21. Jules
TWENTY-ONE
JULES
**The SnackPack**
Elena
Jules, why didn’t you tell me you needed a place to stay? You could have come here and we could’ve had a sleepover.
Sage
You could have come to my apartment. I hate living alone.
Jules
Elena, the whole reason you’re catsitting is so you can live alone. Sage, you’re in New York.
Sage
I’ll be back soon. My vacation ends next week. River and Junie won’t join me until September.
Elena
I’m pretty sure I hate living alone and I blame my dads because our house is a revolving door of people. Turns out I don’t want to be around people but I don’t mind them being around me. If that makes sense.
Sage
It makes perfect sense.
Jules
Why don’t you add River to the group chat? Is she a group chat person?
Sage
Ha! She’s absolutely not a group chat person. When I told her about it, she looked at me like I’d grown a second head.
Elena
I can’t wait to meet her. She sounds right up my alley.
Sage
Jules, how do you like living with Drew?
Elena
I stare down at the question as the sound of water rushing through the pipes stops. Drew is done with his shower. We’ve been living together for a week now and it’s not been horrible. We’re both alive, we haven’t threatened to kill or maim each other.
From my room, I’m acutely aware of when Drew wakes up. He tries to be quiet when he leaves his room to take Bailey outside, but I’m wide awake the second he starts walking around in his room even though he’s down the hall.
When I told him I’m a light sleeper, I wasn’t kidding. Actually, the last time I slept through the night was with him next to me. And Drew isn’t exactly the best sleeper either because he’s up before the sun most days.
Jules
It’s fine. We’re both still alive.
Sage
That’s good to know. I don’t think prison orange is your color.
Elena
LOL
Jules
Turns out we can get along when we want to.
Elena
You just haven’t wanted to for most of your lives.
Jules
Exactly.
I hear a soft whine outside my door and I throw my covers off, padding softly across the room to open the door. As soon as it opens, Bailey pushes her wet nose against my legs and I laugh, crouching down to pet her.
“Good morning, baby. I missed you.”
I hug her and her front paws land on my shoulders as she hugs me back. She’s been trying to come in here at night but Drew takes her to his room or sends her to her bed in the den.
“Do you want to come in?” I stand up, letting her into the room and she climbs onto the chair by the window. I smile, pulling up the blinds. There’s a big tree outside the window, making this spot perfect for bird watching. I stand next to her, rubbing her scruff as we both look out for the birds.
A knock at the door has Bailey jumping off the chair and rushing to the door, pawing at it. I open it for her and she jumps up at Drew like she hasn’t seen him in years. Drew laughs, kissing the top of her head.
“Hey, potato. I hope you’re not bothering Jules.”
“Are you kidding? I love her,” I say.
Drew looks at me. “I have to take her to the groomers. Do you want to come with us?”
“Sure, let me get dressed.”
“We leave in an hour.”
I nod and just as I start to close the door, Bailey pushes her nose through the gap. I laugh as Drew shakes his head watching Bailey return to her perch.
“I’m so easily replaced,” he says.
“Please, you can never be replaced,” I reply.
Drew’s eyes meet mine and I realize exactly what I said and how easily it can be misinterpreted.
“For Bailey, I mean,” I clarify.
Drew nods. “Obviously.”
My cheeks heat up and I clear my throat, shuffling back into my room and closing the door.
I wait for his footsteps before I move away from the door and towards the en-suite to take a quick shower.
The best part of having short hair is it literally takes me fifteen minutes to dry and style it. I pull on a pink dress which does wonders for the girls. I push my feet into mules, grab my sunglasses, purse, and Bailey, and I’m ready to go.
I find Drew outside, talking to one of his neighbors. He’s so…domestic.
Like that day he was cleaning the rain gutters.
Then he mowed the lawn. The day after, he cleaned the whole house before the housekeeper showed up to clean it again.
Which I totally get and admire. Then he fixed the leaking pipe under the kitchen sink.
At dinner last night, he casually suggested going to the hardware store because he wants to replace the backsplash in the kitchen.
Backsplash! In the kitchen!
I don’t know what I was expecting moving in with a man, given that I’ve never lived with one, but it definitely wasn’t this. I’m surprised a woman hasn’t snatched him up yet. Dare I say it, Drew Callahan seems to be the kind of man women deserve.
When the neighbor walks away, Drew comes up the path to the front porch. He’s wearing a light blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up and it contrasts perfectly with his green eyes.
“Ready to go?”
I nod, unable to speak. His forearms are…damn.
No, no, no, why am I having these thoughts about Drew? Bad, bad Jules. I don’t date athletes. Nope, not going to happen. Stop it!
“Yep, let’s go!” I pull my sunglasses down and rush down the porch steps to the car.
If Drew thinks my excitement is weird, he doesn’t say anything. He unlocks the car, ushers Bailey into the back seat before walking around to the driver’s side.
We stop to get coffee on our way to the groomers and as we get into the drive thru, I start to give him my order when he turns to me.
“Large brown sugar vanilla latte, right?”
“Yeah, that’s right,” I confirm, a little surprised.
I think I mentioned it once? Over a week ago?
And he just remembered? I don’t think I’ve ever dated a man who pays attention.
It’s such a small thing to offer, too. It’s so basic, literally the first and sometimes the only thing people want in a relationship, and we still have to fucking ask for it.
“Do you want anything else?” Drew asks.
“Nah, I had a bowl of cereal for breakfast.”
Drew places the order and turns to me. “I don’t have cereal.”
“Yeah, you don’t have to tell me about your sad breakfast choices. I bought it.”
The only thing he has in his pantry for breakfast is protein powder, which makes sense because he’s in the gym for a good hour, hour and a half every morning.
