Chapter Nine
Letty
Eating with Walker and the others is…interesting.
They don't talk much until their plates are empty.
They're too busy shoveling in food like they're never going to eat again.
It's equal parts impressive and terrifying just how much they eat.
But once they finally finish, they settle back with groans, teasing one another.
Apparently, Blaze got kicked by a horse today.
"It kicked you?" I ask, gaping at him.
Bishop just chuckles at the look on my face. "Raise your hand if you've ever wanted to kick the shit out of Blaze," he calls, his voice booming across the mess hall.
"Fuck you all very much!" Blaze shouts when every hand in the room goes up so fast my head spins. He's laughing, though, so I don't think he's offended. "The horse is a bastard. He personally targets me."
"Motherfucker, you started it when you tried to ride him naked," Wade mutters. "He remembers the humiliation. He's never forgiving you for that shit."
"Ignore them, Sunshine," Walker whispers in my ear, his fingers drifting through the ends of my hair. "They're always like this."
"I'm getting that." I peek up at him. "Um…do you ride horses naked?"
His lips twitch. "Is this your way of asking if you can watch the show?"
"Gross. No. Just curious."
"No," he says with a chuckle that hits me low in the belly. "I can't say I've ever jumped on a horse bare-ass naked."
"That's a damn lie!" Wade says, smacking his hand down on the table. "What about that time the bear got into the east field?"
"Or when we thought there was a mountain lion after that pregnant heifer?" Bishop asks.
"Or that time you drank too much Fireball and swore you were a more aerodynamic cowboy with your dick out?" Blaze says, mischief in his gaze.
Walker scowls at all three of them like he wants to murder them, which makes me laugh.
"So…what I'm hearing is that he's full of shit," I say.
"Damn right he is," Wade says. "Staring with this eunuch bullshit."
My lips twitch at the disgruntled look on Wade's face. "It's okay. I knew he was talking about himself when he said that. He just hasn't come to terms with his body yet."
Wade, Blaze, and Bishop howl with laughter.
Walker turns those steely eyes on me, his lips quirking into a grin. "You tryin' to get yourself into trouble, Sunshine?"
"No…just looking for blackmail to use against you." I bat my lashes at him. "I'm sure it'll come in handy next time you start talking nonsense. You tend to do that, you know."
He growls, leaning over to press his lips against mine in a hard kiss.
Blaze wolf-whistles, and I freeze, my heart jolting against my ribcage.
Walker just kissed me in front of everyone. Everyone just saw his lips on mine.
I jolt up from the table, pretty sure my face is bright red. "Um, I need to go…start cleaning," I squeak.
"Letty—" Walker starts, but I don't give him time to finish before I snatch my plate up and scurry away like my life depends on it.
The whole way to the kitchen, it feels like everyone is staring at me, but I'm too damn nervous to look. What if someone tells Tanner or one of his brothers that Walker kissed me? What if they fire me?
"Breathe," I remind myself when I'm alone, sucking in a deep breath.
"You can handle this." It takes a minute for panic to recede and rationality to flow in.
I can handle this. I'm a grown-ass woman.
I can date—or not date—whoever I want. Tanner and his brothers probably won't fire me for it.
I mean, they let Flint's wife move in with him before they were married.
Abel's son lives here with him. It doesn't have to be a big deal.
It feels monumental, though. Mostly because, no matter how hard I try to resist Walker, I can't seem to do it.
Little by little, I'm falling for him. I have been since he put himself in danger to save my life, maybe even before that—when he let me enhance his food and still cleaned his plate without a single complaint.
I gather up dishes and then run water, pouring myself into cleaning.
He kisses me, and I melt. He touches me, and I want to climb him.
I'm slowly losing my mind for him, but I'm so damn scared that this could end badly.
He's a fundamental part of what they do here, with a hand in everything.
All I do is cook. If this ends badly, I'll be the one without a job or a place to live.
"Maybe it's worth the risk," I whisper to myself, wiping down counters.
Aren't all the best things in life worth a little risk and a little worry? I don't want to be the girl who hides from the greatest parts of life because she's afraid to rock the boat. It feels like maybe Walker could be one of those things.
