Chapter 3 #2
It comforted her in ways she didn’t expect, encouraging her to share even more.
Her dad was one of those topics she avoided like the plague because talking about him, thinking about him hurt, but she didn’t want to do that tonight.
“You know, my memories of him prior to his leaving were really good. He was a loving, funny father, always attentive, and unlike some dads, he didn’t mind playing games with me or taking me to the park or teaching me how to play the guitar. ”
“He taught you to play?” Joel asked.
She nodded. “The old guitar I use during my performances at the pub was his. It was the only thing he left behind.”
Joel reached out, his finger stroking her cheek, and she was surprised to realize he was wiping away a tear.
She was crying?
She sniffled, determined to swallow the tears down. For one thing, she never cried, and for another, she was on a first date with the hottest, coolest, nicest man she’d met in, well, ever. So crying within ten minutes of sitting down to dinner was definitely a stupid thing to do.
“Don’t do that, Andi.”
She frowned, confused. “Do what?”
“Pretend it doesn’t hurt. Hide your feelings from me.”
Andi shook her head, trying to find the right response to that. “We just met, Joel. We barely know each other. I don’t understand why I feel compelled to tell you all of this. For God’s sake, I’ve never even talked about Dad to Dylan, and he’s my brother.”
“I’m glad you’re comfortable enough with me to share. I want to hear it, want to know everything there is to know about you.”
She blotted her eyes with her napkin. Despite his reassurances, she took several deep breaths, pulling herself together.
She was an ugly crier, and she refused to screw up this night any more than she already had.
“I’ve sung that song enough that I didn’t think it could get to me like this,” she admitted.
He ran his fingers through her hair. “It’s a powerful song. That’s why it speaks to people, why they want to hear it again.”
“Maybe.” Then, before she could think better of it, words she’d never said aloud slipped out. “I stopped dreaming after he left. You asked me the other night what I wanted. I meant what I said. My dreams are small because I don’t ever want to hurt Dylan the way Dad hurt me.”
Joel frowned. “You don’t really believe that you’d leave your brother behind in pursuit of a dream, do you?”
She wouldn’t, but sometimes fears weren’t logical, didn’t make sense.
“I might not know you well, Andi, but I know you well enough to know you would never walk away from Dylan. Jesus. You work yourself to the point of exhaustion so you can make his dreams come true. Why is it okay for him to dream big, but not you?”
She’d never looked at things from that perspective. “I don’t know.”
Joel rubbed his chin for a moment, his gaze locked with hers.
She imagined this man—this veritable stranger—was the only person in the world with the ability to look into her eyes and see straight to her soul.
“I asked you last night what your dreams were. I’m asking you again.
And this time, I want you to put your fears aside, stop making excuses, and really think about what you would do with your life if you could choose anything. ”
Andi knew the answer to that, but years of pushing her dreams down deep was a hard thing to overcome. Her throat grew tight, and she wondered if she’d be able to speak, even if she tried.
“There’s a quote I like,” Joel said, when she didn’t respond. “From Thoreau. He said, Live the life you’ve imagined. I’m asking you to imagine that life, Andi. What’s it look like?”
She licked her lips, then let it all spill out. “I want to sing. Want to get married and have a family. I want financial security. I want to find a way to help my mom overcome her alcoholism, and I want enough money to be able to make my brother’s dream come true too.”
Joel listened as Andi shared things she had never had to courage to say aloud.
“I like that list,” he said. “Mainly because it falls in line with a list of goals I’ve been creating ever since I met you.”
Andi snorted. “You met me less than forty-eight hours ago. You’ve seriously been making a list?”
He nodded. “You have no idea how special you are, Andi.”
Joel hit her with a pointed stare when she scoffed, instantly dismissing his comment.
“I mean it. When I heard you sing…” He paused as if searching for the words. When he spoke again, she was damn glad he’d found them. “It was as if your soul had called out to mine in a way I’ve never experienced before.”
