It is dinner. I got a packet, so you can have some too.’ Cherry spoke mindlessly, her attention on the game. It was fair enough; she was working.
But Sean took a bite of the burger. ‘No, it isn’t dinner.’ It was just as well he’d gone to the shop after his run, if this was her offering.
‘It is. That’s mine, and you’re eating it.’ She grasped for the burger whilst looking at her computer screen.
Sean held it out of reach. ‘Nope, Cherry. Your dinner is in those bags over there, and I’m cooking it, right after I’ve had a shower. Keep winning, and I’ll bring you a drink.’
That got her attention. She glanced up at him, not fighting his decision to chuck her so-called food in the bin, but surprised. At what? That he cared enough to do this?
‘What? I know we’re both busy, but we don’t have to avoid each other. We can have the occasional meal together, like adults. Right? Pasta together the other day was nice.’
She narrowed her gaze.
‘It was.’ Sean began emptying the shopping bags. ‘You make a good pasta and tomato sauce.’
Cherry’s expression warmed as she dropped her eyes back to the screen. ‘Liar... But sure, Seany, a meal together would be nice.’
‘Good.’ He placed a glass of Diet Irn-Bru in front of her, bubbles fizzing at the edges of the glass. Thunder rumbled again, and he looked out the patio doors in time to see a streak of white lightning spotlight his jungle of a garden.
Upstairs, in the shower, Sean relieved himself of the sexual tension Cherry had ramped up in him.
He couldn’t fuck his wife, but there were no rules about taking himself into oblivion whilst thinking about her naked and wet, the sweet aroma of honeysuckle entwining around him like her legs.
And in Sean’s imagination, there were definitely no rules about what would happen under those circumstances.
No rules about how loudly she would moan as he took her, about how many times she would come under him, on top of him, around him.
The hammering rush of the water on the shower floor drowned out his frustration, and as the rain clouds split open, he came hard and urgently over his hand, against the tiles, into the Cherry of his imagination.
The problem was that self-pleasuring in the shower was fine as a short-term measure, but it was like building a temporary fence after a storm when another was bearing down.
As soon as Sean went downstairs and saw her setting the table in her skinny jeans and tight little vest, the tension coiled up again.
Living with this fiercely beautiful creature was both incredible and frustrating in equal measure.
For a short while, they ate in silence, Sean stealing glances at Cherry far too frequently, only to find those swan-lashed eyes gaping right back.
After around the seventh time of this happening, he chanced a wink, and her face broke into a smile – radiant, feminine warmth that rendered him near senseless.
Sort this out, Butler.
‘Listen,’ Sean grabbed onto his water glass like it was a life preserver. ‘Thanks for the sandwich today; it was delicious. But please, don’t do that again.’
‘Don’t do what again?’ Cherry was all innocence. ‘Make you a sandwich?’
‘You can make me a sandwich, but don’t come with that sandwich to my work, dressed like Betty Boop and then kiss me like you want to fuck me into next week. It’s too much.’
‘Oh, okay.’ Now she dropped the na?ve act. ‘You were there too, Seany, kissing me back like you also wanted to fuck into next week, and possibly the one after that. It takes two…’
‘Aye, I was. It does. I’m not laying down the law.
I know I said we need to act like we’re madly in love, but you are sex on two legs, and kisses like that make it messy.
Very fucking messy. And the problem is that I want a different messy with you.
I want tangled and sweaty and sticky and fucking hopelessly messy nights and days with my firecracker of a wife.
So, seeing as we have an arrangement that behind closed doors this is a marriage on paper only, I think it’s best if we keep things a bit more… um––’
‘Boring?’
Sean sighed. This woman. ‘Fuck’s sake. You’re the one who wanted out. Now you’re saying it’s boring if we don’t practically fuck in public, meanwhile not fucking in private. That’s – for want of a more varied vocabulary – fucked up, Cherry.’
‘Sorry, but I am doing this “madly in love in public” thing to save your pride.’
‘Aye, fine.’ On this, she had a point. Today had perfectly presented their marriage to his workmates as happy and, quite frankly, horny. ‘I was going to say, let’s keep things a bit more sedate. Surely, we can look at each other…I dunno…fondly, without the over-the-top fondling, right?’
‘Yes. I can do that. Sorry. I got carried away today.’
‘We both did.’
‘No more bringing my milkshake to the yard.’
‘Cherry!’
‘Sorry.’
‘You have to stop.’
‘Would it help if I moved out?’
‘Would it…? No, it wouldn’t. Because that wouldn’t make sense. Stay here. We’re both adults.’
