Chapter 37
My fingers run through her hair as she lays on my lap. Small snores leaving her lips. She hasn't slept in weeks so i'm keeping my movement to a minimum, as to not wake her up. Today is Lark's funeral, she needs all the sleep she can get.
Lark's death took a toll on all of us, but it hit Cecily the most which is understandable.
Every time Cecily closes her eyes she goes back to it, to watching her sister die in front of her.
She's barely eaten, barely slept, nor has she spoken to any of us really, and to make it worse she's even more emotional due to 'lady problems'.
I sigh as i stare down at the Care bear she bought, something to remind her of the young girl.
This is my fault. I should've just stayed away, I should've stayed out of there life, and i shouldn't have lost control at the ball, i shouldn't have separated us, if we weren't so vulnerable, Lark might still be here.
I don't even realize i'm crying until i feel her delicate hand wipe the tear.
"I'm sorry i woke you." I whisper causing her to sigh with a small smile.
"It's not your fault you know." I can't hide the shock that covers my features.
Small tears fall down her face as she lets out a small laugh "I'm learning this werewolf voodoo. "
"She would've been here if it weren't for me.
" I whisper, I know it's not my place to cry, Cecily lost her blood, but Lark was like my family too.
"If i hadn't of just lost control, we would've been fine and she wouldn't have been looking for us, we would've been together.
" It's why she was there. She told Gareth she was gonna look for us, for me.
"Cassius," Cecily whispers, "It's not your fault.
No matter what we did they would've taken her, it's my fault for not trying harder.
" She whispers causing me to shake my head.
"Tesoro, you were restrained by a man twice your size with the addition of being a rogue, you did all you could.
" I attempt to comfort her but her next words leave me frozen.
"It should've been me." She whispers, "It should've been me. I'm the one they wanted, Lark was just a bonus. It should've been me." I sigh as i shake my head and pull her small shaking frame into me. "Don't say that. I couldn't bare to lose you."
"I cant bare to lose her." I kiss her head "I know, but you need to be strong, Lark hated you being upset, she would've wanted you to smile." Cecily nods as she sits back up.
"She's in a good place, Cecily, don't forget that, don't lose your faith." She nods as she pulls me in for a hug, "I love you. Thank you, for being there, for arranging this, for just loving me, loving us." She caresses the bear gently causing my lips to turn up slightly,
"I love you so fucking much, Tesoro. You're my lifeline, You'll get through this, We'll get through this." She nods before leaning back into me, my chin on her head as we just sit in silence, remembering the young girl. She went to soon, she had a whole life ahead of her.
The fuckers scattered when she fell and all of us were to shocked to go after them, what i would give to have my hands around their throat, they are going to pay for what they did to her.
"Tesoro, we should get ready, it's starting soon.
" She nods tiredly as she sits from her position, she's not left the house since it happened, the pack has grown worried about their luna but i attempted to keep them calm.
Cecily doesn't say a word as she walks towards the closet quietly, shutting the door behind her. I don't know if she will ever get past this. I don't know if she will ever be okay, but i'm going to try, i'm going to try and make her smile, make her happy.
I too stand, grabbing the dress suit and tie, pulling it on as i hear Cecily moving around in the closet.
My eyes find her as she finally exits, she's wearing a modest black shoulder less dress.
That's all i know about it. I'm not good with women's clothes.
Her red puffy eyes stare up at me as she approaches.
"She at peace now, right? If she was still here she would be in pain, so she's better where she is, right? " I sigh as i pull her into me.
"Yes," It's all i say as i just stand there with her in my arms. I hear the door open and look up to see i miei genitori. Di mia madre face is covered in tears and even mio padre looks distraught.
"We're ready to start," mia madre whispers, causing me to nod as i pull away from my mate, i place the pad of my thumb on her cheek, wiping her tears, "No more crying, Lark wouldn't have wanted that." She nods with a sniffle as i intertwine our fingers and follow behind my parents.
Lark keeps her head down as we walk through the pack lands, towards the pack house in which the funeral was to be held . I can hear the rapid sound of her heart beating and her erratic breathes as the memory plays over in her head, but other than that, it's silent.
I feel her steps fall short as she freezes, "Cassius i can't do this." She whispers as a single tear trails down her cheek. "Cecily, if you don't say a proper goodbye you will never forgive yourself, everything will be okay." I attempt to comfort her but she shakes her head.
"Nothing about this is okay, Cassius. My sister is dead, My 5 year old sister was murdered, I-," She trails off, her voice breaking as her eyes well up with tears. "I know, I know." I whisper as i wrap my arms around her once more.
I stare at the coffin with tears in my eyes as i get lost in my own mind, only coming back to reality once my name is called and i'm heading up to the podium.
I stare down at the faces of the people who came to honor my sister, there must be hundreds, I can see Cara sitting by Fern and Briar, but i choose to stare at Cassius.
"I-," I trail off not finding the right words "Biologically, Lark was my sister, But she was more like a daughter to me, I raised her when our mother couldn't be bothered to. "
"She was my best friend. It's so hard to believe she's gone.
" My nose burns as tears come to my eyes and i stare down at the wooden podium.
"Lark made me a better person, she made me responsible to an extent, she pushed me to do stuff i didn't think i could do, I mean, i wouldn't be here if she hadn't of begged me to go to the ball.
" I feel a twinge of guilt as i recall the first days after her death, I blamed in.
I told myself she would've been safe had i not met him.
"She was so young, She didn't experience half of what i wanted her to.
She didn't go to college, She didn't find love.
She was so smart, she could've done so much good, but now she's gone.
" I whisper as tears fall down my cheeks.
"Now she's gone." I don't know how long i'm stood there as tears fall down my cheeks and small sobs leave my body before i feel his arms encircle me, "She's gone.
" I whisper into the crook of his neck. "I failed her.
I promised i would protect her and i failed. "
Cassius whispers reassurances into my ear as he rocks me gently, "I failed her."