Chapter Eight
Sawyer waved as Long-Haired Roger pulled away, starting to tow Sabrina’s car down the mountain.
It had been a day and a half since she’d left, and he was fairly certain she’d already sent Wyatt a number of texts. They weren’t having trouble communicating at all. He’d heard his partner talking on the phone with her late the night before. Luckily Wyatt had put his cell on speaker so Sawyer had been able to hear her voice, listen in as she described her day of lesson planning and talking to her sister. Apparently, she’d decided to tell Elisa she was having dinner with Wyatt because they’d had such a lovely time together being snowed in. She’d told Elisa they’d talked and played games and watched movies. She’d talked about the lovely meals they’d prepared together.
She hadn’t mentioned Sawyer even once.
She apparently hadn’t told her sister how he’d fucked her at every given opportunity. She’d skipped the part where she’d lain in his arms and talked about her job and how much she loved it while he’d kissed her and stroked her breasts and memorized every fucking word she’d said. She hadn’t mentioned how those movies they’d watched almost always had to be paused so she could ride his cock while she blew Wyatt’s.
How he’d been planning to lay siege to her tight asshole had her dad not shown up and snowmobiled her away. He was entirely certain that motor wasn’t legal.
“Maybe I should have driven it down and taken it to her myself.” Wyatt stood beside him, watching the tow truck slowly make its way around the curve.
The road up the mountain had just been cleared, and Wyatt was already planning how he was going to get into the valley tonight for his date. Sawyer was pretty sure if the road crews hadn’t cleared it, Wyatt would have walked down. Or called up Mel and begged for a ride. He’d caught Wyatt looking up books about aliens. The little fucker.
“Roger wants to take it in and have a look at it,” Sawyer reminded him. Wyatt was like a kid with his first crush. Or a man who knew he’d found a good thing and wasn’t about to let it go. “He’ll take it to the school or have Jesse or Cade deliver it back to her cabin. Trust me. They’ll take care of her.”
“Should I pick her up? For the date.” Wyatt tugged his gloves back on as Bella bounced around in the snow. “I should pick her up. She said we should meet at Trio, but I should pick her up.”
“The valley is fine.” Sawyer turned back to his Jeep, parked fifty feet away. They’d come down to help Roger out. Naturally Roger had brought his tiny chihuahua, bundled up in a dog coat and tiny boots, and Sawyer had spent most of his time trying to ensure Bella didn’t sit on the thing and squash it. That dog was Long-Haired Roger’s baby. Sometimes he wondered if Roger had ever tried to breastfeed when it was a pup. “The roads are clear. She’s got a meeting in town before dinner, so it’s easier for her to meet you there.”
Wyatt made it to the passenger door and sent him a look. A look that let Sawyer know he’d said way too much. “So you listened in?”
Sawyer sighed. He was out of practice. “You’re loud.”
“I was in my bedroom.”
“Which is next to the living room,” Sawyer pointed out.
Wyatt nodded. “Sure. I’ll try to be quieter. Especially when I have her over.”
What? Have her over? No one had said anything about having Sabrina over. Was he supposed to watch them date? Know not to come home when there was a sock on the door? There was an easy solution to the problem. “Shouldn’t you stay at her place? Also, this is your first date. I don’t think you should be thinking in terms of staying overnight with her.”
A snort came out of Wyatt as he swung himself up into the cab. “I think last weekend counts as a first date. We spent two and a half days together. This is simply our first public outing.”
“The town will think it’s a first date,” Sawyer groused, and he wasn’t sure why. Well, he was. He just wasn’t sure why he felt the way he did.
Left out. Abandoned.
It had, in fact, been his idea not to join them in the whole let’s-be-normal-and-date thing. Well, normal for Bliss. The whole only dating one person thing would put them on the outer corners of normal in Bliss. They would have to hang with Nell and Henry and Marie and Teeny. Cassidy and Mel.
Huh, the town weirdos really were a little weird. It said something when Marie Warner was the most normal of the group.
The point was, he knew he’d made this decision. So why did it rankle?
“Good. I want everyone to know we’re dating, and maybe then people will stop trying to set my girlfriend up,” Wyatt said with a shit-eating grin on his face. “It’ll put those deputies on notice. She won’t be going out with them again. They texted her while she was here. Did I mention it? They actually texted her and said they would be willing to risk life and limb to come get her and take her home.”
Those Creede boys definitely knew a good thing. The truth of the matter was there was a dearth of women who wanted to settle down here in Bliss, so when they showed up they tended to be popular. “Be careful around the deputies. The sheriff’s okay, and I think Elisa and Cam are fine, but I don’t know the Creede boys. They’ve only been working shifts since Logan left and Cam went part time.”
