Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
The evening after the Christmas trees were set up in both the White Oak Lodge and Francesca’s vacation home, Benjamin announced a spontaneous dinner at the lodge.
The idea was that they could gather and decorate the trees in time for Christmas.
As Benjamin announced it, he was exuberant, talking as though it had come to him spontaneously.
But it was clear to Jack that Benjamin didn’t want to be alone tonight, that he wanted to soak up as much family time during these frigid evenings as he could.
Who knew how many lonely Christmases he’d spent before this?
And it was true that when all the Whitmores gathered together at the lodge, a strange and exhilarating magic swirled through the air, making it impossible to say which year it was or how much time they’d spent apart.
It was intoxicating. But it also reminded Jack of his gorgeous Christmases back in Hawaii, warm Christmases when they barbecued on the porch and went to the beach afterward. He could still hear Kennedy, Penelope, and Gavin shrieking with glee as they plunged into the waves.
He wondered if they’d decorated the living room this year. He wondered if they’d bought a Christmas tree, and, if they had, who had hauled it home for them, who had secured it in the tree stand.
With more Christmas decorations packed in her trunk, Charlotte appeared at five thirty wearing bright red lipstick and a beautiful dark green dress.
She brought her boyfriend Vincent with her, Vincent from their high school days.
Jack got a real kick out of that, shaking his hand and saying, “It’s great to see you again, man.
” Vincent looked handsome and moneyed, every bit the successful chef he was now.
He beamed at Jack and shook his head. “It’s like plunging back through time.”
Charlotte grinned madly, then got to work, guiding Will and Fiona to the dining room Christmas tree to hang more decorations.
Amos was there, fetching drinks for people, and Vincent, Jack, Amos, and Benjamin got to work on the living room tree, hanging decorations in a way that they hoped would make Francesca happy—if she managed to make it to the lodge tonight at all.
Allegra called to say it was touch-and-go with Mama. “She’s still really tired from chemo,” she explained. “But she’s going to try to pull through in time for dinner. She wants to be with everyone.”
Benjamin looked disheartened, but he thanked Allegra for the call and said, “Everything will be ready for your mother on Christmas Day. That’s all that matters.”
“She’s going to love it, Dad,” Allegra said.
Jack could just barely make out Allegra’s voice over their father’s phone.
His heart felt squeezed. But he raised on his tiptoes and positioned the angel at the top of the tree, his mind flashing with images of his mother doing the same thirty-five years ago.
It was remarkable how much work parents put into their children’s Christmas.
This had only occurred to him when he’d become a father himself.
Nina had been busy in the kitchen that afternoon, making Christmas cookies.
She brought a tray of cut-outs covered with frosting, and everyone took a break to admire the decorations they’d hung already and eat a few too many cookies.
Nobody reminded anyone that they had to “watch their appetite, as dinner was coming up.” That wasn’t the point of the Christmas season.
“I can’t believe you made Mama’s recipe,” Jack said when Nina passed by with another tray.
Nina smiled. “Aunt Genevieve had a different recipe that she always used around Christmas. I never thought it was as good as it was. It broke my heart not to have Mama’s cookies over the years, so I finally figured out how to do them myself. It took a lot of trial and error.”
“They’re exactly the same,” Jack affirmed, taking another. “Mama will love them.”
Nina grinned. At that moment, she looked every bit like Chloe Essex, the woman who was really her mother.
Jack wondered where Chloe was now, if she was alone, if she had family who loved her as much as the Whitmores loved one another.
It must have been strange for Chloe to try to compete with Benjamin Whitmore’s love for Francesca.
Their love was complicated, but it was unforgettable, the kind of love that moved mountains.
The kind of love that lasted decades, even without seeing one another.
Dinner was pork chops with sweet potatoes and brussels sprouts, plus biscuits with decadent salted butter.
After the rest of the Whitmores arrived, including Alexander and his family, they all sat around the table, preparing to dig in, just as lights flashed from the driveway.
Nina hurried to the window and said, “It’s Allegra’s car! ” And then, “Mama’s here!”
The Whitmores scrambled to their feet, eager to make Francesca comfortable.
Soon, the beautiful, queen-like woman appeared in the foyer, unbuttoning her coat and hanging it up with a frail arm.
When her eyes found Benjamin’s across the foyer, she raised her chin, then flashed him with a beautiful and captivating smile.
Benjamin cleared the distance between them and kissed her cheek. “You look beautiful, darling,” he said.
Francesca whispered back, “I look ill and old.”
Benjamin shook his head and kissed her cheek again. “You look every bit as beautiful as ever. You’re the reason we’re together today. You’re the reason we want to celebrate.”
Jack watched as his father guided Francesca to the head of the table, where Allegra poured her a glass of sparkling water and asked if she wanted an alcohol-free champagne.
Francesca chortled at that. The concept of “alcohol-free” was entirely un-Italian.
But when she tasted it, her eyes glinted, and she asked for a little bit more.
“Who knew they’d come up with something like that? ” Francesca said with a smile.