Andi didn’t have a clue how to reply to that because those were the greatest words she’d ever heard. “I want to put that line in a song,” she whispered.
Joel leaned toward her and Andi followed suit, the two of them cutting the distance. She’d never felt such an instant attraction—and connection—to anyone before. He spoke about her soul speaking to his, but the feeling was mutual.
His gaze dropped to her lips briefly, letting her know his intent. She quickly swiped her lower one with her tongue, signaling her assent.
He kissed her, the one lingering longer than the one he’d given her last night. Her lips parted and he stole a quick taste, his tongue dipping in.
God. This man could kiss her for the rest of her life and she’d never—ever—want for another thing. To hell with her original list because her dreams hadn’t just gotten bigger, they’d exploded.
When they parted, he cupped her cheek in his hand. “Your dreams are more achievable than you realize.”
She smirked, ready to refute those words, but he didn’t relent.
“I made some calls today.”
She frowned, confused by his statement. “Okay.”
“I’ve started setting your dreams in motion.”
“I don’t understand,” she said.
“I want you and Dylan to come visit me in New York next weekend.”
Andi started to shake her head, but Joel was proving to be a very stubborn man.
“Take the time off, Andi. I’ll show you around the city, and then...”
“Then?” she prompted.
Joel ran the backs of his fingers over her cheeks, looking at her like she’d hung the sun and the moon. “Then, I’m taking you to a recording studio. You’re going to record ‘Bigger Dreams’.”
“What do you mean record it?”
He gave her a crooked grin. “You never asked me what I do for a living.”
Andi tilted her head, suddenly curious. She’d figured he was just some successful businessman from the city, doing some high-powered job like the one her brother hoped to land one day. “What do you do?”
“I’m a music producer.”
Her eyes widened. “What?” she whispered in sheer disbelief.
“I want to help you achieve your dreams, but more than that, I want to keep seeing you.”
“Joel,” she began.
He placed his finger on her lips. “Don’t say no. Think about it. I’m offering you a way to make all those wild hopes and dreams of yours come true.”
“We only just met, Joel.”
“You’re right. And I don’t have an argument for that, but dammit.
I’m also old enough to know that doesn’t matter.
This is going fast, but I don’t care. This,” he said, pointing to himself, then her.
“This is powerful, overwhelming. It’s also right.
I knew it from the second I met you, even before I heard you sing. ”
Andi bit her lower lip. He’d been so open, so honest with her, she felt as if she owed him the same. “I feel it too.”
“This is just the beginning of something incredible. Something perfect.”
She’d never met anyone so confident. It was addictive and maybe even a little contagious.
“Perfect,” she repeated. This time, Andi initiated the kiss. It was a hungry kiss, full of passion and desire, and for a moment, she forgot they were in a very public place.
She broke off the kiss, flushing. That was when she saw Joel blinking, trying to regain his own focus. It was nice to know she wasn’t the only one getting carried away.
“Say yes, Andi. To visiting New York. To recording the song. To giving me a chance to prove to you just how right this thing between us is.”
She prided herself on being a rational, logical woman. Everything she did was done with introspection, with a lot of careful consideration, and even a list of pros and cons.
With Joel, all she wanted to do was dream and hope and dive into those pretty pictures he was drawing in her mind.
She looked into his dark brown eyes, framed with lines that told her he was a man who smiled and laughed often.
Trust wasn’t something she’d ever managed to give easily, that ability broken when her dad took off and her mother started drinking, losing jobs, constantly leaving them on the brink of poverty.
However, none of her usual doubts appeared as she looked at his handsome, kind face. All she saw in him was someone she could trust, someone she could rely on. Someone she could love.
He was right. It was crazy fast, but after a lifetime of simply going through the motions, Joel was offering her the chance at something extraordinary.
So she tossed caution to the wind, the answer painfully obvious.
“Say yes,” he murmured again when the silence lingered too long.
“Yes.”