He could never be sure about law enforcement. Some of them simply looked at him and decided he was a criminal. If the deputies who wanted Sabrina didn’t mind playing a little dirty, they could fuck with Wyatt.
Another reason to stay away. Sawyer whistled, and Bella bound down the road and without missing a beat, leapt into the back of the Jeep. She hit the seat and shook the snow off her big body, sending it all over the place before she snuggled down into the thick blanket he kept there.
It was supposed to be for emergencies, but somehow it had become a dog bed.
“Hey, girl. Did you have fun playing with Princess Two?” Wyatt reached around and petted the dog, whose tail thumped happily.
Sawyer shut the door and put the truck in drive, starting down the road toward the bottom of the mountain and Hell on Wheels.
Wyatt might have nothing better to do with his time, but Sawyer had a business to deal with. He needed to get the bar up and running now that the sun was out again. He would probably have to take over the shit Wyatt had been doing. The accounting stuff he hated. But could he count on Wyatt to still want to work when his head would be down in the valley? How long would it be before he started staying in the valley full time?
“You’re such a good girl,” Wyatt was saying.
Would Bella miss Wyatt if he moved out? When he moved out?
What if Wyatt asked to take Bella with him? It wasn’t like Sawyer hadn’t told him a million times it hadn’t been his idea to get a dog and he didn’t even want a dog. And he’d complained about the dog taking up space and having to feed her and getting mud everywhere.
Wyatt wouldn’t want Bella. Right?
“You know she’s my dog.” Why had he said that?
Wyatt sat back, turning toward Sawyer. “Yes. Bella is yours. Uhm, should I not tell her she’s a good girl?”
Bella’s head came up like she understood the question and was deeply offended at the thought of not being told the truth.
Because she was a good girl.
“No.” Sawyer kept his eyes on the road. Up ahead he could see the taillights of the tow truck as it rounded the corner. “Just wanted to make sure it was clear.”
Wyatt huffed. “You want to make sure I don’t run off with your dog when I inevitably leave you.”
“Not what I said.”
“No, but you felt it,” Wyatt countered.
This. This was why he didn’t talk. Talking always got a man in trouble. When one kept one’s mouth shut, no one asked questions. Oh, sure he’d get the “is anything wrong” question in the beginning, but after a few taciturn nos, people usually stopped asking.
“You think I’m running off with Sabrina and now I’ll steal your dog and you’ll be all alone.” Wyatt somehow managed to make the words sound like an accusation.
“I absolutely did not say anything of the kind.” He hit on the one thing he could hang on to. There had been one disagreement they’d had all weekend long. “I want it known Bella shouldn’t be fed scraps. I don’t want you taking up Sabrina’s bad habits. It’s not good for her belly.”
Bella whined. Like the damn dog knew he was talking about all the treats Sabrina had been sneaking her and they would never come again.
Or she was reacting to his harsh tone.
“Sure,” Wyatt agreed.
They were silent for a moment. A nice moment. A peaceful moment.
“You know I’m not abandoning you, right?” Wyatt asked, his tone soothing.
Why was Roger taking so fucking long? Sure it was a dangerous road and he was in a large, unwieldy vehicle towing another vehicle, but he could pick up the pace. “You seem to be ready to stay forever. You were only supposed to be around a couple of nights, you know.”
If he’d offended Wyatt, he couldn’t tell. Wyatt merely adjusted his seatbelt and relaxed back. “Well, I wouldn’t have stayed if your place wasn’t so nice. I think you might be lonely if I left. It’s almost like you fixed the cabin up for a family.”
Where the hell was that coming from? “I did not. The only thing I renovated was the bathroom. I wanted a proper shower.”
He’d explained his reasons. Childhood trauma. The second bathroom he’d added was also from the childhood trauma of sharing one bathroom with five people at times. Humans weren’t meant to live that way.
“And you redid the kitchen,” Wyatt pointed out.
He forgot so many things. “Because you whined so much.”
“And built the dining room table,” Wyatt continued.
“I like to build things.” He wasn’t sure what the man was going on about. It was a hobby. It wasn’t like longing or shit.
Wyatt wasn’t through. “And the coffee table, and I would be surprised if it was your grandad who bought the plates and glasses.”
“I got a deal at the Restaurant Depot in Colorado Springs.” Why was Wyatt poking at him? Even assholes needed plates. Matching ones. Pretty ones.
Wyatt’s shoulders shrugged. “Well, all I’m saying is the place is nice. Way nicer than anyone would think.”
