Chapter 22 Jackson
JACKSON
“Hey, slowpoke.” Ryan stalks over from the west side of the big barn. “How much longer are you gonna dick around out here?”
I’ve spent the last hour fiddling with this damn fence post. It’s an easy repair, but the fucking joint won’t connect.
“As long as it fucking takes,” I say too harshly. I shove the wooden rod with my hip and pull down with all my might. While the post falls into place, it takes a piece of my skin with it. “Fuck!” I roar. I cradle my hurt hand into the other. I’m overreacting, but I don’t care.
He joins me. “What the hell’s up your ass?”
“Nothin’,” I grunt, but it’s not true. Everything is pissing me off. The sun. This ranch. The birds chirping. The fact I can’t get it up without picturing Rosalie.
“Are you sick or something?”
“Love sick,” I grumble under my breath.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“It’s nothing, okay? I’m just in a shitty mood. Am I not allowed to be in a bad mood?”
“Sure, but you’re going on a week.” He frowns. “It’s not like you.”
“Well, I’d appreciate it if everyone could stop assuming shit about me. People change, you know? They’re capable of wanting more, even if they swore they never would.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Maybe I do want kids! Okay? Maybe settling down with one person doesn’t seem like the worst idea in the world!”
“Oh, shit.” Ryan freezes. His brows lift so high, they disappear beneath the rim of his hat. “You fell in love.”
“So what if I did?”
He walks to the fence and takes off his gloves.
“Who is it? And why are you so angry? Shouldn’t you be happy?” He holds out his hand. “And let me see that.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I grump, showing him the scrape. “It’s nothing.”
He takes my hand in his and turns it over, assessing that I’m fine with a curt nod. “Why doesn’t it matter?”
“Because she doesn’t want a future with me!” I throw my hands in the air. “And I get it. I do. No one wants to start a family with the town fuckboy. I’m not the guy you marry. I’m the one you screw around with.”
“Whoa. Little brother, I don’t know who has you twisted up, but I’m sure that’s not true.”
“It is! I know that’s what y’all think about me.”
“Ridiculous.” Ryan shakes his head. “You’re a catch, Jackson. You’ve just never wanted to get caught.”
“Yeah, well, it doesn’t matter if I do.”
He crosses his arms over his chest. “Have you tried telling her how you feel?”
“What’s the point? She already let me know she doesn’t see a future together. I can’t change her mind, and I get it. Her ex is a piece of shit. She’s been lied to before. She’s not going to waste her time with someone who can’t deliver what she deserves. And I can’t even blame her.”
He scrubs a hand over the scruff of his beard.
“The way I see it, you’ve got two options.”
I lean on the fence.
“I’m listenin’.”
“You can let her go. Walk away and let it be. Move on.”
“I hope I like the second option better.”
“Prove her wrong.” He drops the words like a challenge.
“She’s been hurt before? Who hasn’t. Don’t hurt her.
Show her what it feels like to be the center of your world.
She doesn’t trust you? Earn it. Give her all the time and space she needs, but don’t give up.
If she’s worth it, you’ll put in the work.
And if it’s meant to be, she’ll come around. ”
He makes it sound so simple.
“What if I do all that and she still won’t give me a chance?”
He shrugs. “You walk away knowing you did everything you could.”
“She could break my heart.” Could? She already has.
“Real love does that.”
When Ryan’s ex left, the light in his eyes went out for years. It wasn’t until Val came back that he truly started living again. Am I destined to years of self-torment just because I went and fell in love with Rosalie Masters?
I sigh. “How do you get over it?”
“You just do.” He puts his gloves back on. “Because the alternative is giving up. And as shitty as you feel right now, and as pointless as the future seems, there are brighter days ahead. I promise. Real love does that, too.”