Chapter 20 Sean
Sean
Back at Sean’s house, he pulled a beer from the fridge and held the bottle out to Cherry.
She took it, grateful for the cool touch and the promise of more edges softening. ‘Thanks.’
‘Have a drink with me, yeah?’
‘Okay.’
Sean sat on the couch, and she plonked down next to him.
‘So,’ she said, ‘Tennessee, huh?’
‘Aye.’
‘What’s all that about, Butler?’
‘What that’s all about is, I needed to get out of Kinshore. Wanted a change.’
‘I thought you loved it here.’
‘I do love it here. It’s very much home. But I’m also kind of bored cooped up – no pun intended. I needed a new challenge, and the opportunity to do a year’s exchange at a cooperage in Tennessee came up. So I went for it.’
‘And it’s still on the table?’
‘Aye. As long as I pass the visa interview, I go next year, and an American lad comes here.’
‘Well, you should definitely go.’
He searched for something in her eyes – that her encouragement was fake, perhaps?
‘Nothing holding you here, is there?’ she added.
God, Cherry, what is wrong with you?
‘Nope, I suppose not.’ Sean slugged back a large mouthful of beer. ‘Certainly not a woman.’
You deserved that.
Between them, his words hung like a wrecking ball.
‘That was one reason I decided to leave,’ he said. ‘I was pretty fucking lonely here. I can keep myself going like the Duracell bunny, but I want someone to come home to at night, to sleep next to. To love. You know?’
Oh God. His honesty cracked her open, pulled her heart out from her chest and screamed at it: What the hell are you doing?
‘I get it.’ She did. That was what she needed, too.
And where would she get it from, if not Sean?
If she walked away from the love of her life to protect him, the odds were high that she’d end up alone.
No one else compared to him, and the reasons for leaving him would still stand with any other man.
‘Because I’ve a lot of fucking love to give to the right woman,’ he added. ‘To give to my wife, actually.’
Cherry’s lips quivered. She knew he had that love. Of course she did. Sean’s ability to love oozed out of him; it was one of the things that had drawn her to him. If only she could find some way of them moving forward together, but she couldn’t see what that was.
‘I know you do.’ She swigged her own beer, scratched at the wet label, tearing a strip through it with the rounded edge of her nail.
‘And if you can’t come with me then Tennessee is a tentative.
’ Sean layered on more acute, endearing honesty.
‘In case that isn’t obvious. Because you make living here entirely different.
We might not hang out all the time, but I really, really like having you around, and even if I went, I’m sure we could find a way to make it work. Anything is possible.’
Cherry tried to blink back a stinging, salty tear. Fruitless, because where there was one, there were hundreds more. ‘Oh, Sean…’
‘Hey…’ He reached out and wiped the salty drop with his thumb – the best and worst thing he could do.
The temptation to seize that hand as it withdrew, pull it back to her cheek, let him dissolve his mouth into hers and give her one of those ruin-you-for-anyone-else kisses was tugging at her like an anchor in a sea storm. She turned away, brushed her hands down the crimson broderie of her dress.
Sean seemed to sense her discomfort. He relaxed back into the couch as if he knew it would put her at ease. Drank his beer quietly before speaking again. ‘You know, I think you have a hidden talent you’re not telling me about.’
This got Cherry’s attention. She swung round to him. ‘What talent?’
‘This “colour my thingy” thing that your mum does, and my mum is all intrigued by. You must be able to do it too, because everything I see you in, you look incredible. The fit, the style, the colour.’
‘Oh, thank you. I might have picked up a few tricks from my mum. I used to sit in on her parties.’
‘Amazing. You could host an evening of it here. Cheer my mum up.’
‘Och, I’m not sure I’d be much good.’
‘Don’t be humble. I bet you would.’
‘I dunno. I might send everyone home with the wrong colour palette and all the villagers would hate me.’
‘You might inadvertently improve some of the dress sense. And I’m sure they’d all have fun. Tell you what, give me a mini consultation right now and I’ll be the judge of your skills.’
Some of Cherry’s vibrancy returned at this idea. ‘Seriously? You are going to judge me on this?’
‘Deadly serious.’
How did he do it? He had this way of bringing her round and making her heart happy again. ‘You’re on, Butler. Go grab some of your favourite t-shirts, and I’ll sort you out.’
‘Far be it from me to argue with a woman who wants to sort me out.’ Sean jumped up from the couch and took the stairs two at a time, returning less than sixty seconds later carrying a bundle of t-shirts in various muted shades.
‘These are your favourites?’ Cherry arched a brow at the garments he’d handed her. Everything was blue, white or khaki.
‘Something wrong with them?’