It had been so much better when they barely talked. He should let this go. Let it go, and Wyatt would stop talking if Sawyer shut his yap. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“All I’m saying is people would be surprised how nice the place is since you seem determined to make them think you’re some kind of hermit with no care for anything except…” Wyatt seemed to think for a moment. “I actually don’t know what they think you care about. The bar. The businesses. Money. They think you only care about money. Holy shit. You’re modeling yourself after Scrooge.”
And they’d ventured into the ridiculous. “I am not.”
“Is it from the one with the Muppets or McDuck?” Wyatt asked, proving he’d skipped high school English.
“I am not Scrooge.” He wasn’t. He didn’t really care about money, but what the hell else was he supposed to do besides work? It was what his grandfather had taught him. The only time he’d been away from work was the year and a half he’d followed his idiot brother around. “And don’t start calling me Grinch either.”
“Why not?” Wyatt asked with a shrug. “According to your reputation around town you hate Christmas.”
Damn it. He ran out of a Christmas party shouting nope one time and this was what he got. “I don’t hate Christmas. I just don’t think about holidays much. For a bunch of years my friends weren’t around during the holidays. After my grandfather died and my brothers left, I depended on my friends, and then they were gone, too. Ty worked two jobs. Lucy dealt with her family, and they were a handful. I used to spend time with River and her dad, but he died and she went on the run with Jax when the CIA was trying to catch him and vivisect him.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
It was good to know Wyatt hadn’t figured out everything, but Sawyer waved him off. “Long story. That dude’s from another universe, and it’s dangerous there. But it’s all good now. They’re all happy and back in Bliss.”
Wyatt just kept going. “But you didn’t spend last Christmas with them. I should know because we split a rotisserie chicken, can of green beans, and a six-pack of beer.”
“Like I said, they’re all happy. They don’t need me hanging around.” One more turn and he would be at the bar and he could go hide in his office.
Actually, his office would make a nice hidey-hole for a couple of days. The rate Wyatt and Sabrina were going they would be married by Thursday and have two point three kids next week. Then they wouldn’t even think about the surly asshole who shared their bed for a weekend.
What the hell was wrong with him?
“You genuinely think you hanging around them would drag down their happiness?” Wyatt went into a soft tone Sawyer had begun to think of as his therapist mode.
They were not going there. “Maybe I don’t like being around them. Maybe I can’t stand all the white picket fence boringness of making popcorn and watching movies and talking about what happened at work. You know what happened at work? Nothing. Lucy dealt with some rich asshole and Ty saved a life and River and Jax took some tourists on a raft. Why should I care? And they’ll be having babies soon. Oh, they talk a lot about babies. What the fuck do I know about babies except they poop and cry and I don’t want any.”
Most of the time he didn’t. Sometimes he thought it wouldn’t be terrible to have one. Maybe two. Three was too much. Three made one of them an asshole, and then the other two hated him.
Shit. Was this about his childhood?
Did he actually have abandonment issues?
“Do you?” Wyatt asked. “Do you hate being around them?”
Of course he didn’t. He missed them. Hell, sometimes he even missed Michael—Lucy and Ty’s partner. He was quiet, the kind of man you could nod at and stand silently and drink a beer around. Now that he thought about it, he and Michael might have never exchanged more than twenty words in the whole time he’d known him.
Michael might be his favorite person.
“It doesn’t matter. Look, I know you’re trying to psychoanalyze me so stop.” He made the last turn and watched as Sabrina’s car was towed onto the highway. It was a crappy car. A sedan had no place here in the mountains. She needed something with four-wheel drive. Something that could handle the weather and the turns and terrain. “You need to get her a better vehicle.”
“Uhm, I don’t know I’m in a position to buy her a car.” For the first time in days, Wyatt seemed unsure of himself. “I don’t have much saved up. I left the MC with nothing but the clothes on my back. I used everything I made in the last couple of months on the bike I got from Jesse and Cade.”
“I meant help her get a new one. And teach her to drive.” Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Wyatt’s hand go up. “Damn it. Fine. I’ll teach you and you can teach her.”
Wyatt’s brow furrowed. “I can drive a bike, but I’m not good with cars yet. It’s a different skill set.”
“How did you plan to get to your date tonight?” Had Wyatt thought this through? Or had he been distracted by boobs? “Are you going to follow her back on your bike? And when you asked if you should pick her up, did you mean throwing her on the back of that piece of crap you bought? Do you have a second helmet?”
“I was going to give her mine,” Wyatt admitted.
“Now that will get you in serious trouble. There are no helmet requirements for anyone over eighteen, but Nate will find a reason to pull you over. You’ll find yourself in Doc’s office, and he’s got pictures and x-rays, and the stories the man can tell.” Sawyer didn’t fuck with Doc Burke, and when he rode a bike, he definitely put on a damn helmet.