I’ve now memorized his daily routine. He also has a fully stocked fridge with eggs and a variety of breakfast meats and options, but I don’t want to risk cooking in his kitchen.
While we’re dropping off Bailey at the groomers, I can’t help notice the way the girl behind the counter is flirting with Drew.
I hang up because I don’t want her to think we’re together in the romantic sense.
Not that it would matter because Drew doesn’t flirt back.
He doesn’t even acknowledge her beyond dropping Bailey off and confirming pick-up time.
As I’m watching them, I have an epiphany. I need to repay Drew for letting me stay with him, right? I’m going to get him a girlfriend. I’ll help him realize his potential as a good looking man who also happens to be a professional athlete. He’s practically catnip.
We’re walking around the hardware store after dropping Bailey and that’s when I decide to broach the subject. It’s best to do it while they’re distracted so they don’t see it coming.
“I think we should date,” I say.
Drew nearly chokes on his coffee, wheezing slightly.
“I don’t mean each other. You don’t have to freak out,” I say with a laugh.
He gives me an utterly unamused look. “You could have led with that.”
“Right, sorry. I meant we should date, in general.”
Drew halts the cart in the aisle with the backsplash and we stand next to each other, admiring the wide variety of tile.
“What’s everyone’s obsession with dating? If I want to, I’ll do it,” Drew says.
Right, that makes sense. I guess he doesn’t feel like he’s been left behind in life because his closest friends are now married and at some point in the near future might start family planning. I chew on my lip as I look at the backsplash. Drew and I are in different places in our lives.
“What are you thinking?” Drew asks.
“Nothing.” I lift a shoulder in a shrug.
“Spill it. I’ve never known you to keep your thoughts to yourself.”
I can’t decide if that’s a compliment or an insult. I still turn to him. “Do you ever feel…”
“Like a plastic bag?” Drew raises his eyebrows and I giggle. See this is what I mean when I say he’ll make a woman very happy. He might be a bit of a grump but he’s perfectly capable of being silly.
“No, not that. Do you ever feel like you’ve been left behind? Lavinia is married, Ash and Remy are married, and I can’t even find someone decent to date.”
Drew hums. “Which one?” He points between two backsplash and I point to the one I like and that I will look good in his kitchen. He starts to load the boxes in the cart.
“Who do you want to date?” He asks, as we make our way to the cash register.
“Someone who listens. Someone who doesn’t ghost me. Someone who doesn’t ask if I’m DTF. Someone who doesn’t think that just because I was in a throuple, it means I’m down for a threesome.”
I stop talking before I add the most important bit. Someone patient and gentle, who’ll touch me when I’m ready for it. Who won’t think my touch aversion is strange. Who won’t think that sex is guaranteed.
Most importantly, someone who understands the meaning of consent and understands that no means no.
My sessions with Dr. Kim have made me brave enough that I’m willing to try to find that person, but the doubts in my mind never leave.
Sometimes I worry they’ll stay forever and I’ll always be alone.
We walk out to the parking lot and I watch Drew load the boxes into the trunk. If I thought his forearms were attractive before, it’s nothing compared to when he’s lifting heavy boxes. There are veins popping out like he’s putting on a slutty forearm show.
“Have you tried finding someone?” Drew asks, once we’re in the car.
“Have you been on a dating app recently?”
Drew shakes his head. I pull out my phone and open one of the three dating apps I’ve downloaded.
“This is what the market has to offer,” I say. I pass him my phone. “Feel free to swipe left on all of them.”
I watch him scroll and swipe, his frown getting deeper and deeper.
“What about him? He looks decent.” Drew shows me my phone and I admit, the guy does look decent. Nice hair, nice smile, works in finance.
“First of all, he works in finance, second, I don’t swipe right on anyone who doesn’t have a verified profile.”
Drew swipes left. I put my hand on the screen before he can see another profile. I want him to look at the messages I’ve received in the past two weeks.
“Why the fuck is this guy asking you what positions you prefer? As an opening move?” Drew looks at me, bewildered at the idea that someone would do something like that.
“That one was my favorite. The SnackPack had a field day with it.”
“He’s thirty-five years old. Has he never had sex or does he think this is what women are into?” Drew asks.
“All of the above,” I reply.
Drew clicks on another message. The one that doesn’t start off bad until…
“I’ve seen a lot of dicks but never on a random Tuesday in a parking lot. I thought unsolicited dick pics are a thing of the past.” Drew looks like he’s about to toss my phone out of the window. Which is, funnily enough, the exact same reaction I had.
“Do you want to read more?” I ask.
“I’ve had enough, thanks.”
Like a person who just can't get enough of the bad thing, he clicks on another message.
“Okay, this one is good. Look, he even asked your favorite color and didn’t send a picture of genitalia.” Drew shows me the chat. “The bar is in hell, but on the bright side, it can’t get any lower than that.”
I snort a laugh.
“Let me make a profile for you and then we can double date,” I say. “It will be an experiment.”
Drew looks less than interested in that idea. “I can’t think of anything I want to do less.”
“You’re not going to make me do this alone, are you? What if this guy’s a total creep?”
I carry pepper spray, but I’d rather have a six foot four bodyguard to scare off the creeps.
“Fine,” Drew relents. “But you should know, this experiment is bound to fail.”
“I guarantee, by this time next year, you’ll be married to the love of your life thanks to this experiment,” I say.
Drew doesn’t reply because he’s a non-believer. I take his phone, make him unlock it, and set up his profile.
“Now we’re in this together,” I say.
“That’s not a great thing when the ride is leading straight to hell,” Drew says wryly.
As he starts the car and drives back to the groomers to pick up Bailey, I feel more hopeful about our dating prospects than I have in years. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll find someone who’ll love me the way I deserve to be loved.