Chapter 3
Chapter three
Cowgirls
Maverick
This heat can fuck off any time now .
I wiped sweat from my brow with my free arm as I lugged Betty’s saddle into the tack room. It wasn’t even July quite yet and the Texas heat made me want to move somewhere north. Like Wyoming or Montana. Yeah, Montana sounded pretty damn nice right about now.
I huffed. Who the hell was I kidding? I’d never leave Texas. Better yet, I’d never leave Cash. He’d get in too much damn trouble without me. At least, that’s what I told myself.
My cousin might be the most obnoxious, cocky dickhead I’d ever met, but the bond we shared ran thicker than our blood. He’d saved me in a time I didn’t think I could be saved.
Speak of the devil…
Cash’s crow of laughter echoed through our barn as his and Ryder’s silhouettes strode down the center breezeway. I made my way to Black Betty, who I’d tied up in the center of the aisle, and began brushing her down. Flicking a glance over my shoulder, a little niggle of dread coiled in my chest.
Cash’s lips were pulled up into a wide grin. I knew that grin. Knew it well, and knew that I wasn’t going to like the reasoning behind it.
I sighed, though it did little to ease the knot forming in the pit of my stomach. “No,” I said with finality, turning back to Betty and focusing all of my attention on brushing out her sleek, black coat.
Cash scoffed. “You don’t even know what we were goin’ to ask.”
I didn’t look at either of them as I spoke. “I already know I ain’t gonna like it.”
Ryder’s low laughter pulled my attention. “That’s fair,” he said with a nod.
“Aw, come on, Mav!” Cash groaned, taking a step toward me.
Betty snorted and pinned her ears in warning.
The mare was possessive, and there was nothing she hated more than Cash.
He was too loud, too…over the top for her.
She’d always needed calm, quiet. It’s why we worked so well together.
I ran a hand over her neck, shushing her under my breath.
Some of her tension eased, even as she eyed Cash like a hawk.
“We were thinkin’ ‘bout goin’ up to San Antone for the night. Drinks and dancin’.”
I bit back a groan. None of that sounded fun—being in the city, around people. Hell, especially dancing. “Y’all just need a ride, don’t ya?”
I looked at Ryder for confirmation, but it was Cash who spoke. “What’re you talkin’ bout? Of course we want you to come. You and your shinin’ personality.”
I huffed, my lips pulling up into the ghost of a grin. “Who all’s goin?”
“Just us, Charlie, and Cheyenne. She invited us up there.”
Cheyenne.
Girl was a firecracker. About as pretty as she was wild. Like a mustang. That girl could probably give Cash a run for his money. Tonight, would be trouble, I could guarantee it.
It’d be good for you, a hopeful little part of my heart begged.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to spend time with them all. Sure, going out wasn’t my thing, but I liked being around my friends. It’s just…
“I can’t,” I said, refusing to meet Cash’s gaze.
His brows furrowed, a frown replacing his grin. “Why?”
“I got plans.” I shrugged, hoping he’d leave it be.
“Plans with who?” Cash’s voice turned cold, a true feat as hardly anything ever pissed him off enough to change his voice from carefree and cocky.
I swallowed hard and blew out a breath. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. Couldn’t bring myself to face his disappointment.
He answered before I could bring myself to respond. “You’re fuckin’ kiddin’, Mav.”
My brush stilled against Betty’s side, and I pursed my lips.
Even Ryder joined in, though nowhere near as pissed. “I thought y’all were done?”
I braved a look at him. Disappointment and pity shone in his black eyes, but it didn’t get to me like it did with Cash. Maybe because there was hardly anything on this planet that truly disappointed my cousin. Knowing that I could with just the mention of Ashleigh damn near wrecked me.
“We’ve been talkin’. She wants to work things out.”
Cash shook his head, a string of muffled curses falling from his lips as he turned away and smacked a hand against one of the bars of the nearest stall. Betty snorted and pranced in place. Murmuring to her quietly, I ran a hand over her coat until she calmed.
Ashleigh and I had been on again off again for almost as long as I’d lived with the Mooneys. Since the summer of the crash twenty years ago.
Fuck…it’d been twenty years since the accident and yet still it haunted me.
Every day. Every night. The smell of the fire. The sound of metal crashing against metal. My sister’s screams. Damn—the screams. I don’t think they’d ever go away.
Cash’s wild glare snapped me from my thoughts, but when he spoke, his voice was cold, defeated…which was almost worse. “Come on, Mav. She’s usin’ you. Girl’s a goddamn spider and you're stuck in her web.”
“Watch it, Cash,” I growled, the sound a low rumble in my throat. He didn’t have to like her. Didn’t have to approve. But I’d not have him speak ill about her. Not around me.