“She probably shouldn’t be on a bike,” Wyatt said, his shoulders coming up.
This was what he needed. This was the wedge that would make Wyatt see what a terrible idea all of this was, and then they could go up to the ski lodge and sit in the bar and find a ski bunny who wanted nothing more than a good time. He didn’t have to lose his friend. “You can take the Jeep. I’ll have someone drive me back at the end of the night if you’re still out.”
“Really?” Wyatt sounded hopeful again. “I’ll be careful.”
“If you stay with her, make sure to text me. Someone can pick me up and take me to work.” Or he would stay in the office tonight. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d slept at the bar. Damn, did he have dog food? He was pretty sure he had dog food.
Where Roger had turned left to go into the valley, Sawyer turned right and could see the bar up ahead. The lights weren’t on yet, but the place was so familiar he always seemed to see it with its neon red and blue blinking arrow. His grandfather told him the arrow brought in the customers.
His grandfather would have liked Sabrina.
Sawyer pulled into the parking lot and noticed the back door by the trash bins was standing open. Lark walked out, wearing jeans and her coat, a cell phone at her ear.
That was when his cell buzzed.
She looked up, and a visible sigh went through her.
Something was wrong. Sawyer cut the engine and was out of the truck as his longest-running server jogged up to him.
“Hey, boss. You know how you always say we have to make sure there are no holes in the walls because the rats will come in looking for warmth?” Lark frowned. “This time they were looking for cash and booze.”
“Is everyone okay?” Wyatt asked, Bella at his heels.
“Are they still here?” He didn’t want to think about what could happen to his servers if they came across some assholes trying to rob them. “You know what I said.”
Bella joined Lark, rubbing her head against the server’s thigh. Lark nodded as she ran a hand over Bella’s head, seeming to get comfort from the gesture. “Yes. Give them anything they want if I can’t get to your office and lock myself inside. I know, boss.”
His office was something of a safe room. The door was steel reinforced and had an electronic lock. It also had a way out. His grandfather had often kept large sums of cash and wanted protection.
Joe walked out. He didn’t bother with a coat. The big guy didn’t wear one even in the coldest weather. He was six foot four inches of pure muscle. “They were gone by the time we came in. Likely for more than a day given how cold it was in there. They knocked over some tables, took the hundred you leave in the register and a couple of bottles of the cheap stuff. Dumbasses didn’t find the twenty-one-year-old Scotch you keep for Taggart.”
He kept a small stash of more expensive stuff for the rich Texans who liked to walk on the wild side when they visited their vacation cabins. There was a reason he kept a hundred in the register. “They didn’t find the safe?”
“I can’t be sure they even looked for it.” Joe put a hand on Lark’s shoulder, which let Sawyer know she was more freaked out than she was letting on. “I don’t know this was anything more than a couple of kids looking for a thrill. They took some cheap booze and knocked over some of the tables. Hell, as far as I know they were caught in the storm and needed shelter, but they’re assholes about it.”
“And what happened to the security system?” It wasn’t like he simply locked the door and hoped for the best.
“It was going off when we got here, but I think the wireless got knocked out in the storm,” Lark said, sounding more sure now. “The physical alarm works on batteries, but the part that pings your phone requires the Internet to work, and it’s been up and down even in the valley. I called the mayor’s office, and they said they expected things would be back up and running sometime this morning.”
His cell started to ping. Apparently the mayor had someone working on it. Likely the Farley brothers. They were far faster than any professional group, though they would likely have to hack some systems. It was the way things tended to work in Bliss. Sure enough, he had a notification his security system had gone off. Helpful.
“Should I call the sheriff?” Wyatt asked.
Technically they were on unincorporated land and Wright didn’t have jurisdiction. Practically, he knew what he had to do. “Yeah. Insurance won’t pay unless there’s a police report, so give them a call. I don’t suppose the security cameras were working.”
“They were off and on because electricity was spotty. I told you we needed to upgrade the generator,” Joe said with a shake of his head.
He would never hear the end of it.
“Hey, Gemma. This is Wyatt Kemp out at Hell on Wheels. We had a break-in over the weekend and were hoping someone could… Yeah, he knows I’m calling,” Wyatt said. “He’s standing right here. Well, Sawyer might not think he needs the sheriff’s office involved, but I assure you the insurance company is going to…”
Sawyer sighed. Sometimes his reputation made things difficult.
He walked into the bar that had been in his family for over fifty years. At least the break-in would take his mind off the fact that the sweetest woman in the world was once again firmly out of reach.
