17. Drew
SEVENTEEN
DREW
I don’t know much about Jules’s parents.
Ever since we were kids, the only person I remember seeing showing up for Jules was her aunt Gemma.
She showed up to performances and to parent teacher conferences.
I remember because my parents used to talk to her.
For a long time, I thought Jules’s parents were dead, until one day, I saw a man and woman picking her up from school and mom told me they were her parents.
That was the only time I ever saw them.
“They fucking kicked her out?” Lavinia sounds outraged on the phone.
We’ve been back from New York for two days, and last night, Jules moved in. We managed to get all her things packed into boxes and moved in these last two days.
I’m standing in the backyard now since I needed to let Bailey out. It’s not even six and the sun has barely risen, but Bailey is on the same schedule as me and we usually wake up around this time, anyway. It has absolutely nothing to do with the Beast sleeping down the hall from me.
“Yeah, with a legal notice,” I confirm.
“Those bastards. And I thought Roman’s parents’ are bad,” Lavinia says.
“Roman’s parents’ are bad.”
Roman’s dad used to play for the Titans with our dad. A few months ago, when he showed up to one of our games, Roman broke his nose for talking shit about Lavinia.
“This is why she hasn’t answered any of my texts,” Vin says. “I thought she’s been kidnapped and I’ll have to bring in the national guard to find her. She never ignores my texts.”
That’s not the only reason. Since we’ve been busy packing, neither one of us has talked about how we’re going to tell Lavinia that we’re living together now.
I’m still not sure exactly what was going through my mind when I asked her to move in. All I remember thinking is that she’s in distress and I need to help her. Which apparently means inviting her to stay with me.
“Where is she now?” Lavinia asks. “In a hotel? Tell me she isn’t in a hotel. She should have gone to our apartment. I know Elena is catsitting, but she wouldn’t mind Jules being there.”
“Jules is here,” I say, before she can come up with another place for her.
“Here where?” Lavinia asks slowly.
“Here at my house,” I clarify.
Lavinia hums. “She’s staying with you. At your house.”
Neither of those are questions so I don’t answer.
Instead, I watch Bailey try to dig a hole under the fence to reach the neighbor’s backyard.
I whistle at her to come back. If Mrs. Naylor sees her anywhere near the fence, she’s going to lose it.
She’s a dog hater and I’d rather she not come after mine because I won’t be responsible for my actions.
“You and Jules are living together,” Lavinia says. “In the same house.”
“Exactly how long do you need to fully comprehend this idea? Because it took Jules less than thirty minutes.”
“It took Jules less than thirty minutes to agree to live with you?”
“Why are you repeating everything I say?”
It reminds me of a game we used to play when we were kids.
The mirror game, we called it. People were always fascinated by us being boy-girl twins like we’re a rare species.
Whenever we used to meet new people, we would say the same thing at the same time and everyone would be completely in awe that our minds worked the same way.
“Because I can’t make sense of anything you’re saying,” Lavinia replies. “What do you mean Jules is living with you?”
I sigh, thrusting a hand through my hair. I should have made coffee before calling her. I walk farther away from the backyard door, towards the fence.
“I was with her when she got the fucking letter,” I explain in a low voice.
“She looked pale but like it was no big deal that she was being kicked out of her apartment by her parents. I knew you would be upset if I just left her like that and I couldn’t think of anywhere else to take her so I asked her to come here. ”
My concern about what Lavinia will think if I left her best friend in that situation is only part of the reason Jules is sleeping in my guest room right now.
“That’s sweet,” Lavinia says. “I can’t believe you did that for us.”
I roll my eyes, watching Bailey circle the backyard.
“She’s asleep right now, and I don’t know what’s going on in her mind. I’ll have her call you when she wakes up.”
“Okay, good. Love you. Bye.”
The call disconnects. I’m not ready to go back inside so I open the unread messages in the HoBros group chat.
**The HoBros**
Crystal (Reese)
I miss you guys
Destiny (Holden)
I thought I was the only one!
Crystal (Reese)
My day feels so empty without looking at your faces
Kandi (Kai)
You’re just having separation anxiety. You’ll get over it quickly.
