Chapter 31 Jackson
JACKSON
It’s rare that I spend one-on-one time with any of my siblings. It’s kind of a by-product when you are the youngest of five. So, when I run into Aiden at the hardware store and he asks if I want to grab a bite, I jump at the opportunity.
He fills me in on the latest with his family as we sip coffee and place our food orders. Everything is great, until I glance up and find Rosalie walking into the diner. With another man.
My brain scrambles to formulate a rational reason for my woman to be sitting across from another man, but jealous anger coils under my skin, growing with each pulse of my heart, and chasing away all sense of logic.
“Who’s that?” I ask my brother as I glare across the room.
Aiden turns, scanning the direction of my stare. “With Rosalie?” He turns back to me and I nod. “That’s Clint Reed. He just moved here. We hired him at the station part-time. Good guy.”
Good guy. I scoff.
“So, what? They’re dating?” Is this what she wanted to talk about last night? God, I’m so fucking stupid. I grip my mug so tightly, I’m surprised it doesn’t break.
“I know Maeve was intent on setting them up, and you know how she gets when she plays matchmaker.” Aiden chuckles. “I haven’t worked with him yet, but from what I hear, he’s a stand-up guy. Owns his own construction business. Single parent, too. They’ll have that in common.”
“Yeah,” I grumble, unable to stop myself from glaring at the perfect motherfucker.
Aiden leans forward, resting his elbows on the table.
“He do something to offend you?”
Yeah, he’s on a date with the woman I love. The urge to pummel his stupid, smiling face is so strong, I should receive an award for staying put.
“No.” I grind my teeth together. “Why?”
“Because you look like you want to kill him.”
“Maybe I do.” I force myself to laugh and look away from Rosalie.
“Pancakes?” Our server arrives at the table with a tray of food.
“That’s me.” Aiden grins, clearing a space for her to set the food down. She empties the rest of the plates and asks if we need anything else.
“I think we’re good,” Aiden answers, catching my gaze.
“Yeah. All good,” I say, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I pick up my fork and stab the omelet in front of me. Only, I’ve lost my appetite.
I can’t believe Rosalie is on a fucking date. I know how pushy my sister can be, but there’s no good reason Rosalie didn’t tell me, unless she wants to date other people? Fuck. What if that’s true?
“Everything okay with your food?” Aiden asks. I appreciate his concern, even if it’s wildly misplaced.
“It’s fine.” I force myself to take a bite, but my shoulders sag.
The anger in the pit of my belly morphs into defeat. I wish Aiden and I had a closer relationship. I wish I could tell him everything going on, and that he could offer me some magical brotherly advice. I wish I were on a date with Rosalie right now, and that some sad SOB were jealous of me.
But wishes don’t come true, and I can’t really talk about Rosalie. Not here. Not in this diner, with her on a date and eyes all around us. If I’m to have any chance of a future with Rosalie, it won’t be achieved by causing a scene.
My mood is sour but I manage to eat most of my meal, and as soon as Aiden is done, we pay our tab and leave the diner.
I keep my head high and completely avoid looking at Rosalie and Clint, even if I’m dying to shoot him another glare.
I can’t escape the building fast enough, and while my head is still fucked, I breathe a little easier as soon as the fresh mountain air hits my lungs.
“This was nice,” Aiden says as we walk to the back of the diner where our trucks are parked. “Doing this.”
“Yeah.” I kick a rock.
“I feel like there’s always a crew of people around. I kinda hate that I don’t really know my brother,” Aiden states. His mood is so damn happy and light. The way mine was less than thirty minutes ago. It really pisses me off.
“Yeah, well, that happens when you just up and leave for twenty years.”
Aiden stops walking.
“Okay.” He cocks his head and studies my moody expression. “Fair.”
“Sorry, that was rude.” God, it’s not Aiden’s fault Rosalie found someone else.
“Yeah. But maybe you’ve been holding that in?” Aiden crosses his arms, leaning on the side of his truck. “Sarah felt the same way.”
Cat’s already out of the bag. Might as well be honest.