I slip out into the mess hall to gather up the rest of the dishes, my heart sinking a little when I realize that he's no longer at the table. The whole place has cleared out.
But just like every other night, the tables are all cleaned off, the chairs tucked in.
The floor has been swept, and the remaining dishes are stacked neatly, waiting for me.
I know that's Walker's doing—that he makes sure the hands clean up after themselves before they leave, instead of leaving a big mess for me.
I carry everything back to the kitchen in loads, wash what I can't fit into the dishwasher, and finish wiping everything down. By the time I'm done, the kitchen is spotless, and I've thought myself into circles. Walker still hasn't shown up to walk me across to my place.
I sigh heavily and slip out the door.
Walker's leaning against the side of the building with his hat in his hands.
"Hey," I whisper, staring over at him. Even in the semi-darkness, he's so damn beautiful, like a tree that put down roots in the roughest terrain and refuses to bend.
The wear and tear is written across every inch of his big body, but so is his strength.
"I thought maybe you decided not to walk me home tonight. "
He looks surprised that I'd even think it.
"I was giving you space, Sunshine," he rumbles, pushing away from the wall.
"Knew if I stepped foot in that kitchen, I'd find nine different reasons to put my hands all over your perfect body.
I figured you needed time to think more than you needed me in your space. "
"I…I did," I whisper.
"People knowin' about us makes you nervous."
"Yes." I lick my lips. "My dad died when I was twenty.
By then, my oldest brother was in the military, and the youngest was in prison.
It's just been me for the last five years, so it's been a long time since I've had anywhere that felt like home, Walker.
This place is starting to feel like maybe it could be that for me.
I worry… Well, I guess I worry that you'll change your mind, and one of us will have to go. "
He stops in front of me, his face steeped in shadow. His eyes run across my face, trying to read me. "You think I'd ask you to leave?"
"No. It's not that. It's…" I trail off, trying to find the words.
The truth is right there, waiting to be spoken.
Part of me wants to run from it, to cram it into a little box and pretend it's not screaming at me.
But I can't do that, not when it's this important.
"I feel like I might be falling for you," I whisper, my voice shaking.
"And I don't know how we both exist on the same ranch if we do this and it doesn't work out.
You don't feel like someone I can…fall for… and then let go of."
"Jesus," he rasps, rocking back on his heels.
"I know it's way too soon, and you probably think I'm insane for even thinking it. I'm not trying to get you to say you feel the same or anything like that. I just ne—"
"Yeah, fuck all that," he growls, hooking an arm around my waist to haul me up against his chest. His lips come down on mine in a scorching kiss, one hand in my hair to angle my head just right. I have no idea where his hat went. Right now, I don't care.
I whimper, clinging to him as his need vibrates through me like a damn gong, shaking loose the same desperation I felt this morning when he had me pinned to my front door.
"I'm wild about you, Letty," he rasps against my mouth.
"Told Tanner as soon as I saw you that you were my future.
There won't be any need for you to learn to live without me because that shit isn't happening.
" He boosts me up, hauling my legs around his waist. "We're happening, Sunshine. This is happening."
"Walker," I practically sob, thrusting my hands into his hair. It's so soft, and so much longer than I realized. I tug at the strands, pulling him closer.
He groans against my lips before biting me. "Keep that up, and I'll be fucking you in the grass, Letty baby."
"Home," I manage to gasp, rocking my hips against his so the hard ridge of his erection rides against my clit. "Take me home."
He kisses me again, like he needs my taste to survive, and then stumbles away from the mess hall. I don't see a single thing as he carries me across the yard and up the steps to my front door. I barely even notice when he hauls it open and carries me over the threshold.
"Bedroom," he growls, already dragging my t-shirt up over my head.
"Left."
That's all the instruction he needs. His lips don't leave mine as he stumbles down the hall into my bedroom.
My back hits the wall as he pins me, searching for the light switch.
Even after he finds it, sending light spilling into the room, he doesn't let me up.
He just keeps kissing me, his rough hands running all over my body.
"Christ, Sunshine," he groans, his mouth following the same trail his hands just blazed. "You're so fuckin' soft. I'm going to eat you alive."
I'm not going to stop him. Not a single part of me wants to slow him down or tell him no as he tugs my bra off, leaving me bare from the waist up.