Chapter 56
Chapter fifty-six
Scared to Live Without You
Cheyenne
Maverick’s touch was like fire, and I wanted nothing more than to be burned.
I’d expected… Well, honestly, I didn’t know. A part of me had thought he’d shrug me off, push me away, tell me to leave. But I preferred this much more.
I would have understood had he done any of those things. But that wasn’t the way Maverick worked. He was resilient, stubborn, and patient. So, so patient. He had a fierce understanding for hurt and broken things. Because he was broken himself.
I think that’s why we worked so well together.
We were both broken. Both suffering from childhood traumas that shaped us into who we were.
How we interacted with the world around us.
Individually, we were wrecks in our own right, but together…
well, together we had the patience and understanding to recognize and heal the cracks in one another.
I didn’t know what would happen with Nate. I hadn’t gotten anymore texts since about midday. Something told me he wasn’t done, though. But for now…for now I wouldn’t worry about that or bring it up to Maverick.
Not when the most amazing man I had ever had the pleasure of knowing kissed me breathless.
Tomorrow we could deal with it.
Thank God he’d come back when he did. A part of me was afraid he’d have been gone all night, and I’d have sat here waiting until he got back.
I’d almost left five times, to be honest—my worries and fears creeping into my chest and sowing seeds of doubt.
But for the first time in my life, I ignored them. I pushed them away and stayed.
It was hard as hell, but I did it. Because he was worth it. He would always be worth it.
I broke Maverick’s kiss, pulling away just enough to look up into his jade eyes as rain started to pour down from the sky. Fat droplets soaking me to the bone. “Come on, cowboy. Let’s get you cleaned up and out of this rain.”
He kissed me once more, releasing his hold on me, but making sure to keep my hand in his. Almost like he couldn’t bear the thought of letting me go, in case I ran away again. He didn’t have to worry about that, though. I wasn’t running.
He led me in silence into the house, through the bedroom, then finally stopped before the tub.
It was like last night, but with the roles reversed.
He turned the tub on, taking his time peeling off my clothes—pausing to pepper kisses along my neck, my jaw, my lips.
He even sang—well, hummed along to the Randy Travis song he told the house speaker system to play.
It both broke my heart while simultaneously mending all the shattered pieces.
As Maverick made love to me in the tub, as he toweled me off, led me to bed and started the entire seductive, torturous process all over again, I realized no one would ever compare to him. Not ever again.
He was perfect and kind and fierce and passionate. He was good and just and selfless. And I wanted the rest of forever with him.
The baby’s due date came and went uneventfully.
Five days had passed—leaving me feeling more and more anxious.
Not for the labor and birth so much, but for the after.
For being a mom. For having to take care of a newborn and all its wants and needs.
I could hardly take care of myself and now I was going to take care of a tiny version of me. What if I sucked?
I had no doubt Maverick would be amazing. He was amazing at everything. He would take on the role of being a father the same way he did with everything else—with dedication and ease and patience. So much fucking patience.
I brushed down the red filly in one of the cross-ties just outside the barn.
I still hadn’t named her. Bad warned me not to.
That once I did there was no getting rid of her.
Not going to lie, a part of me—a large part of me—wanted to keep her.
She’d come such a long way, was turning into such a good horse.
But number one, she wasn’t mine, and number two, even though I loved her, I wasn’t about to back out of the bet I’d finagled my way into all those months ago.
If the red filly sold, then it wasn’t meant to be.
That didn’t mean I couldn’t enjoy every minute I spent with her. “You’re a pretty girl, you know that?” I crooned, coming to stand before her and pet her forehead. She nudged my stomach in silent agreement, forcing a smile to my lips.
A flash of lightning streaked across the sky, followed closely by the crack of thunder. The filly startled and snorted a moment, but I shushed her, stroking her forehead gently and whispering soft words of assurance. “It’s alright, you’re okay.”
I glanced at the sky—an angry gray with black thunderheads looming like giants on the horizon. A storm was coming.
“Come on,” I said, grabbing her lead rope and taking her out of the cross-ties. “Let’s get you put away.”
It wasn’t much later that Maverick came stalking into the barn, Ryder hot on his heels. They both looked equally as pissed as worried.
“What’s wrong?” I frowned as I closed the door to the red filly’s stall.
