38. Drew
THIRTY-EIGHT
DREW
Beasty
No need to worry!
Bailey has an ear infection but otherwise she’s fine! I’ve secured the medicinal goods.
I stare down at the text and breathe out a sigh of relief.
Drew
Thank you. Seriously.
In response, she sends me a picture of her and Bailey in her car, probably taken earlier that day.
My heart lurches inside my chest at her wide smile, the glow on her cheeks.
Changing myself from being a fuck-up to being the responsible guy everyone could rely on took a lot of work.
Right now, I want to say fuck it all and go back home to be with Jules and Bailey.
I never expected I’d miss her this much. It’s like a visceral ache inside my chest. Every morning before I wake up, I swear I can smell her sweet floral scent before my mind fully wakes and I’m in another hotel room with Ford sleeping on the next bed.
Absolutely nothing prepared me for the intensity of emotions I feel for her.
Something flies past my head and I look up, finally taking in the chaos of the dressing room. We’re playing against North Carolina tonight and we need to fucking win so I can’t be fucking distracted.
“Listen up!” I stand, drawing the team’s attention.
“We’re walking away tonight with a win. Am I clear?
They’ve beaten us at our last five games and tonight, that streak ends.
I’m fucking sick and tired of losing to these guys when I know we’re better than them.
I need every single one of you to bring your best game tonight.
The season’s just starting, boys, and we have a long way to go still.
As Coach always says, last season’s win means nothing if we don’t play like champions. ”
The team roars their agreement.
We walk through the tunnel onto the ice to loud cheering from the crowd.
After stretches, we skate over to Kai, standing in front of the net.
A team is only as good as its goalie and Kai is the best damn goalie we can ask for.
As I bump my helmet against his and tap him on the shoulder, the only thing I remember is Jules telling me she’s worried about all the pucks flying at Kai.
The game starts with us winning the face off and by the third period, we’ve executed a perfect shutout. The score stands 3-0.
As we trickle down to the end of the third period, with less than a minute left in the game, North Carolina makes a play for our net. Kai stops the puck with his pads. Roman hooks the puck and passes it to me and I’m rushing to cross the offensive line.
I shoulder check to make sure Ford and Holden are on either side of me.
My heart beats fast, sweat trickling down my body.
This is the reason I play. The perfect rush of endorphins is better than any high.
The only thing better than this is kissing Jules, and I’d never compare that to a high and cheapen the perfect electrical storm of sensation she creates in my body.
The two North Carolina defensemen are in front of me. I push the puck past the blue line, skating across with Holden on my right and Ford slightly behind us to catch a rebound. I pass the puck Holden and as the defenseman closest to him turns to guard him, I skate ahead closer to their net.
I’m between the two NC defensemen, but they’re guarding Holden and Ford. Seeing a clear opening, Holden passes the puck to me and I take a slap shot. The goalie moves to stop the puck but he’s a little too slow and the puck slides into the net.
The goal buzzer sounds and Ford and Holden jump me, shouts of excitement ringing in my ear.
“Kai, no one does it like you,” Reese announces, raising his shot glass.
Kai blushes slightly, holding onto his own shot glass. “Drew was the one who made the final goal.”
“A team is only as good as their goalie and we’ve got the best damn one,” I say. “Take the win, Kai. None of these guys would ever be so modest.”
With a soft, shy smile, Kai nods and raises his shot glass.
“To Kai!”
We all knock back our shot glasses. I prefer not to celebrate while on the road because our bodies need to be in top shape and travelling is exhausting enough without the addition of alcohol. Tonight, though, I knew no logical reason was going to work.
Not only did we break NC’s streak against us, we did it with a shutout. Nothing and no one was going to stop us from celebrating tonight.
“Dude, what’s going on with you?” Reese asks Holden, whose eyes are clued to his phone.
Hurriedly, Holden puts his phone away, shrugging lightly. “Nothing.”
Roman lifts an accusing finger at him. “That’s the same way I act when Lavinia texts me and I don’t want you guys to tease me about it.”
“We tease out of love,” Ford replies, smirking.
“You have a girlfriend and you didn’t tell me?” Reese turns wide eyes on Holden.
“No! I don’t have a girlfriend. God, no. I don’t need that in my life right now,” Holden exclaims, looking at all of us.
“Thou doth protest too much,” Kai says.
The rest of us nod in agreement. Something is definitely going on with Holden. I’m not going to pry, but I can’t stop the others from doing it.
