Chapter 28 Veda
twenty-eight
Veda
The three sets of eyes burn behind my neck, yet I ignore them and continue feeding the chickens. They are on some kind of apology tour and don’t want me to do any of my regular chores, but I enjoy this. I’ll gladly skip the shoveling poop side of things, but I miss Margella.
“See, Margs, it’s best for you gals to have just one cock around.” I smirk over my shoulder. “Three is too much trouble.”
Jesse laughs, Derrick shakes his head, but all Major does is to burn me with his gaze. Since our encounter at his office, I've been determined to see that man break. It’s not fair, really, but I can’t help myself.
I thought he hated me, but he’s out there keeping all his feelings to himself. Not even he can burst the giddy bubble inside me.
They continue watching me while I feed the chickens, but when I attempt to move the pellets, they all jump into it and try to stop me. I roll my eyes. If I were doing this before, it’s more than okay right now.
Once every chicken is fed and cuddled, Major finally lets out a breath. “Let’s go inside now.”
“Oh no, I want to see Storm.”
He takes his hat off and scratches his head, a caricature of a grumpy cowboy.
“Who the hell is Storm?”
“Oh, that’s the wild horse you have in the pen.” I smile as I make my way out of the chicken coop to join them.
“You shouldn’t name her. I might have to let her go if she doesn’t want to stay.”
I try not to wince. It’s not his fault that he's touching in such a sore spot for me. Instead, I lift a shoulder and start making my way to the pen. “She’s named now. Can’t do anything about it.”
“Go back, Major,” Derrick interrupts. “I can bring her to Storm.”
Major narrows his eyes at his brother, a silent conversation going on between them.
I school my expression to look innocent, since I shouldn’t know what that’s about, even though I do.
Major wants Derrick to tame Storm. Derrick refuses to ride a horse.
Brothers can’t see eye to eye. It’s a whole thing that could be done if everyone just went to therapy. Actually, we should all go.
“So that leaves me shoveling shit,” Jesse says.
“Better you than me.” I smile brightly at him.
They don’t mind the ranch work, Jesse told me that before. I even started liking it. It’s hard work, and you definitely need an early start, but there’s something about taking care of your land that fulfills my soul. The moment the thought arrives, sadness hits me in the chest.
I’ll be gone soon.
And maybe I’ll scent-match to a pack that lives in a skyscraper somewhere. No chickens. No wild horses.
“What are you thinking?” Derrick asks as we make our way to Storm.
“Nothing!” I deflect. “Why?”
“Your scent is like… sour candy.”
“Oh no.” I jump away from him. “Now you can smell me when I’m upset, too?”
He frowns. “Why are you upset?”
Oops.
“Don’t worry about that. Explain your sensitive nose.”
He narrows his eyes. My deflection is clear, but he allows it. “Now that you’re getting stronger, it shows a little more. You always smell delicious, don’t get me wrong, but I can tell the difference. You still smell like sugar… just sour too.”
“Well, try not to smell me so good.” I push my nose up and walk a few steps ahead of him.
“Tell me why you’re upset.”
“It’s silly.”
“I don’t mind.”
I turn around and walk backward, watching him just as intensely as he’s watching me. He’s not going to give up, so I shrug and turn back around. It’s best if I don’t look at him as I say it.
“I’m going to miss the ranch.” His silence is enough for me to keep talking.
“When I scent-match with a bunch of strangers, and they whisk me away to their skyscraper.” I look at him over my shoulder for just a second.
“That’s what I imagine, at least. There are no guarantees they will be ranchers.
And even if they are… Am I even going to love their ranch as I love it here? ”
We arrive at the Golden Acre just as the words are out of my mouth. The tall sunflowers are fully facing the sun, basking in it all. I sigh, trying not to get emotional about how much I truly love this land.
“You don’t need to worry about those things, darlin’,” Derrick finally reaches me.
“Don’t I?”
Stupid hope blossoms in my chest. I remind myself that they won’t keep me. It was pretty obvious that a scent-match is the most important thing around here. They want me paired with my soulmates, but what if I want to choose for myself?
“You’re going to love your scent-match pack,” he says, crushing my dreams. “It’s biological.”
