Chapter Twenty-One
TWENTY-ONE
Annie
“What you can get us,” I say, “is the item you stole from someone’s porch yesterday morning.”
The woman (Lylah, according to her name tag) begins writing that down on her order pad, then realizes what I’ve said and stops abruptly. “Huh? Sorry, I don’t know what you’re—”
“Don’t bother denying it,” Cal says. “We have you on camera taking it and putting it into your yellow Beetle, which we saw parked outside this diner. A little tip: Next time you commit a crime, maybe choose a less distinctive getaway car.”
“But I thought it was there because someone wanted me to take it,” she says. “Like, people put stuff out for free sometimes?”
“Yeah, on a curb, with a sign. Do you also just go up to people’s front doors and take their welcome mats?” I ask.
“Um, no. What would I want a used welcome mat for? I live in an apartment.”
Cal and I glance at each other, agreeing wordlessly that we aren’t exactly dealing with a criminal mastermind here. Which makes this easier…I think?
“Well, what did you want a dead goose for?” I ask incredulously.
“It’s kinda embarrassing.” Lylah goes silent, glancing around to see who’s listening. “I was trying to impress someone.”
“Impress someone. With a dead goose,” Cal repeats.
Lylah slides into the booth beside me, smelling like cotton candy body spray and clove cigarettes.
She plops her elbows on the aged laminate table.
“Look, I’ve only been working here two months, and I’ve made a couple little mistakes.
Broken plates, wrong orders. I’m pretty sure the owner, Shannon, doesn’t like me very much.
But I really want her to. I think she’s…
” She sighs dreamily as she trails off. “Shannon is so beautiful and badass and smart and just amazing. I would do anything if it meant she thinks I’m even one of those things, you know?
So, like, when I saw that bird sitting there on the porch I thought, That’s so Shannon.
She loves weird shit. And it would go so good here, in the diner.
I didn’t really think much further than that.
I just took it.” She looks down at her chipped neon green nail polish.
“But, um…it was another fuckup on my part, I guess, because she didn’t like it at all.
She said it was ‘freaky’ and that it ‘isn’t even a duck.
’ ” Lylah uses exaggerated finger movements to emphasize the direct quotes.
“Which, like, how was I supposed to know that? I’m not an animalologist! ”
“Few are,” Cal deadpans.
“So Shannon told me to take it back to wherever I got it because there was ‘no way in hell’ it was staying at the diner.” Finger quotes again.
We left Gustav with our contact info; surely he would have told us if it had been returned to his house, considering he didn’t seem particularly eager to wind up with the goose either. “But you didn’t return it,” I say.
“I’m going to! I swear. It’s just that…”
“Just that what?” I ask. Cal closes his eyes as we wait for the inevitable confession that Lylah has somehow lost or damaged the bird.
“Well, my roommate wanted to borrow it for a bit. And I didn’t see the harm in it, so I told them it was fine.”
Cal massages his temples and mutters under his breath, “How is this a real-life conversation I am having right now?”
As much as I understand his frustration, I try to remain focused on figuring out what in the world is going on. “Why would your roommate want to borrow it?”
“Because El is a burlesque dancer,” Lylah says with the intonation that implies this should be entirely obvious.
“Their troupe or whatever it’s called is doing this Mother Goose–themed show this weekend.
They want to use it as a prop. But I promise I’m gonna take it back to that porch right after they’re done with it.
” She pauses, then says as if to herself, “If, um, I can remember which house it is.”
“We’ll save you the trouble. Where can we find your roommate?” Cal asks without trying to hide his exasperation.
Not that Lylah seems to notice. “I think they’re out with friends until late tonight? But I don’t know where.”
“Do you know where we can find them tomorrow?”
“They work at a school,” she says. “But I don’t know which one.
I don’t actually know El that well. I just moved in a few weeks ago.
” Lylah pauses. “Oh, but, like, I bet you could definitely find them at the Mother Goose performance. And that’s convenient, right, since you can just get your bird back after the show? ”
“I suppose you don’t know where the show is being held, or when?” I rest my chin on my fist, suddenly very tired.
Lylah thinks for a moment, then slowly says, “Somewhere in the city…later this week?”
“Right. Well. Thanks for all of your very valuable help,” Cal says.
“Oh. You’re welcome,” Lylah says cheerily, the sarcasm flying right over her head. She slides out of the booth. “So do you want anything to eat or…?”
Finding the goose is dependent upon tracking down El at their burlesque performance, which isn’t going to happen tonight.
We could head back to Hampden, me back to Harold’s house and Cal back to his apartment.
But despite my insistence that we not continue our physical relationship, I’m not eager to leave.
I’ve still grown to enjoy spending time together, even if it won’t have a sexual or goose-related outcome.
And maybe Cal feels the same way, because he gives me a small smile when I order a burger and chocolate shake before Lylah leaves us, like he’s also relieved our night isn’t over yet.