‘Nope, they’re just very same-y.’
‘Even more of a reason to have a consultation.’
‘True. Okay, we need to decide which of each colour is right for you. Let’s start with blue.’ She draped the t-shirts over the arm of the couch. ‘You’ve got three blue t-shirts here, all in slightly different shades. I’m going to need you to try them on for me, and we’ll see.’
‘We’ll see what?’
‘Which one suits you best…obviously.’
‘Oh, obviously. Forgive me for thinking you wanted me out of my clothes so you could ogle me. Right, come on then. Tell me what to do.’
‘Take this off.’ Cherry gestured to his current button-down shirt. ‘You can go to the other room if you need to protect your modesty.’
Showing no sign of moving to the other room, Sean began to unbutton his shirt. ‘Do people normally take their clothes off in these things?’
‘No.’
‘Just me then.’ His fingers moved rapidly through the buttons. ‘Why do I feel I’m being taken advantage of here?’
‘Because that’s what you want.’
‘Wow!’ He beamed. ‘Victim blaming.’
‘Sean?’
‘Aye?’
‘Shut it and take your shirt off.’
Without another word, the shirt was off.
‘And…um, now choose a t-shirt to put on.’ Cherry did her best to haul her eyes away from the beautiful specimen taunting her. From the body she dreamed every night of touching.
‘You alright, Paradise? Your voice went all wobbly there.’
Lucky you don’t have access to my heart rate. ‘I’m fine. I’ll look away now and give you some privacy.’
‘Why? You just saw everything. Again.’
‘Okay, fine.’ She fanned her face. ‘Is it hot in here or…?’
‘No, it’s called chemistry. Anyway…’ Sean swung the shirt he’d removed round his hand. ‘How do I find out which shade of blue suits me best?’
He was such a flirt whilst pretending not to be. She took the shirt from him and cast it onto the couch.
‘You put on your first blue t-shirt.’ Cherry selected one off the chair and handed in to him, electricity zipping through her as their hands brushed. ‘This one is a basic navy.’
In a few stolen moments while he pulled the t-shirt over his face, she allowed her feral side to run rampant at the sight of his many tattoos, his underarm hair, of the way the upward stretch of his arms pulled his abs taut, the sculpted V that led down to his waistband where...
Eyes. Eyes. Eyes on his face, Cherry.
‘Okay! Let’s see.’ She stepped towards him, even though a step back would afford her a better view.
Sean said nothing. Simply met her gaze. Stood still for once, letting her do her job. But his gaze never left hers, watching her watching him.
Energy thundered between them.
Up close, she drank him in. His skin was flawless. There were a few freckles around his nose and expected lines from a life spent outdoors and laughing a lot, but nothing could diminish the brightness of those eyes. And the generosity of the mouth. A mouth that kissed like it meant it.
Cherry flicked her tongue onto her cupid’s bow.
Sean dipped to this movement, then back up as if to challenge her. ‘What do you think?’
She slunk her tongue behind her top teeth. Nodded slowly. ‘It suits you. Brightens your skin and makes your eyes more green. But I need to see the others.’
The air between them was heavier now, weighing down their desire to speak. Words cost energy. In silence, Sean pulled the t-shirt off. Cherry looked down to the floor, but the size of his feet reminded her of the size of other parts of him.
As Sean leaned down for the next t-shirt, her eyes darted to his neck, the hair shaved close, skin tanned.
She remembered how strong and warm it had felt to the touch when she’d kissed him, when they’d danced in the ballroom at the wedding, when she’d gripped onto him in the elevator and in the cooperage.
It could be hers again if she said the word. He could be hers.
To have and to hold.
The next shirt was a deep petrol blue.
She went to him and brushed the fabric of the garment over his hips as if to flatten it. Sean stiffened.
‘Relax, Seany.’
The sound he made could only be described as a dismissive grunt. A dismissal at being told to relax in circumstances that promoted anything but relaxation.
Back to his face. To the strong jaw, the complexion. Looking at him now, it was like going back to New York, staring into each other’s eyes for three minutes. Waiting to fall in love.
Some people waited a lifetime.
Not her and Sean.
Cherry lifted her left arm around the back of her head, twisting her hair up into a makeshift bird’s nest. She stood examining him, lips slightly parted in contemplation.
A small smile crept over his face.
‘What?’ Her question came out as a whisper.
‘That’s a sexy look. You’re sending pheromones my way. Why are you shaking your head?’
‘Because the colour isn’t quite right. This one is more of a “summer” blue, and I’m not getting summer vibes from you.’
‘What vibes are you getting?’
‘Not sure yet, but I’m thinking “spring”. Shall we try one more?’