Chapter 28 Rosalie
ROSALIE
“Shoes, clothes, school supplies, boots, and a proper hat.” Jackson lists everything we’ve accumulated after our day of shopping. He glances at the full shopping cart. “What else do we need?”
“Toys?” Edward suggests.
I open my mouth to remind him we have more than enough of those at home, but before I can speak, Jackson does.
“Where’s the toy aisle?” He glances around the giant box store.
“Over there!” Edward points.
“Lead the way,” Jackson says, turning the cart to follow after my son.
I catch up to Jackson’s side, lowering my voice so only he can hear. “He doesn’t need a toy.”
“Sure.” Jackson shrugs. “But he hasn’t complained once. Let me spoil him a little.” He’s already spoiled Edward, insisting on paying for the entire purchase at the Western wear store. He picked up lunch. I’m almost certain he’s going to try and pay for the contents of our cart at this store, too.
“How am I doin’?” Jackson asks, watching as Edward skips ahead several paces.
“With what?”
“With the wooin’.” He shoots me one of his devious grins. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m pretty into you.”
“Really?” I deadpan. “I couldn’t tell.” But I’m a liar and he knows it. My body heats thinking of all the ways he’s shown up for me and Edward these past weeks.
My phone buzzes in my bag and I pull it out to check the notification, thankful for the distraction.
Clint: Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow! I’ll be at the diner at 10:30.
Oh, shit. I swipe the notification away before Jackson sees. I forgot about my upcoming date. Guilt wraps around my body, souring this perfect day. When I made these plans with Clint, I thought Jackson was out of the picture. I never imagined he’d show up to “woo” me.
I should cancel. Though, I feel bad doing that when Clint is such a nice guy.
It’s just lunch. We haven’t even kissed.
Maybe I should just go and explain to him in person about how things have changed for me since we last went out?
I don’t want there to be any misunderstandings, especially when Clint is new to this town and our sons will be classmates.
Yeah. That’s what I’ll do. I’ll meet him and tell him where I stand with Jackson.
Only, I don’t really know where we stand. Not in a way I can define.
When I left his cabin after our week together, I was sure things were over.
I was so scared of the possibility that things could go right, I shut this down before I risked my heart.
How insane is that? Whether I wanted it or not, my heart was already involved.
These past few weeks, Jackson has given me a glimmer of what our lives could look like, and I like it more than I should.
I like him more than I’ve liked any other man.
I’m still scared, but I’m starting to think I’m wrong. Wrong about playing things safe. Wrong about not pursuing more with him.
“Jackson, look at this!” Edward calls him over.
“Watch the cart?” Jackson says to me. He must read the stress on my face as frustration about shopping for a toy. “This won’t take long.”
“Take your time. Just one toy, though!”
“One?” Jackson winks. “Where’s the fun in that?”
“One!” I shout after him before he and Edward disappear into the toy section.
But I can’t muster up any real annoyance.
I love that he wants to do things for Edward.
That he wants to be the source of excitement and joy for my son in ways he’s never had.
He’s showing Edward what it’s like to be cared for by feeding him, by sharing his love of Wilder Valley with him, and by treating me well.
Jackson’s truck is packed as we make the drive back to Wilder Valley.
Edward sits in the back of the extended cab, shopping bags piled around him, his hands clutching the LEGO set Jackson bought him, his lips in a soft smile as he dozes off.
There’s something about sleep that accentuates his youthfulness.
Still, I can’t deny he’s growing up. My heart squeezes knowing that on Monday he’ll officially be a second grader.
As I turn back to face the front window, I catch Jackson’s gaze.
“He’s out.”
“Shopping does that.” Jackson grins.
I think of tackling today on my own. I’ve done it countless times, and I’m completely capable. But it was more fun with a partner, and I’m grateful he’s the one driving us home.
“Thank you for driving. And lunch. And all the spoiling.”
“It was my pleasure,” Jackson says. Silence stretches between us, but it’s a comfortable silence.
My eyes grow heavy with each passing mile and I consider taking a nap of my own.
“Will he sleep tonight?” Jackson asks. “Or will this nap ruin it?”
“As long as we get back before dinner, I think he’ll be fine.” Edward doesn’t take many naps these days, but it’s been a busy week.
