Chapter 23 Veda
twenty-three
Veda
At his words, I stumble on my feet, almost falling face-first. Derrick is on me before I have a chance to fall, his chest on my back, his arm around my waist, keeping me steady. There’s no hiding the fact he’s hard again. I feel it in the small of my back.
“How can you be this hard again?” I whisper.
“You’re needy and so am I.” He shrugs and lets me go once he’s sure I won’t fall.
His words get stuck in my head, in a loop that doesn’t make sense with what I learned about men.
He got his fill. He had me squirming over a rock, looking at his cock like it was the most delicious treat I’ve ever seen.
He came all over the woods. He should be happy that I didn’t ask for anything in return.
Instead, he started talking about licking my—
My legs rub together as I walk, providing me with so little relief. There must be something terribly wrong with me because all I want to do is for him to push me down on the ground right now and fuck me until these silly notions about sex evaporate from my brain.
“Am I perfuming?” I decide to whisper, embarrassed.
Derrick’s jaw is taut. “Yes.”
Shit, I knew it.
“Is that what perfuming is?”
“No, it’s more than that. But it’s also that.”
So I can’t hide arousal, which, until today, wasn’t a problem. My breasts are heavy and tingling, and I know it has nothing to do with lactation right now. No.
That’s all me and the church I’m trying to set on fire. The news that I’m leaving a trail of scent around the township is enough to get me practically jogging to the cabin. I hold my midsection and refuse to make eye contact with anyone.
We can hear the raised voices coming from the kitchen the minute we step on the porch. Derrick curses behind me, but I’m not even a little surprised that everyone is just here waiting for my arrival. With courage I had no idea lived in me, I open the door.
Ten sets of eyes look at me.
Major and Jesse are here, alongside their pack of parents. The big, spacious living room looks small, especially because everyone seems to be arguing and trying to talk over each other.
“Hi.” I raise my hand pathetically.
“Veda.” Jesse starts, but I shake my head.
“It’s fine. I’m okay.”
“Please sit, sweetie,” Anne says, pointing at a comfortable armchair, and I want to say I’m okay again, but I’m bone tired at this point. Eyes follow me across the living room, but I do what I’m told. There’s nothing for me to say but to beg to go for a ten-hour-long nap.
“I guess Anne explained what you are,” Jacinta starts.
No hello, no pleasantries, just straight to the Omega thing.
“Yeah, since we arrived, everybody's looking at me like something is going on. I pressured her. It wasn't right. It's not her fault, but—”
I trail off, letting the tiredness in my voice speak louder.
“It’s a lot to take in,” Anne allows with gentleness before turning a narrowed gaze to everyone else. “And that’s why we should give Veda a moment before we throw packs on her.”
Fear trickles down my spine, and I stiffen. “What do you mean?”
“You’re the first Omega this township has seen in many years.” Jacinta’s voice is soft but leaves no room for argument. “We have to alert the packs.”
“What does that even—”
“She doesn’t need to deal with that, Mom!” Jesse starts.
“It’s too early,” Anne agrees.
“It doesn’t change what is right!” Jacinta insists. “We can’t hold back an Omega. It’s simply not right. She has the right to know who is her scent-match.”
“Wow, wow! What does that even mean? You guys are trying to marry me off?”
“No one is marrying you off. That’s not it,” Major says, and his stern voice is an anchor.
Someone tugs my hand, and I look down to find Anne. “It’s okay. Nothing will be done without your permission.”
“Explain to me what you mean about bringing packs in, then.”
“You’re an Omega,” Jacinta says. “It’s only biological that you want to scent-match with a pack.”
I shake my head. “But I don’t.”
“Your body will call for it. What if your heat starts before scent-matching?” She shakes her head. “Believe me, you don’t want that.”
My feelings don’t translate into words. I look down at my lap and keep every single bottle up, secure in a place in my brain where I can access them later when everything doesn’t feel this difficult.
“Veda is tired,” Derrick says, and my eyes lift to find him. “Why don’t we just give her a moment to take a breath?”
“I agree,” Anne says, already on her feet as if the meeting is over.
Jacinta's eyes find mine; they are just as intense as her son's. I find myself captured, breathing frozen in my lungs.
“I’m not saying this to pressure you, Veda, but the word is out.
Everyone in this township has a child who never got to experience matehood, and your existence itself is a miracle.
More than that, you deserve happiness too.
You’re an Omega, and it looks like you’ve been through a lot. We aren’t built well for that.”
The words make me pause. I frown and glance at Anne, wondering if she told the others, but she shakes her head quickly. Ok, so she didn’t tell anyone about the baby. My shoulders relax.
“Can I just have tonight? Please?”
My voice is small, pathetic, and I wince when the words are out of my mouth. I hate sounding this small. Everyone nods, and no one comments on my weakness, and for that I’m grateful. This time, I’m the one who stands up, and Anne is on my heels. She waves off everyone and keeps me with her.
“I’m going to show the room to Veda, the girl needs rest now.”
She’s strong for a small woman, and I find myself smiling. I like that. She brings me down a small hall at the back of the cabin, almost to the very end, and opens a door to reveal a guest room.
“Please make yourself comfortable.”
I step in, and the bed is calling for me. It’s not even late, but it feels like I have lived three lives since I left the ranch.