“First rule of HoBros is we don’t keep secrets,” Reese says.
“I thought the first rule is we have to have weekly dinners,” Roman says.
He’s the newest member of the HoBros, inducted earlier this year when we were sure he wasn’t an asshole and I was sure he actually loved Lavinia.
I place a hand on his shoulder. “First rule of HoBros is there is no first rule. Reese makes them up as he goes along.”
“So anything can be a rule?” Roman looks at us curiously.
“Whatever Reese wants,” Kai says with a nod.
“Reese is sensitive like that,” Ford says.
“He’s not sensitive. He’s just a mother hen and he worries,” Holden corrects.
Reese shrugs because he knows he can’t deny it. Maybe it’s the way he grew up but as much as he plays up the careless, golden retriever, he feels just as much and is that much more likely to feel hurt when we keep secrets. Reese is fiercely protective and he doesn’t like secrets.
“There’s this girl,” Holden says.
“Knew it!” Reese exclaims.
Holden rolls his eyes, taking a sip of his beer.
We’re sitting in a sports bar not too far from our hotel.
The screens above the bar are playing highlight reels from the game we just played.
It’s too soon for me to be reviewing the game, but I can’t help catching snippets of the commentators every now and then.
“She’s not… It’s complicated,” Holden says.
“More complicated than dating your sister’s best friend?” Ford arches an eyebrow, looking at me. I glare at him.
“There’s no need to bring Jules into this,” I say. “Lavinia knows now and she doesn’t have a problem with it.”
I don’t add that the night she found out, she sent me a text saying she’s not above committing fratricide if I hurt Jules. Which doesn’t surprise me in the least. My sister is a girl’s girl and she’ll sooner support a woman’s wrong than a man’s right.
“It’s more complicated,” Holden says, surprising us all.
“Who the hell are you dating?” Roman asks.
Holden’s blue eyes widen. “I’m not dating anyone! Besides, I don’t think she’s interested, and even if she was, like I said, it’s too complicated.”
“There’s no such thing as complicated when it comes to love,” Kai says softly. “Love can be chaotic, powerful, it can make you miserable and happy, make you experience the highest highs and the lowest lows, but it can never be complicated.”
Reese nods, slinging his arm around Kai’s shoulder. “Listen to Kai. If you want this woman, the least you can do is tell her you want her.”
“What if she doesn’t want to hear it?” Holden asks.
“Be patient,” Roman says.
“Your patience is the best thing you can give her because in the end, she doesn’t owe you anything. But your patience might mean she gives you the smallest chance,” I say. “You have to ask yourself if the possibility of a chance is worth it. If she’s worth it.”
Holden looks down at the table in thought and nods. “And if she doesn’t want me?”
“Then you love from afar,” Ford says, picking at the label of his beer. “One day it becomes easier to look at her because her smile is worth more than anything you could ever give her.”
I look at him curiously. I used to think he simply liked Sage. Maybe it’s been something more this whole time and he’s never said anything to me?
We walk back to our hotel after a couple more drinks for the guys because we’re leaving tomorrow.
Three more games until we’re back in Boston and I can go to sleep in my bed.
Well, Jules’s bed. I’ve noticed she has some inhibitions about being in my room and the last thing I want to do is trigger her in any way.
All I want is for her to feel safe. She’s already worried we’re moving too fast and maybe we are. But we’ve also known each other for so long that we’re naturally skipping over the getting to know each other phase.
“Do you want me to step out so you can call Jules?” Ford asks.
I shake my head, heading toward the bathroom with my night clothes and toiletries kit. “She’s out with the girls tonight. They went out to a play or something.”
Once I’m ready for bed, Ford goes in. Taking my contacts out at night and putting on my glasses is always such a relief.
“Are you ever going to tell me what’s with you and Sage?” I ask when Ford walks out.
He drops onto his bed and releases a breath, settling in. “Nope.”
“But there is something?”
He turns his head to look at me. “What’s made you so curious?”
“What you said at the bar,” I explain. “You watch her from afar when you think she and no one else is looking.”
Ford sighs, turning to look up at the ceiling again. “It’s ancient history now.” Reaching above him, he turns off the lamp.
I turn over in bed, staring up at the dark ceiling, just like him. “Sometimes, history is written on our bones and we carry it in our marrows. No matter how hard you try, you can’t change what makes you who you are.”