Charlotte was in charge of the music. The speakers piped out Christmas hit after Christmas hit, usually sung by some of Francesca’s favorite Italian singers.
Francesca draped her hand across her chest and swooned.
“It takes me all the way to my girlhood in Tuscany,” she explained.
“I can picture it so well. I can picture my mother baking, and my father setting up the tree.” The rest of the Whitmores waited, wondering if she was going to mention Angelo in this setup, but she seemed to know better.
“I hope you kids have beautiful Christmas memories here,” Francesca said, her voice thin.
“Are you kidding?” Alexander laughed, a pad of butter melting across his raised biscuit.
“I tried to recreate all my Nantucket Christmas memories with my kids over the years. The problem with that, of course, was that it was Los Angeles. Too warm for anything like that. Maybe you can relate to that, Jack?”
Jack smiled. “We had beach Christmases.”
“It wasn’t the same,” Alexander said, smiling over at his children, Xavier, Conor, and Gwen, all of whom had taken to Nantucket living beautifully.
“Imagine what it’ll be like here next year,” Nina piped up. “We’ll be busy with lodge guests. We’ll host a big Christmas feast for islanders. We’ll have a grand party in the ballroom!”
“Yes,” Charlotte said, smiling.
“But we should be grateful for what we have right now,” Benjamin interjected.
“This is all I want this year. My family. My favorite people in the world.” He stared down at his mostly untouched plate, as though he was too in his head to think about eating.
“I can’t tell you how often I thought of you all over the years.
I can’t tell you how often I wanted to take it all back.
But we’re here, now. We’re together. And we’ll be together every Christmas for the rest of my life, I hope.
It would be the greatest gift I could imagine. ”
Francesca reached across the table and touched Benjamin’s hand. They shared a moment, one that felt sharp with emotion.
And then, another set of headlights flashed across the dinner table, glinting across the silverware.
“Who could that be?” Allegra asked.
“I think everyone’s here,” Nina said, furrowing her brow. She pulled her napkin off her lap and went to check, calling out behind her. “It’s a Chevy? Black. Relatively new model. Does anyone know someone with that?”
It was then that Jack realized Charlotte was staring at him. Her eyes told him something was up, that there was something she hadn’t told him. A feeling of cold panic rushed through him.
“What?” he whispered.
Charlotte tilted her head. “Nothing.”
“What do you know?” Jack demanded.
The headlights cut out in the driveway. There was the sound of slammed doors.
“Looks like some kids,” Nina called from the window. “I’ll answer it.”
Nina disappeared into the foyer. Jack’s heart thudded with wonder.
“Mine aren’t supposed to be here till tomorrow,” Allegra announced. “Unless I got the date wrong?”
“It’s tomorrow,” Lorelei affirmed. “They’re coming with mine.”
The front door opened. Nina cried out, “Oh, it’s you!” in a way that suggested she knew one of the people who’d come. All of the Whitmores looked at one another quizzically. And then Jack heard the sound of Kennedy, crying out, “Wow, this place is insane!”
Jack leaped to his feet so quickly that his chair fell behind him. He pulsated with disbelief. Maybe he’d imagined what he’d heard? But a moment later, Penelope answered Kennedy, saying, “It’s like a castle.”
Jack bolted from the table and rounded the corner to find his three children, removing their winter boots and winter coats and shaking snowflakes from their hair. When they saw him, their faces went white with shock. They probably looked just like his.
“Daddy!” Kennedy cried, throwing her coat to the ground and running to hug him. His other children were hot on her heels, barreling into him. He nearly fell over.
Tears filled his eyes, hot against the terrible cold air that had come in with the open door. He didn’t know what to say, so he bent down and hugged his children harder, willing them not to disappear. He couldn’t imagine what had brought them here. It was the most wonderful of Christmas miracles.
And then, he heard Addison’s voice, talking to Nina. They were speaking as though they’d met before.
“It was a crazy day, yeah, and then we had to get the kids some winter clothes, so you can imagine,” Addison explained. “They’ve never seen winter before!”
Slowly, Jack opened his eyes to find his wife standing in the foyer of the White Oak Lodge.
It was a sight he’d never imagined. She gazed down at him with a look of incredulity mixed with love.
It could only be love. He’d just seen it, echoing from Benjamin Whitmore’s eyes as he’d looked at Francesca. He would recognize it anywhere.
Jack rose to his feet, his hands still on his children’s shoulders. “Addy,” he breathed.
Addison walked over to them. Gavin cried, “Mom, you didn’t tell us Dad would be here!”
“I wasn’t sure if he would be,” Addison said gently.
“But you guessed it,” Kennedy said, accusing her.
“I didn’t know,” Addison said. “I didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up.”
Jack’s stomach ached. He couldn’t understand how she’d found him, nor how she knew Nina, nor why she didn’t want to rip him to shreds. He raised his hand and touched her cheek. But she flinched and drew back, as though she couldn’t trust him. He knew he couldn’t blame her.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” he said, letting his hand drop.
“Ditto,” she returned.