Trixie (Ford)
You do realize we’ll be back soon for pre-season?
Destiny (Holden)
You say that like you don’t miss us
Trixie (Ford)
I had dinner with your family yesterday
Crystal (Reese)
What?! Where was my invitation?
Destiny (Holden)
You’re in Jersey with your family. If it makes you feel better, mom prefers you over Ford.
Trixie (Ford)
Thanks. Tell Mrs. A I enjoyed the lasagna
Destiny (Holden)
Reese is just very good at making people comfortable.
Kandi (Kai)
What do you think Drew is up to? Do you think he misses us?
That was the last message sent ten minutes ago and I feel obligated to answer.
Sassy (Drew)
Nope.
Crystal (Reese)
Liar. Your day is incomplete without us
Trixie (Ford)
Nah. He’s been busy.
Destiny (Holden)
Without us?
Trixie (Ford)
He took Jules to a wedding in New York.
Sassy (Drew)
Remind me to punch you in the face the next time I see you.
Crystal (Reese)
You took our Juliet to a wedding?
Why does that question rub me the wrong way? Reese is close to Jules, mostly because Jules likes to play around with her Jersey accent and it reminds Reese of home. Also because the two of them can talk about romance novels endlessly.
Still, she’s not our Juliet. She doesn’t belong to this group. She doesn’t belong to anybody.
Are you sure about that?
I tell the annoying voice in my head to shut the fuck up because we don’t need any confusing feelings right now.
“Why are you huddled in the corner of the backyard glaring at your phone?”
Shit! I nearly drop my phone at the question. I look up and I have to work really hard to keep my expression neutral. Jules stands under the awning covering the deck wearing sleep shorts and a loose t-shirt. Her eyes are still puffy from sleep.
“Do you want to go for a walk?” I ask. At the word walk, Bailey lets out a bark, jumping around excitedly.
“Are you asking me or her?” Jules says.
“If we’re going for a walk, she’s coming with us,” I say.
Jules hides a yawn behind her hand and nods. “Let me change.”
She disappears into the house and I follow, grabbing Bailey’s leash and the house key. Jules comes down ten minutes later, wearing athletic shorts and a hoodie, looking far more awake.
“Let’s go.”
I lock the door behind us and head down the sidewalk toward the coffee shop. I’d prefer to make coffee at home, but I have a feeling Jules needs to get out of the house.
“Do you want to walk Bailey?” I ask.
Jules looks up at me and I notice the deep exhaustion in those bottomless blue eyes. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah. She won’t mind.” I hand over the leash and for the first time in two days, I see Jules smile. It’s almost nice walking next to her like this, so much so that I wonder if Lavinia is right and I do need to date.
“You can ask, you know,” Jules says, after we’ve been walking quietly for nearly five minutes.
I glance at her. “I wasn’t going to say anything.”
“Except letting me walk your dog and taking me out of the house and talking to me like you’re afraid I’m going to blow up at any second.” She sounds amused, so maybe the whole apartment thing isn’t as bad as all that. Except how could it not be because…
“You cut your hair,” I finally acknowledge.
“Yep.”
“Last night it was still long.” Long enough that it hit the middle of her back. Now it sits in a choppy cut around her shoulders.
“It’s a summer cut,” Jules says, tilting up her chin.
“A summer cut that you did in the middle of the night after being kicked out of your home?”
Jules's eyes are bright with amusement. “It wasn’t in the middle of the night. It was really early morning. And I have an appointment with my hairstylist to fix it.”
“Why’d you cut it?” That’s a question a friend can ask, right? Or am I just supposed to support her unexpected decision and go along with it like it’s nothing to be concerned about?
“I was looking at myself in the mirror this morning and I remembered what you said,” Jules says.
I look at her, mildly panicked that I somehow convinced her to cut her hair, and Jules laughs, shaking her head.
“About us being friends,” she says. “We’ve been stuck in the same cycle since we were five. It’s time for a change.”
I’m not sure how that correlates to her cutting off her hair. All it does is concern me because I have this intense need to help her, any way I can, and I can’t reach her.