“A lot of us did.”
“I’m sorry. I was young, and while that’s not an excuse, it’s a big part of why. I was doing the best I could, and I let a lot of people down.”
“You used to call.” I remember the first few years he enlisted. “And then nothing.” It was after Sarah broke off their engagement. “You promised you’d come home and you never did.”
He was only supposed to be gone a few years. I was just a kid, but I was devastated when he re-enlisted. So was our mom. She and I both cried.
“Sometimes, life doesn’t take the path you plan.
” He sighs. “I am proud of my career, and I am grateful every day that Sarah and I got our second chance. But sometimes I wish I could go back in time and do it differently. That I could have built a life with her from the beginning. That she never had to deal with her goddamn ex.”
“Yeah.” I didn’t realize he felt that way. Didn’t realize how much he gave up. It doesn’t erase the feelings of abandonment I still carry, but it forces me to acknowledge the nuance of the situation.
“Besides, it’s not like you needed me around. Hell, I’ve been back for over a year and we’re just having breakfast.”
I scoff. He didn’t just say that.
“Yeah, well, it’s not like you’ve had any time for me.”
His brows rise as he appraises me. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“When you came back, you spent all your free time with Sarah. I get it, I do. But did you even want to have a relationship with me? Because I’m right here.
I’ve been here the entire time. The perpetual bachelor, which you might know something about, but you’re too blissfully happy to remember how fucking lonely it is.
“Y’all have your families. Y’all love to poke fun. But I’m not a joke. Maybe I want to have a better relationship with my brothers. But that’s hard to do when I’m the laughingstock of our family.”
My feelings come out in a rush, filled with accusations and years of frustration. Aiden’s face draws tight with anger.
“Are you serious right now?”
“Yeah, I fucking am.” Self-righteousness fills my chest, a much better feeling than the jealousy and dejection I carried moments ago.
“Jax, come on,” Aiden shakes his head. “You play into every one of those jokes. Hell, half the time, you’re the one starting them. Besides, you know it’s all from a place of love. Teasing and giving each other a hard time is a love language in this family.”
“Yeah.” I frown because he’s not wrong. I deflate a little.
“As for the other stuff, you’re right. I’m sorry.
I should have made a better effort to keep in touch over the years.
I left and I didn’t think about how it affected everyone else.
And now I’m trying to make up for that and do better.
But you’re right. The phone works both ways, and I can pick mine up more.
I would love to do this again, or meet at the Legion for quarter pints to shoot the shit, or even take the day to go fishin’ down by the creek. ”
“I’d like that, too.” Now I feel bad for going off on him. The things I said were true, but they were fueled by my frustration with where I stand with Rosalie. Not him. “I’m sorry. I could’ve said that better.”
“It’s all good, baby bro.” He opens his arms wide. “Come here.”
I step into his embrace and we pat each other’s backs before stepping back. Aiden pulls his keys from his pocket.
“And Jackson?”
“Yeah.”
“If you want everyone to see you differently? To take you seriously? You gotta act different.” He raises his brows. “No one’s gonna see you as a prospective date for their friend when you’re at the bars all weekend, or when you’re sleeping with half the town.”
I’m stunned. Not by his advice, but by his insight. Maybe he knows me better than I give him credit for.
“That’s in the past.”
“Does she know that?” Aiden tips his chin toward the diner.
I swallow hard. “I don’t know if she believes me.”
If she did, would she be on a date with another man?
“So, do better.” Aiden shrugs. “Your reputation will follow. Stop laughing everything off, and show the fuck up.”
That’s what I’ve been doing.
“I’m tryin’.”
“That’s a start.” He turns to glance at the diner. “Because if you want a woman like that, you’ll have to do better than try. She’s not gonna give your ass a second chance if you fuck it up.”
“I’m not gonna fuck it up.”
If Rosalie doesn’t want a relationship with me, it’ll be on her terms, not because I sabotage it. I’m going to be the man she deserves. I refuse to let her down. Not when our happily ever after is at stake.