‘Alright, but it really does take two, so you need to keep your t-shirt on. I don’t need any more x-rated stimulus material to help me act nuts about you in public. Keep that body hidden, for the love of God.’
Sean grinned. It was nice to know she also found him hard to resist and might be struggling like he was. He’d give her a chance to admit it.
‘Aye, alright, that’s fair enough. You know, we could give in to temptation and if you really don’t want to stay married to me, we can get a divorce. You’d enjoy yourself.’
‘Oh, the confidence. But I know you’re right, and that’s where the problems would start. I don’t think I could walk away after sex with you, Sean. And you being the ride of the century isn’t a good enough reason to fuck up your future.’
Ride of the century. God, she made him laugh. ‘Jesus, okay.’ He rapped his fingers on the table and decided to play along with her nonsense ‘What if I’m not the ride of the century? What if I’m mediocre at best?’
This appeared to be no deterrent to Cherry.
‘Sean, even if you had a micro penis and the style of an otter trying to escape a sack, I know I’d love being in bed with you. We’ll both need to exercise restraint, for the sake of the bigger picture.’
Sean was too stunned to even laugh properly, despite a strong urge.
‘Fine, you win,’ he said and pincered a baby potato with his fork.
‘By the way, there’s a nice wee boutique on the High Street called Nan Gracie.
You could think about getting yourself some below-the-knee floral dresses from there.
And some comfy shoes. I’ll give you an allowance to cover a new wardrobe. ’
‘Shut the front door, Butler!’
‘Ha! Thought you’d be keen.’
‘Yeah. You’re funny.’ But the warmth in her smile suggested she meant it.
The feeling was mutual. For all the back-and-forth with Cherry and the tension she was creating, having her around brought a dimension to Sean’s life that was sorely lacking – the company of a vibrant and funny woman.
His two sisters were as close as he got and a) they lived in Edinburgh, and b) they were his sisters.
‘How’s the planning for the charity tourney coming along?’ He decided a change to a neutral subject was a good idea.
And it seemed to soften the tension in her frame. ‘Really good. I’ve ordered a bunch of stuff to turn the distillery into a casino. Tablecloths, lamps, etcetera. And I’ve found some locals to be dealers.’
‘That’s brilliant, Cher. Thanks so much.
’ Sean loved how she was putting her heart into this project, like it meant as much to her as it did to him.
‘If you’re not working Friday, then the lads at work want to have a poker night with you as the star guest. I think they’re hoping you’ll coach them for the pro-am.
’ He wouldn’t mind a little coaching himself and, he wouldn’t lie, he wanted front row seats for his wife’s thrashing of his gallus workmates.
‘Oh, are they now?’ Cherry’s voice was laced with mischievous intrigue. ‘I don’t give away my secrets, you know. But sure, I’ll play them. You’re going to be there, right?’
‘Aye, I’ll be there.’ As if they were getting anywhere near his wife in a darkened space without his being present. ‘Cheers. They’re living in some la-la land, thinking they’ll learn from you and beat you.’
‘You never know what will happen. But I’m not bringing down my game for your wee pals, so they’ll need to up theirs.’
‘I wouldn’t expect you to. Can’t wait to play with you.’
Her eyes rounded.
‘You know what I mean, you wee minx. Behave yourself.’
‘Could say the same about you.’
Jesus, were the next two months going to be like this?
Neither of them seemed able to help themselves, and feeling like he might sexually combust was becoming a very frustrating part of Sean’s daily existence.
‘Oh, before I forget,’ he said, it not being likely this would slip his mind, ‘my mum wants us to come for dinner at the house. There’s no getting out of it, I’m afraid. ’
Cherry swallowed so hard he wondered if she’d let a baby potato go down the wrong way. But he knew how she felt. He wasn’t especially excited about this dinner either.
‘Don’t worry. It’s only the three of us, and she won’t ask you any awkward questions. Remember, she’s just about holding things together. It’s a good distraction for her from thinking too much about Dad.’
Time dripped by. Sean swore he could hear every single raindrop that hit the patio outside. Every rumble of thunder on the peninsula. Maybe he should have told his mum the truth. Or made up a story about Cherry being too busy playing poker to come to dinner.
‘I understand.’ Cherry put down her cutlery. ‘I’d love to meet her. I’ll get something nice to take along.’
And of course, his immense relief had to manifest itself as a stupid joke. ‘What, like five hundred condoms?’
‘I was thinking more a bottle of wine or some flowers.’
‘Definitely a better idea. Thanks, Cher.’ Thanks so much.