Drew #2
I walk into the dressing room and remove my gloves, dropping them onto the ground. Grabbing Jules by the waist, I lift her up and press her against the wall before slamming my mouth down onto hers. She moans softly, thrusting her hands into my sweaty hair.
I probably smell disgusting. I’ve been around hockey players my whole life so I’ve become desensitized to the smell, but I’m sure it’s there, and worse so in the dressing room.
The kiss is soft and deep, both of us trying to imprint ourselves onto the other’s mind and body. My heart is reacting like I’m seeing her after months rather than two days. Two measly fucking days without seeing her and talking to her and they felt like forever.
“You’re never allowed to not answer my calls and texts from now on,” I growl, pulling back and resting my forehead against her. “I don’t care how much I fucked up and how angry you are, you’re not allowed to ignore me.”
“Well, you’re not allowed to cringe when I tell you I love you,” she counters.
I pull further back from her, in surprise. “I didn’t cringe.”
She barks a laugh. “You looked at me like you couldn’t figure out how I had the audacity to fall in love with you.”
“Clearly, I had no control over my facial features,” I say.
“I can confirm without a single doubt that the only thing I felt when you told me you loved me was surprise and elation. I was in shock and before I could tell you that I loved you too, you were walking away from me and there was a group of tourists between us.”
“Oh,” she says.
I echo the sentiment. Setting her back on her feet, I cup her cheeks and tilt her head back, looking into those beautiful blue eyes that are shining up at me.
“Jules, the only thing I’ve ever wanted is the chance to love you the way you want to be loved.
I want to know the ways in which you love yourself when life feels exhausting, when you’re sitting in the quiet, when you’re sad, when you’re happy.
I want to know the kindness you give yourself.
Tell me how you love yourself so I can love you the same way and more. ”
A tear falls from her eyes and slips down her cheek. I press my lips against her cheek to stem its flow, tasting the salt of her tears.
“Drew, do you remember standing in Gemma’s apartment and promising me you’ll always be scared of me if I promise to always be an iridescent beast?”
I frown at the question, and nod. We were fifteen or sixteen and there was this quote cross-stitched and hanging on their wall across from the front door. It reminded me of Jules.
“You’re my iridescent beast,” I say.
Jules blinks up at me for a few seconds. “Gemma seemed to think we were always going to end up here. Do you think it’s true?”
Her question throws me for a loop and I open my mouth to tell her that I started to fall for her this past summer.
The words don’t come. I think of all the time I’ve spent thinking about Jules, knowing her likes and dislikes, the way she collects stuff, the time I spent curating a collection of her books in my house and not even because she was going to see it.
I remember her at sixteen, standing in my parents backyard watching New Year’s Eve fireworks, her face lighting up with each burst of bright light. I remember thinking how I’d like to kiss her on New Year’s Eve one day.
“You don’t have to answer,” she says. “I only ask because I think we’ve been circling each other for a long time, trying to bury the obvious because it might be too painful or too dangerous. Sometimes these things take time.”
I press a kiss to her forehead. “I’m glad we took our time.”
She squirms against me and I look down at her in question.
“Drew, my parents are suing me and I don’t want it to affect you.
I’m worried, and always have been, that you’ll be stuck with healing my trauma.
It’s why I didn’t want you to buy my photos because I’m scared you think you need to do these things for me,” she says.
“I never wanted to bring my trauma into a relationship and have it overshadow everything else.”
I’ll take care of her parents just like I’m going to take care of everything else for her. She’s not the only one who worries and who can do things behind my back.
I cup her cheeks, tilting her head back.
“We’re in this relationship together, Jules.
Which means I have joint custody of your trauma, just like you have joint custody of Bailey.
If something happens to me, Bailey is yours.
I’m going to help heal you because your trauma is half mine now.
We don’t get to pick and choose what we want from a relationship, so we’re dividing everything. ”
I kiss her forehead, pulling her in against me and holding her close.
I don’t know how much time passes while we’re in the dressing room, but eventually, the team starts flooding in so the game must be over. Jules kisses my cheek and steps outside, while I prepare to apologize my ass off to the guys.
Before I can open my mouth, Reese comes in with the biggest grin on his face and slams his body into mine in a hug, slapping my back.
“Now that is what I call a grand gesture.” He steps back. “Good on you, cap.”
“Proud of you, man.” Roman raises his hand in a high five and I return it.
“Listen, we discussed it and no matter what happens, we’re on your side,” Ford says.
“Sometimes, getting the girl is more important than winning the game,” Kai says with a grin.
“Which we did, in case you want to know,” Holden adds. “Not that anyone cares because all they can talk about you is climbing over the boards to get to your girl.”
Reese throws his arm around my shoulder. “So proud.”
My apology will have to wait for later because all the team can talk about is what I did. And yeah, I’m proud of myself for realizing I love hockey but it’s not the most important thing in my life. That claim belongs to Jules.