“Don’t you have book club tonight?”
I do. But since today’s outing ran longer than planned, I’ll skip it.
“Yeah, but I don’t have time.”
“What do you mean? Don’t y’all start around five?”
“Sarah’s hosting, but I need to feed Edward and then drop him off at Maeve’s. By the time I’d get there, I’d miss all the good stuff. Besides, after the day we had, I think Edward just needs to go home and decompress.”
“I’ll feed Edward and stay with him until you get back.”
“Jackson, you don’t have to do that.”
He takes his eyes off the road to flash me one of his megawatt smiles.
“What if I want to?”
“You’ve already done a lot today. I’m sure the last thing you want to do . . .”
I don’t finish the sentence. I can’t. Because I’m starting to believe Jackson is exactly where he wants to be. I’m not a burden to him, and neither is my son. The realization renders me speechless.
He sneaks another glance my way. “You don’t get it yet, do you?” His eyes return to the road.
“Get what?” I whisper.
“I want to be everything you and Edward need.”
“Jackson, I—” I need to tell him about my date with Clint.
“It’s okay,” he interrupts before I find the right words. “You take as much time as you need. I’ve got the rest of my life.”
For the second time today, I’m at a loss for words.
The sign welcoming us back to Wilder Valley sits on the side of the highway.
We pass it, and I realize we’re out of time.
I want to have this conversation with Jackson, but not when we’re rushed or when my son might wake up and overhear.
As terrifying as it is, I’m ready to be honest about my feelings and lay everything on the line.
“If I drop you at Sarah’s, can someone bring you home?” Jackson asks, interrupting my thoughts. “That way you won’t be too late.” The digital clock on the dashboard already reads ten past five.
“Let me ask.” I pull out my phone and fire off a text to the group chat. Within minutes I’m rewarded with several offers. “Ride home secured. But don’t feel like you have to. I can help you unload all of this first.”
“Don’t be silly,” he says, nodding ahead to the exit for Sarah and Aiden’s neighborhood. “We’re driving right past it.”
“Thanks.” It’s an unfamiliar role, playing the passenger princess. I’m used to making all the decisions, and doing all the work. It feels good to let someone else drive. To let someone else take care of us.
It’s not until we turn onto Sarah’s street that I realize everyone is going to recognize Jackson’s truck. “Right here is fine,” I instruct, panic fueling my demand.
“Here?” His brows knit with confusion.
“Right here,” I demand. “Stop.”
Jackson pulls to the side of the road, but doesn’t put the vehicle in park.
“Rosalie, I’m not gonna make you hike down the road.” His expression is full of questioning. But I don’t have to explain; he reaches the answer on his own. “Oh.” The dejection in his tone causes me physical pain.
“I’m sorry.”
“You don’t want anyone to see that it’s me dropping you off.”
“It’s not that,” I quickly reply.
“It’s not?”
“Okay, it is a little.” I sigh, glancing back to make sure Edward is still sleeping soundly. “Everyone will be up in our business. You don’t get how overwhelming our group chat can be.”
“Half of them are in my family group chat.”
“So, you get it, then. How much they’ll insert their opinions?” I’m not explaining this right, but I try to make him understand. “These last few weeks, I’ve seen a side of you that I want to know more, but if we let everyone in, that changes.”
“Yeah.” He nods, but the hurt on his face is still there. Dammit.
“I just want to enjoy our bubble away from it all. Just a little longer.”
I want time to tell him exactly how I feel, and what I need if we’re really going to do this.
“Okay, I’ll park here.” Jackson shifts the gear. “But I’m watching you walk all the way inside before I drive away.”
“Thank you.” The relief I feel is immediate, and I dig around in my bag to retrieve my keychain. “The gold one is my house key. I’ll be back before Edward’s bedtime.”
“Hey”—he holds my hand as I pass him the keys—“Stay as late as you want. No rush. I mean it. We’ll be good.”
It takes great effort to drag my hand away from the warmth of his touch, and I give him one last look before exiting the truck. As I walk the distance to Sarah’s, I shove all of my doubts away and repeat Jackson’s last words like a mantra. We’ll be good.
God, I hope he’s right.