Chapter 15
FLAVIA
Standing in the checkout queue with Dominic feels weird and very sad.
I don’t want this trip to come to an end.
It’s been wonderful. An amazing holiday, and an even more amazing holiday fling with Dominic.
Also, though, and this is kind of messing with my mind, I can see that I have another message from Jed:
I love you.
I haven’t yet replied to the one he sent me yesterday. I have too much to think about before I reply, and I didn’t want to ruin the end of the holiday by sitting down and worrying about my ex-husband. Also, I have of course been busy.
I’m still busy now. We have a few hours left in Cape Town before we head off to the airport.
I don’t want to waste the last part of this amazing trip; I’ll deal with real life tomorrow, and continue to ignore Jed’s messages today.
I mean, if he were in the middle of having the best no-strings sex of his life, he wouldn’t be texting me right now.
He’s probably just between girlfriends and feeling sentimental because it’s New Year.
Dominic and I are at the front of the checkout queue now.
Jonas is on reception. We both hand him our room cards and go through the usual questions.
When we confirm that we didn’t take anything from the minibar, Jonas says, ‘Guess you were too busy sightseeing and only used the room for sleeping.’
I can’t help looking sideways at Dominic and see that he is doing the exact same to me.
‘Very true,’ I reply. I’m speaking far too loudly and over-emphatically. It’s with difficulty that I stop myself from telling Jonas that we really did only sleep in the room and certainly didn’t use the bed for anything else.
I really don’t know why I’m behaving as though I have a guilty conscience. I have nothing whatsoever to feel guilty about. Two single adults can have sex if they want to. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
It’s Jed’s message. It’s making me feel guilty.
I should not feel guilty, though. I’m single and I can have as much sex as I like with whomever I like.
‘So the hotel is going to store your luggage until we leave for the airport at 6 p.m.,’ Maxim tells us.
‘And until then you are extremely welcome to join me on a little tour round the city, or equally you might choose to explore by yourselves and be back here by five thirty, but in that case you’ll need to sign a waiver saying that if you miss the plane it’s on you. ’
I look at Dominic and he looks at me, and then we both say that Maxim’s trip sounds great (Dominic), fabulous (me), but that we’d love to explore by ourselves.
Maxim says no problem, and then Mike begins to bear down on us.
Dominic looks at Mike, grabs my hand and whisks me towards the revolving doors calling over his shoulder to Maxim, ‘We’ll email the signed waivers over to you in a minute.’
Once we’re through the doors, we speed-walk round the corner of the hotel, where I have to beg Dominic to stop for a moment so that I can catch my breath.
We sit on a bench and I look at him. I’ve begun to feel that I know the bones of him incredibly well, but that at the same time I have lots to find out about him, and that I want to find all that stuff out.
He’s looking back at me with a lopsided smile on his face.
I feel like there might be a lot we have to say to each other at some point.
Or maybe not. I mean, this has been no-strings sex.
That’s what we agreed. Maybe after an agreed no-strings thing you don’t talk.
I wouldn’t actually know. I haven’t done one before, apart from with Dominic, in fact, all those years ago.
Hmm. We did talk after that, at his instigation, although to be fair we didn’t agree in advance that that was no-strings.
Well, I don’t know whether we will talk or not but now is not the time. Maybe we will at the airport, or on the plane. Now, though, we should make the most of Cape Town.
‘What shall we do today?’ I ask. ‘We have half a day left in this beautiful city on the other side of the world from home. We should use it wisely.’
Dominic raises an eyebrow and smirks slightly, which makes me smirk too.
‘Are your thoughts going in a smutty direction?’ he asks.
‘Yes, they are,’ I admit. ‘But we should sightsee.’
Dominic does an exaggerated sigh. ‘I suppose you’re right.
Given the whole we’re-in-this-amazing-city-for-only-a-few-hours thing.
Okay, so what about we google what the top attractions in Cape Town are and find one that’s local and popular?
’ He checks his watch. I love his wrists and forearms. And hands.
He has very attractive hands. (Also very capable.)
‘Good idea.’ I just want to ogle all the parts of his body, not just his hands and arms. ‘Maybe something outside?’ We don’t really want to be stuck inside in a museum or similar on such a beautiful day when we’re returning tonight to the start of the British winter.