* * * *
“Hey. Sorry I didn’t see you yesterday.” Elisa walked into the office, tugging the hat off her head. She was dressed in her khaki uniform, her hair pulled back in a neat bun. “There was a nasty accident coming into town, and it took forever to get it all figured out, and then there was the paperwork. By the time I got home, I thought you would be in bed. Then Hale let me sleep in because I got home so late, and I missed you this morning. So I thought I would catch you before school starts.”
Sabrina felt a smile cross her face. “It’s almost one.”
Nell Flanders and Holly Burke were with the younger kids for lunch so Sabrina could have an hour of admin time. Will and Bobby almost always went home for lunch, but they’d brown bagged it today and were helping Del with the older kids.
“Yeah, I missed that, too.” Elisa put her hat down on the desk and took the seat in front of Sabrina’s desk. “It’s been a day. I’m sorry I didn’t come get you myself.”
Sabrina sat back. “No, you sicced Dad on me. Or did you mean to sic him on Wyatt and Sawyer?”
Elisa’s brows rose. “Did I need to sic him on Wyatt and Sawyer? He wouldn’t tell me anything beyond you were safe and you had dinner with him and Cass last night. And he told me the electricity problem you went up to complain about isn’t Sawyer’s fault.”
It was good to know Mel Hughes didn’t simply report back to his bio daughter. He was the dad she’d always longed for. Even if he was a little weird. “Don’t tell me it’s an alien.”
“He says ghost,” her sister countered. “Apparently Dad also believes in the afterworld.”
Sabrina groaned. “It doesn’t matter. Sawyer’s agreed to pay Hale to fix it.”
Elisa nodded. “I’ll let him know.” She went quiet for a moment. “What happened? Don’t give me the BS you did on the phone.”
She’d spent a good part of the day trying to decide how to handle her sister. She’d talked around things during their brief phone call. She’d discussed the situation with Wyatt, who’d told her he’d back however she wanted to play it.
She didn’t want to play.
“It was the most amazing weekend of my life.”
Elisa took a long breath and seemed to decide on how to proceed. “So you slept with them.”
It was surprisingly easy to tell her the truth. “I did. It was amazing and I’m okay. We talked, too. We spent real quality time together. They’re amazing men.”
“You know about…” Elisa began.
She needed to stop her sister before they got too far along. “I know about Wyatt’s childhood. I know he grew up in a world we can’t imagine, and Sawyer was the one who got him out. Not directly, but Sawyer’s time with the Horde affected Wyatt on a base level. He taught Wyatt how to value himself enough to leave.”
“I haven’t heard the full story, but then it’s not like Sawyer talks a lot,” Elisa admitted. “I think I’ve had one conversation with him, and it didn’t include a bunch of words. It was mostly nods and grunts. So you’re with them now?”
“I am with Wyatt. Sawyer was a lovely weekend, but we’re not a good match.” She rather thought they were. When she was around Sawyer talked more, opened himself up. But she couldn’t force him to see that she was good for him. She knew damn well Wyatt was good for her. He made her smile, made her look forward to something besides work. She liked how he was embracing the world. He’d told her he was going to the library to pick up a copy of Twilight so he could feel closer to Bella. She was looking forward to discussing sparkle vampires with him.
He was adorable and sexy, and he made excellent brownies.
And that thing he did with his tongue…
“Are you sure you want to make decisions based on one weekend?” Elisa asked, her brow furrowing.
“How long did you need with Van and Hale?” Her sister was being a hypocrite. She pretty much met her men and started seeing them exclusively. She had two boyfriends roughly two days after she’d hit town. Sabrina had taken months to find her men.
Though she hadn’t actually gotten both of them.
Would she mourn Sawyer forever?
The truth of the matter was she should be grateful Sawyer hadn’t put up a fuss about her dating Wyatt. It was obvious the men of Bliss took their partnerships seriously, but Sawyer had simply nodded and wished them well.
Had the rejection hurt Wyatt’s feelings, too? Would he mourn the loss of Sawyer?
Sabrina shook the idea off. Wyatt knew what he wanted. It wasn’t like Wyatt and Sawyer wouldn’t be friends. Wyatt still lived with the man and probably would for a long time. They were going to take it slow.
Unlike her sister.
“It was like a week.” Elisa sighed. “As long as he makes you happy, I’ll be happy.”
“Are you sure?” She wanted to make a couple of things clear to her sister. “I know you’ve worked almost all your life in some kind of position of authority.”
“And I’m marrying two guys with really interesting histories.” Elisa’s lips curled up, and she got the secret smile she always had when she was thinking of Van and Hale. “Van’s parents carted him all over the country. We’re pretty sure he was accepted into two actual cults. No formal schooling until he was an adult. He’s been arrested a couple of times. Hale’s not exactly what I would call a people person… Huh. When I think about it we kind of shop at the same store, sis.”