“Don’t you want to call your parents and ask them why they kicked you out?” I ask softly.
A breeze lifts up her hair and she pushes it back behind her ear.
It’s still early, but the neighborhood is finally starting to wake up.
Somewhere in the distance, I can hear someone mowing their lawn because they don’t care that it’s before seven and people might still be asleep.
The sun filters in through the trees and I watch the way Jules steps around the shade and sticks to the light.
“I know why they kicked me out,” she says, just as softly.
I frown, not understanding. With a sigh, Jules pulls out her phone, scrolls through it, and hands it to me. I take it, expecting to see a message or an email. What I find is the Titans social media page, specifically our celebration after winning the Cup.
Jules is in most of the photos, looking happy and glowing next to Lavinia.
“I still don’t understand,” I say.
She backs out of the Titans pages and opens Ash and Remy’s shared account.
They’ve added photos and videos from the wedding.
But there’s one photo with just the three of them.
The sun makes her hair shine golden and she looks ethereal in that green dress.
In the caption, they haven’t shied away from saying how much they love her.
My stomach twists reading it and I finally acknowledge it for what it is, jealousy.
“Do you know why I refuse to have a public social media account that can be tagged? Why, despite Minhye’s insistence, Lavinia and I keep turning down a live show? Whenever we make a video of the podcast, the focus is always on Lavinia while I mostly stay off the camera?”
I shake my head. Jules is not shy, in the least. In fact, her personality is very much ‘I’m here, get fucking used to it’. We’ve made our way to the park and I find a bench for us to sit on while I unleash Bailey so she can run around.
“It’s complicated, but I’m basically hiding from my parents,” Jules says, looking ahead.
“Are they…criminals?”
Jules laughs brokenly. “No, I wish it was that interesting. They are…” She shakes her head. “I don’t know how to explain them to someone. To answer your question, I got kicked out because I made the grievous mistake of putting my life online and being uninhibited.”
She’s right. I don’t fucking understand her explanation. I don’t understand how a parent can hate their child’s happiness. I also realize that’s my privilege talking because my parents always showed up, always wished for our success and happiness.
“That’s not a mistake,” I say.
“It is a mistake,” Jules insists. “Because I’m showing them I’m happy, that I don’t need them, I have friends in my life, people who love me.”
I wish I could reach out to her, put my hand on her shoulder, hold her hand, something. Instead, I curl my hands into fists so I don’t touch her. Not unless she wants me to.
“Jules, listen to me. Your happiness is not a mistake. Being loved is not a mistake,” I say quietly. “I know you know that. What your parents did says more about them. You can’t dull down your shine for someone else.”
A tear slips down her cheek and she quickly brushes it away, sniffling once. “Don’t be nice to me.”
“I have to be nice to the woman who’s a ticking bomb,” I tease. “I might wake up tomorrow and find you’ve reorganized my whole house.”
She laughs, her teeth sinking into her plush bottom lip. “Yeah, wouldn’t want your pillows to be askew.”
“What’s wrong with my pillows?”
Her eyes swing to me. “There’s nothing wrong with them, so to speak. They’re just very neat. Too neat. Like a person doesn’t live there, let alone a person with a dog.”
“I like to keep things neat,” I insist.
With a roll of her eyes, she looks away, back toward Bailey. “It makes sense why you’re the captain.”
“I told Lavinia you’re staying with me,” I say.
Jules nods. “I heard.”
I look at her. “What are you, a vampire?”
“Please don’t mention vampires, they give me terrible flashbacks to when we were teenagers.” Jules covers her face. “Now I want to listen to Paramore.”
I straighten out my legs, crossing my arms over my chest. Under my breath, I hum a Paramore song as Jules shrieks with laughter.
“Stop it!”
I watch her laugh, the way the early morning sun lights up her unblemished skin, the way the wind flits through her hair. The curve of her mouth, the reddish hue to her cheeks as she laughs.
There’s something extremely dangerous happening here and if I stand far back enough, I won’t be able to tell. It’s where I’m choosing to stay, on the isle of ignorance.