Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
MILLIE
Looking out my window, I wonder if I should go ahead and leave town now. I can feel the impending doom. It’s getting bigger, or at least more consuming. Maybe he’s getting closer, and my body can just feel it, or maybe it’s because I had sex with Axton.
Damn, that was great.
It left me wanting so much more. Beyond more.
And I know that is the last thing that should be on my mind—more with Axton. But it’s there, front and center. Nothing could make me forget about what we did, and at the same time, nothing could make me hate it or feel bad about it.
Then there was the visit from Daisy.
I’m still not sure how I feel about any of that. I don’t know if I should be angry or okay with the way it went. I wasn’t lying to her when I essentially told her it was all water under the bridge, but that doesn’t mean I can stop thinking about all the what-ifs that could have been.
Eighteen-year-old me would have come back had I thought that Axton missed me. Had I thought he wanted me even a little bit. But hearing her say that he was already fucking other women, that he had fucked her, that she was sleeping in his bed night after night, it stung.
It was hurtful even if it was the truth, and she knew it, which is why she said it to me. It wounded my pride, and I knew I couldn’t come back. I knew I wouldn’t be able to see any of that. Not with the way I loved him. I would have died if I had seen him touch anyone else.
As it was, when he said he couldn’t commit to me, when he said there had been others, it hurt me so deeply that I couldn’t even be in the same state as him.
I had to run, and then I was afraid that if I failed and went back, I would have to see that, would have to see him with others, and I just couldn’t bear it.
I couldn’t bear it at all, seeing him with another woman. It’s bad enough that I’ve imagined it every night for the past decade. Even if I tried to push it out of my head, I would be lying to myself if I said I never thought about him.
I thought about Axton every day at least once, and the thoughts would travel when I was home alone. They would travel to him. And as much as I would want them to travel to the good times, they didn’t, not ever.
It was always me imagining him with clubwhores. With Daisy. The image is perfectly clear inside my head. I hate it. I wish I could swipe it away—punch it away or something. Turning away from the window, I make my way over to the kitchen.
I should eat something before I go to work.
I tug the fridge open and glide my gaze over the contents. There is nothing that excites me. None of it is appealing. The fruit doesn’t even whet my appetite.
It seems boring.
Closing the fridge, I make my way back to the bedroom to shower and pack my bag for the day. I’m on the schedule every single day. I’m not sure when I’ll get a day off again. I should like that because it keeps me busy, but at the same time, it doesn’t change anything.
When I close my eyes at night, I am still madly in love with that man. When I wake up, when I dance, no matter my exhaustion, Axton is and will always be right there, swimming somewhere in my brain, in my thoughts.
As the water warms up, I think about how Axton made me feel.
It was better than I could have ever imagined, and I’d imagined it a lot over the years.
I came here in case I needed him. Well, I told myself it was the Vicious Reapers, but really, it was for him.
Because deep down, I’ve always known that Axton would protect me.
Once I’m showered, I figure out my outfit for work and pack my bag before I head out of the apartment and toward my car. Climbing inside, I grip the steering wheel, but I don’t start the engine or put it in Reverse.
I pinch my eyes closed and breathe.
I’m tired.
So damn tired, but I think it’s time for me to run again.
Opening my eyes, I start the engine, shift the car into Reverse, and decide to get my shit together. Even if I leave, it won’t be today. I have work to do, men to dance for, making them think I’m half in love with them when I do said dancing.
Pulling into the parking lot, I guide my car into my regular spot, but I don’t make a move to get out. I’m not sure if I want to at this point. I am tempted to just leave right now. Run far, far away.
So far.
A knock on my window startles me, and I look over to see Anna. I touch the button to roll down my window. Anna tilts her head slightly, looking over her glasses at me, then smiles.
“Some days it feels like that. You need a day off, babe. Let’s look at the schedule. Come inside.”
Without waiting for a response from me, she spins around on her toes and walks away, straight for the front door. I watch her go, watch her open the door and slip inside without a backward glance. And I don’t move while it all plays out. I watch.
She’s right. I need a day off. Maybe that would get my head on straight. I’ve been so busy worrying about the men after me, about Axton, and then about us having sex, I can’t get everything wrapped up and compartmentalized right now.
It’s too much all at once.
That’s the problem.
PIGGY
Dante Barone.
The name plays on a loop inside my head. Over and over again. There is just something about him. About his gun, his clothes, his car. It’s not adding up as to why he’d be here in Thunder Rock.
After finishing my shift, I drove around a bit looking for that Lexus again, but couldn’t find it. I’m not sure where he was going, but unless he’s staying at someone’s house, he isn’t anywhere in Thunder Rock.
As I walk into my shitbox house, I look around and shake my head a couple of times. This is such a piece of shit, but it’s my piece of shit, I guess. Once I’ve taken my uniform off and showered, I decide to make a phone call because I can’t get that guy’s name out of my head.
“You good?” the voice on the other end of the line asks.
“I’m good,” I confirm. “Got a question.”
“Might have an answer,” he murmurs.
I chuckle, clearing my throat before I continue. “Guy came barreling through town in a tricked-out Lexus. Suit was expensive. Nevada plates. Never seen him before. Name was Dante Barone. You heard of him?”
There is a moment of silence before Shocker clears his throat. “Nevada?” he asks.
“Nevada,” I confirm.
“Barone sounds familiar, but not Dante. Maybe his dad? Mobster kinda guy. We used to go to Vegas sometimes, do a little gambling, hang out with one of the charters over there. Haven’t been in years, but we ran around a bit back in the seventies.” He chuckles before he has a slight coughing fit.
“Millie was in Vegas,” I murmur.
“Yeah?”
I have no doubt whatsoever that Shocker knows Millie is back in town. I’m sure everyone does by now. But I humor him nonetheless.
“Dancing there. Had a good life. But she’s back in North Carolina, and I’ve got not the first clue as to why. Except seeing those Nevada plates, hearing that name, it made my cop brain tingle.”
“So you’ve done a bit of digging.”
I don’t tell him that I haven’t just done a bit of digging. I’ve memorized her every move in the past decade, at least anything she’s done that can be traced. Millie wasn’t just someone who got away from me. She was the one who got away.
“All these questions, you gonna do something with the information?” Shocker asks.
“Do something?”
He hums. “Do something. You’re collecting evidence and information, but what good’s it to know any of this shit if you don’t do nothing?”
He’s right. I know he is, even if it’s annoying as fuck. I don’t want him to be right about this, and I hate that just because he’s the oldest one still active in the club, he thinks he’s the elder who has to give us advice all the damn time.
And the fucker of it is, his advice is solid, so you can’t even ignore it.
“I’m going to do something. I’m just not sure what yet.”
“Good. I’ve always liked Millie. Thought she was a cute kid.”
I almost tell him that he should see her now, but decide against it. Because the perverted old fuck would do just that, and then I’d have to hear about how hot she is. And I have plans to make her my old lady, so that would just piss me off.
“I always liked her, too, Shocker.”
“Let me call a couple of old fuckers, see what I can dig up on the name Barone. I’ll let you know what I find. Get some sleep.”
He can tell I’m tired, and I am. Exhausted even. I don’t think my mind has quieted down for even a minute since I fucked Millie. Being inside her felt like the hit of a drug that I didn’t know I needed, and now it’s all I want.
I’m addicted to her.
It only took once.
One hit of that woman, and I am done for.