“Well, I might like my choice better.”
Derrick takes a sharp intake of air, and his voice goes slightly lower, darker.
“And what’s your choice, Veda?”
He comes closer, and I wonder if he's even conscious of what he’s doing. I crane my neck up and watch those beautiful blue eyes sparkling bright under the rim of his cowboy hat.
“What is the point of torturing us all?” I ask, barely breathing.
Derrick groans and dips his head down until he kisses me. I’m so surprised, I stumble into his arms, but he holds me close, devouring my mouth in a hunger like no other.
I sigh and melt into the kiss. I’m not going to fight the feelings growing in my chest. I like the three cowboys, and I wish they were mine. There. I said it.
Derrick’s tongue searches mine as he deepens the kiss. His hand cradles my head, sinking his fingers into my curls. My hands grip the material of his shirt as if I have to have him closer, just a little closer.
But the kiss ends too quickly.
He steps away, and I hate to see the sadness in his eyes. My palm covers his cheek, begging for more of his skin on mine.
“Can’t we just enjoy it while it lasts?”
He swallows and nods. My smile is sad too. I don’t like to know I have less than a month with them, and if what they tell me is right, I’ll be happy to leave. It just doesn’t make sense to me right now.
“Let’s go check on Storm.” He tugs my arm in the pen’s direction.
Even from afar, Storm watches us with her black eyes. The moment we approach, she blows and shakes her head in an obvious challenge, wanting more than what she’s being given. But as we arrive at the fence, she turns her back, refusing to engage.
“Tell me why it is so important to tame her.” I put my foot in the first wood of the fence and bring myself up until I’m leaning over and watching Storm.
Derrick grunts as I move, but he doesn’t stop me. Instead, I feel his hand coming to the small of my back to keep me steady.
“It’s more of a safety reason. We want her to be comfortable enough around people so we can get the vet to check on her. She was very skinny when we got her. She’s looking better now, but we won’t be able to feed her unless she stays, and right now, she doesn’t want anything to do with us.”
I sigh, watching Storm for a couple of minutes before turning to him. “But you can do it.”
It’s not a question. I know he can. I heard enough from Major himself and now from his mother to understand this about Derrick. He can do this. It’s part of who he is.
“Major is skilled enough.”
I hop off the fence, crossing my arms in front of my chest and eyeing him up and down. I’m more than a goddamn foot shorter than him, but he has the decency to wince under my stare. He shakes his head, scratching the scar on his hand absently.
It’s always a reminder, I notice. Always something in the back of his mind.
“Major can’t do it. Storm’s health is in your hands.”
“My mangled hands.”
Biting my lip, I reach for the hand he tries to hide from me. Surprisingly, he lets me take it, and I have the opportunity to really look at the scars for the first time.
His middle finger and index finger suffered the most. They have big, aggressive scars that still don’t go completely flat.
Slicing across his palm is a huge, massive scar.
The surgeries erased most of his palm lines, the skin stretched to its limits.
I trace the scar with my finger, feeling somewhat powerful when he shivers.
“No one can read your palm anymore. What a mysterious man you are.”
Derrick chuckles. “I’ve never gotten that reaction before.”
“And what kind of reaction do you get?”
He shrugs and takes his hand away. “Pity.”
I scoff. “You’re a hot cowboy. I’m not pitying you.”
The compliment makes him happy. I watch as his face morphs into something warm. I’m greedy, and I want more than just his smile. I want him to let it go, too. If I’m going to lose him, I want to leave him feeling a little better. I want to know he’s good and thriving.
“The past sucks, but it’s gone. That’s what I tell myself every day, because if I don’t, I get paralyzed, thinking it’s my fault that Mirasol isn't here with me. I should have fought more. I should have just left Grandpa’s house years ago—”
“Veda, no…”
“I’m only saying this because I want you to do it like me. Curse the past, but fucking move on.”
I don’t curse much, and when I do, I end up blushing. This time is no different, and Derrick sees it. His mouth curls with a lazy smile.
“Fucking move on?” He arches an eyebrow.
“Yeah, let’s fucking move on.”