“I’m bringing you food, and you have to eat it all.” She wags her finger before I can protest. “I’m making you something appropriate for—”
She waves as if that’s enough explanation. My situation? My new discovery? I don’t know, but I smile to say my thanks. If she wants to feed me, well, I’d love to be fed.
While she leaves to cook, I have a shower and change my clothes. Thankfully, the boys made sure my small bag was here waiting for me, and after I’m clean, I feel a little better.
Anne arrives some time later with a big plate of salmon and lentils, alongside a collection of nuts that she insists that I finish each one. She explains to me the fatty foods and the importance of each element on the plate, but I just devour everything because she’s a good cook.
It doesn’t take long for me to fall asleep. I’m tired and confused, but I’m also full and comfortable. Thank god. I thought this day would never end.
Mirasol’s cries are louder than anything I’ve ever heard. I know deep in my bones she’s in trouble, and it’s on me to take her home. This time, I won’t let Grandpa take her. I won’t let anything stand in the way of keeping my child.
I run, but my steps are sluggish, my legs weigh a ton, and I cannot move fast enough. Mirasol shrieks, and at every cry she triggers mine, desperation taking over.
“Mirasol!” I call for her, unafraid this time.
That’s her name, and I'll call her name until the end of time. Everything I did was wrong, every single mindless yes, but now it’s different. I’m stronger, I know I am. I feel it in me. I understand now that I was only fed lies from birth, and it's time for me to wake up.
“Mirasol! Mirasol!”
Hot tears stream down my cheeks, and the pain I've been feeling takes on a new level. My legs are still too heavy. My arms reach for her, but she’s not around. All I do is hear her crying. She’s suffering so much! Grandpa told me this was the best, but it doesn’t feel like that…
“Mirasol!”
“Veda! Veda!”
I wake up in a warm embrace, my eyes take time to adjust, and for a long moment, I’m not sure where I am. Pieces start to form in front of my eyes, and someone shifts at the edge of my vision. Major. To his side is Derrick. Both of them hover around the bed, eyes on me at all times.
“It’s okay, sweetheart, you’re safe.”
The voice brings goose bumps down my arms, and I relax. It’s Jesse’s voice. I realize I’m crying. I’m so tired of crying, but the tears keep flowing. They feel eternal, as if there’s no me without the sadness weighing me down and the tears soaking my pajamas.
“Who is Mirasol?” Major asks.
Jesse lets me go, and I rest my back on the headboard. My two lives collide, and I suck in a breath, rubbing a spot by my heart, where I miss her the most. What’s the point of lying?
“My daughter.”
They look at each other, talking among themselves without words, and I feel like the outsider I am. When their gaze is back to me, it’s soft, not full of pity like I expected. Just… warm.
“We didn’t know you have a daughter,” Jesse says.
“Had. That’s the big thing I did to piss Grandpa off. I got myself pregnant, so he shipped me to a ranch. ”
Major winces, and I almost feel bad for him. He didn’t know. He thought he was treating me like a normal ranch hand, but nothing in this situation is normal.
“Where’s Mirasol?” Derrick asks.
I guess I was screaming her name. My heart speeds up when I hear her name from his lips. I jerk and sit up straight, almost asking him to say it again.
Call her name, come on, say it.
All this time, Mirasol felt like a hallucination. Something I shouldn’t be thinking about, a lie I told myself. In a second, the spell is broken. She’s not a figure of my imagination anymore. She’s my daughter. My little baby that he took from me.
“He took her.”
“St. James?” Major asks, and I can recognize a menacing tone a mile away. But this is not aimed at me. It’s for me.
“He said I wasn’t going to make a good mother and insisted I give her up for adoption. I agreed.”
The sound he makes is not human. There’s something monstrous about the way his jaw ticks, his whole body vibrating with tension.
The excuses I gave my grandpa are on the tip of my tongue, but this time, I don’t repeat the lies.
I let his actions speak for him. It’s not my job to make him look like a good guy when he doesn’t bother to act like one.
“He took your child and sent you away?” Derrick sums up.
Oh yes, that’s exactly it. I nod.
The temperature in the room goes up a notch.
Rage rolls off them like steam, and my own sadness finally morphs into something more.
Anger. Certainty is now louder than the lies I was fed from an early age.
How could I let him manipulate me like that?
I deserve better. My whole life, I deserved so much better than what he had to offer.
Grandpa’s cruelties left me broken beyond repair at Wilde Ranch. I was a ghost of myself, and I bet he thought he broke me for real now. If I wasn’t strong enough to fight for my daughter, I’m never going to be a problem again, right?
Wrong.
He broke me, yes, but I’m building myself up from sturdier stuff. For the first time in my life, I see the villain who raised me for who he is. I see it all so very clearly, and I reject every single lie he spilled.
“I want my daughter back.”
The moment the words are out of my mouth, I know this is the most important truth in my life.
Grandpa manipulated me when I was in my most vulnerable state.
He used the absence of my mother to make sure I would do whatever he wanted, and he knew it would work as long as he poisoned me enough.
I’m ashamed of falling for everything he said, but I won’t waste my time feeling sorry for myself. I have a daughter to fight for.
My eyes flick from Derrick to Jesse and land on Major. I’ll do anything to get my daughter back, and I know I can do it alone, but I really want to have them by my side. I hold my breath, the unspoken question hangs between us until Major nods.
“Then we’re getting Mirasol back.”