Chapter 13 #2
‘So, midnight.’ Dominic’s lips are quirking up into a half-smile.
‘Twelve o’clock,’ I say foolishly.
‘Yup.’
All around us, couples are coming together in pairs, and non-couples are getting together in excited groups, jumping up and down together. And presumably some other non-couples are getting together in twos and about to do things they might or might not regret…
Going by the way Dominic is now staring intently into my eyes and I am staring right back, and the way we’re edging closer and closer together, I think we might be about to do certain things too…
As we count down to zero, Dominic leans down towards me and I raise myself onto my tiptoes, and I can barely breathe from all the anticipation fizzing inside me.
There’s a loud bonging from someone banging some kind of drum, and lots of cheering as we hit midnight.
Dominic kisses me on the lips, and I kiss him right back.
It isn’t a brush of the lips, and it isn’t a madly passionate kiss.
It’s kind of more than both those types of kiss.
It’s a kiss between two people who know each other, and properly like each other.
It’s… it’s the kind of kiss that a couple might share.
It’s the kind of kiss you sink into with someone you’re excited by but also very comfortable with.
Dominic reaches one arm around my waist and the other around my shoulders and holds me against him, and I lift my arms and wind them round his neck, and then we stay like that, on that beautiful beach, swaying together to the music, surrounded by a swirling melee of people, jostled a little, pushed a little, holding each other tight as though we’re each other’s rock in a choppy sea.
We don’t do anything except kiss. There’s no wandering of hands, no will-he-won’t-he, how-far-will-he-reach-how-far-will-I-reach, no nothing, we just continue the most deliciously long, deep kiss. It’s soft, it’s gentle, it’s also demanding, exploratory… It feels as though it’s… everything.
Which means that I’m bereft when we get jostled so hard by some other revellers that we have to break apart. And also breathless. And… not sure what’s happening.
I should not just have had what felt like the most everything kiss of my life with Dominic Rock when Jed texted me earlier to say he wants to get back together.
I don’t know what to do.
And then Dominic smiles down at me, his face looking uncharacteristically tender, and I smile back at him, because I can’t help it.
And then I decide that I’d be crazy to start with the overthinking at this point, rather than just enjoying tonight, and – even if from my perspective that kiss somehow meant more than the actual sex we had earlier – with regard to Jed it won’t make any difference at all, and I am entirely single right now, and I just want to enjoy myself.
And enjoying myself tonight very obviously involves Dominic.
I feel like I should say something, but I can’t think too well right now, so I go with: ‘The sea looks amazing rippling in the moonlight. Kind of eerie.’
‘Yeah,’ Dominic agrees. ‘Nice colours.’
‘Mmm.’ It turns out that neither of us really wants to discuss the moon or the sea right now.
Dominic releases my waist and takes my hand and leads me away from the group, towards the water’s edge.
When we reach the water, we stand together – still holding hands – and watch its beautiful, shimmery sparkliness.
‘The ocean’s so vast,’ I say. ‘Like the bush. It kind of makes you feel small.’
‘Small but still important,’ Dominic says. ‘Every single person is so important. And every single animal.’
I squeeze his hand. I like that he just said that; it’s quite un-Dominic like, and very lovely. Not that Dominic isn’t lovely. But I don’t think he overthinks like I do sometimes. Maybe he does about plans, but I don’t think he does about people and emotions.
‘Are you a resolutions kind of person?’ I suddenly ask, pretty sure that the answer will be no. I think he makes a sensible plan, and then gets on and does it, and will have no need for the first of January to kick-start him, because he’s permanently kick-started.
‘Nope. You?’
‘I actually am.’
‘So have you made any this year?’ He sounds as though he’s smiling.
‘Of course.’ I’ve made a lot this year, some big, some small. It feels like a good time for a restart, following my marriage break-up. And right now I’m not going to consider what might or might not happen with Jed after I reply to him tomorrow, or even what I’m going to say to him.
‘Do you usually stick to your resolutions?’ He sounds genuinely interested.
‘Some I do, some I don’t. I always without fail – although maybe not this year – have one about going running, and I always – although again I don’t think I will this year – go for a run on New Year’s Day, and then again on the fourth of January and the seventh and then maybe the tenth and then that’s it. But there are others that I keep.’
‘I’m wondering whether maybe running is just not your thing,’ he says very gravely.
I laugh. ‘Yeah, I think you could say that. Massive discipline isn’t totally my thing, either. Unlike you. That’s why you don’t need resolutions. Your life is perfect already.’
‘Ha,’ he says, and then after a pause: ‘You do know my life is not perfect?’
‘I mean… you’re an early riser, you go for an effortless run every morning, you… I mean, everything. You’re just so disciplined. Tidy. Very sensible.’
‘I mean… yes to all of that, I suppose. But does any of that make someone happy?’
I look up at him. ‘Yes? I hope?’ Crap. I hope he is happy.
‘You know,’ he says musingly, ‘I feel like I’ve learnt a thing or two from you after the past few days.’
‘You have? Seriously?’ I can’t think of a single thing I could have taught him.
‘Yeah. Like… seize the day. You don’t have to plan everything in advance. Neatness and tidiness and forward planning are not the be-all and end-all. You’re pretty amazing, and – at times – not in a bad way at all, occasionally a little bit chaotic. In a good way.’
‘Erm?’
‘It’s a compliment,’ he assures me. ‘Really. A big compliment. As in, being around you, I’ve been questioning the way I am. Like… maybe I could, I don’t know, almost live a little more.’
‘Wow.’
‘And by the way,’ he continues, ‘I can’t think of any resolutions you could possibly need to make.
I mean, I’m not saying you shouldn’t, obviously, and I’m sure they do help, and we could probably all tweak our exercise, diet or sleep for the better, but equally I do think you’re amazing and I wouldn’t change anything about you. ’
‘Wow,’ I repeat. ‘Thank you. That’s lovely.’ I turn to face him. ‘I wouldn’t change anything about you either.’
‘Well, you see, I would change stuff about myself. I do think I should seize the day more.’
‘Do you really?’ I ask. ‘Because I’ve had a little idea.’ I feel like the conversation’s got a little too serious. I need fun this evening. And Dominic has just effectively said that he would like to do more fun stuff.
‘Have you?’ Dominic asks cautiously, suddenly looking like no, he definitely doesn’t want to be seizing any days.
‘I’ve never ever skinny-dipped in my life,’ I tell him.
‘Right.’
‘And I’m thinking that if you’re going to skinny-dip, here must be a great place for it.’
‘Right.’ Dominic looks very unenthusiastic.
‘And it’s New Year’s Eve. In Cape Town. On the beach. I’m feeling like it would be wrong not to do it.’
‘Right.’
‘Dominic Rock,’ I scold. ‘You sound like you’re going to object to a spontaneous, seize-the-day moment straight off, in the first minutes of the new year.’
‘But we don’t have swimming costumes and we’d get wet.’
‘Yes,’ I confirm. ‘The literal definition of skinny-dip.’
‘Erm.’
I look at him, and raise my eyebrows sternly.
And suddenly he laughs, and says, ‘Let’s do it.’