“There’s a whole section of fence in the far pasture that broke, somehow,” Ryder huffed from his spot beside Maverick.
Maverick let out a frustrated sigh. “We lost a couple cows already. We gotta go fix it before the storm hits and we lose more.”
I nodded. “Alright. I’ll saddle up Country Rose and we can all go.”
He scoffed. “You ain’t goin’ nowhere.”
A scowl formed on my lips. “And why the hell not?”
He rocked back at that, a look of disbelief marring his handsome features. “You’re due any day now, Chey. I ain’t deliverin’ our baby in a goddamn pasture.”
I wanted to argue. I opened my mouth to argue, before blowing a deep breath and rolling my eyes. “Ugh, fine.” A huff escaped me.
A small, tight smile started to bloom on his lips, but worry still coated his brow.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. “It shouldn’t take too long, should it? Not if y’all go together.”
He chewed his lip. “We don’t want to leave y’all.”
Ah, there it was. The real problem. I understood the concern, but—
I moved closer to him, pressing a soft, reassuring hand to his chest. “Mav, I feel exactly the same as I did yesterday. And the day before then. And the day before then. I highly doubt the baby is coming. And Charlie isn’t due for another week.”
The look on their faces told me they weren't convinced.
I glanced at Ryder, then back at him. “Look, why don’t y’all take the ranch truck?
It’ll be quicker than ridin’, and y’all can carry everythin’ you need.
Fixin’ that pasture should take no longer than, what, three hours tops with both of y’all?
I ain’t gonna have a baby in that little time.
Charlie says that most first time moms are in labor for hours. Hours, Mav.”
His light eyes flickered with uncertainty.
“You’ll be there and back before I can even miss you. Ain’t no use losin’ the whole damn herd over this. Go while the storm ain’t here. I’ll be fine.”
“I don’t want you here all alone…” But the fight had left him. I’d won, he was just drawing it out now.
“Charlie should be back soon from droppin’ Cason off at school.
And Cash and Bad will be back in a few hours from that stupid futurity event or whatever the hell thing it was they went to this weekend.
” I leaned up on tiptoe and pressed a kiss to his lips.
“Go do this before you worry yourself to death, Maverick.”
He wrapped an arm around me, drawing me in close. “Fine,” he murmured against my lips. “But if you need anythin’... If you start to feel anythin’, you call me. Immediately.”
“Yes, cowboy,” I murmured, pressing another kiss to his lips.
He pulled back, gripping my chin between his thumb and forefinger. “I mean it, Chey.”
I offered him a soft smile. “I know.”
Maverick left shortly after with Ryder, though they’d opted to take Ryder’s truck instead of the ranch one. Ryder claimed they might as well walk, with how shitty and unreliable Cash’s was. Not to mention, the windows didn’t roll up on one side, and it had started raining.
Well, looks like I'll be spending the day inside.
I had a couple orders to make, and maybe I’d spend the time trying new candle scents since Mav was gone. He loved when I came up with new ones, but hated the process. Claimed it was too hard on his nose. Well, he wasn’t here to complain now, was he?
I headed out to the garage to grab all my things.
It didn’t take long to set up and pretty soon the whole house smelled like lavender, vanilla, and a touch of lemon.
I was so over this stupid, cold weather, and the smell reminded me of the sun and springtime and warmer days.
God, I missed the warmth, and it hadn’t even been that cold this year.
I found a baggie of dried wildflowers and began sprinkling them atop the melted wax when a string of cramps surged through me, enough to make me pause.
Fuck. More Braxton Hicks contractions.
I’d gotten them a week and a half ago and Maverick had demanded we go to the hospital, thinking I’d started labor.
But after wasting an entire day in the hospital to be monitored, the doctor sent me home, saying it wasn’t time yet.
I had an appointment on Wednesday, anyway.
My doctor said she would likely induce me if I hadn’t gone into labor yet.
Little girl had seemed happy enough in my stomach when I’d gone in for my ultrasound on Friday.
I’d last through the next two days. I was sure of it.
I breathed through the pain, letting it flow through me as it peaked and then receded, like a wave on the shore.
Thank God Mav wasn’t here. He’d have already had the truck running and been ushering me into the passenger seat. Hopefully they were gone soon, then he’d never have to know.
…except they weren’t.