Sabrina laughed. “I guess so.”
Elisa leaned forward, reaching out and putting a hand over Sabrina’s. “Hey, you know I’m here for you no matter what. Whether I like the guys you date doesn’t matter, and the last thing I want is to stand in the way of your happiness. You could have heard Van and Hale’s backgrounds and put up a wall, but you didn’t.”
She hadn’t even thought about it. All she cared about was how her sister felt. Luckily, she liked her future brothers-in-law. “Because they’re great guys.”
Elisa sighed and sat back. “Mom would have. Mom would have done anything she could to get rid of them. I can hear her sometimes asking me why I’m trying. I already had one divorce. Why do I think this time it’ll work? She would have pointed out every flaw in them.”
“Because she didn’t believe any guy could be great,” Sabrina replied. “You can’t listen to that voice. Mom put so much of her own trauma on us. There’s not a piece of advice she gave us not steeped in her own self-loathing. I spent way more time with her than you did. You very smartly got the hell out when you could. I stayed home because I was scared.”
“She raised you to be scared,” Elisa pointed out. “She wanted you to take care of her. She knew I would leave, but she thought she could keep you around to be her caretaker. So she taught you to be afraid.”
Sabrina’s gut tightened even thinking about her mom. “And to not trust my own instincts. To not believe anything good could happen to me. And when you got cancer after she died, I felt like she was right.”
“It was bad timing,” her sister said quietly.
“No. It was great timing because it was caught early and you’re safe and healthy today. That’s what I figured out. Mom only looked at the bad things that happened and not how we could make it better, learn something, grow from how we handle the tough times. She constantly turned in on herself.” Sabrina had been to a therapist when Elisa had first been diagnosed and she’d known her time as caretaker wasn’t over yet. She’d nursed her mom and then sister, and talking about how she felt had helped open her eyes. She understood why she’d done the things she’d done in the past. “Our grandparents weren’t warm and loving. She didn’t have any siblings. She was alone and she learned to be that way, learned to think bad things happened because the universe wanted them to happen to her. It’s an odd form of control. A way to make things all about herself so she never had to worry about anyone else.”
Elisa’s head shook. “If the universe is out to get her, what’s she really going to do about it? That’s not control. It’s an unwillingness to put in any effort to change.”
“Sometimes change isn’t possible. I like to think Mom’s affair with Mel was her trying to change.” Meeting Mel had been a revelation. She would never have imagined her mother with a man so kind. “He’s so unlike the men she was normally attracted to, and I’m not talking about the alien stuff. Mel is kind and caring. He’s thoughtful.”
“And he scared her. She wasn’t used to having someone openly care about her and she didn’t trust it, and then she was pregnant,” Elisa admitted.
“You know she once told me she never wanted kids.” It had been a late-night revelation a few months after her mother’s initial diagnosis.
Elisa huffed. “Great thing to tell your kid.”
Sabrina shrugged. “She’d had a couple. In vino veritas. The point is, she had you and then she had me. She never loved my bio dad but she went out of her way to be with him. I wonder if there wasn’t an act of hope in that.”
“In dating a dude she didn’t love and having a child with him when she knew it wouldn’t work out?” Elisa asked, brow rising.
Her sister didn’t connect emotional dots well. “In giving you what she never had. A sister.”
Elisa stopped, her jaw tightening. “You think she had you so we would have each other?”
It might have been the kindest thing her mother had ever done. “I think it’s possible. I like to think it’s the one hopeful thing she did. We were left with very little, and then you got the diagnosis and we didn’t break. Why didn’t you break?”
A faint stain pinkened her sister’s cheeks, a sure sign she was getting emotional. “Because I couldn’t let you down.”
Sabrina’s answer was the same. “I didn’t break because I couldn’t let you down either. So here’s where we make the choice. You already did. You chose not to let the past hold you back. You chose to embrace everything you found here in Bliss. No matter what happens in the future. I’m doing the same. I’m embracing this new family you brought me into with so much gratitude. I can’t tell you what it felt like to have Dad pick me up.”
Even though it had sucked to leave Wyatt and Sawyer early, knowing Dad cared enough to come get her had warmed her heart.
“Because no one ever did it for you before,” Elisa said with a sigh. “Because Mom would have told you to suck it up, but Dad would never leave you alone if he had the choice.”
“And I’m not his biological child.” Yet he’d accepted her so easily. Far more easily than either of her bio parents.
“I don’t think that means much here,” Elisa pointed out. “What I’ve found is Bliss is a place where people go when they need something different. Where blood isn’t the only way to make a family. Where we can be who we are, and as long as we’re kind we’ll be accepted.”