Cash didn’t seem fazed in the least. Which was unsurprising. Not much fazed him.
Ryder placed a hand on Cash’s shoulder. “Hey, it is what it is. He’s got plans. We don’t gotta like ‘em.”
Cash shook off Ryder’s grasp, muttering under his breath as he stalked out of the barn without a backward glance.
Guilt gripped me…and shame. So much damn shame. I hated disappointing him.
Ryder sighed and waved him off, offering me a sympathetic smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “He’ll be alright.”
I blew out a breath and nodded. “I know.”
“You sure you want to hop back on that train, Mav?” He pulled his ball-cap off and speared a hand through his hair before replacing it atop his head. “She messed you up pretty good this past Christmas.”
I didn’t have the heart to look at him as I spoke. “I love her,” I breathed as I ran a hand down Betty’s neck once before reaching for the clasps holding her in place.
“I know, but—” Ryder’s voice held no anger, no annoyance, just a hint of desperation.
I hated that my choices made him and Cash feel this way. Hated that I disappointed them… But of the two, Ryder would understand. He damn near gave up his career for Charlie.
Maybe one day I’d get tired of chasing after Ashleigh. But until then…
“If she’s willin’ to make it work, I’m willin’ to try. I gotta.”
Ryder dipped his head and nodded, a weak, resigned smile on his lips. He clasped me on the shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “Alright. I can’t say I understand what you see in her, but it ain’t my life. You do what you gotta do. We’re gonna miss you tonight.”
I offered him a guilty smile in return. “Sorry I couldn’t be your designated driver.”
Ryder chuckled, his lips pulling into a genuine grin. “See you tomorrow.”
“Take care of your bonehead best friend, okay? I don’t wanna hear how much trouble Cash got into since I wasn’t there,” I called as he started down the breezeway.
He turned to me, walking backwards a few paces, his laughter echoing off the stalls. “I’ll do my best.”
With a sigh, I turned to Betty. She nuzzled my stomach, pushing me backwards with her aggressive demand to be loved on. “Hey, knock that shit off, pretty girl,” I muttered, but as she calmed, resting her head against me, I ran a hand over her forehead.
Was I making a mistake? Probably. Ryder was right…what she’d done at Christmas…It still felt like a dagger was lodged in my heart. Just the thought twisted it, causing more lingering pain.
I didn’t drink. Didn’t do drugs. But even I had a vice… and Ashleigh was mine.
Leading Betty into her stall and closing the door, I pulled out my phone. No calls or texts from her. We hadn’t settled on a time really. She’d said she’d be here sometime this afternoon.
Ain’t nothin’ wrong with just callin’ and checkin’ in.
It was a four-and-a-half-hour drive from Houston, maybe she’d want a distraction.
Finding her name in the call log, I pressed it and listened for the dial tone.
My pulse danced in anticipation, each ring sending my nerves skyrocketing. What if she didn’t answer? What if she forgot?
No. She wouldn’t.
Five rings. Each seemingly longer and louder than the last. Five rings that all but shattered my resolve, then…
“Hello?” Ashleigh’s light, airy voice sent a rush of relief through me.
“Hey. How’s it goin’?” I asked, pacing up and down the breezeway.
“Look…Mav—”
My heart sank right then and there. I already knew where this was going. Knew and couldn’t do anything to stop it. “You forgot?” I offered.
“No, I—I got called in last minute for a shift, and I—”
I bit back the disappointment. “Ashleigh, it’s okay,” I soothed, “you don’t gotta make excuses.”
The line crackled as she exhaled a breath. “I’m sorry, Mav. Really. I just…forgot. Time slipped away from me and it’s just too late to come now.”
I didn’t mention the fact I’d lost count of how many times I’d dropped what I was doin’ right then and there to drive to her whenever she called. It wouldn’t do any good anyway.
“No, it’s okay, I get it…” I hung my head, kicking at a clump of shavings that’d fallen in the breezeway. Little pieces scattered around, fluttering on the breeze, looking about as pathetic and helpless as I felt.
“Maybe let’s try for next week?” she asked, her voice still holding that airy note to it, but she sounded rushed… As if she were trying to get me off the phone.
I found myself replying yes. I didn’t say that the reason I’d specifically asked for tonight was because I didn’t want to be alone. Didn’t want to have to relive the memories of this day from all those years ago.
She knew what today was. At least, she should.
The anniversary of when my family died. The day I almost died. Phantom flames licked up my arms at the thought. I bit back a curse, rubbing my free hand over my left arm, feeling the scars hidden beneath my long sleeves.
She didn’t say anything now, though. Maybe she didn’t remember. Twenty years was a long time ago, after all. But it still felt raw, fresh in my mind.