‘Good plan,’ he says, seeming distracted.
And then very suddenly we’re in each other’s arms kissing hard, like we did in the lift, almost desperately. Our bench is on the waterfront, and it’s busy, and people swirl round us while we carry on kissing, and we just ignore them.
I’m the first to draw back. ‘We have got to sightsee,’ I say firmly.
‘Or at least wander around. What about we go for a nice walk and enjoy the views? To that viewpoint Maxim mentioned that’s an hour and a half each way?
We have five hours, so there’ll be time for…
’ For some al fresco stuff that I have never ever before really wanted to do. ‘For stopping to enjoy the sights.’
‘That sounds like a very good plan.’ Dominic points leftish over his shoulder. ‘I think we need to go that way.’
As we turn and begin to walk, our hands find each other and we link fingers and walk very close together, with our sides brushing.
It’s very nice.
Dominic insists that we must actually walk in the direction of the point we’re aiming for. I’m so all-consumed by lust that I can’t even remember the name of the viewpoint.
I agree happily to go in that direction. Today, I’d go anywhere with him.
* * *
‘What if we keep on getting distracted by… the views… and miss the plane?’ I ask a bit later after we emerge very dishevelled from a cluster of trees that offered some handy screening from passers-by to get up to things that should definitely not be done in public.
‘On it.’ Dominic sets an alarm on his phone, and then puts his arm round me and hugs me against his side as we walk.
We do not make it to the point. I’m not even sure it is a point, actually. And I do not care.
Dominic’s alarm goes off while we’re gasping together against a tree trunk in another handy group of trees, having done a lot more al fresco stuff than I ever believed I would do.
‘We have to turn round and go back, and I think that’s a good thing,’ he says, still panting a little. ‘Otherwise you might actually kill me. I might be too old for all this… activity.’
‘Never too old.’ I run my hand over his chest and then kiss him, and then we get distracted again.
Eventually, we make ourselves fully decent and leave the shelter of the trees.
‘What if this happens again on the way back and we do actually miss the bus?’ I worry.
‘I’m going to set a series of alarms.’
We get distracted a lot on the way back, and make it to the hotel by the skin of our teeth, in time to see Maxim looking at his watch and pacing, but still there, thank goodness.
‘Sorry, sorry, sorry,’ I say breathlessly as we skid to a halt in the hotel foyer. ‘We got distracted by the amazing views.’
Maxim looks at me long and hard and then says, ‘Did you fall asleep?’
‘Erm?’ I ask.
‘You have leaves and twigs in your hair,’ he tells me.
‘I did sit down for a rest,’ I say with great dignity. ‘I was a little tired from last night’s wonderful festivities so I may have nodded off briefly and rested my head against a tree.’
Dominic rescues me from mean Maxim. ‘It was great on the beach last night. The whole trip’s been amazing in fact. Thank you so much, Maxim.’ He looks at his watch. ‘We should go, shouldn’t we? So sorry if we held you up.’
Once we’re seated on the minibus, he says in a low voice, just for me, ‘You’re having a terrible effect on me. I am never late. And here I am, late. And, worse: I did not mind at all. In fact, I positively relished it. Like you have literally turned me into a different person.’
I smile.
We sit with our thighs comfortably resting against each other’s for the journey. I fall into a deep sleep almost as soon as we set off, and wake only when we arrive at the airport, to find that I’ve been nestled in the crook of Dominic’s arm the whole time.
‘Thank you.’ I smile up at him. ‘You make a very good pillow.’
He returns my smile. ‘I’ll take that compliment.’
By unspoken agreement, we separate from the rest of the group once we’re through security and wander off together.
We do a little bit of shopping. (Well, I do; Dominic, in his words, does not see the need to buy stuff that might seem like a good idea now but will in fact turn out to be complete tat that he will never use again.) We eat some biltong.
We marvel at the Lego-creating skills of whoever built the enormous models in the Lego shop.
We’re just… together. Like very close friends. Or lovers.
Lovers.
Love.
My heart lurches as I stare blindly at an enormous Lego creation of Table Mountain.
I love him. I have fallen in love with him.
I think I did fall in actual love at first adult sight with him all those years ago. I think I just buried it for a few years. And now the love has resurfaced.
Fuck.