It was why she loved it here. “Yes. It’s kind of like paradise, though sometimes the locals don’t understand what a good thing they have.”
A laugh huffed from her sister. “We’re back to Sawyer.”
Yep. They were back to Sawyer. “I understand so many things about him, but not this. Why does he think people don’t like him? I guess the better question is do people like him?”
Elisa thought before she answered. “From what I’ve been told, Nate didn’t understand the reasons he was in the MC before. Nate used to be a DEA agent, and he spent years embedded in an outlaw MC. It was rough on him, so when he found out Sawyer was a former member of one of the worst clubs he had to deal with, Nate wasn’t exactly friendly.”
Sawyer did seem hesitant around law enforcement. Wyatt oddly didn’t. “And now?”
“Now, he’s had a couple of years to calm down, and Sawyer’s helped on some cases,” her sister explained. “He also helped out one of the former deputies, Marie’s son, Logan. He got into trouble a few years back. I think it was serious, and Sawyer came through for him. Nate won’t talk about the specifics, but he thinks Sawyer is a solid guy now. And Nate thinks Wyatt is a goofball who had zero business being in an MC in the first place.”
“He didn’t have a choice.” Sabrina wondered how he’d survived a couple of those years. He told her he’d been initiated at eighteen, and it had gone downhill from there.
“We all know that.” Elisa sat back, crossing one leg over the other and regarding her sister seriously. “But you should know the past comes back and bites us in the ass when we least expect it. Be ready for it, and know you have a family around you. We’ll be there for you no matter what.”
Which was why this could work. “I know, and it’s why I’m following my instincts.”
“Is your instinct to take no from Sawyer?” Elisa asked.
It wasn’t. When she sat with the problem and asked herself what she should do, she went back completely on everything she’d said before. That had been her fear speaking. What did her hope think about the situation? “My instinct is to fuck the man until he can’t imagine not being in my bed.”
Elisa grinned her way. “And that’s a problem, why?”
Sabrina wasn’t the only one doing a one eighty today. “I thought I was too delicate to have a simple sexual relationship with a man.”
“I did not say that,” Elisa announced with a shake of her head. “I said I thought you were too emotional to want nothing but sex from a man. Sex isn’t all you want from Sawyer. You like him.”
Sometimes she wished she didn’t. He was complex. He was going to be such a hard nut to crack, but here she was. “I do. I’m surprised, but there are layers to the man I didn’t imagine, layers that go so well with Wyatt’s. He’s practical to Wyatt’s dreamer. He’s oddly artistic. He’s grumpy as hell, but I think it’s because he expects to be alone for the rest of his life. His grandfather was. His grandad lost his wife and then his only daughter, and he had to raise three teenaged boys alone. But I can see so plainly Sawyer wants more. He just doesn’t know how to get it. Or if he’s willing to let himself have it.”
“So give it to him for a while and see if time and proximity can change his mind,” Elisa offered. “Tell him you’re willing to sleep with him and date Wyatt, and he doesn’t owe you anything more than a good time in bed.”
Sabrina felt her eyes widen. “Who are you?”
Elisa chuckled. “I’m a woman who is learning to trust in her sister’s seemingly endless strength. I’m sorry I was so…like our mom the other day. I was worried about you getting your heart broken, but I forgot how you can’t feel joy if you don’t also feel sorrow. Mom thought she wouldn’t have to feel grief or loneliness if she never loved or needed anyone. I think the only thing in the world worse than grief is emptiness. Go after what you want, Brina. Be ruthless if you think you’re good for him. And if he breaks your heart…”
The thought didn’t terrify her the way it used to. A broken heart could be mended. An empty one couldn’t. “I’ll have my sister to hold me while I cry. I’ll have Cassidy making me tea and cakes, and Dad will threaten to bring the Neluts down on Sawyer’s ass.”
Her sister shook her head. “He means that literally. I got a big lecture on how they impregnate males. It was terrible. I can’t unsee it. There were slides.”
Sabrina laughed. “I’ll make sure to let Sawyer know to avoid all aliens. But seriously, I won’t want revenge on him. I want a shot with him because I don’t know if Wyatt will be completely happy without him, and I know damn straight Sawyer will never be happy alone. At least if I get my heart broken, I’ll have had some spectacular sex.”
Elisa’s grin went wide. “Who would have guessed the boring Leal girls would be so wild?”
“No one. Not a single person.”
“I want you happy, and happiness sometimes requires risk, so I say go for it,” her sister pronounced. “I would take you shopping and get you some sexy clothes, but we live here and our options are limited. We’ll have to fly to Denver for a weekend and go shopping.”
It would be a fun way to spend a weekend, but she wasn’t sure she needed it. “He seems to like me no matter what I wear. Attraction isn’t the problem. Getting through all of his walls is.”
“Wear him down, sister,” a practical voice said.
Sabrina looked up, and Rachel Harper stood in the doorway, a baby on her hip.
Callie Hollister-Wright was beside her and managed to look sheepish. “Sorry. We came by to talk about the lunch menu for next week and didn’t want to interrupt.”
Sabrina gave the women her best teacher stare. “Didn’t want to interrupt or didn’t want to miss a word?”
Callie winced, but Rachel simply strode in. “The second part. So you’re going to take Sawyer down? Are you sure because I have…”
Rachel could be a wrecking ball when she wanted to be. “I am not dating anyone but Wyatt Kemp. I am thoroughly taken, so don’t set me up with anyone. Move on to Delilah.”
Elisa stood and grabbed her hat. “I will let you get back to work, sis. Rachel, Callie.”
They both acknowledged her sister as she walked out.
“Fine,” Rachel said, shifting the young boy to her other hip. The youngest Harper simply yawned and laid his head on his mom’s shoulder. “I’ve been waiting for someone to come in and take Sawyer in hand.”
“In hand?” She knew? She’d taken him “in hand” several times.
“She means she wants to be able to get things out of Sawyer without actually having to talk to him,” Callie corrected. “Like whenever anyone needs something from Max, they go straight to Rachel, or when people think Nate’s in a bad mood, they come to me.”
“Speaking of, I am not paying that ticket,” Rachel informed her friend. “You tell Nate if he needs a new copy machine, he can ticket Stef.”
“You were going twenty miles over the speed limit,” Callie began and then waved her off. “We’ve talked a lot about how Sawyer could spruce up the bar and maybe have a better wine selection.”
“And a girls night,” Rachel said, taking a seat.
“Doesn’t Callie own a bar?” She knew the answer since she was going there tonight. For her date.
“Yes, she does, and you know how crappy it is to have a girls night when the husband of one of the girls is the bartender?” Rachel asked. “We get lectures on singing too loud and drinking too much, and oh, Rachel, don’t dance on the tables. It’s not hygienic. I am the mother of three children under the age of seven. I do not need Zane Hollister being my daddy.”
She was thinking about the look on Sawyer’s face when she proposed a girls night free for all at Hell on Wheels. It would probably go blank, like he couldn’t conceive the words had come out of her mouth.
But girls night could be fun. “Well, I have to convince him first. He’s made himself plain.”
“Did he or did he not take advantage of the storm to get into your panties?” Rachel asked.
“He did,” Sabrina confirmed.
Callie sat down beside her friend. “Sawyer wouldn’t have slept with you if he hadn’t really wanted you. I’ve known Sawyer for a long time. He’s younger than me but we were in school together for a couple of years. He’s very straightforward.”
That was part of the problem. “Yes, he is and he’s told me what he wants.”
Rachel waved the thought off. “He’s also dumb as a post when it comes to most things. The man thinks he’s the baddest dude in town. Sure, buddy. Maybe if you want to keep that schtick up you shouldn’t run around helping old ladies get groceries in their cars or haul your ass out to the alien highway to ensure Mel’s watch posts are secure and he won’t break a leg on the ladders. Max and Rye were planning to check them out, but Sawyer was already there working away. I would say he hates all of us, but he’s always nice when I’m around him.”
“He thinks everyone is scared of him,” Sabrina explained. “Because he was in an outlaw MC.”
Rachel snorted while Callie laughed.
“Sure, we’re scared,” Rachel said, patting her son’s back. “I’ve probably killed more men than Sawyer.”
Rachel went there often. It was a bit intimidating. “Okay, so how do I get him to understand he’s not unwelcome?”
A long look passed between Callie and Rachel.
“I think the men of the town will have to do some of the work,” Callie replied. “You do what you have to do to get Sawyer to see how nice it would be to have people in his life. And the best plan of action is having sex.”
Rachel smiled. “A lot of sex. Oh, and if you can do the whole ‘I don’t care about labels or stuff’ thing, it drives men like Sawyer crazy. If you convince him you do not care about locking him down, he will be so desperate to be locked down.”
“I would normally say Rachel is wrong, but I know Sawyer, and I think it’ll work on him,” Callie agreed. “He can be contrary.”
She wasn’t sure what they meant by the men having work to do, but she did agree Sawyer could be a little perverse.
The good news was she could talk to Wyatt about it. He hadn’t wanted to leave Sawyer behind. He’d been all in on the Sawyer could join them in bed idea.
Her date this evening was going to be interesting.